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  Feb 21 hannah
i cry at any song that’s
even remotely
“pretty in a sad way,”
as my roommate says.
i cry whenever anyone
raises their voice around me,
it doesn’t even have to be
at me.
i cry when people
cry around me,
even when it’s not my problem,
or worse, when it is.
i break,
break down at minor inconveniences,
but who’s to call me fragile
except myself?
(because if anyone else did,
i'd probably cry)
hannah Feb 19
If you've ever grown a garden
You know how hard it is
To start again and again
Year after year
Planting seeds and saplings with love and care
Only for it all to die when the cold comes

But you learn some things
Growing a garden
Not all is lost in winter
Some things go dormant, some roots grow deep
Deep enough to evade the cold and stay imbedded in that ground forever
All things die in time
But not some of these trees
They become immortal to you
They're there as long as you live

It all starts out small in a garden
You fail at first, and then again
But then something sticks
Something holds
Fights to hold on and stay alive
And succeeds
And you get to watch it grow into this beautiful thing
Towering over all the other plants you grow after that
No matter how tall or splendid your other plants grow
There was always the first
Even after it dies
It's still alive
Because it is the foundation
Of everything else you grow
Thank you for getting me this far. I'm never going to forget you.
  Feb 19 hannah
Adaley June
we run the city like lost girls
looking for a face to call home
always paying rent
never privileged to own

we stack up disappointments
in our stacked heels
stocking bookshelves with boots
higher than our ideals

we learn to laugh when we're sad
and cry when we're happy
balance each other
and feel it all fearlessly

someday we'll meet handsome men
with steady hands
and we'll still run the city
but we'll know where we stand
  Nov 2020 hannah
the wounds on my body are more than scraped knees and picked off scabs.
they go deep down, to the darkest of trenches.
where no one can find them but me.
  Oct 2020 hannah
xavier thomas
I need to tell you the truth
Not lie nor give you an excuse
I have a crush on you babe
But fear your love, that it’s fake
Situation so repulsive
Yeah, heart has me chasing after toxic

Afraid to ask, but I wanna say...
I want you bad & I can’t no longer wait.
You’re making me vulnerable right now
It’s everything I’ve always want
You’re breaking my heart, walls burning down
It’s everything I’ve never want

Dying flower, dying flower
Dying flower, dying, dying dying
Dying flower, dying flower
Dying flower, dying, dying, dying
Innocent mind vs. Toxic actions
  Oct 2020 hannah
I want to feel the breaking of my own skin. the resist of the blade on my upper thigh.
god, I am worthless.
the only thing that makes me feel as good as you do is the trickle of blood down my legs.
how quirky.
I can't even describe myself.
I am becoming my father. addiction will always be a top priority.

"I promise, I promise"
and to think, I would never break one.

I am everything I am trying to run away from.
  Oct 2020 hannah
you’re my
good morning
and my
and my every
good thing
in between
you’re my every second
of every day

except for the seconds
when you’re with her,
of course
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