Another one to add to my record books
I've watched yet another day's sunrise
but today's mash of day to night to day run on is slightly bent
Maybe it's how the clouds & sky looks
OR MAYBE my peace is on one of those really awesome highs
But to me it feels like the weather is trying to repent

Alone in my mind, I frequent there quite a bit
I'm a V.I.P. member, platinum access
Party of one, that reservation will never change
Routine time after time I'm left standing, too crowded to sit
&& knowing the outcome every time, yet still I habitually return to the mess
Some great times come out of there, I know it seems strange

My attention is rather easy to get but you won't have it long
Distractions catch me quick, lost in another disorganized thought
Loud endless static echo's from the constant ruckus
Which can be more annoying than a jammed doorbell's "DING ****, DING ****"
Focus is nonexistent with all the commotion, which is quite a lot
BUT I am not becoming one of the hopeless

Alone in my mind, always working overtime
Day or night doesn't matter when, it doesn't take breaks
Untangling it can sometimes be a tedious mission
Worse than trying to get directions from a mime
Hours could be lost by how long it takes
& for a split second, eyes blind to reality with empty vision

Now inside trying to sort & arrange my thoughts & word flow
From what makes sense & what needs to get real
But just like quick sand, it never fails
I get stuck in the same place
To my notebook's pages, it refuses to cooperate & correctly go
But it's not always such a big ordeal
Occasionally the words nice & easily fall into the correct space

Alone in my mind is where I usually can be found
When I'm up with the moon & stars
& all the house is fast asleep
There I sit with notebooks all around
With pages of scribbles about life & how it scars
But that's where my soul speaks & my emotions run deep

.....Soooo do you want to know something rather funny I heard
& know for a fact is completely absurd
this did I hear from a friendly little bird
Who I can trust is true to their word
there's this boy I use to know really well
Who's running around with all these stories he's trying to tell
about me being so horrible & I'm going to hell
he must have tripped & hit his head when he fell
Telling his new "lady", a  lady she is not, not in any state
all these lies about me when we used to date
it's just ******* & drama he's trying to create
I'm not sure what I did to him for me to receive all this hate
I personally thought I was great
I am just glad things changed to rearrange my fate........

......Meanwhile....
Another conversation was being held....
"Honey!", he calls "I have a date night arranged."
"We can talk & post stories about my ex, I know it sounds strange...."
....BUT you're my shoulder to cry on, he thinks to himself, I shouldn't have ever replaced
I wish I could retrace......

....Now....I have this random thought hit, just out of no place
They must sit around their fireplace
Seeing how much they can say to destroy my name's good grace
Hmmmm..I guess it's my face
he cannot seem to erase...

Let's get back to a happier state
where you can see why there wasn't a need for a debate &...

before I was in too deep & it was too late
this is what this idiot said
I swear he's mental in his head
who knew this is where our split would've led
& surprisingly don't you think, since I was dumped, it would be me in which the lies were spread
instead the table has turned
& it's me they want to make sure gets burned
but they're dumb & to ignore those who don't matter is what I've learned
So their little game will get nothing out of me
& I really have no reason to be concerned
& no need for comebacks or smart remarks to be returned
I'm over this ****
& I find it hilarious too, that he's saying I used to hit
Apparently I was abusive & violent
like I beat him??... is that what he meant
because anybody who hears this will surely know it's completely ridiculous, wonder how much time with that he spent
making me sound like such a bad ***, what a compliment
definitely he's lost his mind, it's a few screws in which he seems to miss
he's also quite confused, since it was me he called useless
& how I was always lazy
but now you can all see it wasn't me who was crazy
& for whatever reason it may be
That **** talking & lied about me
is what he decides to do is beyond anything I can see
I have moved on with my life
& at first the pain hurt like getting cut over & over with a dull knife
It was  just time to finally end the strife
I happily continue on & that is all just a story I tell starting with this.... It all began once upon...
... upon a time where I was "in love" but now it's long gone...
there was a new girl he had gotten
but strange it was me he still had not forgotten
To me he wasn't someone I thought about often
All these lies he's getting caught in
make him look even more & more rotten
& even his mother, the one he could trust in
she lost her faith in little boy because he continuously tells her to him she means nothin'
But we both know who, in the end really matters
& to ignore their endless chatters
when their world comes crashing down & all they have shatters
it's maybe then they'll finally get what it is they both are so desperately after
'cause from me & his mother, all they'll get is points & laughter
so go ahead & spread all your vicious lies
doesn't bother me at all, go ahead with all your tries
the more you hate on me, the more & more I become more wise
I guess I'm just always on your brain, well isn't that a surprise
I do have one thing to say
as I go about my each & every day
I'm glad things happened this way
to show me, I'm way better off if I didn't stay
So listen carefully to my words that I speak
& they may come as a shock
the time has definitely passed on the clock
can't you hear it's tick, tick, tock?
So that means GET THE ******* MY ****!!
Before I ******* hit you with a ROCK!!
& then I'll leave your body outlined in chalk
So you better be careful with the **** you talk
& if you see me out, it's the other way you better walk
even though it's flattering that it's me you want to stalk
but it's getting ridiculous
& there is just one more thing I want to confess
I'm so much better now without so much stress
I'm just sorry you are now a complete mess
Now maybe you can see, it was always you who was worthless
& that I was actually quite priceless
BUT this is what you wanted, I guess
I'm much better I must say & my friends all are glad I'm not ending up hopeless
So when people ask me "are you moved on?" I can HAPPILY say "YES!!"
because I'm now filled with peace & happiness

It's nice to feel wanted
I'm not trying to be conceited
....but who doesn't like to feel needed?
helping you, so you can stay feeling unstoppable & you've succeeded
letting nothing hold you down & you're never defeated
they'll be there when you feel life left you cheated
it will bring your spirits up to know someone's there for you after you have been mistreated
as long as you learn from your mistakes & be sure they're not repeated
if they are, then from your brain that lesson learned, might as well just be CONTROL+ALT+DELETED
But this rhyme isn't close to completed
my side I must tell before they have me committed
& before you know it, insane asylum admitted
white wall padded, straight jacket fitted
& no visitors EVER permitted
So do you understand what I'm saying? Like do you get it?!
pay attention to my words very closely
they're after my happiness mostly
I'm unaware of their faces, it's done quite anonymously
unless I give in to their way & live my life forever blasphemously
changing me & my thoughts enormously
& then making me noticed famously
overnight fame & success appearing mysteriously
my childhood now seeming so ghostly
I'll leave lasting impressions & image my legacy will be known to have lived infamously
the media flooded with my stories of how I partied too promiscuously
under the constant watch of all seeing eye, making sure all stays on track & smoothly
controlled by the higher ones who act quite villainous
a high price to pay to be so important, to win quite victoriously
but I was just a slave, robot, or however you want to put it, but moving unconsciously
at first the perfect decision to get away from the bad, only it was worse & more costly
lost myself to another version of me, who took over so viciously
Now I'm "reborn" something much more deviously
this is my life now, no alive way out.... obviously
with my fancy house, expensive cars & endless appearances, my life will continue to be luxuriously
& I will always smile deliriously
.....So would you sell your soul for instant gain of wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy & glutton, to achieve fame & fortune so scandalously??
& be forever remembered notoriously
the choice is ALWAYS yours, choose wisely...
just in the end, don't take the results so surprisingly
Now you're in the constant eyes of society
from how well you do with sobriety
& your every more daily & nightly
So DO NOT take things so lightly
& hold your morals & beliefs tightly...

For some of you your day is just about done
& as for me,  mine has only just begun
The sun slowly dims it's light
& the freaks take over the night
You can be whoever you want to be
After all, in the dark it is harder to see
Rules don't matter & anything goes
You may even encounter a vampire, who knows
BUT remember you can't stay
When the darkness goes away

I enjoy my breakfast before I sleep
My dreams **** me in too deep
At the crack of dawn
Here I go with another yawn
" the sun is way too ******* bright "
Under my blankets I hide & say "goodnight"
My life is on the flip-side
Not stuck in rewind
No pause in my day
Just a steady play

Graveyard shift, adjustment required
Of course you'll get over being tired
A rearranged life style
Better get use to it, it may be awhile
Eventually it'll be your daily habit & all will just fit
Normal no longer applies when you live in the day of opposite

No one will quite understand
Your presence is always in demand
When the sun is bright & shinning high
But you're fast asleep, in your bed you lie
It isn't a crime
This is your bedtime
You're "lazy" they claim
But they're not living opposite, it's not the same
They don't want to hear your excuse
So why waste my sleep, what's the use?
I have no shame
& I don't care if you think I'm lame
I don't think of you at all anyway
& that's how it's going to stay
The graveyard is where I roam
...Vampire time is when it's home!

La La La LA LA my mind is too LOUD
& it's an annoying distraction
It's stirring up a pretty thick cloud
Restlessness is taking over my attention
Blank stares are all my face shows
Deep into my thoughts I get stuck
BUT...that's how it always goes
it's just my wonderful luck
I am an unlucky Irish
& there sure isn't a genie around to grant my wish
My mind's explorer has too many tabs open & their "X" box to close isn't showing
No doubt the system will have an overload
I don't like the way this is going
With a lockdown in process, we're going to be in safe mode
GREAT, now popping up a message stating there's an error report
No GEEK squad could fix this mess
Don't even bother calling tech support
It's just an unfixable issue I confess
& it distracts me frequently from whatever I am doing
Good thing sanity isn't something I wanted to achieve
It will always be chaos, jumbled words & thoughts just brewing
Just occasionally, here & there, that some very needed silence I can receive
It's a place I don't go to play pretend
Too crowed & constantly a wonky massive amount of cluttering
Frustrating as being in a labyrinth with no end
Repetitive & out loud, sentence & words are what I am muttering
But I am far, far, far from crazy
I'm just distracted & on a mission inside my head
& I only seem like I'm kind of lazy
But if I don't complete this task, words & thoughts are forgotten, dusty & unsaid
So I do apologize
I tend to get lost between leaving & returning to reality
From time to time you may encounter me with eery, vacant eyes
.....a mix up between those though would sure weaken my stability
...so please excuse me if I seem to emotionlessly stare
Right through you like freshly windexed glass
Because honestly, I never once knew you were there...
You vanished in my path as you pass
Dealing with constant noise can be quite extreme
Like shouting for help but without a voice & remaining unheard
For a split second, a rare moment my mind may be clear & clean
Then flooded without warning, just a thought or hearing a word
Ideas to write all about are popping up everywhere
No pen or papers, useless ideas if they're forgotten
& sometimes they're really good & worth a chance to share
But sorting words & lost in brain waves happens way too often
Never relieved for break
Wish a silent corner I could temporarily find
Just a minute or two rest, such a difference it'd make
...WELL...DO YOU MIND???

Out of my head I've spun
& to think I've only just begun
Too much to do & see, I'm having too much fun
I'm not even close to being done

All my personalities are starting to shine
& NO, I'm not crazy, really I'm fine
My personalities are just a hobby of mine
They do their best to stay on their side of the line

A best friend to share the madness that I can't contain
Each days adventures create memories & more happiness we gain
Even through the craziest missions, still BFFs we remain
Our lives are exciting & fun, very far from plain

Remember, if you can, to take risks & laugh a lot
Don't be greedy, instead make the most & the best from what you've got
Never regret the things you've done, whether it was bad or not
Everything happens for a reason, just don't forget the lesson you were taught

Now that that has been said
& I've written enough with my colorful ink pens, of course never any pencil lead
My mind is finally a bit more quiet since I've cleared my head
By creating some interesting poems to someday be read!

When the time finally arrives
it's that feeling your body thrives
you suddenly become more alive
but with that you realize
it's not something you want to use to strive
because in your eyes, your happiness is lies
as your feelings reach new highs
& you see darkness in your skies
you years you slowly ****
but to you it is another cheap thrill
you do it all on your own will
either as a line or a pill
no matter what you'll get your fill

You just do a little more as you go
when your high becomes a low
you hope nobody will ever know
but your dependency is beginning to show
one minute you're happy the next mad, you think it's
just a fad but really inside you're sad, sad because of how
you became
now you're just filled with shame, since you're stuck in this never
ending
addiction game, with that you're life will never be the same....
& you're the only one to blame

Two boys with a HIGH expectation
On how they see their future
Hard workers & lots of dedication
In their minds it was a perfect picture

Two girls just wanting happiness
Going against what others may say
Even when times seemed like a crisis
They were determined in every way

One boy always about making that money
The other boy just trying to stay on his feet
Both making a relationship crummy
Forcing it to be left incomplete

One girl forgetting about herself
The other girl convinced she could fix him
Both of them putting their own feelings aside on the shelf
No matter what they do, things continue to look grim

One boy hard to please & never satisfied
The other boy losing control of his fist
Both blinded by their actions, to themselves they lied
But their ******* won't be missed

One girl decided to take their life back
The other girl practically pushed away
Both girls realized they were on the wrong track
&& they were glad they didn't continue to stay

One boy had trouble letting go
The other boy obviously never really cared
Both boys truly ****** up, this we all know
Because of their actions they clearly shared

One girl now completely happy with someone new
The other girl finally happy & released from her restraints
Both girls living their lives how they choose to
They're all about peace & love & NO COMPLAINTS!

As it runs through my veins
Rearranging thoughts in my brain
Things I cannot contain
Reasons that will remain
Unknown & nameless
Like a one hit wonder, who thought he was famous
It's an amazing feeling
That leaves me tingly from floor to ceiling
Puts me in such a happy place
That a permanent smile stays on my face
Peace is a sensation so amazing & sweet
That I'm lifted right off my feet
& everything is always kept so neat
No one will ever tell why
Hehehe....I feel like a secret spy
The truth will not be exposed
Because that's how it goes
Kept so deep inside
From the world it will hide
It's safe there, with no judgment
Roaming in solitary confinement
The day it's set free
Will be the time it says goodbye to me
But that day is far away
So until it comes, we'll continue to play!!!

Out of my mind
In my creative place
No limit to what I'll find
Wandering the never ending space
It's beyond amazing
Down goes another casualty
& I didn't even try saving
Rest in peace to reality
It is better this way
I just feel so free
**** right I'm going to stay
You would to if you were me!

So as you continue through your day
you wonder how it got this way
somethings will never change
on to the next chapter, turn page
You can't control how you feel
& the pain may be real
like being cut with a knife
this is how you chose to live your life

As your addiction began to grow
you slowly started to lose your glow
everything we had started to shatter
but to you that didn't even matter
you decided it was time for a break
at the time it was really hard for me to take
its been long days & weeks since you've been gone
& I'm surprisingly moving on
there is something I need to get off my chest
I know I may not have been the best
there's also something else I'd like to confess
my life is so much better without you causing it stress

You actually did me a favor
now  I can stop trying to be you savior
I did everything I could do
but it is only YOU  who can save **YOU

One question with answers that are never quite the same
Constantly changing, like a bi-polar mood ring
Does it exist, Heaven & Hell
After our time has reached its end & goodbye is waved
Will our soul rise above into the sky?
Or quickly be dropped beyond the dirt in your fiery domain in the ground?

Your actions& choices while living, so "they" say, are the reasons to blame
For your souls eternal bliss or its endless suffering
BUT to just anyone your soul you won't sell
The fear of being cleared of you existence & permanently erased
So will you go to Heaven or Hell after you die
....Maybe you'll end up lost & in between, earth bound

SO...DOES Heaven & Hell really exist
Don't be fooled & let your thoughts be easy to twist
Some will argue that YES, of course it does!!
& others believe there isn't now nor there ever was
But either way you believe in whatever you want to
You better not let anyone tell you what to do!!
Personally, who really & truly knows where anyone, in the end, actually goes
Anyways...why worry, now, about that
You're living NOW! In the PRESENT! so enjoy it wherever you're at!!

My thoughts may drift off throughout the day, I'm a dreamer what can I say??
But firmly on the ground my feet do stay
That I won't deny , no need to lie
There's more to me than what meets the eye
So look beyond what your eyes can see,
Before you go assuming & judging me
Regardless though I'll still continue on peacefully & worry free
That's just how I am, I just be!!

You're losing your control
The nothingness is gaining on your soul
It's like electricity traveling through a telephone wire
Or a rapid spreading fire
Don't you dare ******* blink
Faster & faster, it's all starting to sink
Still hopelessly you sit plucking the petals from flowers
Tick, tick the hands won't stop the hours
Over & over & over the words you consistently recite
You're hoping that last petal ends up right
There's a 50 percent chance of it ending "...loves you not"
Irritating you extremely & making you very distraught
Screams & rants of anger is what we hear
Sights of ending this obsession are nowhere near
The flowers are trembling & dying
If they had eyes, now would be when they're crying
Oddly enough, you're steady & not once lost focus
Like I mentioned earlier, she's pathetic & hopeless
As all the wrong petals now litter the entire path
Since that's how she's convinced she'll find her better half
....like a snail, she's going nowhere awfully fast
Seriously, how much longer will her shenanigans last?!
Please be informed: IN ORDER TO LIVE, YOU GOT TO MOVE YOU FEET!
If you don't, then not a single soul you'll meet
Of course it'll take time, you won't win right away
But I promise you, that's perfectly okay
ENOUGH is ENOUGH! I can only handle so much doubt
& those flower petals obviously weren't working out
Wishful thinking wasted your days sitting in the hills
Opportunities missed on new & exciting thrills

ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION???!!
I don't repeat, not a second time will I ever mention
Therefore, PLEASE NO repetitive silly little rhymes
RELAX!! Go with the flow, enjoy all the good times!!
Pulling petals won't help you find love
You'd have better luck wishing on the stars above
All you really need is to just believe & trust in fate
In no time....no time at all...in front of your face, YOUR SOULMATE!!
You're FINALLY starting to feel complete
Just imagine if you chose NOT to move your feet
Petals falling, flowers dying if you had stayed instead
& if you had ignored everything I just ******* said
You'd be left incomplete & wandering
With only the nothingness left & slowly your soul begins crumbling
So whatever you do or don't do
The choice is always up to you!!

Chilling with my crew
doing what we do
drinking some brew
not too many, just a few

We are in the bay tonight
The weather is just right
No ******* trying to fight
friends got their pipe, trees & a light

Happy girl right here
Thinking of someone makes me smile ear to ear
So get me a beer
Raise your glass & cheer

Here I am back at it once more
So many thoughts & random words then before
Piles of crumpled paper litter the floor
DO NOT DISTURB sign hanging on my door
To my notebooks I am a slave
Their pages filled with thoughts I must forever save
There are memories of dancing at a rave
& times when my friends & I would misbehave
Pages & pages of things I am not sure if I wish to be told
While other pages, stories begin to unfold
All the memories & thoughts throughout my years, is what each notebook forever will hold
Time carries on & I'll share the stories those pages contain when I'm old
But for now I guard them with my life & hold them tight
I have to keep them tucked away out of sight
I'm not quite ready to share all the things I write
Or explain reasons why I'm awake all night
So I'll continue to disappear into my room & hide
It is to my notebooks I truly do confide
The pages always catch my tears, after moments I've broken down & cried
They've helped me deal with people I trusted but then they lied
Most of all, made me realize you can't save them all, no matter how hard you tried
It's like a therapy session with no therapist
Expressing onto paper instead of using my fists
Pages collect the issues & not a single one is missed
That's why I have peace within & always happy..... To me it's pointless to be or stay ******!!

As I sit here & look back
I should've walked out that door
Instead I stayed & slowly began to crack
In reality I need & deserve more
Month after month, hour after hour
It was my heart I let you devour
As you swept me off my feet
It didn't feel like a game
You fooled me being so sweet
My heart took the blow & you're to blame
I made such a huge mistake
I wonder if this was a devious plan
To see how long I'd stay & all the ******* I'd take
You were good at pretending to give a ****
I'll give credit when credit is due
You managed to pollute my head with fake love, I had no clue
I'm glad it finally ended
A relationship not worth repair
& over time my heart has mended
You're not even a friend, but you don't care
SO THIS IS TO YOU:
We are definitely, definitely THROUGH!

Rolled money, old cards, empty bags tucked away in those
certain drawers
We'd P.A.T.T hard behind closed & locked doors
Party favors kept hidden during the day
& at night brought out to play
Soon as we started, it's one after other
Something I'll never share with my mother
Bits & pieces I might tell
Never the whole story, unless I want to hear her yell
Carrying on into the night
Our secrets kept well out of sight
Morning comes & off to work we go
No matter how ****** we felt, we'd always show
Can't let the habit take control
Even though our bodies were paying the toll
It was a decision we decided to make
A risk we were willing to take
Looking back on all those times
It helps me now, write some pretty awesome rhymes
Although we don't do that anymore
Since it doesn't make us feel like before
Plus I don't like repeating the past
But we did find some peace & we enjoy how long that tends to last
We have so many laughs & never ending fun
&& just to think it is only just begun

Every night as I lay here in my bed
Attempting to sleep with my eyes tightly shut, although they seem open instead
There's too much chatter going on in my head
I feel out of my mind & yet I'm trapped inside
I'm searching for the chatters end but it's hopeless because that I'll never find
It just never quits & that's what drives me so mad, I just want to shout
"Ahhhhh!!!! LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT!!"
But why bother, that never seems to work
So inside here forever stuck, I'll aimlessly lurk
Peaces out & you couldn't even tell
Only because I've perfected disguising it so well
Yes, I'm sure by now I've got you slightly concerned if I'm sane
But only I know that & that's now my secret it'll remain
So just ignore my pointless rambles & confusing rhymes
They'll just get more twisted by the time I've finished all the lines
Only a few will get the well hidden but true meaning & understand
That's exactly how I like it & just what I planned
Still, you think you get what I'm saying or what I wrote
But that's like a boat with a huge hole claiming it can float
You're just pretending to know
In reality, you don't though!!! ;)

Here I am again, at the point of no return
I never do seem to learn
.....man oh man do my eyes burn
Another day watching the sunrise
But to me it's no surprise
How fast the hours pass through the night
& I'm just fine with that, no reason to put up a fight
I'm sure others don't think it's right
& it's just a big mistake
That I choose to stay awake
But that's a risk I'm willing to take
So for goodness sake
Give me a ******* break
Not the same you & me
My eyes look beyond what yours see
My soul is peaceful & free
Unlike you, I know how to JUST BE...

They may think I'm not over you
because of this I write,
but trust me when I say I'm through
there wouldn't be anything you could say or do
I'll admit I'm a little bit bitter
BUT WHAT THE ****!!!, you're just a QUITTER
It's like your new jacket is missing the zipper
just like how you expected it to be there
I expected you to show me you still care
but instead I got derailed & thrown off track
blaming me for things YOU  really lack
& letting what we had slip through the crack
I will never ever come back
our break was my cue
I tried as hard as I could using all my might
but even still nothing I did was right
When little things began to spark a fight
We'd argue until each of our faces were blue
the relationship slowly tearing at the seam
we were no longer a team
but you pretended to have no clue
that's the moment I knew my worst fear was about to come true
the end to our seven years was near in sight
nothing could fix us not nails nor glue
I just need to let go & walk away, it's long overdue
this is the beginning to something new
my heart will heal over time
& loving you wasn't a crime
but being blinded by love only myself I can blame
I lost who I was along the way
I learned from it & I have no shame
but there is one more thing I'd like to say
I may have been your first
but I will never be your last
I'd rather live forever cursed then repeat the past...

Are the words in your head worthy of being written?
&& if they were read out loud would anyone care to listen?
OR should you just leave them unsaid
so they never get the chance to spread?
Thoughts & pure randomness pours
of all my risks I've taken opening new doors
experiences I'll never forget or regret
all the good times I've had & new faces I've met
So much fun I've had so far
from road trips to L.A. or nights out at the bar
my life keeps getting better as I go
So I'll continue to just go with the flow
HAPPINESS is what you make it
be optimistic &  don't throw a fit
DON'T be afraid to take a chance
& ALWAYS make time to DANCE
LAUGH a LOT & smile often
you have the courage to do anything
as long as it's yourself you believe in!

There we go again me & my pen
teaming up together real late at night
deciding on how these thoughts I should write
the ink begins to leak just a little
as it slowly starts to trickle
out sentence after sentence I begin to scribble
Scratching words out & writing different ones
only to scratch out that & back to the original it goes
it just fit there better
& hopefully I don't forget a letter
it's just a rough draft, so whatever

Which story shall I expose
So everyone who reads this knows
how my life truly goes
it's better that all those reality shows
There's no directors or cameras that follow me
Although, if that was true, they'd have some great footage to look through
because there's just about nothing I don't do....
From late nights to road trips to see the other half of our crew
Memories we definitely make & not a **** thing we do, we fake
We give it 100 & not a single break
We never think twice & don't believe it't any kind of mistake

So my pen is excited every time I pick it up
it can't wait to write my latest story & who I attempted to corrupt
as it flows through my pages
telling about all the ages
& my crazy peace signing rampages
honestly me & my loves belong on movie stages
but that's just a thought I wanted to share, until it all changes
then my life will be up for some big rearranges

You won't ever truly, truly understand my stories you see
You can say you completely understand them but that's a lie, since you are not me
So I definitely know that can't be
my experiences only are understood by a few
the ones who were there with me & did it too
They know what we've been through
the memories we make, bring us together, you have no clue
the best of friends forever, tight together, a special bond, stronger then any glue
all because of trust & fun, plus all the **** we've done & STILL have to do
No one will ever change that, not even YOU!

So let my pen do it's work
& don't be a total ****
because when it's done, it's the notebook pages your eyes will lurk

For that split second I'll let you in my head
& you can see what I do & why I stay up instead
Now can you see why I don't always go to bed
So hopefully everyone will enjoy what they've read
& always remember me when I'm dead.....
Promise me, NOT ONE tear will be shed
just remember me for the words I said
& how I was such a great friend...
I did live happily ever after & have reached my end..

Eventually I will but right now I am just writing as if it has been years & years ahead
so just pretend
&  your imagination, for a moment, to me will you lend
If you want to make  sense out of my words, it is something I do highly recommend

Who am I?
I am me, who else would I be?!?
Not Tinkerbell or Repunzelle with the long, long hair
Nor Peter Pan in Never-Never land without a care
I am just ME
Happy little ME
What did you say??
OF COURSE I am ME every day!
There's no other way!
I don't want to be anyone else but ME
& that's who I am
...WHAT!!?? NO, I am not a Pam or a Tam
I am CERTAINLY not a SAM!
I told you already who I am!!
I am ME!! I am ME!!
Who sometimes climbs a tree..
Who sometimes lays by the sea...
But no matter where I go
There's something you should know
I am always ME!!
Change!? Not never no how will that ever happen,
It just simply won't be...
I love being little ME
Why wouldn't I be, I'm the coolest ME there will ever be!!
You just watch & see....
I am who I am & I am ME
That's truer than true
Just as much as you are you
& there's nothing you can do!!!

It never seems to fail every single morning..
I'm suddenly attacked without warning
& after so long you'd think I would expect it by now
But of course I always forget somehow
What's even worse is there's more than one of them
Like thorns on a rose stem
They're little ******
Playing ***** tricks
& known for ruining a perfect time
Eerie silence, not a sound, like a mime
Eliminating countless hours of your precious sleep
they will always be on the creep
hiding behind & in between
trying to remain unseen
there a well camouflaged army
& will gladly put an end to any party
have you figured out their identity yet?
at one point, I'm positive you have had the pleasure to meet
An unusual type of criminal
committing crimes that were quite predictable
like catching fish with a hook & bait
....they're always on time, not a second late
Soooooo..... do you think you can guess?
Or are you still clueless?
Here us what I'll do
I'll give you a few bits for a little clue
It comes down from the sky
Stare too long & you'll begin to cry
It can make you sneeze
Nutrients it brings tothe plants & the trees
In the wind it can make it warm
& always brings joy & peace after a storm
Sometimes it requires dark glasses to see
it can cause uncontrollable giggles & cheerful glee
Ok I guess I can tell you now...
Relax geeeeez, don't have a cow!!!
Last clue I'm going to say
NO MATTER WHAT, it'll NEVER go away
Only will it temporarily disappear at night
It's the bright rays of suns light!!!
**** IT! Who let sun in?!
being awake this early should be a sin
One morning could you just gimme a break???
....for goodness sake!!
Well I guess I'll get outta bed
I tried to argue & my case was plead
I did my best
To redeem my rest
Simply there just isn't much else left
I've been a victim of sleep theft!!!

Writer's block......****!!!
I hate it when I'm stuck
I'm constantly in a fight
with the words I'm attempting to write
it's hard to explain
the words are all there in my brain
it sounds great inside my head
but on my paper still nothing is said
I'm in a war with what I've wrote
&  it's far from legible, even worse than a doctors note
Wasted ink & crossed out lines clutter my pages
& I'm only in the beginning stages
all my writing looks like this until it's done
Sloppy is way more fun
neatness is unheard of by those who write an awful lot
The top of their concerns it is definitely not!
so when something just needs to be replaced
scribbles & scratches & now the old is erased
must be just right practically flawless, after all it is my insides revealing
& to the world I'm expressing all that I'm feeling
writing is my way to release
Keeping my mind, body, & soul at peace
temporarily escaping from reality
To clear & free my mentality
free of judgement I'm able to openly express
any & everything that may be causing me stress
you need to recognize it, take care of it, & set it FREE!!
You will feel better when you move on & let it be
there's no time to sit & reflect on it while you dwell
you're not a ******* hermit crab who refuses to leave his shell!!
by now the hours have passed on the clock
I finally got rid of my writer's block
As sunlight greets me through my
window
remaining raindrops create a little rainbow
I knew it then
That I ******* did it again!!
My **** sleep been forgotten
Surprisingly this happens quite often
So as I watch the morning sky get brighter & brighter
I have not a single doubt that I'll forever be a late night writer
It's something I could never quit
Without my notebooks and pens my life I couldn't imagine it!

This world we live in
OH BOY, where do I begin?
I can't believe people actually live this way
So disrespectful, rude & inconsiderate
Some are so quick to hate
Pointing their fingers at others to blame
With not even having the smallest ounce of shame
Being sneaky & spiteful
Plotting multiple ways to be vengeful
Others are defeated by words & actions of their rival
& become desperately suicidal
In their mind they can't do anything right
Living their life just isn't worth the fight
Their eyes have run dry
No more tears to even attempt to cry
Emotionless, another day they've managed to complete
Smiles faked for those they greet
Most hide their sadness very well
Even their loved ones couldn't tell
Silently disappearing into the background
& before you realize it, they no longer are around
So don't be blind to your words & how you act
You never know who you will impact
& ignore all these idiots
Who can talk trash but can't take it dished back, ******* hypocrites!!
But remember this too, it's just as important
Giving smiles & cheer in a large abundant
ISN'T always a person being fake
They just appreciate life & each breath they take
The best way to keep your soul at peace & balance
.....DON'T judge someone at first glance
There's always more than what you know
Types still exists, even if right away they don't show
It's not always about how you look
Like a missing cover on a book
You shouldn't assume it's trash & throw it away since it's worn
Like a person who's genuinely happy even if their clothes are torn
Stop being ruthless jerks!!
It's NOT how this world works!!

I'm just a writer who loves to write
anytime anyplace, maybe day but mostly night
each page you turn & every word you've read
that's what's being shouted in my head
the voices never stop the chattering
but the sound of silence is heart shattering
my ideas & thoughts have a life of their own
so really I'm never actually alone
this notebook is my imagination flowing free
because after all that's how I like it to be
just going with my creative flow
Excitement is not knowing where itll go!!