And yet despite the reciprocities of man, we are still at war.
Not at war with other nations,
Not at war with our governments,
Not at war with our neighbors,
But at war with ourselves.
The war that never ends is the war that is fought inside ourselves.
We all know that this is something that exists,
We all know that this is something that shouldn’t change,
We all know that sometimes war is too great for ourselves and we seek help.
But the war is something that we all agree should remain.
Why I ask of you,
Why must this war remain?  
Is it so that we can constantly better ourselves through repeated questioning?
Is it so we can work to create turmoil in our minds in which we must struggle through?
Or is it so we have a reason to perpetually push ourselves to improve so that we may reach a certain goal?
This is an answer that will forever remain for it is different for the individual.
But it is my belief that thanks to these inner wars, we may improve as a society, no, more so improve as a species.
Through self improvement, through self turmoil, through self questioning, we may force ourselves to change, to become the person or entity in which we wish to become,
And if everyone was able to achieve this goal,
Either it be through our own desires, or the desires of our circumstance,
We can improve others, thanks to the experience one gains, and due to the natural human desire for social contact.
But not all inner wars lead to this outcome,
Many of them lead to selfishness, entitlement, or even apathy for their fellow people.
Saying that we should leave behind our earthly values, or a physical addiction is not what I’m implying here.
I believe that we are all allowed to have some selfishness, some amount of self entitlement, and even a small amount of apathy for people.
We do not need to feel empathy for the people who have wronged us, but we shouldn’t ignore the reasoning for them doing so, we can learn from their mistakes and teach it to others.
Being too selfless leads to self destruction due to giving too much of yourself away for the sake of others, this leads to a mind that will sooner than later crumble under the stress of pleasing those around them, and even sooner a body that will start to fall apart from beneath them.
A small amount of self entitlement leads to knowing one's self worth, if you have no entitlement then you lead to being too selfless, and leads you to become used by those around you.
How?
By allowing yourself to do the tasks or the jobs that nobody else wishes to do, yes it's good that someone does those things, but letting someone do it for too long and their mind too will lower itself to the trash tasks and will become trash itself due to repeated exposure.
The inner war that we all face, that we all have, and that we can all see,
It should be discussed,
It should be allowed to be seen by others,
It should be a way for self improvement.
It should always remain.

A child looks onward as the grown-ups go on,
He sees the corruption in the world, and yet does nothing about it
The Grown-ups so diluted with their dreams of their child's future,
Forget to see the person he is now,
But he pays no mind, he has his own world,
A world in which he himself is in control, where he determines the outcomes,
He grows and grows, and soon he too is stuck focusing on his childs future,
Failing to see,
That he too is a grown-up now

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM,
Do you really think that someone like YOU could manage to **** ME,
I have been through things that you will never know,
I have done things, UNSPEAKABLE THINGS, To ensure the safety and the growth of the next generation,
I have sat on the side lines, JUST to watch my comrades, MY friends, MY FAMILY die and retire to their normal lives,
JUST SO THAT PEOPLE LIKE YOU, COULD strengthen their resolve, SO that you may push them to defeat you by THEIR RULES...
BUT GUESS WHAT?
I don't abide by your rules,
I left so that I can be their villain, their antagonist, Their DRIVING FORCE,
I have seen one generation grow into the people that you want them to be, and that's one generation to much,
YOU DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE THEM FOLLOW IN YOUR STEPS,
YOU Don't deserve to be your so called HERO,
It's your fault that this war has gone on this long,
That this war has influenced the lives of us first Gens,
That this war has effected timelines where I get to grow up happy,
NO,
Timelines that are pedestrians to your little spat with yourself,
Do you know what it's like to be ME,
I have lived so many lives, That your entire existence doesn't come close to meeting mine in experience,
I Have gone through so many of your "Trails" just so that I could become what YOU wanted me to be,
And yet here we are,
Me standing against the old man once more,
The man who put me through so much,
The man who Exiled me so many times,
The man who forced me to relieve the same sadness, the same sorrow, not because you wanted me to fix others, but to ensure that I had the strength to break them, the strength to tackle every challenge in my path, THE STRENGTH TO HURT THOSE THAT I LOVED MOST....
You know what it's like to go through this, and yet you made me,
No,
You're making her go through this life, no this same torture, just so that you can win, so that your "order" can continue, and others will be called to this battle....
I've lived my life doing this,
I've lived my lives doing this,
I have given my life to save them,
I may hate your order,
I may hate how you do things,
But I dam well care about all those kids that you're training,
The 3rd Generation will not go through the same thing that I have, that WE have.
I will ensure that,
I WILL PROMISE YOU THAT,
I may have allowed you to live in the past, but that doesn't exlude you from your duty,
You will protect these kids, I will protect these kids,
But more importantly,
I will LIVE so that these kids can have a future where they get to retire and live a normal life.
As the last remaining first Gen, I swear to you,
I SWEAR TO ALL OF YOU WATCHING,
That by my name,
I will Live,
I will keep getting back up,
I will keep moving forward,
I change the outcome that I have seen.
So I ask you once more,
WHO DO YOU THINK I AM,
I'LL TELL YOU WHO!!
I am Exilus,
The Nexes Reformed,  
The last remaining First generational child.
And these timelines, these lives,
Are under my protection.
And I just stalled you long enough to get my Limiter off."

Why do we exist to merely die in the end?
What is the point in simply changing our way's of communication?
Why must we feel pain before we can feel whole?
There are no answers to these and yet,
We all have our answers to each question.
Each answer either being chosen for us by written scripture of the past,
Or by our own past experiences,
But one thing is for certain,
The only answers that we can get to these questions,
Are from our own past's.
The past does influence our future,
Yet our future is what alters our past,
It blinds us into thinking that we were someone we were not,
It binds us to think we have changed,
When in reality,
The truth to all of this,
Is that it doesn't matter.

Hope is a fictitious dream that mankind created when all everything seemed to be going downhill for them,
Just because we hide behind our "hope" doesn't mean that we have given up,
It simply means that we are believing in a lie instead of believing in our demise.
The goal of getting back up isn't to over come the obstacle,
It's to overcome our past self, the self that we know cannot continue in that same path.
It's why people change, why we struggle in life
And more importantly why we as a people would rather believe in a lie than in our past self.

Gotta spend money to enjoy the things i like in this world,
it's the sad fact of life now-adays, gotta have money so you can enjoy things due to the greed that has been created by man, superficial value is praised more among-st the mortals of Earth and people will do nearly anything in order to gain it, from robbing a convince store, to giving their body and soul to a company. A greed created through generations upon generations from the original foundation of being able to have a common way of trading, but now a thing that consumes the minds of many,
I know this fact, and yet I pursue monetary gain in order to enjoy the time with friends and the time I have by myself, but I must keep in mind these facts and not allow myself to be swallowed in despair and fear for the future that will be created  by this form of greed. Depression, anxiety, and fear created from this greed is a bottomless black hole that swallows many in my generation, most with the thoughts that there is no-way out nor a way for them to properly gain this within an instant, therefore demand immediate change to this, but without the after-thought of the affects, yes inflation will occur more-so now than in the past 30 years, but the fact that it will impact many of the small business and those who support them, in the end these small business will be swallowed up by the darkness of greed and will be forced to sell out to the larger and less competent corporations. Once again starting the despair in other generations, and re-starting the path of greed from monetary value.

He stands there, staring at the beauty in front of him
The girl with the blue hair, the one from his dream,
He’s afraid of what she would say if he approached her,
Days turn into months, months turn into years,
Thanks to the fear he had witnessed in his mind, he had moved on,
He sits alone, another day passing by, the girl approaches him and talks,
And talks,
And talks,
The fear begins to lessen inside him, and he remembers why he liked her,
Hours turn into days, days turn into months,
Finally, signs appear to him, throughout the radios, and songs that would randomly play,
He pushes his fear aside, he gets the courage,
He does what he had wanted,
He asks her,
And waits, and waits, and waits for a response
Finally hours after asking, he gets a message in the form of dots and dashes,
The fear returns,
He decodes, and decodes,
The more he decodes what she said,
The more the fear leaves,
In the end,
She said yes,
The fear he once had, the fear that kept him down,
Finally left his body, and he became courageous,
And realized that fear is nothing but negative emotions,
Those negative emotions,
Have now become his courage.

Sometimes, you just have to put words down before you can organize them,
Sometimes you have to say random words in order to form a thought,
Sometimes, you have to watch to think,
Sometimes, you have to "just do it" before you can give an opinion,
But always, be yourself, your own person, your own personality.

"The wise are often deemed stupid to the society that follows the norms that were created before thier time, those who think that they know everything deem themselves as wise, when in all actuality, they are the ones who must be reminded of what they already know. The closed mind of the self deemed wise of this world is a plague that spreads from person to person, generation to generation, from grave to grave. There is no such thing as those who are wise, for we all have to be reminded of something.

As humans, what do we truly want?
To be Strong?
To support the weak?
To accomplish what we set out to do?
Or is it a simple answer such as
"To never be alone?"

The black and white swirls that I saw changed my life.
Waking up everyday to watch something funny gave me a reason to keep going.
It gave me a reason to keep taking steps toward my own self happiness,
But now that your gone,
I'm lost,
But I'm not afraid,
I'm not afraid to wake up and take a step,
Not afraid to listen to my own clock,
Not afraid of the inevitability of death,
I have the strength to keep going, even after your passing,
Others feel the same way, and have tried to cling on to the videos, I admit. I have some downloaded, but I am deleting them now,
Because I don't have to cling to the past to proceed forward,
So as I hit delete on these memories,
I sit and cry,
With a smile on my face,
So thank you,
For everything

Through life's toughest moment's, fantasy characters show more strength and durability than many of the people who watch and strive to be like them.
Now that's not a bad thing, in-fact it's an incredible thing to do. To better yourself to become better. But lot's of people lose motivation to keep pushing themselves. Something that the Channel Unnus Annus taught me, was that you only have a limited time to live and that death happens sooner than later.
So why must we strive to become something that we idol?
Why must people break down who they are and mold them into something that they see all the time.
Why waste the time changing who you are entirely and make yourself into some sort of Hero or perfect citizen when in the end most people will give up and end up in a worse situation (either mentally or physically) than they were before trying to be some-one else?
Don't live trying to be like someone else. I'm not saying to simply stop idolizing people or trying to be similar to them.
In-fact, what I'm saying is,
Try to be something better than what you are now, try to live like your next day is another day isn't your last, but instead, another day to learn from those idol's.
Push yourself to become better than those idol's, push yourself to become the person that YOU want to be, not a person that already exists in the mind of one other person (the creator).
Cause in the end, if you try to be just like your idol, you'll either achieve this and become someone different entirely, or you'll end up worse off than you were originally.
Many people don't know where to start, and everybody will have a different answer as to where. "Start on what you hate, work on your emotions, or start on your body". But to people who are lost in their journey, this won't always help, in-fact, it can push them further back past where they started. That person must discover their own path, their own journey.
All that matters, is that you're at the very least starting
With a simple step.

Jot Jot Jot,
I continue to write with dots,
The Jots, Dots, and thoughts are my own,
I'm the writer who once lost control of the Jots and Dots,
But also the writer,
Who learned to control his Jots and his Dots.

We are all given an illusion,
An illusion that has been forced upon us since the moment that we are born,
But this illusion is only an illusion because it was shown to us as such,
We are told that we are free to chose who we become, what we want, and what to do,
But by telling us this, they are taking that freedom away.
Freedom isn't something that can be told, or shown,
It's something that can't be taught, at least, not in the way's that we think.
It's something that is self taught,
Something that we must see, feel, and touch for ourselves,
People speak of freedom as though they have it themselves,
But by saying that they have it,
They are giving it up,
Freedom comes and goes just like the waves of an ocean.
We ourselves are an ocean, and ocean that can be free if we learn how to without having it.
It doesn't make sense now,
nor will it possibly ever make sense,
But freedom isn't a thing, place, or person.
It's just freedom,
And nothing else.

I believe that there is someone for everyone,
But it's keeping that someone that is hard,
Stay conscious about them,
Communicate with them,
Think of them first, and sometimes second,
Enjoy your time with them,
Don't push your negativity on them unless welcomed too,
These are simple things that many aren't able to do nowadays,
I've seen it everywhere,
I've done it before,
Simple things have a large outcome and effect on yourself and others,
Remember the simple things.
And always remember.
There is somebody for you,
You just have to work for it,
Work, to keep them in your life.

Here I am,
Writing once more,
Writing once more not for the same reason as the last,
Or the first,
Or for the times in-between,
But writing for myself,
Writing for the person I want to become,
Writing for the purpose to teach,
Writing once more,
As a different person than I was so long ago.

There once was a boy who had it all in his eyes,
A loving and caring Girlfriend, A best friend who would always hear him out and help whenever she was needed, a part-time job that he loved, and a friend who would always discuss strange and interesting topics.
In his eyes, he had it all, and in a matter of a year, he lost it all.
His girlfriend left him for another man and in the same time frame that they had dated, she ended up married to that man,
A best friend that he took for granted and hurt in more ways than one and never speaks or hears from,
A friend who is now thousands of miles away and barley speaks to anymore thanks to his job,
And a job that he quit in order to pursue what he thought was right.
But how did it come to this? It's simple, he lost sight of who he once was and in-turn pushed those people away.
He became over-needy with his girlfriend, afraid that she was constantly cheating and did things without telling her, his anger started to show more often when he was with her due to drama that was out of his control, which caused her to leave when he needed her most,
He hurt his best friend by having feelings for her, he never thought about how she felt, and in turn caused her a summer of pain and hurt.
He also hurt her more by getting into a relationship with her after his last one and would make constant remarks about how he wished he was with his ex while with her, which pushed her and pained her to hear.
He lost his friend because he never discussed his problems with him and pushed him away in fear that he would hurt him to.
He quit his job because he felt that the next part of his life would be a changing point, good news is, it was...but only for a short time
In that short time he slowly got better, slowly made more friends, slowly got over his ex, slowly stopped with his vape, got rid of his steel friend that caused him to bleed red and slowly worked on bettering himself,
But that short freedom came to a holt when he was forced back into his old life, his old environment, and his old room, a room filled with painful memories, filled with the sadness and dis-spare that never left.
And now, there's more drama that's in his life, not from his own actions, but from the actions of others, actions that cannot be undone, actions that affect him nearly every day of his life.
Now, he doesn't have that freedom he once did and more importantly, he doesn't have anything, not anymore,
Sure, he has "friends" , he has a place to survive, but those friends don't listen to his problems, they don't ask whats wrong, they don't feel the need to help thanks to the facade that he has put up, a facade that is needed in order to not push them away.
His only real friends now....
are the vape in his hands, the sadness and the nostalgia in his head, and the exhaustion that he feels on a daily basis.
But he keeps on going, believing that there has to be a light at the end of this never ending tunnel he has placed himself in, believing that there has to be more to the story, more good that has to come...but he gets more and more tired as the days pass.
Don't be like me,
Don't take things for granted, don't lose sight of who you want to be, don't ignore the pain of others, don't get placed in an environment that you'll fail in and if you do, look for the positives there, and more importantly, don't let your feelings control every action you take, there are times where emotion is necessary, and times where it's not.
Keep going, keep swimming in your own sea, keep walking in your tunnel, and when the monsters of your past re-appear, don't let them swallow you whole, but don't ignore them, simply wave and keep going towards the end of your path.
It's easy to say this stuff, but executing it is a whole other matter, always remember that.
but more importantly,
D O N ' T  M A K E  T H E  S A M E  M I S T A K E ' S  A S  me.

We're not just made of love,
We're not just made of despair,
You're not just one broken piece,
You're a unique person,
Made up of multiple pieces,
It's just that, sometimes. Our pieces are put together wrong by others, or by yourself,
But that's okay,
Because we can change the pattern of our pieces, we can change who we are, for the better,
Or for the worse.
It's simply up to you,
On how you change your pieces

The future shapes the past,
Through the memories of ourself.

The nights are as young as we are,
The days, are as long as our nightmares,
Our dreams are short,
But long during,
To compare ourselves with others,
Is like comparing our nightmares,
They'll never be the same,
For one person's nightmares,
Are another's day dream.

Dot Dot Dot,
I write again with Dots,
Dot Dot Dot,
The Dot's form a shape,
Dot Dot Dot,
They form the shape of your face,
Dot Dot Dot,
I thought I moved away from your Dots,
Dot Dot Dot,
They continue to show me your face,
Dot Dot Dot,
The Dots still haunt me in my dreams,
Dot Dot Dot,
Leave me alone, I've moved on.

I see it in my mind,
I hear it in my thoughts,
I feel it in my dreams,
I'm bringing myself down once more,
Once more into the rabbit hole of nostalgia,
Once more into the pain,
Once more into the sadness that I brought upon myself,
Once more into the sea that I call emotion,
This time is different though,
This time I know,
This time I'm aware,
This time I'm prepared,
I clench my heart and take a step,
Once more into the sea of red.

The pain never truly leaves,
It remains like a monster,
A monster filled with guilt and anger,
One that resides in the back of our mind,
Ready to pounce at the most opportune time,
But unbeknownst to us all,
They don't always want to harm,
They don't always want to cause sadness,
Sometimes, they just want to remind us,
They harm us to ensure, that we can feel better later,
Sometimes, we become our monster,
But that doesn't need to be the case,
You don't beed to always be afraid, or to become friends,
All we need to do,
Is acknowledge our monsters,
And thank then for showing us,
That we can have good times.

How can you be hopeful when your always surrounded by others sadness?
How can you help those who first need to help themselves?
How can you continue to progress in life when everyone around you stays put?
What can you do, when your working on yourself?
How can you bring others with you in life?
How can you let go of those you care about?
Sometimes, the simple answer is the best answer for you,
You say ***** it,
And go off on your own.

Here we are, at the edge of our hearts, singing, dancing and playing.
I know I want you to come with me,
And I'll take you there.
You only have to take my hand and follow along.
"I'll follow you to the end, come and stay.
I'll be there,
Waiting until the time for us to be together,
And if you don't want me to come around,"
Then I'll take the rains and lead you, to my heart
"I'll be waiting around for you
And if I'm not there, I'll be there, I'll be there
Waiting, for the day I see your smile."

You can't force the words out,
Can't force yourself to write it out,
Shouldn't force yourself to put thoughts to words,
Tis why actions speak louder,
You don't always need to say,
You don't always have to do,
You don't always need to say sorry,
Show your thoughts with your actions,
Show your feelings through who you are.

The body of knowledge is vast,
Just like our spirits,
But the closeness of our hearts,
Is more significant,
Than any sea of thought.

When the leader fails at their job,
The people become angry,
When the leader makes a difficult choice,
The people decide that it was wrong,
When the leader gives it their all,
The people are filled with spite,
In the end,
The leader can't please everyone.

Once the leader is gone,
His people will run amok,
Once the leader fails,
His people will point it out,
Once the leader falls,
Another will take his place.

Life is like climbing a glacier,
A glacier that always fights back,
Pushing you down,
Beneath the waves at the bottom.
The longer you're under,
The more your affected,
You gotta keep climbing,
Otherwise,
Your last breath,
Will be beneath the waves.

We all have chains,
Chains that bind us to different things,
For some,
That involves being chained to other people,
For others,
It involves being chained to your emotions,
For me,
It was being chained to those who were close,
But that’s okay,
Because over time,
I broke those chains, and moved forward,
So can you,
You can break your chains,
Either it be through the rust of time,
Or through the constant pounding of breaking it,
And once you break your chains,
You too can move forward with your life.

Some days, you'll just sit there,
Some days, you'll just lay there,
Some days, we just listen to ourselves,
Some days, we just talk to ourselves,
Other days, you have the motivation to work on you projects,
Other days, you read to you'r hearts content,
Other days, we play till our brains are done,
Other days, we type out our thoughts.
And
Every day, we think of what to do next.

Not every day needs to have a significant other,
You don't always need to have a good week,
You don't always need to have outside support,
You don't always need to walk with others,
It's okay to be alone for a while,
It's okay to feel pain,
It's not okay to pretend that pain doesn't exist,
It's not okay to hide your emotions,
It's okay to stay true to your emotions
But always remember,
You can win on your own,
You can help yourself become better,
You can succeed where others have failed,
You just need to realize,
That life can get rough,
And it's up to you on how you handle it yourself.

The outline of our life,
Isn't so straight forward,
As we thought,
There's many twists, bends, and scribbles, that gets added,
It's always changing,
Never straight forward,
Just like it should be.

They say that the eyes are window's into the soul,
They say that our soul is eternal,
They say that the soul is necessary to live,
Does that mean when we cry, the windows open?
Does that mean we cry our soul away,
Crying our life away to a world that doesn't care?
Who knows.

The body of knowledge is vast,
Just like our spirits,
But the closeness of our hearts,
Is more significant,
Than any sea of thought.

These Tears plug my ears,
These Tears cover my sight,
These Tears stop my breath,
and yet,
These Tears flow with my fear,
These Tears clear the dark away,
These Tears,
Make me smile anyway.

Shuffling through the papers,
Watching the inked pages move,
Seeing the past words,
I see who I was,
It gives me a glimpse of my starting point,
It gives me an idea of who've I become,
And it gives me a thought,
A thought that scares me,
The thought,
Of who I might become.

Lies are told everywhere you go,
Truths are hidden,
Even in the nicest of people,
They start the lie, by saying some truths,
To find the whats right,
Isn't always right,
Sometimes,
Lies are said to protect the weak,
And to the strongest,
It makes them weak,
So how do you know to tell truths from lies?
The answer is simple,
You don't.

It's been a year since then,
A year filled with worry,
8 Months of happiness,
6 months of being lost,
4 months of being cut off,
2 months of finding myself,
2 weeks since I got better,
1 day since you haven't been in my head,
Time passes, the world moves, and you move on.
20 seconds since I started this,
10 seconds since I started thinking,
5 seconds since I did something useful,
Now,
I continue.

Jot, Jot, Jot,
The pen skids across the paper,
The ink leaving behind a trail of black that forms thoughts,
Jot, Jot, Jot,
Thoughts form the story,
The story shows the past,
Of the teenage poet,
The poet, who is in constant pain.

The fields of gray,
Have the sent of ash,
A sky of black,
Grass of pouder,
And, a tree of red,
Standing in the middle of the field,
With a dull light radiating off it,
With pink leaves falling off into the wind,
Its a depressing sight to many onlookers,
But not to me,
To me, it's a sight that fills me with hope,
Hope that can outshine even the grayest of times.

Pondered thoughts,
Squandered memories,
Unanswered questions,
Scattered hopes,
These things we have in common,
Are also the factors in which we are different,
We are different, yet similar,
Smart,
Yet dumb,
A lover,
Yet an abandon-er,
A reader,
And a writer,
Lost,
and yet,
Found

We sit and ponder the questions we make,
We expect other to give an answer when asked,
Yet we get no response,
No response....no answer....,
Yet we know the answer,
It's always been there,
We just refuse to accept it,
Refuse to hear it,
Because it hurts to much,
and there's nothing we can do to change it,
Nothing we can do to fix it,
and nothing that will ever help you face it.

Wondering threw the dark,
I notice how alone we all are,
How sad we must all feel in this darkness,
How angry we must all seem to be at ourselves,
So sad, angry, and alone,
You probably feel like all is lost,
Or there is nothing left for you,
But like a wise man once said,
"You can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel,
But if you keep moving, You will come to a better place"
You gotta keep going,
Even through,
The darkest tunnels.

I sit and watch,
The desolation of the land,
The barriers that form between groups,
The greed grow with'n the powerful,
The poor being ignored
The strong feared being fear,
The rights being stripped away from us,
Our lives being dictated by the few,
Our brains being indoctrinated to conform,
The people, turned machine,
Our wants, our needs, and our dreams,
Being ignored,
But that's okay,
Because we will rise against and think for ourselves,
We will break the pattern that has been created in our lives,
We will fight back and create peace,
But peace,
Can only be obtained threw peace,
Not threw violence, nor bloodshed, nor hate,
But by uniting as one,
Right?
Right?
......right?

We sit by ourselves,
Staring at what we had done,
While the red sea below us grow's evermore,
We say that it's all our fault,
We say that there's nothing left,
Yet we continue to live,
And increase the size of which the sea grows,
And continue to drown ourselves,
In what we call,
The sea of blood.

I'd be dead without you,
Your the only one who knows that,
And the only one who doesn't remember,
If it weren't for you, then I wouldn't be who I am now,
If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have known happiness,
If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have been able to make it this far,
If it weren't for me,
You would have been with him sooner

I cry everynight about you,
But only if I'm not tasting butterscotch mint,
I see you in my head,
But only when I'm asleep,
Your like a never-ending nightmare,
But also a never ending dream,
And now you've pushed me away,
Just like you should have,
Because with me around,
I'm really the one bringing you down.

The thoughts of you pop into my head so much,
I dont know why, or how, or even,
If you feel the same about me,
But in reality,
It was best for you for me to push you away,
I was never your number one,
Never your goto,
We might have been together,
But that was because I was the last one,
You say otherwise, you try to show me too,
But in trying to show, you also show the truth,
It was never about me,
Just about you....