She was crawling inside her little world, hoping to hide
Her world and her emotions would turn on a dime
She tried again time after time
Hoping to find away across the widening divide
Over the knife sharp rocks of her life, she couldn't climb
It was her scars that cry, she was nothing more than a mime
Being thrown again into the abyss, it was all war crimes
Now she just laid there given up, nothing rhymes

My past is seeking me out again
The stupidity of my past ignorance and sin

We'd stay up all night and speak of places we would roam
He moved me far away from home


He moved me away from family and friends
I didn't relize my future was growing dim

I was in love, he kept his demons well hid
If I'd just known some of the things he had did


I soon was pregnant, unable to defend
That's when the beatings begin

I would of ran but there was no where to go
So far from home with a young one in tow


My illusional happy family dissolved
A happy future from me is STILL getting robed

This drunken alcoholic fool
Was particularly cruel

Daily beatings a must
Hands around my throat in disgust

Have him arrested, out the next day
"Boy, ***** will you pay"


Years go by and three children latter
Things are much worse the punishment greater

Can't leave him now, know for a fact he will **** me
He'd bury my body deep, he'd never set me free

Then he would be raising my kids, a terrifying thought
And all of my suffering would of been for naught


One drunken and now cracked up night
He told me to go and I took flight

Raised four kinds on my own
Over 17 year and every 2 or 3 years always making his presence known

He can fill my heart with fear
I seen him today he's in my town..........his near

My past is seeking me out again
The stupidity of my past ignorance and sin

We'd stay up all night and speak of places we would roam
He moved me far away from home


He moved me away from family and friends
I didn't relize my future was growing dim

I was in love, he kept his demons well hid
If I'd just known some of the things he had did


I soon was pregnant, unable to defend
That's when the beatings begin

I would of ran but there was no where to go
So far from home with a young one in tow


My illusional happy family dissolved
A happy future from me is STILL getting robed

This drunken alcoholic fool
Was particularly cruel

Daily beatings a must
Hands around my throat in disgust

Have him arrested, out the next day
"Boy, ***** will you pay"


Years go by and three children latter
Things are much worse the punishment greater

Can't leave him now, know for a fact he will **** me
He'd bury my body deep, he'd never set me free

Then he would be raising my kids, a terrifying thought
And all of my suffering would of been for naught


One drunken and now cracked up night
He told me to go and I took flight

Raised four kinds on my own
Over 17 year and every 2 or 3 years always making his presence known

He can fill my heart with fear
I seen him today he's in my town..........his near

The memory of what he did brought even more memories to mind
Slow at first but picking up speed, it's all starting to unwind
I don't want to look, I don't want to find
But when I close my eyes there they are right behind

It's been almost a year, but all these thoughts have come rushing in
Because it is mushroom season again
The woods I would have to go within
I always loved to romp about out there,but now thoughts twist and bend
Losing my sanctuary was the greatest sin

Dragging me out to my beautiful wood, so I could be his prey
The feel of the freash damp earth under foot, birds chirping in the trees, I will remember it ALL till my dying day

My hands tied behind my back, it would be easier for him that way
He pushed me to my knees, invading me from behind just like my step daddy did so a ****** I'd stay
He knew it would bring back those memories of my yesterday's

With that veil evil deed, so many things got lost
My woods, singing birds, the river's bend, what a cost
No more fishing, no more camping, no place to take off my disguise
No sanctuary to run to, all of this I'm starting to realize

He was an intelligently crazy
He was destroy the last place that was my safety
He was taking my last bit of joy I could get
He was very cunning in that, I'll have to admit

He found away to continue to bring me agony
After all these years he couldn't just let me be
He made my tormented life worse by many degrees
So now standing at the edge of the woods I freeze

He took my place
To feel warm and safe
New and catastrophic agony is now a cold fire inside
There is no place to hide
It's left me fighting hard not to end it all and die

Hide in plain sight
Hold back the tears
Thru all of the years
Hide all of your scars
And all of your flaws
Don't let them know
Keep it under control
Stand straight and tall
Like there was never a fall
Don't run away in fright
Hide in plain sight!!!!

Hide in plain sight
Hold back the tears
Thru all of the years
Hide all of your scars
And all of your flaws
Don't let them know
Keep it under control
Stand straight and tall
Like there was never a fall
Don't run away in fright
Hide in plain sight!!!!

Put me in the night
Hide me out of sight
Put me on an island
Or in an asylum
Put me a hole
For my wretched soul
Put me in the tallest tree
So no one can see
Fling me in the ocean
So they haven't a notion
Paint me camouflage
So I'm just a mirage
Put me on a boat
That doesn't stay afloat
Put me on a cliff
Send a wind that is stiff
Put me in a ravine
Where I'll never be seen
Put me on the moon
So I won't come back soon
Put me in the sky
We know that I can't fly
Put me in a car
That takes me very far
Put me in a shack
Where I refuse to come back
Put me in the rain
So I might become sane

Put me in the night
Hide me out of sight
Put me on an island
Or in an asylum
Put me a hole
For my wretched soul
Put me in the tallest tree
So no one can see
Fling me in the ocean
So they haven't a notion
Paint me camouflage
So I'm just a mirage
Put me on a boat
That doesn't stay afloat
Put me on a cliff
Send a wind that is stiff
Put me in a ravine
Where I'll never be seen
Put me on the moon
So I won't come back soon
Put me in the sky
We know that I can't fly
Put me in a car
That takes me very far
Put me in a shack
Where I refuse to come back
Put me in the rain
So I might become sane

I should hate him
But I don't
I should forget about him
But I can't
I shouldn't read his words of love from yesterday's
But I do
With all the tears I've cried, my eyes should be dry
But their not
With the way he shattered my heart, it shouldn't beat for him
But it does

I love him more today
Than I did yesterday
I told him I'd love him always
And I will
I told him I loved him heart and soul
That i can't control
He will never leave my heart
His love is tattooed there
Even if I never hear from him again
I'll just drown in my love for him

You stayed with me four days and nights. Every thing felt so right. I took you home this morning.I hated that it was time you had to be going. It's only 8 o'clock at night. I'm laying here remembering your face in the moonlight. There is this aching inside, you're already missed. We where only supposed to be **** buddies, but these feelings can't be dismiss. Are you thinking of me. When you close your eyes what do you see. I know your not much for words but how do you feel. Am I enough to fill, am I enough of a meal. My heart is beginning to swell. So babe please tell. For I don't want to fall for you. End up with my heart blue. In need of resuscitation again. Please don't let my love be a sin

He took the drugs to ease his physical pain
He took the drugs to deal with all the strain
He took the drugs now it's in his brain
He took the drugs now he's stuck in the sick and twisted game

You'll find him there within his room
You'll find him there with the needle and the spoon
You'll find him there where the darkness looms
You'll find him there for the pain always resumes

I'm scared one day I'll find him there............that awful shade of blue

He took the drugs to ease his physical pain
He took the drugs to deal with all the strain
He took the drugs now it's in his brain
He took the drugs now he's stuck in the sick and twisted game

You'll find him there within his room
You'll find him there with the needle and the spoon
You'll find him there where the darkness looms
You'll find him there for the pain always resumes

I'm scared one day I'll find him there............that awful shade of blue

(poet's side note: worse fear realized August 16th 2016)

The memory of what he did brought even more memories to mind
Slow at first but picking up speed, it's all starting to unwind
I don't want to look, I don't want to find
But when I close my eyes there they are right behind

It's been almost a year, but all these thoughts have come rushing in
Because it is mushroom season again
The woods I would have to go within
I always loved to romp about out there,but now thoughts twist and bend
Losing my sanctuary was the greatest sin

Dragging me out to my beautiful wood, so I could be his prey
The feel of the freash damp earth under foot, birds chirping in the trees, I will remember it ALL till my dying day

My hands tied behind my back, it would be easier for him that way
He pushed me to my knees, invading me from behind just like my step daddy did so a ****** I'd stay
He knew it would bring back those memories of my yesterday's

With that veil evil deed, so many things got lost
My woods, singing birds, the river's bend, what a cost
No more fishing, no more camping, no place to take off my disguise
No sanctuary to run to, all of this I'm starting to realize

He was an intelligently crazy
He was destroy the last place that was my safety
He was taking my last bit of joy I could get
He was very cunning in that, I'll have to admit

He found away to continue to bring me agony
After all these years he couldn't just let me be
He made my tormented life worse by many degrees
So now standing at the edge of the woods I freeze

He took my place
To feel warm and safe
New and catastrophic agony is now a cold fire inside
There is no place to hide
It's left me fighting hard not to end it all and die

I don't want to kick the hornets nest
But I am felling quit depressed
And begaining to get awful distressed
There is things I need to express
Because my chest is really compressed
I know it's from all the stress
It will be hard for you to digest
But I have to get this off my chest
This problem must be addressed
I think it is for the best
That all of it is confessed
I know after I tell you, me you'll detest
But maybe that's for the best

Oooh never mind
I'll just keep these hornets in their hive
And stay in the shadows and hide

I don't want to kick the hornets nest
But I am felling quit depressed
And begaining to get awful distressed
There is things I need to express
Because my chest is really compressed
I know it's from all the stress
It will be hard for you to digest
But I have to get this off my chest
This problem must be addressed
I think it is for the best
That all of it is confessed
I know after I tell you, me you'll detest
But maybe that's for the best

Oooh never mind
I'll just keep these hornets in their hive
And stay in the shadows and hide

I don't want to kick the hornets nest
But I am felling quit depressed
And begaining to get awful distressed
There is things I need to express
Because my chest is really compressed
I know it's from all the stress
It will be hard for you to digest
But I have to get this off my chest
This problem must be addressed
I think it is for the best
That all of it is confessed
I know after I tell you, me you'll detest
But maybe that's for the best

Oooh never mind
I'll just keep these hornets in their hive
And stay in the shadows and hide

How can I **** myself when I am already dead
Struggling through endless time and this is where its lead
I feel like a zombie, a walking bag of rotting flesh
No heart strongly beating within my empty chest
It's been shattered like fragile blown glass
Falling for an eternity in a bottomless icy crevasse
The hopeless confusion of this life seem endless
What use is existing when there is no fiery love, it all seems worthless
Made to see love's glowing light in other people's eyes
When all mine do is turn red as I cry
As darkness is all that cruises through my vains
Because monsters where my only company, their the only things that came
At the end of the Chase, this is where it lead
How I wish I could **** my demons, but I'm already dead

How can I **** myself when I am already dead
Struggling through endless time and this is where its lead
I feel like a zombie, a walking bag of rotting flesh
No heart strongly beating within my empty chest
It's been shattered like fragile blown glass
Falling for an eternity in a bottomless icy crevasse
The hopeless confusion of this life seem endless
What use is existing when there is no fiery love, it all seems worthless
Made to see love's glowing light in other people's eyes
When all mine do is turn red as I cry
As darkness is all that cruises through my vains
Because monsters where my only company, their the only things that came
How I wish I could **** my demons, but I'm already dead

I'm tired of feeling this way
No matter what the day
Tired of feeling disjointed, disfigured
With my missing parts scattered on the ground
Knowing not all the parts are there to be found
I am only deconstructed, not reconstructed
I can never again be whole
I'll never be myself of old
Someone tell me why I should go on
Only a piece of a person, most of me gone
I just want to lay the rest of me down, how can that be wrong

I'm tired of feeling this way
No matter what the day
Tired of feeling conjointed, disfigured
With my missing parts scattered on the ground
Knowing not all the parts are there to be found
I am only deconstructed, not reconstructed
I can never again be whole
I'll never be myself of old
Someone tell me why I should go on
Only a piece of a person, most of me gone
I just want to lay the rest of me down, how can that be wrong

If friendship is now where we might be able to stand
Know I am sorrow, please take my hand

I didn't know how deep your loved flowed
A short love story is all I let be told

I kneel on your shore, a great part of me ripped out
It was my fualt, so I'll just bow my head and cry and pout

Please don't take your friendship too
Because then there'll be nothing left, I'll be hollow and blue

I'll never know the depths of pain I put you through
I never ment for my darkness to scar you up too

And I'm afraid to ask for friendship, because there seems to be something my soul lacks.
And the void has been filled in with the darkness and the black

Plaese remember and never doubt, I Love you!!!
Because even though you tried to rip it away
My love for you still stayed

If this is the last we are to communicate
At lest I'll stand here and shout from the gate

I LOVE YOU!!!!♥♥♥♥

Two seedlings grow up on the same plot of land
Wonderful black soil, not loose sand
So their roots gripped deep, so tall they could stand
So face to face they grew, each one knowing the other
As they shot up, their love soon bloomed one for another
They so longed to touch and entangle
With their branches they wanted to hold and mingle
And all the way to their roots they wanted to feel the tingle
Their love grew strong, and so did their trunks
They were watered and cared for each day by the monks
And the years slipped by when one final hour
Their branches could touch with a little wind power
A few more years slipped by and they now could embrace
And they were happy they had been planted face to face
They stood for centuries happy and content in their place
Sadly they thought that this bliss would last forever
All life problems they swore to endeavor
They held each other through storms and sunny weather
Until one day his roots grew weaker
With every passing year their situation grew bleaker
One night a storm blew in and their situation was dire
The wind blew him over and lightning set him on fire
She lost some branches trying to hold on to him
She knew deep down to her sap that now her life would be grim
Without him by her side she started to cry
And with every eternal year that crept by
Her limbs no longer reached for the sky but drooped down to the ground
Cuz that is now where his charred remains could be found
She reached for him with every single limb
Her weeping went on each day of the sorrowful years she was filled to the brim
The monks took care of her but they could feel her great sorrow
They prayed everyday that she would stand strong till tomorrow
One day an old monk took a close look at the tree
And decided the pain had changed her so much that her name now is different by decree
So my child when you lay your tired head on your pillow
Remember her and all her seedlings are now the weeping willow
She's there to remind us of the loss of great love
That not even her seedlings could rise above

Two seedlings grow up on the same plot of land
Wonderful black soil, not loose sand
So their roots gripped deep, so tall they could stand
So face to face they grew, each one knowing the other
As they shot up, their love soon bloomed one for another
They so longed to touch and entangle
With their branches they wanted to hold and mingle
And all the way to their roots they wanted to feel the tingle
Their love grew strong, and so did their trunks
They were watered and cared for each day by the monks
And the years slipped by when one final hour
Their branches could touch with a little wind power
A few more years slipped by and they now could embrace
And they were happy they had been planted face to face
They stood for centuries happy and content in their place
Sadly they thought that this bliss would last forever
All life problems they swore to endeavor
They held each other through storms and sunny weather
Until one day his roots grew weaker
With every passing year their situation grew bleaker
One night a storm blew in and their situation was dire
The wind blew him over and lightning set him on fire
She lost some branches trying to hold on to him
She knew deep down to her sap that now her life would be grim
Without him by her side she started to cry
And with every eternal year that crept by
Her limbs no longer reached for the sky but drooped down to the ground
Cuz that is now where his charred remains could be found
She reached for him with every single limb
Her weeping went on each day of the sorrowful years she was filled to the brim
The monks took care of her but they could feel her great sorrow
They prayed everyday that she would stand strong till tomorrow
One day an old monk took a close look at the tree
And decided the pain had changed her so much that her name now is different by decree
So my child when you lay your tired head on your pillow
Remember her and all her seedlings are now the weeping willow
She's there to remind us of the loss of great love
That not even her seedlings could rise above

Two seedlings grow up on the same plot of land
Wonderful black soil, not loose sand
So their roots gripped deep, so tall they could stand
So face to face they grew,  each one knowing the other
As they shot up,  their love soon bloomed one for another
They so longed to touch and  entangle
With their branches they wanted to hold and mingle
And all the way to their roots they wanted to feel the tingle
Their love grew strong, and so did their trunks
They were watered and cared for each day by the monks
And the years slipped by when one final hour
Their branches could touch with a little wind power
A few more years slipped by and they now could embrace
And they were happy they had been planted face to face
They stood for centuries happy and content in their place
Sadly they thought that this  bliss would last forever
All life problems they swore to endeavor
They held each other through storms and sunny weather
Until one day his roots grew weaker
With every passing year their situation grew bleaker
One night a storm blew in and their situation was dire
The wind blew him over and lightning set him on fire
She lost some branches trying to hold on to him
She knew deep down to her sap that now her life would be grim
Without him by her side she started to cry
And with every eternal year that crept by
Her limbs no longer reached for the sky but drooped down to the ground
Cuz that is now where his charred remains could be found
She reached for him with every single limb
Her weeping went on each day of the sorrowful years she was filled to the brim
The monks took care of her but they could feel her great sorrow
They prayed everyday that she would stand strong till tomorrow
One day an old monk took a close look at the tree
And decided the pain had changed her so much that her name now is different by decree
So my child when you lay your tired head on your pillow
Remember her and all her seedlings are now the weeping willow
She's there to remind us of the loss of great love
That not even her seedlings could rise above

Two seedlings grow up on the same plot of land
Wonderful black soil, not loose sand
So their roots gripped deep, so tall they could stand
So face to face they grew, each one knowing the other
As they shot up, their love soon bloomed one for another

They so longed to touch and entangle
With their branches they wanted to hold and mingle
And all the way to their roots they wanted to feel the tingle

Their love grew strong, and so did their trunks
They were watered and cared for each day by the monks
And the years slipped by when one final hour
Their branches could touch with a little wind power

A few more years slipped by and they now could embrace
And they were happy they had been planted face to face
They stood for centuries happy and content in their place

Sadly they thought that this bliss would last forever
All life problems they swore to endeavor
They held each other through storms and sunny weather
Until one day his roots grew weaker
With every passing year their situation grew bleaker

One night a storm blew in and their situation was dire
The wind blew him over and lightning set him on fire
She lost some branches trying to hold on to him
She knew deep down to her sap that now her life would be grim

Without him by her side she started to cry
And with every eternal year that crept by
Her limbs no longer reached for the sky but drooped down to the ground
Cuz that is now where his charred remains could be found

She reached for him with every single limb
Her weeping went on each day of the sorrowful years she was filled to the brim
The monks took care of her but they could feel her great sorrow
They prayed everyday that she would stand strong till tomorrow

One day an old monk took a close look at the tree
And decided the pain had changed her so much that her name now is different by decree

So my child when you lay your tired head on your pillow
Remember her and all her seedlings are now the weeping willow

She's there to remind us of the loss of great love
That not even her seedlings could rise above

The walking dead in the land of the living
Soulless eyes and hearts unforgiving
They seek to destroy
******* out your joy
Shatter your skull
Make your mind dull
Rip out your heart
That's just the start
Dead set eyes
You'll never relize
Till it's to late
Your heart they ate
Breathing remains
Nothing else the same
Now hollow of feeling
Soul was sent reeling
Some don't know
Out of them life flowed
We're all missing parts
Mostly the heart
Also gray matter
Out of mouths spatter
Growing in number
Pillage and plunder
All must be feed
Living in the land of the dead..

The walking dead in the land of the living
Soulless eyes and hearts unforgiving
They seek to destroy
******* out your joy
Shatter your skull
Make your mind dull
Rip out your heart
That's just the start
Dead set eyes
You'll never relize
Till it's to late
Your heart they ate
Breathing remains
Nothing else the same
Now hollow of feeling
Soul was sent reeling
Some don't know
Out of them life flowed
We're all missing parts
Mostly the heart
Also gray matter
Out of mouths spatter
Growing in number
Pillage and plunder
All must be feed
Living in the land of the dead..

The walking dead in the land of the living
Soulless eyes and hearts unforgiving

They seek to destroy
******* out your joy
Shatter your skull
Make your mind dull

Rip out your heart
That's just the start
Dead set eyes
You'll never relize
Till it's to late 
Your heart they ate

Breathing remains
Nothing else the same
Now hollow of feeling
Soul was sent reeling

Some don't know
Out of them life flowed
We're all missing parts
Mostly the heart
Also gray matter
Obscenities spatter

Growing in number
Pillage and plunder
All must be fed
Living in the land of the dead..

©Pauline Morris

Laying here with my arm's across my chest
Just hugging myself
For there's no one here to hold me
Tears cascading, I can't see
No one here to comfort me
No one here to care
Only me to pick myself up when I fell
When I fall
When I hit the wall
No, no one here at all

Laying here with my arm's across my chest
Just hugging myself
For there's no one here to hold me
Tears cascading, I can't see
No one here to comfort me
No one here to care
Only me to pick myself up, when
I fell
When I fall
When I hit the wall
No, no one here at all

Laying here with my arm's across my chest
Just hugging myself
For there's no one here to hold me
Tears cascading, I can't see
No one here to comfort me
No one here to care
Only me to pick myself up, when
I fell
When I fall
When I hit the wall
No, no one here at all

You won't catch me in a crowded space
I don't do well with the human race
All their endless chatter
Over things that don't really matter
All those people in just one space
All of those people, face upon face
Makes my heart just pound and race

I'm not antisocial, I have my small circle
But stupid is way to fertile
And with each generation they seem to get dimmer
There seems to be no hope not even a glimmer

If you don't believe, just sit back and watch at the mall
There use to be a few now their numbers aren't small
I blame the government, and our schools
Just push them through forget the golden rules

So please don't put me on the spot
Where there are a lot of people I won't be caught
First is anxiety, fallowed quickly by panic
At times it is quite manic

Your best bet to find me is where it's quiet
That's the way I like it
Out in the woods, it improves my mood
Because animals only **** for food
Unlike like us human fools
We are in a sad state, the human gene pool

Human monsters created in my life this gore
And opened up this darkened door
That the demons all stream through
And I am mired in all this goo

Sticky memories of torture
Leaves me standing on the border
Of who I was and what they made me
Could someone hand me the key

So I could turn back the clock
And maybe this life of horror I could stop
Or maybe twist the hands of fate
That left me in this wretched state

The sands of time keep streaming
And the demons they keep screaming
And this charred heart keeps beating
And this life no longer holds meaning
So my throat, and wrist start bleeding

As I stand here on the brink
Inside my soul is starting to shrink
In the thick black tar I'm starting to sink
It's coal black as dark as ink
I'll be gone in just one blink

Get me out of this cesspool
I'm swiming in idiotic fools
How did I get surrounded by you heartless freaks
Why can't any of you think before you speak

You all tell lies with such great speed
That my ears are starting to bleed
And all my thoughts your starting to impede
Why the **** where you allowed to breed

If I'm made to stay here with you human waste
I fear my intelligence will soon be erased
With all your mindless yakety- yak
I'm begaining to think you all must all be on crack

My name is Humpty
Everyone just dumpes on me
I know a secret most won't tell
I was cracked before I fell

I'm being hunted, I am the pray
Eyes darting everywhere, thoughts in disarray

Drove by him on the street this morning, our eyes locked
**** now he knows the car is my only thoughts

I had moved away from my home town
Hope upon hope I wouldn't be found

But I still work in this God forsaken place
In this **** town every day, so now I'm being chased

I don't understand why he won't let me be
It's been so many years, why can't he just forget about me

Although I know in his drug addled mind
I'm the one that got away and left him behind

He is truly crazy, that's what scares me the most
And I know all the demons he host

He's lived most of his life in prison, or on the streets
He's one of the homeless like many you meet

But he's a dangerous CRAZY
Of that there's no maybe

He told me a few years go of the women he's ***** and beaten
If he would die there would be one less demon

****!!! As I sit here writing this, out the window I spy
Him nonchalantly just walking by

Why ******* now does hunt me this way
I feel like crying in dismay

But I'm at work so I hide my fear
**** if he hadn't seen my car he wouldn't know I was here

My client is handicapped and his father old
All of this their mind couldn't hold

If he's still here after my work day
I'll have to lure him away

After all it's just me that he craves
And I know he will always till either him or I lie in the grave

Headlights dimmed by sheets of rain
Driving in this is just not sane
Water stands on pavement like glass
Tries slicing through with a splash
Hydroplane.....a tree is hit
Maybe they'll think it was an accident

Fell
Stuck in a well
Halve way to Hell
Down
Will I be found
So way underground
Hard
My body is charred
I drew my last card

I am the frozen lock
I am the stopped clock
I am the sand
That slips through your hands

I am the black sheep
I am the freak
I am the hungry  beast
That's never satisfied with the feast

I am the snake
I am the earthquake
I am the boat
That just won't float

I am the rope
I am the loss of hope
I am the godless
For no one can stop this

I am the dead
I am all you dread
I am all but gone
So very far from strong

I am the walking cadaver
I am the shatter
I am the gray matter
That out of my head splattered

Floating here out in the sea
All you can see is me
The good the bad the ugly
All packed up so snugly
I am an open book
All you need is to take a look
I hide nothing in the binding
I hide nothing in my rhyming
It's all laid out so plainly
There was never anyone to save me
Countless times I've given in
Countless times I've committed sin
But I've only ever hurt myself
So I finally put me on a shelf

Know that I am sorrow please take my hand
I'll lead you to constant pain in new land
But unlike happiness I'll never leave you
I won't make you sit in the churches hard pew
But at times I'll make you drop to your knees
Under the weeping willow trees
I let the limbs hide your tear stained face
I'll show you the horrors,for you I'll make my case
For I have no mercy for you at all
I'll trip you and laugh as you fall
I'll take all your fears and make them come true
You'll never be happy again, that will never do
I am sorrow and I'll never leave you

I'm counted among the fortunate few
That gets to see the magnificent  things I do
Extraordinary eyes that can see
The pitch black holds so much glee
Owls wings reflect the moons glow
It's sent silently to deliver wisdom to our souls
Listen closely, it's the nightingales sweet breath
She's singing loud but soft of tender love and of sweet death
I'm one of the few allowed to see
The turtles lay their eggs then return to the sea
Up on the mountains near the top
I watch the panther make it a rabbits last hop
Don't be blue, sad or cry, it's the cycle of this life
Furry cubs survive, cutting through flesh with teeth like knives
Look real close in that darkened sky
You'll bearly see the bat's fly by
I can see the wind as it blows the limbs
Every mighty trees is it's victims
I'm the shadow man, I am the One That sees
Everything in the night that plays so free
If your ever up in the late, late night
Keep your eyes open wide, of me you might catch a sight

©Pauline Russell

I walk in the light of day
But never feel the sun's warming rays
Amongst all ******* peoples brays
I learned to live a diffrent way

I am the queen of ice
Break me off, take a slice
Go ahead and roll the dice
If you cross me you won't do it twice
You'll pay the price
I really am not very nice

My feeling froze over long ago
I'm sure in my face it shows
My indifference just grows
I'll step on all your toes

I don't care if your happy or sad
Anguished, or mad
Or if you give me all you had
I'll use you for what I need
I'm really good at planting seeds
I'll make you do what I want
Make you think it was your idea from the start

Yes I am the Ice Queen
I'll be all you ever need

I detach myself from you
You no longer cause me pain
I can now dance in your rain

I detach myself from you
You no longer captivate me
I can now just let all of it be

I detach myself from you
You no longer hold my heart prisoner
I can now stop being a visitor

I detach myself from you
You no longer control my soul
I can now be free to go

I detach myself from you
You no longer consume my thoughts
I can now control the rot

The Power's that be
Are laughing at me
They've stacked the deck
To them I'm a speck
Like a kid with an ant
They can't hear my rant
Not that they care
They're not interested in fair
They drop their stones
To hear my moans
Oh look there's the light
Wait, **** it's to bright
They flood my life
With worry and strife
There's no reason or rhyme
It'll change on a dime
They are not very sane
their attention will wane
They will soon let me be
By stepping on me

Sitting on the floor because I don't like the fall
I only gave the illusion I was up, but it's here I've been after all
I try to trick myself into thinking I feel grand
It was my confusion, it was my plan
But it didn't work, hell the truth is I can't even stand
The true is I'll always be ******
But I do try to enjoy just a few comforts
Amongest all the hurts
A fresh cup of coffee, the smell of bacon
On the stove top frying and making
A cuddle with my dog, by the way her name is Pig.
I loved the movie "Babe" and "That'll do pig"
I have a twisted mind which is quiet an accomplishment
Considering the world wanted it shattered not bent
But I don't want your hand I'm quite content
On the floor here where I sit
For if I stand to tall
There will inevitably be that nasty fall
And just one more time and I may not be able to come back at all

Is a desperate wish the heart makes
In want, of correcting life's mistakes

If only, you was here with me
If only, every humane was truly free
If only, I could have a baby
If only, I hadn't been slowly driven crazy
If only, our love was still strong
If only, the surgery hadn't went wrong
If only, you didn't live so far away
If only, I had the right words to say
If only, we were not at war
If only, I wasn't a ****** looking for a score
If only, that car hadn't crossed lanes
If only, I was still the same
If only, cancer had a cure
If only, I was an entrepreneur
If only, my car hadn't broke down
If only, he had scored that touchdown
If only, you would come back
If only, my world wasn't painted black
If only, I could go back in time
If only, life was sublime
If only, you hadn't got sick
If only, I was a magician with wonderful tricks
If only, I was rich
If only, with your life I could switch
If only, you truly where in love
If only, I could fly like a dove
If only, you hadn't died
If only, I hadn't lied
If only, I could be famous
If only, we could sit and reminisce
If only, my heart would have never heen broken
If only, the truth was spoken
If only, I had told you how I felt
If only, a better hand I was dealt
If only, we never had to grow old
If only, the future I controlled
If only Eve hadn't eaten that apple and comited the first sin
If only.......... is a simple longing, heart felt wish, for what could've, would've, should've, might've been

Don't know how much longer I can hold on
When everything in my life is so wrong
So if tomorrow comes and you can't find me
It was just something that had to be
Please no one cry for me
Knowing the agony I see
So live your shiny, glow filled life
Forget my life of strife
Your thoughts of me will soon diminish
Because with this fight I am finished
I've been living in this life of decay far to long
And this just might be the finale note to my song