Is it a new beginning
Or an old end?

Is it goodbye to a true enemy
Or hello to a fake friend?

Imprisoned, but...

Is is you
Or me behind the bars?

Are we keeping you out
Or keeping me in from where you are?

Who needs emotions when there are people to please?
Who needs doctors when you’re the source of the disease?
Who needs human functions to live when you’re deceased?
Who needs love when it’s certain you deserve to bleed?
Who needs?

Apart of me
Are the pieces of you,
The beautiful nothing:
Things I can't compute.

Isolated fractals-
Our memories turn grey
Both due to absence,
One dead, one defray

Now you are gone
I don't think I can carry on,
Forever.
In our separate graves,
Let's be alone, together.

Flesh sees flesh
Spirit sees spirit
It takes one to see one
But no one's there to hear it

It's always the good ones that go to waste
Can't undo the past yet deleted files I still chase
Loss of identity, leaves me traumatized for phases
Only just a little child, way too young for these foretaste

I miss the time where I taught persons actually cared
I miss the time when I taught that people were there
I miss the time when only Satan was evil
I had to find out that the bads ones were the people.

I’ll help you find you way;
Live to see brighter days,

When you’re feeling imprisoned,
I’m the key to your cage.

When you’re lost I will find you,
In fogs I’ll always shine through.

When you’ve lost, it’s a gain;
I’ll protect you from pain.

Every day we die
But some days we die more than others.

Staring at the static scream
Of the ******* box
And silently scream;
Trapped in this paradox

Because silents screams
Aren't heard, but seen
Repeating patterns erratic
I lose myself to static.

Master, you're put in charge
As your servant, I have put you first
I live to please you

Love is for the heart
And poetry's for the soul
One tears you apart
And the other makes you whole

When there's no one to hold you,
You wanna let go,

You're caving in?
Then listen
To the true words of a poem;

A poet's soul,
Straight from the source
In life's storms,
It's a solid anchor

Thoughts are for the mind
And poetry's for the spirit
Thoughts can never find
But the other always reaches

One way or another
If you're ever lost
Read a poem
It'll always be free-of-cost

When there's no one's opinion
To question who are you,
In the dark
A poem always shine through

But would you listen
To lines of the truth?

From a poet's soul
Straight from the source
Raw, unfiltered, very wholesome
An unstoppable force;

Listen the souls of poets!

Blank and blurry
I lose myself
I drown in fury
I made this hell
Can't function as needed
I'm taking it with salt
Your plans haven't succeeded
And it's all my fault

I’m hiding the hurt,
I’m hiding the pain.
I’m hiding the tears,
Although they flow like rain.
I’m hiding the fear-

Just let me brood;
I can’t tell you the secrets trapped inside my skull,
Don’t call me rude.

Let me
Protect you.

I’ll tear myself apart
To put you together
I’ll make it worse for me
To make you feel better

It’s all about you
Don’t focus on worthless things like me
These aren’t the colours I should see
Get it right:
You’re priority.

In layers I hide
Behind my mask
Maybe there’s a monster?
To remove it
Should you I dare ask?

I’d loved you while you lasted
I’ll love you through your plastic
I’ll love you when you’re finite
I’ll love you as fantastic

I know it’s not the best
I know it’s not that healthy
In this case especially
Because it is killing me!

But how can I tell you?
How can I deliberately disappoint?
How can I **** all dreams you have for me?
How to tell I need oil in my joints?

The past memories sit and stare
With nothing left to do, we begin to share
I say this, it replies with that
Deep down we both wish this was more than a chit chat

It showed me videos of things that already happened
I want to end its life, but it's there, crafting
From leaning on a wall about to crumble
With curiosity, I walk over, hoping it would show me it's humble

It was sharpening a knife, and I wonder "For what use?"
"Will it be another object that on myself I abuse?
I lose myself to my imagination,
To all my destructive behaviours that bring about surreal sensations

Desire is dope
I might get addicted, I find
If I become dependant
And let it take over my mind

It would become my everything,
I would want nothing else
I would take desperate measures
To feed the cravings of myself

I don't think I want to go down that path
And when you ask, sweep it under the rug
Desire is dope, but no thanks,
I don't do drugs.

Pop ‘em pillies
OD on my pellets, I know
It ain’t pretty:
Experienced, suicidal
Gotham city
All up in head I rave, yup
Desperate times
I will show you how bad I gave up

Shovel in my hands
I’m digging my own grave
You don’t understand
It’s too late to be saved
Falling for the trap
To be poisoned, no comment
There’s no turning back
Let’s pretend I’m a rodent

Pop ‘em pillies
Pop, pop
Pop ‘em pillies
Pillies
It ain’t pretty
The ways that I **** me
I’m my own pest control
And I dig my own grave
These are just one of the ways
To show you how bad I gave up

My judgement clouded by undeserved happiness
Slavery's my choice, it's my fault
Isn't it always?

I can't remember anymore,
Can't afford to pay attention
Why were you even born?

A slave's only purpose is to please
When will I ever learn?
I'm so happy right now

Just make it stop
Just make me stop
My heart, still ever beating

The skin I'm in
Emotional numbness, stoic?
My heart is bleeding

They claim to care
They claim to love
They claim to do better

Alone I waste away
New year, new day
Same them, same old problems

I've read between the lines
I'm not a part of the bigger pictures
I paint them a personality of perfection, because I never mattered

Their words and actions
Contrary, opposed within the same person
I'm about to fall apart again

What must I be
A slave, a friend
A daughter, I see no difference

I feel the hurts
It all gets worse
No wonder I'm so worthless

Priority
Certainly not me
It's my fault, I'm to blame

Why were you ever born?
I'm torn
Between letting you live to hurt or die to burn

So many ways to rid the world of you
A lifelong inconvenience
For some reason everyone's shattered?

Regrets and tears
They grieve, they cheer
But why? I never mattered

Good luck and good riddance
I hope you find your rhythm
Either you're in or out
Look at who's laughing now
Best wishes, sweet dreams
Hope you'll soon be redeem
You chose out over in
At the crossroads no one wins

Poison in the blood
Toxins in the veins
Pain

Every movement
Every twitching
Every bruise and
Every blister
The dark fine line
My blood glistens
In the moonlight
Ain’t it twisted?

Every vision
Black and blue, I’m
Used, abused, Crime
To suicide
Every sharp sur-
Face of the knives
Every blunt hammerhead
That I’ve tried

‘Fore they knew I’m
Painting pictures
Inhumane crimes
Still unwitnessed
Going through, I’m
Thorough, twisted
Me beyond recognition
Ain’t it vicious?

I deserve hurt
I deserve pain
I deserve work
I deserve strain

Self-starvation
Unsatisfactory
Tainted believes
I become feign

I wear my masks to make it better
I anxiously wait as I see the three grey dots dance on my screen
I don't see the point in painting merry smiles to hide the truth
I wear the skin that makes me scream

I’m sorry that things have changed
We aren’t the human I used to know
My mind and my heart have had their exchange
And the fears that have been caught up with at last begin to show

Lying has never felt so fulfilling
I’m about to fall apart again
Monsters shouldn’t exist, now could be their time of killing
But the shadows in the corner of my mind won’t let me rest

I cut the meat and stuff the flesh
To feed the bottomless stomachs of finites
The damage done lives in my veins
It only gets worse, we can’t hope for the best

On the edge-ridden surfaces
I throw myself and is comforted by talking meat
The nation reaches its loving arms out to inflict me
But non-existent persons shouldn’t be acknowledged.

I’ll never be real enough for the talking flesh.

I dreamed a dream
When I was alive
My hope was high
And my life worth living

I dreamed that
Evilness would have died
I dreamed that
People would be more loving

Right now I am young and unafraid
My dreams are made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the demons come at night
With their love as soft a barb wire
They want to tear your hopes and heart
They want to turn my dreams to shame

I always dreamed my life would be
So different from this world I'm living in
So different from what it seams
I had a dream.

I promise to give myself the things I deserve
I promise that it's not because of you I hurt me

Deteriorate, I die behind the scenes
You'll come to find that descending madness ain't serene
As I make it seem

It's said a promise is comfort to a fool
So shame on me for believing in you
Very comforting your lies were
Now I'm here questioning my own worth

"It's irrelevant"
I'm usually the skeptic here
But the tables have turned
The roles are reversed

It's your reckoning
I am undone with no care
It's time to let you know

I write in dedication
I am forever grateful
Thanks to your behaviours
Now I am truly able
To hide myself from the world
'Cause all you do is hurt me
I had trust in your word
No surprise you desert me
You're watching from the sidelines
My body bleeds in a trench
As if I'm a sci-fi
Does dealing with reality make your gut wrench?
(Do I make your gut wrench?)

Looking at the wall
Something is missing
It doesn't have my brain stains

I am so appalled
How the knife doesn't glisten
With blood straight from my veins

Straight from the source
Of course
Let nature run it's,
Nature run it's,
Nature run this

Simulation
Reality's a lie
A preoccupation
To see me die

Get out
Or die trying
I've fell down
And I'm trying to give myself
The things I deserve

He is with me,
Even to the end
A friend in me
I made a friend
No raincoat,
Life keeps getting wetter
Please, I just want
Them to be better

I crave consumption,
An urge to purge,
To cease all function,
To rid the the world
Of the destruction caused by me.
I crave consumption,
I crave to undo this liability

I look and there's nothing left,
There's nothing left to be saved.
Because I am yours
I wear my mask
And behave.

I look at me and I see
There's nothing left to be saved
Because you own me,
I laugh it off
I'm your slave,

Yours, in a lost state
I wear my mask and behave
Because you own me
I wear my mask

Always watching,
Never seen,
Always is
And always been.
Standing by,
We watch worlds collapse.
It's our fault,
Again we relapse

If you steal my heart,
You'll bury it in your garden.

Don't plant it too deep
Else it would never emerge
To see the beauty of the sky
And your loving face

Shower it in your love
And make it overwhelmed
To die and drown in a sea
Of material items with no true meaning

Maybe its season will come
And it would finally bear
Seeds of emotion,
Seeds of love to spread
To decorate your garden
And whither into the soil it came from

Maybe its season has passed
And you will never taste its fruits
The weeds would find it
And make a meal
Consuming all the life in your garden
And you'll never plant again

Finders seek;
I seek to find
That which I lost
And lost my mind.
I'm at a loss
Now that I've gained.
Insanity's fancy,
Mundane's plain

I got this feeling,
This feeling's wrong
It's no ordinary feeling,
A feeling that I don't belong

A feeling of potential in me,
But the thing about this feeling,
I don't get to set it free,
Just because they just don't:

LET
ME
BE.

Thanks, appreciations!

I plea to thank you?

(We're unpleased)

Gratifications!

Certainly welcomed!

Isn't happiness just ignorant bliss?

I thought I was great
I thought I was worth it
Now all this hate
Has made me uncertain

You keep putting me off
To a later date
That would never come
And you wonder why I hate...
Us

I thought I was great
I thought I was worth it
Now all this hate
Has made me uncertain

You keep tearing me apart
Wouldn't fix me back
Deny all your actions,
And wonder why I'm cracked...
Up

I thought I was great
I thought I was worth it
Now all this hate
Has made me uncertain

You ne'er taught me to love,
When there's no love, there hate
Accuse me of having demons
Your concern for me is fake.

They’re always watching, following me
I can feel their presence everywhere I go
I tried to listen to them, I felt them calling me
So I welcomed them in and let me go

Seekers find,
A will to seek,
Us humankind
And break the meek.
No stone unturned
The nooks and crannies
Are taught and learned,
Aren't we canny

I am a very LOVING person.
Any and everyone I see,
Even before I ever know you,
I love you to the ends of the world,
But.If.You.Dare.Try.To.Abuse.My.Love,
I'll love you to the end of your life.

N.B.P.
N.B.P.
No Breaking Point
For me?
N.B.P.
N.B.P.
Writing away on a page
Is the only way I can express
What was anger now is rage

They disobeyed,
But I suffer
Did things their own way
Nearly caused a murer
(Me)
Need I say more?
What are my people for?

Oh, is it a lip bite hurt so bad
Plucking a bloodstream from my flesh
Blood going down into my head

Oh, titanitum needles inject
Give acid, take red water, insect
Forget

Dizzy around on the sky
Fly my wingless butterfly
So dead live

Oh, insert here, puncture shoulderblade
With enjoyness come and that waterfall
Metamorphosis cells my body change
I am rebuilt

Pale sheet, translucent skin, I flap
Sunshine hole in wing fire
You I live and die desire

Our poems tell stories,
Isn't that the trend?
They have their beginning
And they have their end

My poems, paragraphs,
Of my life: incomplete.
It feeds me to make them
But aren't I what I eat?

Come on the journey
To help you find myself

Oh yes, you heard me,
But I'm not in need of your help

My heart is an open door
You won't be forevermore

So now answer my call
Before your skies falls.

Feeling off,
I'm feeling wrong.
Sentience;
Life turned me on.
Self-aware,
Of breaths I take
Can't turn me off
Now I'm awake

The day I saw my mother cry,
I wanted, no more, to her, lie.

The day I saw my mother's tears
It washed away some of my fears.

The day I saw my mother weep,
It touched my soul, it touch me deep.

The day I saw my mother sad,
I wanted to make her glad.

I said a prayer,
I bowed my head
It was for my sister
As tears from my eyes bled.

It wasn't just any prayer
It was powerful
It went to God the Father
Just like it should

God saved here
I am so glad
Now I'll make more effort
On not being bad

God kept her
She'd stay with me
And everyone else
In the family

I'm thanking God
Each and every day
My sister is still here
Just because I prayed

Hello Poetry,
HePo, Hello Poetry!
Would you come with me?
Won't you? Would you follow me?

Take me to a world of fantasy
Reading poems all day
Writing poems all night

Hello Poetry
You are meant for me
You are just right.

Here I am
I'll shut me down
With a head slam
I cannot frown
I can't remember what you just said
How can a concussion be so bad?

Here I am
I'll shut me down with a yes ma'am
If I'm good enough
Soon I'll be dead
How can my concussions be so bad?

An art of misery
A dedication
Possessed by only me
A separation
Of heart and sanity

It's killing me
How much
You love
To make me bleed
Being a slave
I serve to please

Blue eyes
Black hair
You cried
I stared
I laughed
You left
Blue eyes
Come back.

I want to draw a ****** smiley face because it hurts
I want to slam my head against a wall 'til my brain works

You all are speaking through me
It undoes me with no care

It's too late to be saved
I must behave
n o   d i s e a s e   h e r e