I wonder if I'm able to love without making a catastrophe of it. Is my heart more than a catalyst for tragedy? I wonder, did you ever feel like you were drowning in my feelings? did you feel like you were breathing again as you walked away? did you feel like another muse for my sad poetry? I didn't mean to try and use you as the glue for all my broken parts. I'm a natural disaster and the truth is the ground beneath you shook everytime you came close. My pure intentions always seem to get twisted but I promise you I only ever wanted to love. I know I'm poison running through your veins. I know you wanted to spit me out the second you tasted me.
I'll kiss another boy who doesn't know my mind because if he did as well as you he'd walk away the same. Just know I tried to be simple. I tried until I felt nothing at all.
its hard to fill loneliness you cant find the solution if you dont know the problem blindly searching for an object with no name that may fix the unfixable and knowing this keeps you up at night makes you feel like you are the room itself, not its occupant.
is what they call it.
feel like I am stuck in a void. Poem came from it.
I was told I was a blessing although I felt I was a curse. They had to find a cure; they felt like something was missing, and that something was me. I feel like a burden with a weight too heavy to carry, too heavy to handle and too much to overcome. I feel like the unwanted insects that roam through the forest- stepped on and broken, but no one cares enough to stop. No one cares enough to do the healing. For all that I am, I am too much to handle. For all that I am, I have been labeled a burden. In a red striped shirt and blue Levi’s jeans I am all that I am, a burden indeed.
And sometimes I lie awake at night with a feeling of loneliness but also a feeling of guilt for I feel as though I am a waste of space. I am a heavy burden with a fragile sign plastered on me. How could anyone love me for all that I am for I am too much to handle. I am too much for myself and I’m too much for others for i only take up space. I am a liability
You can think whatever you like. That’s the freedom of thought. Experience leads you to perception, so let me tell you stories about you.
There was once a time where we were at odds, and our spirits acted as poles on a magnet. I tried hard to turn myself around but I ended up in an uncontrolled spin. Ever gaining velocity from your push.
There was once a time where you were deceitful and purposely put me in a situation where I had to keep quiet about your pathetic inability to have an ounce of self-control.
There was once a time I coddled you in a moment of pain. I sacrificed my focus, for your feelings, as friends do.
There was once a time where you invaded my personal space without permission. Too intoxicated to remember but vain enough to run from the truth of your unwelcomed actions.
There are many times when the words that flow out of your mind and to your mouth are convoluted, primitive thoughtless, and egocentric.
There is now a time where I do not call you friend. When the veil has been burned to ashes, and all that remains is the same exact person you claim to have slayed. ****** predator, pathological liar, selfish, and narrow minded.
People never change.
To quote Eminem "...it ever occur to you that I still have pictures?!"