Heave
To and fro
Pull
Back and forwards.
Cut
Side to side
Jump
Up then so far down

Leave
I'm not worth being  around

Debits on the left credits on the right
balancing such wastefull transactions
debits on the left credits on  the right
hating myself for youthful actions
debits on the left credits on the right
Who told you about job satisfaction?

I am tired.
You have no idea how tired.
My bones are aching.
splintering with the agony.             My craniums cracked.
Split like a boiled egg,
my soft core is spilling out.
Lie me with soldiers shoulder to shoulder
And I'm soft as buttered toast.
But i m trying. Dragging my back pack by my ankles
Pulling your soul with my teeth. And dragging us all down by my finger nails

how likely am i, to be what i am
then how likely you are to be  but a scar
I am Not A steryotype,
i am archaic in my design, so fail me not in my attempts to justify myself
but allow me to traverse the insantity of my delusion ,

delinquint similarities rattle us to the core, yes.
but thou hast taken to devouring my being
i know i prolong my suffering with intermitten relapses
but my storm in a tea cup is just chaos incarnate,
dont devour my soul , but take my heart, let me love you like only i know how
in a fashion that only you shall recieve


my dear you are not one of thousands, or hundreds or dozens akin
you are only one, and one only for me
dont despise my loss of time, or addiction to the unsavoury,
but take me to a place i have not seen, to see a part of myself
yet unseen
you think i am disposed and discovered, traversed by all manner of explorers,
not true,
you are the first to try unravel how i have formed, geographic mountainscapes carved from a violent and reactive past can be cut down to feilds
just pull me a part one pebble at a time

Shake me
Hands wrapped in concrete dressed as lace
Venom.
Your presseance pulses it through my arteries. Thick as foul soup in my veins
Dance for me
Your dieing throws are Dante like the ballerinas twirls
But the crowd is jeering you like a circus clown
Flail your fists
Spit poison and fire
Your only making this performance
More tasteful

I'm alone now
Night sounds
Cicadas chirp incessantly.
The rain falls so softly
I know that no one's around

Blackberrys on the ground,
Wilting
The wind curls around me
No shelter
The  echos bounce around me
No sleep

When I get home, they'll be nothing to eat
But my good intentions

Please don't
Broken bits don't get to go home,
Shatterd skulls no longer yaw
Skin cut and flayed does not fall.
Mearly drips,
The essence of my life flows.
I am in less control of this.
Then a river controls its bends

Dont tell me not to worry.
It only causes stress
Dont tell me not to worry
It doesnt make me worry any less
The fear of your suffering.
Guides me through the night
And though you have assured me.
It does not aid my plight
Please come home
And  tell me to not worry any more
Please come home
Because it will only stop
When your at my door

Do you write poetry to get it all out
Or to hide it?
Do you  write because  you  want to scream
And shout, or because you cant hide it?

I write when  im lonely
When the demons inside me get roudy
When the drugs  come a'howlin
And my familys looking over  me,
Frowning

I write  when the slits on my wrists  look like the telephone  lines i should be calling
But instead of screaming i just end up scrawling
All my pathetic  overstated  woes
Right here

So  facilitate  me, you strangers
Love this post.  Even though i hate it
Youve no idea the dangers im in
Trying to stay  away from that whole bottle of gin
In the corner

Facilitate  my anxieties
Show me your  all just sheep
Flocking  to  litterature like the  bowls of soup attract the meak

Im not a person here.
None of you really care
Are you even self aware
Do you know That even though its poetry
Theres a person  there?

I love  you.
Not for the broken bits.
Not for the subtle curves that fit so smoothly into mine
Not  for your *******  or your *******
Your thighs or your giggles
Not for your smile (your a clown)
But you,
All love all of you.
From the tips of your fingers
To the bottoms of your toes
From your highs to your lows
I love you

You can say im dead inside,
Im just sick  of  having **** to hide
I don't  have to lie any more you know,
Without  the hate i have  a chance to grow,
Where hate was once a flood, purging the land,
Now its just water falling through my hands

Chest ache
Heart break
God I'll take no more

Head ache
For heavens sake
I cant take no more

You do it for fun
Just brag and then run
I know  your just his *****

So have your fun
I'll  stroke  this gun
And eagerly await
The gore

If you hate me the feelings mutual
Im hating feeling this unusual
Nothing i say sounds useful
Im finding it hard to stay neutral

I love you  but i dont feel loved
I get kissed but i dont feel the  hug
Even though you arms are heavy with the emotions you want to portray.
And the things you say,
Are all good things
And the  ways youve shown me you care.
Are  all true to you

I feel nothing

I hate the emptyness inside  of me that should  be filled with  your love because  there's  a hole  in my chest
big Enough for a dove

To fly  away

uncurl from your ball child
wipe away those soot laden tears
welcome to the new world
where all is here to fear
sons of the apocalypse she wailed
bow down to your fears
welcome to the new world she wailed
welcome to the fear
welcome to the chaos that i have brought so near
uncurl from your ***** you men
bastars filled with shame
bring forth your sins,
and i shall give them names
Crawl out of your festering holes,
and bring out the young
for a man will say anything,
when he stares down the barrel of a gun

so we came in great swavs
and brought forwards all our rot
and smiled as she told us
that the world would forget us not

Don't be afraid
the man says in tears

Its perfectly normal
the doctor winces

You'll feel better in no time
*the therapist smirks

Please
           don't
                   go
for
     I
       Love
                 you
                        So
My
      Mind
               is  
                  failing
but
      my
           heart
                    is
                        falling
for you
                                      *LG

Im  overwhelmed.
My world spins
How  many hours have i been awake now?
Am i the only  one whos sined?
My bed brings me no  delight.  
Rejoice  comes only with the dead
So sing to me your  soft  goodbyes  
As i fill my head with lead

i can hear her giggling from the living room
soft giggles, loud smiles, no more bundles of gloom
shes making the boy smile
making me smile too
because the hay stack ive been looking in doesnt even have any needles
and the path i thought i was following has turned out to be my own ,
i thought i was so lost,
i was so scared that i was alone
but as it turns out,
Ive never been far from home,
i love her,
she makes me love myself
ive never wanted to be with anybody else,
im glad that i found you
because in finding you
ive manged to find myself

Its good to see your tears are done,
Little kitten,
It hurts me when i see them run.
Ima little smitten,
By the way
Your eyes play
Throughout the day, All sleep, no pay.
Keep hidding behind my toes
(Trust me they'll keep you safe)
Keep bristling against my nose
Whiskers and bells and whistles.
Watching your heart fall like a mistle.
Wishing i put up with the gristle..
I hope you fly
And i hope you dont find out untill you try.
To be taken by surprise and see the world from the sky.
To look down from the clouds and see the sparkles in my eye

Vidi Vici  Veni
*L.G

falling is a weird sensation
I've never failed to fall, tripping on the curb of your hip
more over, I've never failed to fall for you,
that first autumn back lit morning,  the day you caught my eye
and the past is a funny game. i made my move ,
never can i step back to change my ways
and yes...yeh..it hasn't been easy
and no...never, would i ever change it,
because  the rapids of my home river have shaped the boat in which i use to sail, my soul has been carved from limestone cliff faces dangled over by tight lipped trees to tired to give me their secrets you are..
you are a thought. a being I've never come by before
your a bend in the river where the current slows..
your a cliff face with my name carved into it,
even though I've never once taken a knife to your surface
you are comfort,
like looking into a mirror i see myself, and for the first time in my life
for the very first time..
I've looked into a mirror and smiled
and sweet heart I'm going too look into your eyes
and say softly that I'm glad,
I'm glad your a mountain that's already been climbed I'm glad its not my flag that rests in the arrow like crest of your ginger scrawled hair I'm glad
because the men who charge to summits leave nothing but a flag
and some foot prints
i want to be the man for you, the man who climbs your peaks daily..
the one who makes sure your looked after,
a forest ranger to preserve your sanity, to make sure your soul although fractured and aching.
can roam free,
but I've ranted now,
ill sign of my love letter with but a drip of blood,
and a Liter of love,
continue your course sweet heart and you wont need to steal  the chest that houses my heart
ill give you the key
*LG

Lost  amongst familure strangers
Holding your foreign  curves
Like homeland  hills
Oceans have grown between us
But luckily i can swim
And i think i know the direction
Your in

doth hate yourself ***,
for an *** with mind is still an ***
flaunting about the property of knowlege,
like every little gasp, saves you from laughing stock
***

doth Bring yourself justification
for beeing such an ***'
and though you seem a *****,
my lady your still a lass


So bring to me the right kind,
of liquid, intoxicating
and sit back and smile, as i lie here,
procrastinating

I am a man
I am strong
I am happy

I am a man, genetic and pure,
but the standards i have been given drive me through the floor

With my job i am strong, but it tires me, i'm warn thin
as your old biker jacket

my poisons make me happy, your like ink in my blood
killing me with sickness

I am falling
I am tired
I am sick


As i fall, trusting my faith to catch me
gravity becomes a fact so real. so defined, that i am calm,
as the concrete hurtles towards me

I'm so tired, my eyes drag closed on State highway one,
going 125 through a steel barrier

I'm so sick, my veins have changed color, my skin is pale
and its all your fault

I am dead
I am dead
I am dead


God i wish i was dead
*L.G

18 months in a brick shed  with a tin roof
6 more in a wood box too cramped  to breathe
Another year
Living in fear
In a room with no lock
And in 3 more weeks
I'll get my own place
No doors that don't close
No windows that don't open

I spent three years of my life in moldy decrepid rot
And now after removing a thot
I find myself in a happy space
A dog named squirt and  a kitchen two steps wide
My girlfriend looking at me with pride
4 months ago I'd never imagine
That today's the day  I move to my own
Mansion

If I shall grow old.
And my clothes hang like ghosts
Just know that once apon a time
I could fit inside my skin

How do you fall  out of love
My heart feels heavy with  your memories
I want to clear some space
And find peace

Im nearing capacity.
Too cluttered  and corupted to care
I cant delete you
All that would be left is fear

So i drown  myself in sorrow
Addictions lust and love
For if im drunk untill tomorrow
I might find myself in love

Every day He lies
To himself and the world around him
He dons clothing too dark for his skin,
He closes his eyes because when they open
He only sees whats inside
You could say hes so blind to it, that he leans on it
Every morning when he gets out of bed Like a crutch
Hes the kind of broken that can never heal
Hes the bundle of sin that will never be forgotten
Hes the ball of problems that forgot how to roll
Hes so...so dead inside

Please **** me

Why is the pain not gone

Why do I still feel like

all  the goodness in my life

Left

When  you pulled the knife   from his flesh

And twisted it into my back

Idle minds  and  weary hands
Destroy dams of flesh
And flood the lands

Dont get hooked.
Im addictive,
Dont take too much.
Im toxic,
Dont use  me often.
Im abrasive,

Dont fall to hard.
Ill catch you,

Elation
Graduation
Ive succeeded
Ive defeated my demons
And summond the evils that pestered me
Just to **** in front  of them gleefully
Im animalistic im my celebrations
I think  i should plan a vaction
Im drunk  on the joy of succeeding
I've not just  bested my goals,
Ive superpassed them
And now ill end my day
With the widest grin

Make it stop
oh how nieve you are
free as a bird
inside a cage
with wings made to fly
from page to page
sure ive burnt papers galore
but my soul, my spirit is no more,
you dont know now,
but you will
the effect you have on me,
no frills
youve made me realize,  that i am two sizes to big for this skin
and my kin ,
im scared
so scared you see,
of this demon lurking beneath me
caged birds dont get to fly to often
its so difficult when without my vice my bones soften
and to be with you is to brake both my legs
and even when my soul pleads and begs.
understand that  to scream at you is to show affection
because i have chosen my direction
to loose myself in you, is to find my way home
and never again,
shall i feel so alone