"selfishly" poems
I just want you
to be happy
but sometimes
and selfishly
I want to be
your happiness
But
'happiness is a choice'
you say
and you didn't choose me
I clung onto the idea
since you made me happy
it would be the same for you
What is happiness now?
where has it gone to?
In time, society has robbed us
the real meaning of happiness
Go on your own way
and pursue your happiness
for your smile, is my smile
your laugh, is my laugh
and I'll be happy
when you find your happiness
because I love you
always have, always will
Mar 26, 2014
Mar 26, 2014 at 5:35 AM UTC
Lairs twist life so it's tasty to the lazy
Powerful to the weak and crazy
Brilliant and seductive to the
ignorant youth
But even in pain, there is beauty in the truth
Even a tiny bit of deceit is dishonorable
For only cowards lie selfishly without preamble
As lies only strengthen a liar's defects
A liar's character, mind, & spirit gains no positive affects
The abuser of the truth paints with disappearing colors
Valuing the canvass at worthless dollars
For once the veil of the facade is lifted
Honesty, integrity and trust can never be re-gifted.
Unhappy are the takers
Or why else be fakers?
But to devastate the essence of the believer
Measures the cruelty of the deceiver
Inner peace with self deception
Is the doing of one's own soul's destruction
However if truth be told
When lies gradually unfold,
Is it better to be the believer
Or the deceiver?
Aug 19, 2015
Aug 19, 2015 at 12:46 AM UTC
it’s unsettling how many people i’ve had to beg to forget me, lately. how many i’ve tried to convince that i really am as insignificant as a stranger you made eye contact with for a moment at the stoplight. for so long i was begging so many people to stay, to keep holding onto me, even if it wasn’t in their best interest. all i wanted was to be selfishly adored. now all i want is to be left alone.
Nov 4, 2014
Nov 4, 2014 at 11:38 PM UTC
Hidden behind my desires.
Fantasies of ecstasy
frustrating me.
My body tempting me sensually.
Sexuality turning on me,
arousing my entity.
My fingers betraying me, ****** my body eagerly.
Probing between my legs relentlessly,
consuming my whole body; selfishly.
Weakening my flesh; this tantalizing energy
claiming the deepest depths of my *****
Scandalous imagery, mentally ravaging me,
seducing me, teasing my lips,
guiding my fingertips effortlessly,
long fingers dip, disappearing;
deep inside of me.
My ***** tightens, the feelings heighten.
Warm liquids drip, stone hard ****
pulling and rubbing it.
Wrist twist,palm grinding against my *****
legs clasp, my insides amass giving way,
As I spray, my exhausted body collapses.
Oct 6, 2014
Oct 6, 2014 at 10:26 PM UTC
Outside of a bar in a North Carolina strip mall, stone cold sober because I am scared to use my fake, I feel drunk as you sit next to me. Perhaps I am. I'd have to be to think maybe, maybe, maybe, when I know, I know, I know.
Your hand brushes against mine, and you're saying the most beautiful words I've ever heard, and the fire in my heart spreads up, down, left, right. But it cannot spread just four inches outside of my body. It cannot set you on fire, too.
We listen to each other and hear two very different things. You are birdsong outside of my window that I am eager to hear; I am traffic outside of your window you've learned to tune out at bedtime.
If there are nine million bicycles in Beijing, then Beijing is my insides and bicycles are your name, because it is written on my insides nine million times. But there are no bicycles on Antarctica. There is no use for them there, just as there's no use for my name to be perched on a straight girl's ribs.
You tell me my weird hobby of listening to French rap music is awesome, that it's so cool that I'm teaching myself three languages, and that you want to be me when you grow up - I laugh, because you're several years older than me. Selfishly I catch every droplet of your praise. I ruminate on it for hours, for days. It means more to me than it should.
My name sounds like a compliment from your mouth. I try not to say yours too often, so you don't grow tired of me being around. If I can't set your insides on fire, I want you to want to be my friend. Even that feels like I ask for too much.
In every scene, I see you in the foreground of the narrative. For me, it would be on honor to be one of your background characters. Narratives are richer with them anyway.
I look at you and you are the Harry Potter movie marathon I wait months for. For you, I am the 2 am infomercial you fell asleep to. But I don't mind half as much as I should. Even white noise has its place in someone's life.
Sep 6, 2018
Sep 6, 2018 at 10:17 PM UTC
I just feel so much guilt,
My words and actions built,
I know, what I did was wrong,
Tried to avoid it and be strong.
Following me has been the truth,
It was hurting like a tooth.
A second more, I could not deny,
Not apologising was a lie.
I'm sorry, from deep inside,
Clearly guilty, my hands are tied.
It was obviously, all my fault,
I have opened my inner vault.
I'm really sorry for my recent actions,
Selfishly searching for your reactions.
What I did wasn't kin,
I don't know what got into my mind.
Something wrong with my psychology,
From my heart I bring this apology.
I know there are no valid excuses,
Negative feelings arguments produces.
I'm really sorry, I truly care,
What I did was completely unfair,
Hope you forgive me over time,
I feel awful about my crime.
Please give me a chance to explain,
What I did was completely vain.
It was clearly way beyond rude,
Completely stupid, I must conclude.
I used words, I did not mean,
I need to stop-acting fifteen.
My actions and words, simply not right,
I'm sorry for my anger and spite.
Please give me a chance to explain,
There must be something wrong with my brain.
My emotions, I must learn to control,
And never hurt you, this is my goal.
I look in the mirror, feel so much shame.
It was my fault, I deserve all the blame.
Just don't know what I was thinking,
With all this shame, I feel like I'm sinking.
All the consequences, I completely deserve,
Can't imagine, where I found the nerve,
I just feel like the biggest fool,
What I did, was simply not cool.
Your forgiveness, I earnestly plead,
Without it, my heart won't be freed.
Please forgive me, I miss you so much,
Beautiful voice and your tender touch.
I agree, I was wrong,
Wish I could, sing a song,
I know you're are mad,
What I did was bad.
Nothing about it, I'm proud,
I was trying to impress the crowd.
Next time I should really thing,
Maybe even see a shrink
What I'm trying to say,
My love for you grow everyday.
We should never fight,
I need to hold you every night.
I've been lucky to have a girl like you,
I'm sorry if you only knew.
Feel so bad, for being so rude,
I'm sorry for messing up your mood.
I promise to treat you like a Queen,
I'm sorry for being so mean.
If only somehow, I could make things better,
This poem's from my heart, not just a letter.
Your inner and outer beauty amaze,
I'm sorry, for my crazy phase.
I wish to give you my entire heart,
Please forgive me, we could make new start.
Nov 14, 2015
Nov 14, 2015 at 12:12 PM UTC
I slide myself between her tenderness.
She trembled from the embrace.
Her shivers soon tamed.
The pain of a pinch,
She's feeling it inside.
Unimaginable pleasures,
refrained from the release.
Nails tearing at my flesh,
her fingers grip, digging deep.
Sensations of pleasure eclipse reality.
Ravenous passions,
we consume; selfishly.
Tension building,
unbearable pressure;
relentlessly .
Her emotions
Eruptions; uncontrollably,
repetitively.
I'm giving her,
the best of me.
Sep 8, 2014
Sep 8, 2014 at 3:00 PM UTC
I've been on the run for 500 years.
I carved a map on my back
of all the places I've been.
It's made up of all the old stars from my eyes
that no longer have meaning to me.
What a shame you couldn't have come with me.
The trees stand taller than the mountains,
growing up into the skies to touch the clouds.
The lady in the lake that pushed and pulled the boats
was a lovely savage.
These lands had no end.
I meet a man that lived on the clouds.
He told me the story of how he invented the stars
and how he cried the rain.
I never did run from the rain again.
I listened to the wind's whisper,
so low only for my ears to hear.
They told me to paint flowers for you.
So I took myself and found your stone.
Quiet, cold, and ever so selfishly was this sight to see for me.
I'm sorry your last breath was wasted on my name.
I have lost you to greed.
I wanted to travel forever with you,
but your state of body did not agree.
I took you from your saver and your bed,
and now I walk a thousand miles on my own.
I look for you every time the sun
falls down,
but knowing I'm lost in the moon's glow.
I would give all for you
to be here with me.
Winning isn't all that fun in
the end,
but now the game is over
and I stand lone a victor.
I painted you a garden of the most beautiful roses.
It's such a shame you'll never be able to see them.
Jul 28, 2013
Jul 28, 2013 at 9:59 PM UTC
i am selfishly missing you
because I know that if you were still here
you'd be dying over
and
over
and
over again with every pinch of a needle.
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015 at 9:02 PM UTC
silently
breaking away
from all these
insignificant
incapacitated
drones
selfishly
plodding away
i drift
ascendent
dreaming of death
and endless rapture
shedding this flesh
that binds us
to the stone
Aug 6, 2014
Aug 6, 2014 at 8:26 PM UTC
I love her.
No not ******** worldly,
But softly, purely , celestially.
Obsessively?
Not necessarily, just completely,
selfishly and I'm sorry.
I love her unconditionally, some say unconventionally.
But they don't understand me.
Yes...I love her.
Most spiritually, asexually, platonically and wholly.
I love her, truly, honestly, musically and poetically...
She doesn't have to love me.
Dec 22, 2017
Dec 22, 2017 at 9:07 AM UTC
Listen
I know I'm not
What most would see to be sane
But you see
I don't see
How faking a love of romance and passion
And beautiful things
Can truly be so bad
If it's the only way he'll stay
Best Friend of my universe
The only person
I couldn't imagine a world without
When he laughed
And then nearly cried
"I don't love you anymore"
I saw the pools of hurt arise
I knew right then his words, all lies
And knew that this was my last
Chance
To keep him in my life
And as I'm selfishly afraid
Of being alone again
I took it
"I was afraid"
I swallow my self loathing away
"Because I love you"
The hope swells, he smiles wide
Laughing, he grabs my hands
"I knew you loved me"
Pang, I shut off my emotions
As he grasps my *******
And slobbers his lips on my own
Boom, my head beats in disgust
Goosebumps rising in panic
My every nerve ending wanting to run
I smile at him when he says
"Tell me you love me"
I feel bile rise, why do I do this?
Is flinging my clothes to the floor
As he leads me to my bed
The necessity to keep my last Friend?
**** why do I do this
Again and again?
Self destruction behavior, big surprise
Right?
But I swear I've never stooped so low
But I've never felt so alone
But I can't recall loving a man
But I've never rejected lust
But with him the touch is rough
But now I'm 3 months pregnant
But it's with a person I choose
But he thinks all this touching is normal
But I can't seem to ever say no
"I love you too"
I refuse to loose you my friend
Not ever again
No matter the cost
Feb 7, 2018
Feb 7, 2018 at 12:51 AM UTC
Someone recently
asked me
what do I
think about
modern dating?
I responded by
saying we live
in a culture mired
in instant gratification,
i call modern dating
fast food dating
high volume dating
low nutrition dating
We constantly consume
But are forever
more
and
more lonely,
we do not spend
the time to build
value in our own
soul,
love in our hearts ,
so we come to a
relationship taking
and taking and taking
instead of giving.
Fundamentally
selfishness is the
massacre of
all relationship,
and our culture
specializing in crowning
self ruler of all.
And selfishly
we surmise that
We are all
Kings
and
Queens
Jul 13, 2018
Jul 13, 2018 at 5:50 AM UTC
Listen my dear daughter, to my first song of caution
Earmarked for you my wonderful sire, come and listen,
That tall old man with white hair all over his head
Standing over there is not good; he is gnomish in the mind
Be careful with him, he is not human in the heart
But a mermaid of Yoruba poetry, just like Thespis of Greece
Even the pecuniary psychopomp of Sweden gave him an accolade
His heart is selfishly full of avarice; he wants everything for himself,
Don’t recite him any of your poetry, lest he spells an abyss
Against your juvenile poetic talent, he will fool you with a gift;
A white sheep or a scarlet goat for your birth day anniversary
Please don’t take it or anything else from him, as nothing from him is genuine
But only machinations of evil spell aimed at mahyeming your talent
Finally to decimate your girlhood and life, this is my caution
For you dear little African girl.
Listen my dear little daughter, to my second song of caution
That short man in a Muslim gear loafing yonder, is suspect
The Muslim beret on his head is merely a smokescreen to aghastly behaviour
He is in no way an avatar of god of love and humane piety
He is a terrorist working with Boko Haram and Algaeda
He is an Alshabab that is bombing young girls in Mombasa and Nairobi
All over Kenya he has killed the young people; his long egret-white sari is not for holiness,
It is merely a nefarious sanctum of grenades, other tools of work in terrorism trade
His loudly prayers, body movements and pocket bursting monies are only a stunt
To have you kidnapped into death conduit, once you goof to join his courts,
His sanctimony is a total picaresque film, (s)heroes of terror the centerpiece
And thus, this is my caution for you dear little African girl.
Listen my dear daughter, to my third song of caution
Those tourists thronging our streets are deadly *** pets, they also skulk ****
Their handsome outlook is not a stamp to any good conscientiousness
They derive pleasure from poverty and *** tourism; they yearn to see a girl in poverty,
Often rarely will they help an African girl, out of milieu of beggarly squalorism,
Instead they go straight for the purse between your thighs,
Regardless of the legacy they leave out of this lewdness, they are showy,
They regret not in their Byronic broadcast of *** and fatherless urchins in the poor streets
Foundation for their further poverty tourism, this is my caution for you dear little African girl.
May 26, 2014
May 26, 2014 at 4:20 AM UTC
Let me tell you the story of my death:
Carving words on the bark of a tree
A poem that means life to me.
Glows through night, my soul delights!
*"Exist beyond my death, oh please...
So I could live in bliss at least."*
But they cut the tree, so mindlessly
Illegally. **** selfishly!
In chainsaw, I was murdered.
*A massacre,
... a massacre of my every being!!*
I'm a ghost that forgot, the best in me
Now writes relentlessly
To relive the words, once killed in greed
I found the "papers", the poems you lead...
Then before me, is some piece of me
they killed.
I died a hero,
Aug 4, 2015
Aug 4, 2015 at 9:03 AM UTC
I wish I could talk the way I write...
I wish I knew how to tell you what's on my mind...
I wish I could...
Because I would tell you that I'm scared shitless to lose you, that I can't help but to selfishly want you for myself at times.
I would tell you that my heart wants to jump out of its chest every time you say you love me, and that I feel butterflies all over my body when we kiss... I would tell you that I wanna hold on to every single moment spent with you and save it like a treasure in an old wooden chest. I would tell you that fighting with you makes my heart ache deeply and that your pains, I feel them too. I would tell you that my heart is in your hands and that I'm scared like hell that you might let it fall and break in pieces... that I don't even want to think of that happening with you...
I would tell you that this distance we're about to experience frightens me... and that my eyes fill with tears when I know it's soon coming. I would tell you that I try to be strong in front of you, but that my soul screams inside as my heart cries in silence... I would tell you that you have all of me, even if you didn't want it; that I love to sleep on your chest because that sound of your beating heart soothes my constant anxiety... I would tell you that I love to wake up before you in the morning and give you one thousand kisses as you awake when breakfast is ready... I would tell you that knowing you won't be around every night makes my heart cry... that my loneliness scares me.... I would tell you that I don't mean to push away ... this is just me coping with it... the distance scares me... I don't want to hurt... I don't want you to hurt... I just wanna tell you that I love you... I'm deeply, uncontrollably, passionately in love with you.
Jul 2, 2016
Jul 2, 2016 at 5:49 PM UTC
Burning from torment as I gaze to his eyes,
Piercing through his soul as I scan nothing but lies,
A total illusion which rendered me vulnerable,
Crimson betrayal let my heart dripped and drizzle.
Feeling the memories alone in the moonlight,
Reminisce the days when we first see at sight,
Such an ache in the heart to think you're not you,
But memories worth the living until you change on hue.
How ironic to think to be in desperate situation,
Seemingly thirst from bliss until the night breaks from dawn,
I spared life on a candle to prolonged it's happiness,
But regret remorse with me as it selfishly shade itself from total blackness.
Here in the plain vast wilderness of solitary,
Heart was throbbing in pain yelling for revenge endlessly,
Though tortured was my heart and silently cleaved,
But my sweetest revenge is just to forgive.
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015 at 4:32 AM UTC
I think you've flown to far,
Somewhere I can't reach,
But dragons are born to fly,
Wind under its wings.
So, maybe, can I request, selfishly?
That you will think of me,
Stuck, Planted, Ground
Beneath my feet
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 28, 2014 at 8:56 AM UTC
i cried yesterday,
though not because i miss you.
i cried for the person you used to be.
i cried over the boy who couldn't sing
(but i loved when you did)
i cried over the boy whose laugh lit up the room
(and i selfishly loved being the cause of it)
i cried over the boy who would do anything for anyone
(even someone as unworthy as myself)
i cried over the boy who
taught me the video games he played on sad days
(and was patient even when i smashed buttons)
i cried over the boy who cried during my favorite movies
(even though some parts were drowned out by electric touch on my skin)
i cried over the boy who believed he would spend forever with me
(but forever is relative, isn't it?)
i cried yesterday,
though not because i miss you
(even though i’m sure you’d like to think so).
i cried for the person you used to be.
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 6:49 PM UTC
The real subjectivity of life is overwhelming;
Prospective consumes our frontal cortex
But there is no escape from this vacuum seal.
We see the faces of our own delight,
The know how of the here and now,
But we are too blind to look past our own perspectives.
Even when we fathom the hearts of others,
Our understandings are predisposed to our own Identity.
Objectivity is a fleeting notion of reality, of truth
and its as though the ground we hold so dearly
Is constantly fleeing from our grasp.
Today we call this individualism,
a disconnect between one's self and society.
But I so selfishly and foolishly believe
that this chasm stems from being lied to so often.
Am I lying to myself or am I being lied to I do no know,
but it is important to understand that it does not matter
that nothing matters, because everything exists in my field of view.
The only question remains: am I correct
Or has the devil made me a fool?
But this does not confirm nihilism
only hints at its initial potential.
Yet there are common truths that are irrefutable
no matter who you are, real or not:
The reality is the here and now,
No matter what ghosts or demons there may be.
They affect the consciousness constantly
indifferently to whether or not they are fraudulent or true.
And my experiences are true, the emotions are radical,
and even if everyone I know is a figment and interpretation,
they still hold a grasp onto my withering heart.
Nov 14, 2018
Nov 14, 2018 at 1:28 PM UTC
Is this how we were mean to live,
to die,
to take care of each other?
The woods and open space.
To observe the ant and its care-free life?
To love nature the way we so selfishly love ourselves?
To caress the earth like we would our loved ones?
Maybe, we secretly indulge in such biological dispositions
by planting flowers in the souls of men.
-m.c.
Mar 8, 2014
Mar 8, 2014 at 4:46 PM UTC
I quit letting you steer my beautiful life,
causing this sort of internal strife
I quit letting you steal a memory from me,
having me escape for a moment selfishly
I quit letting you fester in my lungs
and defending you with my poisoned tongue
I quit letting you be my constant escape,
using you as a bandaid to heal my scrapes
I quit letting you be a part of me
because today and forever I am clean
Jul 13, 2015
Jul 13, 2015 at 12:45 PM UTC
i thought
***
was supposed to be
beautifully passionate
the exploration
of two souls
but what is
***
when it is selfishly
lustful
when all you see
is a hot
body
a temporary
object
and nothing more
nothing below the surface
Jan 8, 2019
Jan 8, 2019 at 11:28 PM UTC