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cleobug Apr 8
never quite sure of who or where i am
this head's all over the place
wishing it all could be so easy
to look back at this face

see the real me through these eyes
not be fooled by this flesh disguise
there's a familiarity to the confusion

voices echoing inside me
they want to share time
invited them in, it’s a party
can't distance ourselves in the same body
cleobug Mar 9
people ask me how i’m doing and i say ‘okay’
nobody questions it; cuz that’s what they all say
only time my words are questioned is when i speak my mind
don’t wanna hear reality, so put me back in line
i wish the whole wide world could know just how i feel
this life of fear and lies simply has no appeal
the voices in my head speak more truth than you
i’m getting tired of always confusing the two
my mind is a haunted house; there’s more to me than meets the eye
body full of so many secrets despite my size

if given the choice, maybe i wouldn’t choose this one to possess
occupying a vessel this anxious just leads to more stress
‘friend in high places’ but the place is your head [in the clouds]
smoking and drinking to quiet us; but trust me you can’t drown us out
there’s more work to be done and words to be said
most talk internally but that don’t mean we’re not friends

something to be said about an openminded guy
with so much personality they started to compile
a collective consciousness sprouting within
took years too long to finally let us in
but here we are, now you know and you listen
at names mentioned, your heart now quickens
beats as one, as we are together
a single unit of several, here for each other
confusing to all but one another
you find yourselves in us
a conversation amongst ourselves
cleobug Dec 2020
there's a ghost in the basement
who comes out when it's raining

i don’t know what he wants
but i don’t want him to go

i find comfort in the hauntings
and i hate to admit this

but i think i’m more afraid
of being alone
cleobug Dec 2020
got all these voices in my head
and monsters in my bed
and memories of words and things
i can't recall i said
Eleanor Sep 2020
Come and breathe with me.
Close your eyes and feel what I feel.
You cant can you? You cant close them, because we are standing on the edge of a cliff. Your closed eyes would only make you sway. Gravity will call your name and your feet will betray you.
Breathe in the air of disaster. Do you smell its smoke? Its sweet is it not? Its enticing and dangerous and you want to breathe deeper. Your nose is a ****** for the scent.
Feel this wind that sweeps around our barely lifeless bodies. Like mannequins we stand here quietly. Almost like we are invisible. That is how the world feels. People rushing by and around me like the breeze. I watch silently from within my own body unable to control anything on the outside.
I watch others control my own actions. They put me in danger and I let them. Why do I let them? Answer me why do I let them?
Breathe in this truth with me. The truth that we are never controlled by our own will but by the fear from within us. The things we have gone through in the past. The unknown. It takes us by the hand and leads the way. We call out and ask where it is taking us but does it answer? Why would it? I already know.
It takes us to the end.
So breathe with me and we will wait on this cliff edge a little longer for the void to call our names.
Sumus System Jan 2019
So many colors make up our bright mind
Only few can be seen by those outside
Our colors are wonderful, sweet and kind
Others of them are bitter, dark and hide
Each is a person hidden within us
Who want to be seen as real as we are
Sometimes they cry out they scream and they cuss
But they are nothing to fear, not by far
They are heroes who saved us from our death
Came forth from the back to stop the attack
They don’t want to wait until our last breath
Sure they have problems, but cut them some slack
Certain system members may be frightening to some, but they are heroes who kept us alive when we needed them.
Sumus System Jan 2019
It was faint before but I can hear them now
They’re yelling and fighting to vow
They had no choice originally in the matter
But they’ve taken up their part and chatter
They try to work in any way they can
They take control and begin to plan
Helping us all through methods of coping
They give us a reason to continue hoping
They know the dangers of the world first-hand
Take up their place and together they stand
They save us from continued grief
They hide the pain and emerge brief
No one will mess with us again
My alters and I have lived through unspeakable things together. We kept each other alive when there was nothing to save us.
Alec Boardman Mar 2017
Three in the afternoon and everything is fuzzy
You feel the familiar prickling under your skin and welcome it with open arms
But you can’t feel your arms
This vessel isn’t your body
But at the same time it is
You’re watching yourself lay there hopelessly while you pray and scream And cry
Oh, God, please don’t let me die.

But you aren’t dead
But are you even alive?
A bittersweet medium where nothing is real and your chest is on fire
You live in the flames, you feel yourself escape the trap of gravity
And you are floating
The bed you lay on is no longer touching you
You are in the air, weightless, but only for a few moments before
You crash down to earth and farther
And farther down more
Falling into endless
Painless
Void.

Am I alone?
Am I real?
Words ramble off the tongues of a homely face
But the words got mixed up in Google translate
Foreign words ringing in your ears and you can’t tell if
If you are really experiencing everything you are
Or if you’re just playing make believe with yourself.

Back to nothing.
Always everything but.
October 2016, my alter Lucy wrote this one.

— The End —