Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
JordanP Jul 2018
Paint me as the villain. Let me be the one who steals you away from Mr. Right. All your friends will hate me yet you will have the most tantalizing attraction to me. I won't promise you it'll be a smooth ride, I can't promise you I won't lie. Lying is one of the things I'm best at, it has to be to be a successful bad guy. There will be fights, days we will hate each other, show each other that hatred with the way we love each other. I won't be your Prince Charming, honestly I have to imagine it gets tiring being a princess all the time. Take a walk on the wild side. There's a reason doing things that are wrong always feels so right. The adrenaline rush of knowing you could be caught and lose everything you treasure makes it that much more fun when you don't. It'll drive you to want it more and more. I'm not saying you should leave the one waiting for you at home. I'm not going to be there everytime you need someone like he is. However I will be there creeping into the back of your mind when you get bored doing the same thing as every other day with him. One text is all it takes I will arrive to pick you up, sure as hell won't be on a white horse or with some fancy carriage though. Climb on in and ride with someone who will make you feel alive for a while. Then once you get your fill go back to your daily life. Keep me on speed dial, I already know the more tastes of the evil life you get the more addicted you will become. Never turn the darkness into your dream. Do not think you have a home in the dark with me. You wouldn't make it here trust me. There's nothing wrong with visiting though. Come on princess let a villain show you what you're missing.
JordanP Jul 2018
I'm selfish. Hell no I don't want you to be happy with him. I don't even want you to be thinking about him. The only guy I will ever truly want you thinking about is me. Sure I'm selfish for wanting you even though I'm not sure you ever even really wanted me in the first place. Looking back at the nights you asked me to stay but I said no because I didn't want it to happen that way. I didn't want you to be able to blame the alcohol for what happened. Those nights are some of my biggest regrets, all I had to do was say yes, stay with you, have a few more drinks, see what would occur. It could've been nothing, problem is it also could've been everything. All the feelings could've poured from your lips until yours met mine in a kiss that sparked wildfires. Walls and clothes could've been shed as we became one heart and one being for even a minute. Could've been the start of forever between us. The only forever I have ever actually planned on. It could've been nothing, maybe a few more drinks until we both just passed out on the couches, music still playing, dog still bouncing around looking to play. Wake up the next morning heads pounding feeling ***** for all the wrong reasons. Memories are all I have left of you. All these words I've spewed onto these pages. He has you though, in his arms, in his bed, in his heart. I'm selfish. It ****** me off that all I have to hold are the same bottles we held those nights. Not knowing if it would've been everything or nothing makes me hate myself more everyday I wake up alone. I don't care if it broke his heart, sent him in a downward spiral, dropped him into this pit I live in while I rose out of it. Give me one more of those nights. One last chance to make everything happen. Let me justify this selfishness by proving to me it wasn't only me who wanted all of it. Be selfish with me for a night, you could love it almost as much as I do. We could live together selfishly. Who needs him, not me and not you. I have you, you have me, we could live selfishly.
JordanP Jun 2018
Does our song come on and make you think of the times we would dance with your head against my chest while you listened to my heart beating along to the words? He was talking about his crazy girl while I held mine. "Crazy girl don't you know that I love you?" I still do even all these years later. "Without you I'd lose my mind." I never realized just how true that lyric was until after those first few months were done and I found out just how truly gone you really were.  When you feel the ***** cover your lips does it remind you of the taste of my kiss? You always wanted me to be more like you, to drown my depression and anxiety in the bottle, that was never my style I felt like I needed to deal with it on my own. Now any time my hand is empty I long for the cold of the glass, it's the only thing that replaces the warmth of your hand in mine. Those moments of ignorant bliss never believing it was only a matter of time until I dropped my straight edge lifestyle desperate for even a few seconds of quiet from my mind. I want to believe it when I tell myself I want you to be happy. Let's be real though knowing he is holding you while I'm a fleeting memory lost in the back of your mind kills me. Every beat of your heart now belongs to him, just like every one of my swigs from this bottle belongs to you. The burn just a reminder of the fire that once blazed between us. When the time comes and you're walking down that aisle will you think of me even a little bit? You will always be my crazy girl just like I promised you. It's a promise you've probably forgotten, for me though it's the only promise I've ever made that will never be broken.
JordanP Nov 2017
People always say that time heals all wounds, give it a bit and the ones who you cry for today will be but a distant memory tomorrow. Sure that may be true for some, the ones who at the moment made you feel like your world was crumbling. You wake up one day and you feel a way you haven't in a long time. A smile sprouts and your heart once again warms. It always feels like the start of your life all over again, it's wonderful. Really though if someone was that easy to get over chances are they weren't one of the real ones. The real ones are a whole different tale. There is no restart to your life when they disappear. You simply get to keep living in the same old hell on earth. Everyday feeling like the one before, dreading the sunrise you once watched together. Something so beautiful bringing you so much pain is tragic. You spend your days just waiting for the darkness to again devour the sky the same way you feel it has your heart and mind. Smiles all have hints of fakeness, things you once loved leave a sour taste, just as the thought of their kiss does. The wounds will close but they're always seconds away from opening all over again. It's nice to think the scars that have been left will teach you to be smarter for the next time. They very rarely do, sometimes they simply make you want it again even worse than you did the first time. Wearing your heart on your sleeve is dangerous when those you are closest to like to run with scissors. Whether intentional or not chances are something is going to happen. Apologies will spew faster than your blood but none of them will help when you start to drown. You struggle to keep your head over. Things you have spent your life swearing against will become your best friends. Bottles and lighters grow to be your life lines one breath, one puff, one swig at a time. One day you will look in the mirror and all you will see is a stranger staring back but sure keep telling me time will heal all wounds.
JordanP Nov 2016
You once told me I didn't wanna get too deep into your world, that it was too messed up and dark. At the time I just tucked back into my shell, buried my feelings back down, tried to move forward with life. All I want is you to be happy even if that means I have to just sit by and watch you go after all these guys who are no good for you. I want nothing more than to pull you close, hold you tight, make you feel like maybe for the first time in a long time everything is going to be alright. When you hit your lowest point I wanna be the one you turn to. Talk to me when you feel like there is no hope, confide in me in a way we would've when we were younger. I will do anything in my power to make you smile, it is far too pretty not to. Let me be the one you come to not only when you are on the edge but the one you think of first when you are happy, confused, excited, anything in between.
JordanP Nov 2016
It's no secret to me that I was never exactly what they would call a Prince Charming to you. Nowhere near close to it actually. I never treated you the way you deserved to be, never put you first or ever really even second. I was always too afraid to let myself open up to you the way I should have. I guess I never really knew how much you had fallen for me at the time, a few times even literally. You were different than anyone I had ever been with, I think it even scared me how unique you were compared to the ones who came before you. I had no idea how to handle being with someone who at the time was so wild to me. The things I considered my biggest enemies you considered your closest friends. You have the beauty of the sky. At your darkest points to others you seem threatening, mysterious, unpredictable. I look at you when your storm is raging though I see a hidden innocence, inspiration, a still unmatched beauty. They see you at your brightest and think the dark is gone forever and it will be all sunny and good from here out. I know though that when it comes down to it another storm is always brewing down the road. They may run when the lightning strikes and your boom your thunder, all I want to do though is embrace you. Look past the bad of right now and anxiously await the passing into peace again. It is in those moments between hell and heaven that your truest levels of beauty shows. A level not many ever get to see because they could never hold on through the rain. We had only known each other a few months when we were together and as amazing as it was I think that could also be the reason it never worked. We were both too young and unknowing, no matter what we thought we knew. Years down the road when I look at you I still see all the good and bad I saw when we were younger but now it all seems worth it. I used to be one of the ones who were afraid of the darkest days, thinking when I found the real deal it would be all sunshine. I know better now though. Without the dark you could never appreciate just how bright the light is and **** is your light blinding.
JordanP Jun 2016
You could be the one who saves me or you could be the one who finally tips me over the breaking point. Either way I wish you would snip that final thread holding me here and let me drop to my personal eternal abyss or catch me as I fall but don't leave me hanging here. Whatever you do do not try to let me down easy and save my feelings. I've had too many people try it and drag me around. I need you to be brutally honest. I have no doubts or wavering when it comes to how I feel about you but I feel like when it comes to how you feel I'm left clueless. You are an amazingly beautiful woman I would give anything for. Talking to you and having you in my life is all that had gotten me through the past few weeks. I will do whatever it takes and anything I can to make sure you get to smile and have happiness in your life. Even if it means I sacrifice my own for it. You give me the feeling that for once in my life i could have found someone who actually cares about me. Maybe someone really does want me to be happy. It's hard for me to even think of how I made it this far without you in my life. Just the days since we met I haven't gotten to talk to you have been some of the hardest days on me. As badly as I wish I could say I'm strong enough to do this on my own I know I'm not. When I'm talking to you though I feel add if I can be a good person for once. You bring out a side of me that wants to be better. Everytime I look into your eyes it motivates me to try and be the man you deserve. You deserve the absolute best and even though I would never claim to be anywhere near it I would do whatever in my power to be closer to it for you. I hate feeling like I did something to drive you away. You are the best thing I've had in my life for a very long time and I am infinitely grateful you ever appeared. I hope maybe I get to have a future with you but if not as long as you're happy that is what matters most to me.
Next page