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Alicia Jul 2016
My entire life, I've been around the police force.
Mommy, Uncle Tony, and Anita have always been my favorite.
My heroes with the shiny cars and badges.
In my eyes, they are reigning champions of
"good officers still exist" during times like this.

I've never seen a storm last this long,
and I've kept my silence for far too long.
I was stuck.
For all I knew was a good officer until my brothers
and sisters were exploited on tv screens and magazines.
Blood seeping down and staining shirts, eyes wide open,
and bodies lying in the street.

Growing up, all I knew was a good officer.
So my world shook when I noticed the bad ones, too.
They make it hard for me to defend what I've always
known to protect me. At some point, the bad ones,
we must ****. And with a corrupt justice system
that dismisses the actions that we see, it gets tough...
For both you and me.
"STOP ******* KILLING US," we scream.
But no matter how many octaves we reach,
they still aren't listening. And we are left to wonder,
"Who's next: you or me?"

We make posters with blank spaces,
prepared for another one fallen.
But it's apparent that they refuse to see
that our people are hurting; and that
the chains they put on us not that many years ago
are still bound to us as if they are the latest accessory.

I didn't celebrate the fourth this year.
My people are dying, and here I am breathing
and hoping that anyone near and dear isn't affected by this mockery.
"Black on black crime is a real thing." No denying that statement
but why say that first knowing that some of the ones
we are told to trust don't want to see you free?
Do you understand that any black man could be next?
Even though I'm a woman, ****, it could be me.
My *****, are you listening? Did you get word?
Homie said, "Set your clock back 300 years!"
How about that for a rude awakening?

Quit telling my people that this **** here is an illusion.
You wanna be "a *****" so badly?
Cool, my *****, this is our reality.
We out here dying every day, b.
Pictures of dead bodies and videos of the crime scene,
mothers and children crying.

I never know what to expect.
I'm just praying I don't get a call saying (insert name here)
died at (insert time here) for their melanin radiating
and minding their business.
#JusticeFor___: Trayvon, Sandra, Kathryn, Sean, Eric,
Rekia, Amadou, Mike, Kimani, Kenneth, Travares,
Tamir, Aiyana, Freddie.
Alton and Philando with six shots to the chest.
****, y'all know what's next and I'm so ******* tired.
I will say their names unapologetically
because my heart can't take
my people's hearts tearing at the seams
from the mutual pain we are experiencing.

Black kings, I will pray for you.
Black families, stay whole.
Black children, alive and unborn, I love you.
Apparently: a wallet, sleeping, Skittles, a cellphone,
loud music, cigarettes, cigarillos, shopping at Wal-Mart,
toy guns, failure to signal, CDs, and reaching
for your license and registration can get you all ****** up.

I've never seen a storm last this long.
I've never seen the good officers be seen as the criminal.
I've never seen a people so desperate and anxious
for light at the end of a tunnel...
Until the bad cops thought it was okay
to play illegally and get away.
I wish the bad police officers weren't overshadowing the good police officers out there... Especially because I know so many OUTSTANDING police officers. And I hate seeing my people be treated so unfairly. This hurts.

No audio... Yet.
Alicia Apr 2015
I looked for temporary satisfation when your love
was absent. I understand it may be selfish of me
but waiting for its return is like waiting for the last
autumn leaf to make way to the earth -- the beauty
of summer fades, and Mother Nature loses her youth
as the arms that reach the heavens slowly die.

Truthfully, one could not forget intimate kisses shared
in silence, and the voice that has resonated in the mind
as the sweetest lullaby. If only it was possible to find joy
within the pain. Although laughing at such misery could
ease a weary heart, the perfect love still has too strong of
a hold to let go of the affection it has received.
No audio.
Twitter: @the_monAlicia
Alicia Apr 2015
I pray that your soul finds the comfort it deserves, and
that your inner strength makes way to the surface. The
shackles from the pain you've experienced want to restrain
your growth, and you cannot let them get away with such
a thing. Within you lies the fight of a God-fearing warrior.
With such power, you were born to be a force to be
reckoned with. May you never be disheartened for better
days are approaching. The moment you break free from
the chains of negativity, your spirit will return to its
peaceful ways.
No audio.
Twitter: @the_monAlicia

Once again, I apologize for the delay.
Alicia Apr 2015
I gave my all to a person even with an exhausted soul.
Time after time, I made myself an afterthought for the sake
of his heart. Unfortunate events proved that he did not have
the heart to do the same.  I freely gave myself to a man that
confused true love with lust. My selflessness entwined with his
selfishness, and my love slowly became suppressed from being
mistreated. With this, I know the importance of giving less love
to a loveless being. They are not aware of what they have when
their pride is what they live for.
No audio.
Twitter: @the_monAlicia
Alicia Apr 2015
"I'll be back," he said to me. Foolishly, I believed every
falsehood that came from the lips I once kissed. Little did he
know that those words were powerful beyond belief. Behind
closed doors, his selfishness had a hold on my soul and took
the life it withheld with ease. Not once did I complain because
with the beauty of love followed pain.

I never understood why I settled with a lie. More than twice,
my intuition told me that he didn't deserve an ounce of me.
That he never deserved a heart that gives selflessly. That his
negativity would get the best of me. But this experience reminded
me that every person has their season and it ends for a reason.
So I have embraced my mistakes, and I will love myself selfishly.
No audio.
Twitter: @the_monAlicia
Alicia Apr 2015
The truth is that I love you, and that
I always will. Helpless and hopeless
romantics dream of love like this. For
the longest of times, I dreamt of the
perfect lover. I wondered how much
sweeter life would be if I found myself
in the arms of the man I love. The longer
I waited and every mishap along the way
led me straight to you. I, now, yearn for
the passionate kisses you place upon my
lips. I live for your steady breaths that
give my restless soul peace. Hearts like
yours are the reasons why I remained a
believer.  Your warmth never goes astray,
and your faith gives me strength. Although
each heart withholds the same amount of
adoration, theirs will never be like yours.
No audio.
Twitter: @the_monAlicia
Alicia Apr 2015
If there are days that you feel that the power of my love
may be too much to handle, I apologize for the discomfort
it is bringing. For the heart my higher being so graciously
gave to me was meant to be experienced by you.

I was born to express my passion in the most intimate of
ways, and my presence is meant to be felt whether or not
we are in the same space. So it is expected that you embrace
my form of being.

If your spirit is not rattled by the depletion of my energy,
and if your mind is not frazzled by the idea of this love
no longer existing, you do not deserve to experience the
positive vibrations I am giving.
Twitter: @the_monAlicia
No audio.
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