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sometimes my ego overpowers my mind
therefore i muddle
with a mind-body duality
all i have it a ego-mind duality
but i find a distinction between mind and body
instead of a duality i find
a dichotomy:

i'm looking back on yesterday's
transcendental
and looking forward to the same deja vu transcendental
when the Boss will play his second
show:

he just shouted the following words
on repeat: DO YOU FEEL THE SPIRIT!
DO YOU FEEL THE SPIRIT!
DO YOU FEEL THE SPIRIT!
i was also amazed by my coworkers
talking a bout Biblical things:
like how Lilith was the first wife
of Adam
and Eva is just a cover story...

no sonic hangover headache after a gig
transcendental
i used to drink too much then smoke
now i drink a little and smoke a little
and finish the night of with writing
and a little bit more drinking
and i think i found equilibrium
and as i went to the brothel:
i massaged my girl into telling me about her
past:
where there big *****:
i know Jason, I know Jeff and i know Peter...
these are the three men in my life too
especially Jason:
the drug addict father of my Reyla
who died prematurely...
i think i went to the brothel to get some
spirit...
some taboo and some
i just want to write about my personal life
and have a friction-fiction: autobriography
is FRICTION-FICTION
like there is science-fiction:
there's the beggars belief at all that's been
announced by humanity:
it beggars belief with a little helix

                 of poem
                 like so
                 someone who she could just talk to...
someone who she could just talk to...
someone who she could just talk to...
someone who she could just talk to...
Bruce gave me the spirit:
which was her New Jersey American
borrowed from Poland and Puerto Rico
and sent to Polynesia...
and i'm supposed to go over there
and wake up a sleeping volcano
like all that cinematic spark of ***
the French looked so pale pale pale
pale with their idea of how to open
the Olympic games...
then again maybe some French speaking
people are reading me
and 100 years when the translations
of these words appear
and first Poland since that's where i have
my serpents tongue and the Tree
i perch on: YHYH: yahyah...
no more yahweh:
just yahyah:
to compliment Allah: YHYH...

i went to the brothel and ended up massaging
a ******* to sleep...
i went to the brothel and ended up massaging
a ******* to sleep...
i told her: i walked out with a LIMP BISCUIT
of a ****
a Sargent McVitties dipped in Afternoon Tea...
in'shalla biz-mc

                      so i massaged and it was like massaging
Reyla's body...
she was 20 years old and her body was
that of Reyla's:
Reyla's proportions:
i think i was making a Baptism
to avert your eyes
should you imagine me ******* your daughter:
all that pain i understand
but i really wanted to show you
the nightmare of me even thinking!
even thinking! that i could have *** with your
daughter: imagine!
i don't have to: i walked through the nightmare!
i went to the brothel
looking for a Reyla-body-type:
and ******* = priest
******* = priest:
i am Catholic! i'm never going to be a convert:
a PROSELYTE!
i was making confession!
this is how a Catholic performs confession!
not in the Church! not to a man!
i was confessing to a woman
about... oh: you know! another ******* woman!
i went to the brothel to:
the church is off limits for me!
the church is off limits for me!
i can't enter the church!
my church is the brothel!
find me there: confessing to women
with a limp **** because i found
one special one...
i went to find a Reyla-android de facto:
in situ: minds detached:
both: bodies in despair:
not necessarily one sided:
i didn't get my rocks off...

               i'm a man and she's not my body
type: she's not mother to become
matriarch
she's just a maiden
and i don't like Valkyries...
i'm not aroused by them...
Reyla is a Valkyrie and i need
a hot juicy momma:
i need an URSULA...
i want little girls and little boys to flourish:
i'm getting paranoid again:
i was not briefed at work!
i know how to talk to drunk people
i allow for personal space breaches:
this drunk and drunk me
we danced
we had body man body testing
other confessional booth:
the Coliseum:
my church is a no go zone
i repent in the brothel
and confess
then i pass on the information of what
i learned in the Coliseum...
that's how i operate:

the Paris Olympics opening ceremony:
i love that city
all my love belongs to romancing
Paris:
there: i want to be buried and begin
life again as Tree:
then a mutation transit: by-come-time:
to supervise allowances
in spirit the lifespans of insects
then squids and dull dug out
dumb faces of rocks personified with scratching
like petting cats:
all smiley...

             so i basically couldn't **** Reyla:
i have a **** lock on a teenage:
petite girl: weird body shape...
with prostitutes that sizes and shape i can massage:
with the girl i can bear wrestle:
maybe this girls playing sport is gay:
just gay:
maybe she just needs the scent of male hormones...
maybe grandma: move move!
let Matthew come over...
mum keeps her ostrich and blah blah
they talk and talk and talk...
talk: grandma! they're talking all the time!
maybe Reyla:
i see a gilded path in wheat fields:
later by humans grappling with sun turning
the semi-copper hue to tinge:

         Mary Harrington: funny laugh...
reminded me of Stephanie...
worked with her last night:
do i work many venues?
blah blah... then a twitch: i could tell she
was a *****
a federal...
           she acted funny in the elevator
with all the other black guys...
i didn't pick up the origin of the conversation:
but i think the black guys
were insinuating:
you're super intelligent:
you just met your super intelligence guy
and there was no immediate crush:
but it was there i was showing off my toy boy screen
of the compact smart phone
i really thought i might see Karl Ove Knausaard
in the crowd:
dancing in the dark: i seriously can't finish volume 6
i can't finish the Pickwick Papers
i just can't: i want to leave those books for
retirement...

yes, Edie, i ****** Reyla's body size: well: ******:
are we clear about that i find sexually
arousing? can grandma know:
i need for the matriarch to know
that i couldn't **** a Reyla type:
i had to massage a body type...
experience: wholesomeness:
the rustic belt of a woman is her personality
and volume:
and all that volume of hospice...

         can the matriarch just feel safe
by my limping around Reyla
and keeping her as a child
actually discovering myself as child
i have aged with all that's to be learned
but that last bicycle shop in Hornchurch broke me!
oh... we haven't ordered spokes since
the pandemic...
at a different shop: shh... Halfords:
the bicycle technician will be back in 2 weeks:
young kids behind the counter
actors of no-profession...
  
  gigging it out... each spoke replacement:
cheapest at $15... but the guy replaces the spoke
and moans
wants to be out of business:
because the inner tubing where you inflate:
the ******:
is not protruding
and he didn't put the ******* inflatable in correctly!
moans! but it's so easy to do!
yes... and today i invested in a tool
that's used in removing the cassette
so i can get past the guard
and replace the spoke...

the Boss: i can fix my own bicycle
i could get Ross' ******* bearings fixed
if i was given enough time with you and Reyla
and feel like a father
than feeling this horrid prolonged awakening
of being a son!
do you understand me!

do you hear me?!
i don 't think so:
i think i have to interrupt you sometimes:
you need to hear me!
i don't think you sometimes hear me!
you didn't hear me
when i said why i went to the brothel
and looked for a Reyla
and said: this ******* had bruises
on her ***:
she wasn't just working the brothel
she was making grotesque movies on the side:
unless she just like: clearly no:
she collapsed under her own body:
but i couldn't possibly...

and then transcendental happens around me:
the phenomenon of the monism Chapel...
if i can't enter the church:
**** me: i need to find myself a Chapel
of the phenomenon of monism...
given that monism needs a partner:
to compensate there being not dualism:
the ego and i think
ha ha: that's how ancient Latin becomes
translated into modern English:
the ego i think
therefore?
the ego therefore an ego
to contradict Descartes...
definitely in one's mind: so horridly so:
or? indefinitely in one's mind...
best...
since also definitely in this world as a temporal
impasse of perfect timing:
but also so indefinitely in this world since
about to die...
but none of such joy among gods:
gods are non-transcendental creatures
who sometimes become mortals at their perils:
but they can't seem to help themselves:
mortality is a jealousy of the creation
while the creative immortalize jealousy
and so jealousy creates the immortals...
and blah blah...

                                 me and Boss Bruce...
my American girlfriend:
i never thought i'd get one:
had an Australian one a Russian one a French one...
oh i can make her jealous too of the creviv
mega shlong...
but talk? no talk?! talk... no talk?!
it's like having ***:
i detested bilingualism in the bedroom:
it was like having an ****:
it would be nice for the children:
3 tongues perhaps 4 to share...
but in the bedroom?
Hell!

i speak 2 she speaks 1 isn't that enough?
it could have worked with Promis
but then i wasn't really, honestly:
excited about her:
Samuel did tell me what i was already
thinking: Tweety Bird...
seriously! that was just that:
she was the fresh blood from Australia
and i was the lurch the sneer
the Ugly Duckling with the girls
in high school then i grew my hair long
and blah blah
but she did: does: look like a caricature:
Tweety Bird...
and she was tall: 6ft... i was the only available
6ft3 in the vicinity:
we only dated because of reality
and how compatible we were: in the dimension
of Darwinism... of youth...
youth, madness, learning:
and the basics of preservation:
trans-humanism: very much so...
i couldn't find a sparring partner of a good conversation:
Promis wasn't certainly enough for me...
and someone like that:
who you don't talk to more easily or just about
right when having ***:
will have babies and then deplete the curiosity for
vivo per se...
i saved Promis from making a bad mistake...

Ilona made the bad mistake
while Isabella was like a daughter...
my first and my vampire of testimony for
fighting for an IDEAL
to be later replaced with IDEALISM...
if the IDeal was Isabella
then EDie is the idealism...

                hard to conflate me with cheating
investing
the VERCRUX: need i remind?
i was never a fan of HArry Potter:
but i'm a fan of some ideas in the story:
notably the HORCRUX:
which is?

        the horcrux is your soul: hidden:
of the people you have killed...

a vercrux: verily: verily: the soul
you have hidden in people you have loved!
which they turn into horcruxes
with the items they still possess that
once you owned.

i have several: both of Edie and Reyla:
Reyla hid a proper horcrux:
a golden bracelet with an R hanging off it:
she played a game beyond chess
and i too found it fascinating how she behaved
in a way i behave with a computer
model
when playing AI of chess:
AI of chess is different to the current AI...
post-office of the internet of the algorithm
that's what current AI is...

the death of the encyclopedia is AI
nothing more...
just as the algorithm was the death of the encyclopedia:
even bots have their chores...
the set list:
1. lonesome day
2. seeds
3. my love will not let you down
4. no surrender
5. ghosts
6. letter to you
7. promised land
8. hungry heart
9. spirit in the night
10. reason to believe
11. atlantic city
12. youngstown
13. long walk home
14. e street shuffle
15. nightshift
16. racing in the street
17. the river
18. last man standing
19. backstreets
20. because the night
21. she's the one
22. wrecking ball
23. the rising
24. badlands
25. thunder road
(encore)
26. land of hope and dreams
27. born to run
28. bobby jean
29. dancing in the dark
30. 10th avenue freeze-out
31. twist & shout
32. i'll see you in my dreams

more so than Bob Dylan...
i really started to believe in music again:
i've ******* into failing
asleep on a loop
from Christopher Young's Something to Think
about from the Hellraiser soundtrack
to now mesmerized i quit music is nothing
fun but a cognitive classical
when there was ever a convenient fireplace
of the spades and soap of t.v.

bad idea Boss: to drink and smoke a joint
later:
can't experience the joy of my girls
my girl...
good to interject drinking with some spike of
the weeds
in the water i dwelt
and in the fire i dwelt and in the earth
but Boss: your soundchecks sound better than
some bands...
notably the headache AC/DC men of your age:

Hans Zimmer and the sardaukar chant...
too much Mongolian...
beer and rock and country jazz and some wind
i just wanted to thank New Jersey and
all the Home Counties like
Essex is New Jersey...

white boy beyond blues
and you know the black boys in the team
responding to bad cue-ing: past Q U E E U Q U U e
at least he didn't play: born in the FSA (federal
states of america: because
Hawaii is post American bordering
old daddy Japan and Polynesia my lost continent
little dots on the map
where one mountains and rivers and great cities
grew...

i'm starting to believe in music once more:
as i believe in whiskey
and marijuana
and it's no good drinking 70cl
then smoking:
Adolph Wintertime
Autumnal farts and copper for gold
in the glee of finally tired
spring young teen waking
summer us our lot
autumn this last attempt
to venture into the winter of sleep..

weird sort of experience:
couldn't sleep from 6am and then came 12am
and i was not buzzing
just quizzed:
no Bob Dylan is not as relevant
or... well Tom Petty...
                      
so i updated my mobile: put up personalized
photographs of Reyla and Edie
and i realized that
well: each time i was checking the time
i was looking at pictures of you two:
four to be exact:

he didn't play human touch...
but this was Thursday and not Saturday:
maybe he'll do the Red Hot Chili Peppers
Special of two set-lists...
and instead of Dancing in the Dark
he will play Human Touch...
i'd have an ******...

every time i was playing with my phone to find
a watch
i realized i was showing pictures
of Edie and Reyla to my coworkers...
and something became translated that otherwise
would be simply: mentioned:
those three ******* wanted to go for a cigarette
break: me and ... stayed behind..

strange to believe in music again:
no turn pop and bugglebum bubblegum sweetheart
pop songs of Taylor:
how salvaging the ancients with Brie Sunshine...
for once i left a gig
without a headache without that fog of sound:
drowning letters in the form
of music:
stressed beside the quest for semblance
of silence:
by the quantum of each letter
sung, spoken: thought of...

Taylor does terrible gimmick storyhours:
no drag queens??
Bruce was: 3 hours solid:
all attired in a half missing suit
just a shirt
and that frock of bullet finding
or buttons piercing...
parading bulls too...
and all the escapees of:
my constipated verses
with reading Hemingway...

             Walt Whitman and Bob Dylan
Ernest Hemingway
and Bruce Springsteen...
this idiot on a bicycle: this "job" in the making
was close to making me late to work:
one wheeling down the 103 route
from Petits Lane
to North Street on the A12...
his friends abandoned him:
the boys on the bus asked if they knew him:
some did: problem child:
just so pride of morality:
as most of should have been
that young and reckless: ambitiously nihilistic:

that was the same day?
****...
i switch off and suppose i switch on...
tough cheese:
somehow Parmesan
in Pomerania...

             dearest, i find music again:
i didn't have to allow a faking of needing
the gigging repertoire
of familiar songs...
the song remains and i know the burden
of genius of the insatiable demand of PRINT
send ERROR...

i came home
by allowing my body to speak get touched
this impeding summoning that
requires us all to veto the democracy of
living with the chastising via the toppling
vitro empire with
mort in vivo: death in glass...
best to keep the vitro pristine:
like German concern for purity in beer:
no need to give them 2nd whereabouts within
the confines of German men liking African women...
sorry but i have other fetishes...
south American: Arabic... olive skinned...
flaying...
asking questions...
brick
by brick
ghosts with
echoes
for brains:

3.5h talk
how must i:
advocate a counter
temptation:

an anti-temptation:

talk in haiku
get a real, haircut...
proper beard trim
Hey Reyla:
ugly papa bear is here
to see you scare you:
vaginas abrupt!

some fauna?
i'm still high
talking about vaginas
and life
i think and i think
and it just bothered me
how adept females are
to feminism but
so backward of Descartes...
not in some insolent critique
of purifying reason:
if man is accomplishing
the critique of pure reason
then it's the end result
of woman's purification of reason
to give: critique...
find yourself, young man, a woman:
for the seismic necessity of escaping the
schizoid parallelism of the Theusarus
Rex: bone dead X Thesaurus...
i thought i spelled that correctely
the first time round... no?

oh: AI ha ha... me autocorrected itself
i put on m'ah MUFFS
and i sank into an aquarium of:
finally! i can hear silence!
you think that i can't mold Reyla?
fine... i'll scare her...

      i'm still high from that 3.5h while
my mother paraded herself faking
all her ailments
seeing her son happy
Samoan: Bra...
burn them! the bras! burn them!

******* spokes: ******* Hornchurch:
whatever bus:
some American in poetics
to mind the minute details like
that's a pathway to eternity..
KURWA not KUŚWA:

different punctuation stress...
RWIJ! or rather: R'WIJ!

             R' = Я

ja mysle: wiec ja dodam...
i think: therefore i'll add.
i don't see how the already
established of thinking is far
removed from being...
thinking doesn't precipitate
into being...
there's: no: "magical thinking"...

   she's still on Descartes: i'm on Kant
and Heidegger
that's a perfect matching...
it's pickle-juice... harmony met...

i think is no proof
since it gets churned into abstract:
"i think" that becomes
in the existentialist coding: "i" and "think"
coefficients dueling
with the secondary abstraction:
i think of the abstract:
i am the abstraction...

  so this gay lover movement
is so *******... ordeal of the chains of taboo...
this gay pride movement is so low brow
it ought to be treated as a mustache...
******: i assume...
pre? pre out the window?!

you have a Cling-On spot of bother?
this girl gonna jack-***
her way into salvaging Rodeo and n blonde
and all that glass....

m'ah'ah god the Cartesian girls:
Lebanese yup slurp not sorry:
the Watermelons Levant Indiana Jones:
what lasting ordeal
am i to succumb to...    i ask i ask i ask...

on o chleb, panie: ito: ruszt!
daj znać!
moja skarga:
nie ich!
to wio!
ito!
      raz! dwa! trzy!
           harry harry sorrt sorry!

schnell s h nell! schnell!

when i was a child i was tasked
with a teacher to write a poem:
i wrote one: Eskimo stance....
about a beard
dying on a bear
in the Arctic...

then i wrote a paranoid poem:
in the gender exclusive
paranoia i to they become....

now i just write poems and forget
why i write to begin with...
children are cruel....
children: O: so wheel: the cruel:
like how th=hat affair at the beach:
dirt grass the
death head sputniks:\
not a pretty sun-dance kid:
but.... girls being girls...:
unlike boys...

chaos is simple:
order is rather difficult...
from the brothel to a child...
imagine my eyebrows:
in that variation of a trans-
-formation....                  )+                ++(
i sign to the body eclectic:
hardly... anything associated with the zing
and zigzag of electricity:

i have a spare hour in the afternoon
and i made a good enough judgement
call to go to my usual barber
shop without my usual barber:

closed my eyes and sat back:
waiting for a tingle akin to the defrosting
sensation of a dentist putting on
his latex gloves and shoving his
fingers into my mouth:

maybe it was me looking at an old
man bewildered as i was
finding a younger man at a bus stop
choking with impromptu rap
and huh? met a huh?!
by then there was no genius spectacle
just a common cold: case:

of those i love: hmm: slow drilling sensation:
humdrum... humdrum...

why is it that music has become
so: dissatisfying...
i still make quantum leaps of memory
thinking about locking Reyla up
in my "castle"
while me and Edie go out to
conquer and misunderstand London:

highbrow my ***:
if i'm going to a German opera
i expect the opera to be in German...
i don't understand: by now: satire:
of having translatable efforts
and abstract postmodernism blah blah...

you had about 30 odd (impossibly so)
flirting with the stage
holding pieces of paper
running around like headless chickens
insinuating the imitation of:
a flurry of birds...

the phantom did appear:
by the interval while the culturally flabbergasted:
astonished... cooing wows and woos
because that's: about right: the "money's worth"
brigade sat through
the excruciating domain
of... oh... let's say...

google search: algorithm testing:
serial killer with pins in ******* before execution:
Half Berg Fosh...
well: that was me: but i wasn't getting
enough sadomasochistic "flavor"
to want
demand or need to sit through another
let's say: half a penny's worth quarter
of an hour...

something grey and -ish and subtle like
a slug that's not a snail
cannibalizing itself...
but music and cinema:
opera: what is there to be celebrated
with this: vagary:

i used to soothe myself into sleep
(perhaps finding dreams,
it's not like i can, simply, conjure them
with rabbits from top hats)
utilizing music:
now... i'm looking for insomnia and
her snoring
but maybe: justifiably so:
there's...

        i knew the guy sitting next to me:
was going to get a haircut sooner before
i was
a beard trim is an added expense: expanse...
talk of football and how:
well this player didn't do this,
this player was ****
poor result...
and i'm thinking: but there's so much
world and other worldliness out there
there are so many other sports
you can delve into: appreciate:
why succumb to just mere soccer
and get yer ******* hammers or cannons
or cockerel tattoos: like:

i just don't understand
by fault or non-mistaken...
it feels like the glue of society is running
dry and even if a fly should
sit on it: the sticky property of glue
are just not there:
there's this: dystopian: miasma...
this: everything is just dandy
just... reminiscent of the later stages
of the 20th century being:
underdeveloped in preserving continuity:

but the spectacle is still there
while i'm thinking about crowd control
and it's just a base repertoire of
clueless rhetorical venturing to
speak while also doubly-speaking
using sign-language that's imagination
curtailing: nothing cryptic about
it just explaining:

a wall of people vs a sea of people
and focusing on:
creating a river of people...

and to think of how many children i could
have had that could have become
the prodigal sons the bus-drivers
and anatomy specialists of a proper brunch
and some other unspectacular
fractions of my DNA... maybe...
just the right sort of punctuation
to alleviate my otherwise missing
subject matter... since it's of no concern
(by now)
given there's no need to use ink
or paper
and i can just summon the almighty
technology barons to ensure i have
enough democratic space to
leave my spew to fester and wound
and wind up: no wind?
wind up... no whining?

WYND as opposed to winding up:
that why why why is just jitters and hot air
i want to write something delightful
like a:

hmm: quietly in the kimonos...
a Jane Austen saga: compilation of:
everyone introducing each other and themselves
all proper and courteous with
Mr Fethrington: Mrs Allowancekeep...
Mr Jeffrey Juicesor:
Ms Heavenlywait...
Baron Oswald: Herr Fritz...

           so we end up scribbling weaving scribbling
how half-baking dough looks like
but not for any other circumstances
but the allowance of a ****** 100 years from
now:
because by now conversation
without to a saving inkling of intimacy
is just your standard: hello, the weather,
haven't seen you in a while...

lisp doctor: a microcosm of imitation with
the cashier
past the self-checkout she was too busy
so i went to the tobacco stall and that
usually casual: oh i haven't seen you in a while
and in the most detail:
like some 19th century parody of pre-Victorian
stiffness and:
a man will become exasperated:
enamored: by a simple touch of the fingers:

ooh! ooh! so much LGBTqx+z taboo bashing
now i feel like i'm on brain-freeze mode
but if so much is permitted
and there are no restraints: no gravity of ***...
just random bishboshing about
like watching paint dry on the wall
or agonized with plentiful seeing a tumble dryer
spin spin spin O spin spin O spin...

i think by now me and  JILL MCDONOUGH
can talk about *** like everyone talks
about ***
in that *** as this great ambivalent allowance
of testing both sea and lake of
thirsty for more sea *** of heterosexuality
while the supposed calm of sweet water ****-erotica
at least in my mind
the gay intellect is real
rather than stages of fetishes, fiction, daydreaming...
Harlequin novellas my grandmother
used to read:
at least my great-grandmother expected
to be a nun but no nunnery she got...

so this, my meager half *** half want half:
i halve halves and therefore: presto: hey! quarters
because: just: *****-nilly super-Filly...
there's this sense of a long goodbye
while all things electric and plumb are just
fine as long as there are bus drivers
and airplane pilots and cashiers
and as long as death does not overpower
the living with some tumultuous brainstorm fakery
of:
       this decadence all around us:
this hiding of illness and faking: and eventually dying...

then some splendor of the misnomer hyperbolic
comes along and one begins to chant:
that shovel is not a fork
that fork is not a spoon
that black is not black
but is red
and that Eiffel Tower is supposed to be
a glorified scaffold monstrosity
enshrined on the horizon of Kuala Lumpur
in bamboo!

but i can return to the casual, boring,
tongue borrowed from everyday...
or i can savor these impromptu escapades
into semi-nonsense...
but shh... it was hardly the prompt scribble
for some rhetorician to scramble over:
this is not persuasive language:
i've already persuaded myself thus far...
what's a little more, beside the already itching
scalp from the barber's treatment to
make me look civilized and not spooky...

MFA... fine arts...
   seems to me a bit like how men pass laws:
unlike the laws without whims
unwavering like the tall building the ledge
the cartoon of stepping onto air
not falling for a second...
the judgement surrounding: the critique of:
the appreciation of:
then back to the world of laws
and those men constipated themselves:
the sound whimsical ordeal:
best to stay away from the courts and the art
galleries
since you might end up disappointing
by being disappointed by somehow not
being appreciative enough:
not enough: force-feeding turkey before
the advent of the great corruption...

like religion it's always a case of:
i say what you don't say
and that should be best: for both of us...
supposedly not, the, case...
well: it's not even supposedly not
and more a: suppose so...

(i would gladly just delete this
but there's some use, even for something
mediocre as this).
this is: ρ2=a2 cos 2θ or ρ2=a2 sin 2θ:

linear: like any wording of an equation:
rho squared equals
a squared
cosine 2 x theta
or...

rho squared = a?
not b?
quantum ****... i live only once:
i get it..
a squared sin
() () ()
)(
()
)(
sinus captivity: within the confines of history
there is no leftover smell:
there's no scent of the times of Victorian
London: esp in the east end...

TCHNLGYˢᴹᴿᵀ

it's almost a logo: but i found myself
clearly a Luddite...
i'ay'ck...

           graffiti of year zero:
so, these things are connected like the ergonomics of
the electron:
clouds of weaving
this: oh my curse this potency:
i said
3 for Y
4 for H
5 for W
4 for H: 3 + 4 = 7
+ 5 = 12
_ 4 = 16: + not + = - _
i'm speeding to making wording mosaic
Chopin: believe me:
the music is a curse a cross like no other:
Christ Irrelevant with
Antichrist Irreverent...

           by now i call upon my darkest sloth
that's the guardian of eyes
and that of death...
i implore the language of some other god
to combat this god of plagiarists
and scuttling thieves..

B8... just watched a reclining arch
of a man
only fathoming sleep...
i saw a dirt a pre-
of ash splendor
i saw who i was
when this single mom and trolly
peered into my eyes past
my sunglasses and knew
who was looking back: ergo nihil
how i dispose of ego cogito
to become ego sum
via NIHIL and not via  ERGO...
cogito nihil sum!

cogito nihil sum!

my intellect is a proud
faction: AXS: axis:
i'm reading out the LAtin with the ABjad
i will make this year 0
the year of the quake...

i will not invest in thinking as this mortal
diabolical, demented wish fortune:

i have one equation though...

∞ > 1 < ∞
∞ < 1 < ∞

there should be 4 avenues within
the confines of the 3 dimensions...
i mean: how can you begin writing
infinity with any number
but there are two letters you can
use: o
                 o
   o
              o             o                o

you can begin writing infinity:
the rest is arithmetic: no?
1 + 1 = 2
but a deeper Kantian beyond
the 1 + 1 = 2: synthetic a priori...
analytical a priori?
ask me: when i'm drunk:
about how much you love me...
give me eternity: you want the squalor:
we SYNTHESIZED LETTERS AND NUMBERS
as AID TOOLS
WE had some push and shove
to see and analyse LETTERS and NUMBERS
and numbers in letters rather than
letters in numbers...
VI / IV...
                   is?

         break for me: write in the diary:
20th July 2023 she had her first period
now i'll turn this dragon in a chimera
of the juggernaut and goat and...

REPTILE: a great thriller...
i'm not surprise by Justin Timberlake
saying: **** it and driving drunk
but there's Taylor Whiff to compete with
and the masses need fervent minding
and feeding with distraction:
and if Christ was the birthright of Second Jacob
the romance:
the Morality Baron:
i quick-snapped at the prospect of basic Newtonian:
apple falls on head:
a spawn of id the idea is born:
since ego has thought and the linear:
then id has idea and the abstract of linear
namely geometry:
ego is temporal:
id is spatial...

                superego is what satan is:
as the holy spirit:
in the prizing of the Assyrian trinity
attempting an Ancient Egyptian revival
via the Hebrews...
idiot: is the superego: equivalence of the id...
egoist is not an idiot
an idiot is not an egoist...
get your starter package while
i get mine...

egoist, idiot... id est: iota: but just by the measure of 1?
0.000000000001 < 1 < 1.00000000000001
there! i found it!
how punctuation works in harmony with music
beyond the realm of the "art" of arithmetic:
i just needed to appreciate:
what sentence and where to:
****** is a broader term for the current malaise
and disenchantment...

but some people are not there: yet or never...
if i can ingest 3.5g and hallucinate with-out ink
like pixel Job: meets Beelzebub and the Nasty Finger
one ups the **** to downs
the slither of slug of tongue to lick the familiar
parts and at junction
****: without a kiss: but a hiss:
there's the 69er sunrise of an ***
full buttocks: rosemary: croissant cheeks:
gleeful...

smart technology: next level of cashiers
while the genuises burn out and become roaming
stars...
while we have this brainstorm: stop:
a confusion of *** ensues and that's
rather Nag Hammadi apocryphal recreational
study away
from the Church: the church is no more with
the perpetuated Coliseum:
all talk is done there: why the **** has
demand and care for respecting "the" church:
i'm not getting paid to be nice
when i dictate:
there will be a river of people using the eXIT
signage of my discretion against
a sea of people that turns into
an earth: an impasse of people...
but where the earth and the sea are elements
of overcoming and overpowering...
one must imbue the spirit of Air and the spirit of Fire:
and i was not!

i was not born of Fire!
the Quran believes i lie!
i spit on the Quran!
i **** on it i **** on it i ******* ***** it!
the envy came from He
who was born of Air...
i was not born of Fire!
i was born of Air and the slightest of touches
that commands the focal point
of the Sistine Chapel with God
touching Adam index for index...
i was born of Air: not of Fire...
i am the wind in the forest at night
i am not your Promethean Slave!
i was not born of Fire!
i was not born of Fire!
i was born of Air and Darkness and Light!
but fire is only a chimera of Light
it is not my abode! it is not my abode!
i was born of Air!

a life a breath of the breadth: a depth:
i own you nothing beside a revision concerning
the subjectivity of man:
with being subjected to too much
objecting to so so much of the little still available...
we are subjected to so much:
by alias: also: being less and less objectionable:
that the fairer *** resorted to:
objectifying itself...
since: this is the first malady of a democratic
ordeal:
if one is being subjected to so much:
that it feeds the parasite of the non-mind...
with so much democratic subjugation: being subjected to:
passwords, fairs... insurance...
blah...
         then one can only be privy
to the bogus of "being" objectionable to gravity:
where object meets objects:
in the realm of gd...

               so all this objectification to the counter
of the subjugation of lost rhyme:
just *** blockers:
      if this isn't a summary of 0 twice: 00:
i will die but i will have lived having done
work:
and that will only allow me to shine
if i escape to Kauai:
and that's still smaller than any Wembley Event
i worked at:
Thursday: tomorrow is Tuesday...
the Boss is playing on Thursday:
i demoted myself
i don't need a ladder:
when i have the snakes....

   Benicio del Toro (57):
argument "argument" with mother and father:
and Javier is not older?
Javier Bardem! (55)... ****...
i was wrong: the prettier Spaniard was
actually older...
i don't wish to get to that age:
after all in England:
what is the desired ethnicity for reproductive
purposes: not really:
Spaniards and the Blacks:
all...
but it has been over 20 years and i have
never been with an English woman
and i think that's somehow:
my, Eve's and Adam's forbidden fruit...
i'll turn the serpents tongue Y
into how a tree also with Y originates...
yahyuh
  my... YHYH:
                               at least then: there are
at least 8 of us talking...
      ΔH∇H
the DElta-NablAH tetragrammaton:

     ʎ: Seal of the I See...

YHΛH...           ΓHΛH


                                                          ­ γηλη

at least the Jews left the best toys
to the worst of boys:
imagining me not being on the receiving end
of German-**** expansionism
and Soviet Russia expansionism...
like the situation with:
well: i would be all up in arms with Ukraine
but then:
that slight hiccup:
Sienkiewicz wrote about:
the... Khmelnytsky Uprising...
                        so my support for Ukraine is:
sort of... slim:
give us back L'viv! you ******* Georgian *****!
GeLe...
                   we can toy around with this
his most sacredness but who will come off
as having interested him the most
out of the necessity of mind obliterated
by mind projected
within now: the confines of the claustrophilia
of technology?
i'm only transferring old data
from an old phone to a new Samsung:
Malaysia and the barbarian Chefs
seriously: Ramsey: take that bat spit
and ant crunch and forget the fusion of spices:

i simply can't adhere to suspense animation
with the uprising and
with UPA... the Ukrainian Insurgent Army...
ergo a four way invasion
of Poland:
the Ukrainians, the Slovaks,
the Germans and the Russians:
like my diabolical other united kingdom...
but since not island bound less
respectable time-frames... of existence...

although... one could
begin comprehending infinity
with a cyclic functioning: within: cycles
and functions...
             the basic f(x)
          π(∞)

the function is a coefficient of a circle...

      π = coefficient: abbreviated as 3...

          is therefore replaced with lemniscate:
and that's an impasse:
since:        there is no      ∞²

   ergo                                  π(∞)

           or just relaxing: eating dried pasta...
like me chewing on chicken bones
getting to the marrow
to **** the juices no longer there
just this brown judge overcooked
but overcooked bones are
not overcooked meats...
so there is no double slaughter of the animal
when not prepared properly...

coefficient: that's the basic stasis
investigative force behind
the most appropriate definition of
consciousness not: arriving or relapsing into
a new arriving (reincarnation):
just the linear property of time...

        π(∞) π can't be given algebraic foundations:
constrained to the circle...
it's the most ingenious tool of contentment...
i'm just a fan boy at the end of the day:
the ancients had ways that moderns
will be made into the Holocaust
and the Jews were warned while the Germans
were warning "us":
less than the usual canape of food
for thought and worms...
"it's such an unfair advantage working in security, joke of a job, or rather: there are too many people in this industry: mostly women, who 'think' they can appease a restless drunk, man, who they have no coordinates for in terms of the stressors of nihilism: if religion was still alive: but god is alive while religion is dead... if these women knew that simply popping out a golden doughnut of a bambino: we have it harsh not that it matters but we don't have the luxury of fashion and make-up... say that to someone obsessed with latex, the Marvel comic universe... Rod Stewart's train-set... and then this ****** antics... yachts galore... but a woman? pops out a baby and hey presto! cul de sac of existentialism sort of become a tempus per se: agreed... there's no locus ad hoc: no space for this... so the child is a discomfort a 'discomfort'... but i'm not such a bad drunkard... i don't get jealous, i just tease my wuvva bovva when she tells me that she has courtesans in her vicinity of that juicy *** of a peach... but take religion away from man and replace that with the Coliseum: replace the Church with the Coliseum and then spike his ingestion of: moderation of wine: excess that with beer... don't give him a purpose: disorientate him with sport: doubly so! make him twice the unappreciative leech on what sport is: blind-side him with football fanaticism: so that he can't appreciate athletics and mathematics: the two mothers looking for a third: perfect thirst for melancholy and knowledge: namely philosophy: perhaps it's only a struggle in this tongue, this English: zunge... this lack of thirst for language bagging some Stanley 'satan' Shakespearean itch: that night when lying in bed and i felt a creepy-crawli rummaging into my skin to get at my nymph-nodes... now i feel my skin itching... and only yesterday... the chances of cycling and catching a ******* insect in my eye... eye not yet watery but still blistered... maybe this freak-ah-zoyd reclining should stop just watching people video games: at least she might not be prone to doing **** like: selling bathtub water for the desperate or maybe i'm also one of them: i'm pretty sure that if i spread enough words into the stream of connectivity i'd get away with prying open the gimmick: bagged me a Puerto Rican ****... a Puerto Rican **** and i don't feel inclined to explore sexuality most extreme in ****... i like the vanilla tasting her swallow... but then again i have my three-switch flick of the index prompt regarding one finger in her mouth and another in her ****: but boys being boys it wasn't enough that i was envied for courting a Russian girl: now i challenged the spectrum and went the other way all the way to H'america..."

it's sports commentary:
i listen in on all those former footballers turned
sport pundits and
jeez: ****** as General:
not the competent Erwin Rommel...
there's the genius and there's the artistic
turned dictator: flop...
sports commentary concerning football
is... ******* boring:
maybe that's why the fans are so vocal...
but if you just listen to the commentary
surrounding the Tour de France:
well: it's linear: the race:
unlike F1... very much unlike Formula Uno:
one...
ah! that's what i forgot!
to scribble in some katakana!
since N is so special a vowel in Yap:

オンエ   (not one: oh-née:
        i.e. not one or won)
the plural of feminine: those women...
different in the masculine
realm replacing one letter:

      オンイ... oh-knee...
no... wait... that's exactly the same: even with
the surd inclusion to morph meaning
of the same sound...
oh-n'eh: yes yes... oh-
  no... wait... that's right!
what was i thinking?!

        probably something about becoming blind
in one eye: which one? the ! or the ? eye?
and ears likewise: deaf like
that's a monstrous punctuation adventure
a colon in one ear
a semi-colon out the other...

in the plural then: AXIS... summon the *******
i've worked with enough drunkards
that i understand an unfair advantage
when i see one:
i summoned up bulking and bulging
i put on an extra kilogram or so
so i look more obnoxiously formidable like
i'm waiting for the action doing
response but all i see it people
wasting my time
i want to be traumatized like most people
become when doing this job
but all i get it politeness and maybe
i'm just a big smooch:
the way she described other males
trying to chirp her up all lavender and honey
i didn't get disorientated
i just told her: it's coming up to 4am
and i'm still thinking about tomorrow's
weather and the heatwave receding
and your daughter is eating dry pasta
and that's almost like me clinging
to exercising my bite and gnash
on my own teeth and other instruments
of torture until bone bites bone
and a new geology is born from the chips
and my grinning chipped teeth:

onesies i think "they" call them...
don't know: bad grammar is a disgrace when
so made into fetish for bad politics
like chess are people or people
are chess and this is a nightmare circus
but fair enough:
if that eases the strain on god's antics
in the omni-verse of -potency etc
then i too think Yo needs...

it looks so terrible for anyone who's either
schizophrenic or bilingual,
this whole notion of: "gender neutral pronouns":
perhaps it's an English-thing:
with its already in situ:
gender neutral nouns...
which makes no sense to summon
the idea, the whisper: but wow! so vocal:
"gender neutral pronouns":
the ******* nouns are gender neutral!
learn! another! *******! zunge!
in other languages there's no confusion:
nouns are gender exclusive!
there's some inkling into this reality with
calling the Moon a boy and the Sun a girl:
or in the ancient script calling
Latin Moon girl and Latin Sun boy...
but come on: Britain: the Afghanistan of
the ancient world: before the Saxons conquered
this respite for conquest:
these Irish, Welsh and Scots...
don't bother me when i'm still residing in Essex...
before the Germanic influence:
the devolved people pushed into a now
impeding homogeneity of Pseudo-Babylon...
with all the rest of the people of the world
making their claim to
bad weather and even worse diet!
well **** me! might as well sell them ****
and make them feel like twice the overlords
and conquerors with their breeding patterns
and state-dependence:
me? i'm ******* off to Hawaii... leave you to it...
i'm beyond one ounce of giving a toss:
i found myself a girl i can escape pornographic
daydreaming:
on a hunch: well yeah:
the day i brought her present to the brothel:
a ****-ring...
the 20 year didn't know what i was doing
but neither did she know what was what is
a ******* before the advent of the monotheistic
mutilation by the Arab-Hebrews...
oh yeah, yeah: i'd get circumcised (if i could,
but i can't but if i could: but i can't
since i have a caduceaus of veins around my skin
on my **** so: bleeding gums murphy)...
circumcision should only be permitted
as a prenup agreement...
only then: not right off the bat hey ** let's go!
if i get married then yeah:
guillotine my *******...
but beyond that you ******* barbaric sods: ha ha...

it's still bad grammar...
gender, neutral, pronouns...
as in: "neutrality" of enveloping the singular with
the plural so that he is disguised as they
and she a them: wow! applause! stupendous
******* applause!
i'm having to listen to the DYSLEXIC goblins!
the fury and the agony of: supposing
the priestly-caste became limp-**** energy
and people became over-ambitious in their
first: thirst: ambition for scribble scribble scribble:
but then the scribble scribble scribble
comes back and you begin to wonder:
all that... for this?!

it's not even bothersome what sport you watch:
but football these days has the most
terrible of commentaries...
you switch off listening to it
and appreciate the game:
with the exception of, say: John Motson...
Jonathan Pearce... yeah...
but beside that: ex-footballers...
one exception...
two...
            Ian Wright is not a commentator:
he's a pundit...
as is Roy Keane....
             Alan Shearer... Ally McCoist...
legend...
                  Martin Keown: measured, reserved...
sober(?)...
             Tour de France commentary is
different: you're not supposed to be watching
the race, well: you are: you're not...
regardless:
i don't see a bunch of women raising arms
at length to salute and say:
we also want to be the brides and girdles
of the Tour! give us some!

equal pay: but i really want women to play
5 sets in tennis!
i want to get my money's worth!
if women are to be paid equal as men
in a sport:
they should at least play to a 3 set winner in
the grand slams... surely... no?
why are they getting paid to play a maximum
of 3 sets while men have to grind out
a 5 setter?
doesn't seem fair:
but we're only talking about a pedantic minority
of hard-core feminist-nazis to begin with
so i'm not really bothered about outcomes
of my spontaneous verbiage...

                  but if you don't attract a massive
crowd to watch your matches...
with the exception of the national team
then i really don't understand
how all these women think they can be
****-boys and not look ugly
while we know all the ****-boys
are Peter Pans and that's really not something
you aspire to
since you know they're only ******* the gullible
ones and that's an intellectual sub-par
of what's talked about outside the bedroom:

i didn't ask whether you can cook and clean...
then there you go with:
but i'll earn as much as you and get a maid...
seriously?!
so all for me but none for you
so there's no grand feminist solidarity
you'd rather have another woman do your chores
while you compete for my... responsibilities
and strains:
i didn't say: can you cook and clean:
i do that myself... i was just asking:
would you mind cooking and cleaning: with me:
but there you go all defensive:
but i'm not doing either:
regardless:
regardless of what?
butchering a poor animal twice by
overcooking the beef till it's dry and ugh and
i need blood and ju and goo:

no wonder then that i had to resort
to looking for a woman outside of England:
if not in Russia then in America...
well: Polynesia... South America:
not America-as-Culture as such...
somewhere "spicy": somewhere fidgety...
fiddly... jeez this itch...
i really do think i have a parasite crawling
under my skin: sometimes it pops like an itch
in my ear sometimes
on my nose...

it's still a case of bad grammar:
gender, *******, neutral, ******* pronouns...
it's bad... so so bad...
someone ought to cut off the dyslexic delusion
of prowess: give them some sweets:
a sugar rush and a motorcycle to speed
on and crash into a jargon busting dumpster
of a truck: re-orientate them with
clever tricks like:
only two experiences can compensate getting
a ******* as good as...
     getting a haircut in all that ******* Ottoman
experience and...
seeing a dentist: but that's not ethnicity related
like going to a Turkish barber:
any dentist will do:
shoving his latex GIMP
           hands into your mouth while you're gagging
and saying: i might just about to cry
from all that inverted ***: my-tho-logy?
    structure: that's mý-tho-logy:
when writing the schematic: it's truly there:
it's not my: aye: eye...
     it's a mýthology: hence no ý in -logy:
since that's: logically: -ee... e e... e... e... e... e...

i knew you were trouble: Taylor does DUB STEP...
Taylor does DUB STEP... drops the BASS...
softcore dub step:
i remember there was that musical movement
once circa 2007...
then died the quickest death imaginable...

that sporting events have replaced:
well what's the problem with religion is the carousel
of repeating familiarity
and perhaps people just want drama
drama that can be contained and if religion was no
escapism:
but it was escapism for people, formerly:
then religion can't satiate the problems of modern man
god is alive and well
in the mental asylum
while religion is dead or at least morphing:
personally i find i couldn't find any satisfaction
with religion
even as much as the Muslims want to make
their intricate prayer antics enticing with remnants
of mysticism
i couldn't possible lubricate my mouth
on the mantras that leave the Urdu speaking
confusion a half-baked Arabic...
  
                          since... maybe there's a living through
language: LINGUA PER SE
re-orientating itself:
something out of my power...
              maybe language is: primarily an etymology
instead of history
perhaps there's a secret layer of language
that balances out all the newly discovered
graffiti...
                            and i'm just here for the thrill
of: peacock: how can i best attire myself
in the right sort of feathers of words...
                                     which might make her O and A
and Ooh: in the whirlwind of the YHWH
with the two hatches as vowel catchers in sighs
and instigators of laughs: balancing act of Ah in Ha... ha.

p.s. so in the end, my "unfaithfulness":
non-committal...
i thought: can i be as or at least so: psychopathic
and escape the sanctity of ****** exclusiveness?
turns out no...
the ****-ring confused the young *******
as did the *******...
in the end i ended up paying her £120 for an hour
whereby i massaged her
and she cuddled to me like a daughter
and that's when i decided that:
all the lessons of the brothel have been learned...
there's no need for me to go back...
i think it was always a language barrier for me...
i think that language is: but especially is:
if you find your type:
voluptuous... volume: voluptuous...
              if you can find your type and become:
TYPO... strange parallels:
an honest monetary exchange: once, only once
since March... and... absolutely... nothing...
to engage a psychology with:
too many ******* swans in my head
and matrimony...

                          a ******-pathology:
or rather a pathology of *** post the ****** revolution
in that:
it takes great strain and mental gymnastics
to go ahead with frivolous and anti-stereotypical
"awakening" casualness of ***
in the realm of the psychopath:
maybe that's why i did overcome that aspect
of ***
and did manage multiple ****** partners
and did manage to persuade some to perform
unprotected *** and that's a big thing
since in the brothel the onion and peel of
skin of extra financing the experience
but then a return to a comfort of the lived
rather than dying through experience
and how naturally there'a a lock on who you
experience either KINK or VANILLA with
and even in the realm of VANILLA
the KINK comes out: out of its own unconscious
rota of: can't hide forever...
and that's better than all the false sense of
the rewarding self: instead it's a self-punishment
with that promise of causal *** that's:
so... ******* monstrous i don't know why
**** ideology died
while this 1960s ****** revolution still lingers
like a bad taste absinthe and Marxism:
but **** ideology is dead
while there's the real human question
of sincerity when it comes to such topics
as Euthanasia and being unable to care / afford
demented relatives...
this liberal-anti-liberal monstrosity is just:
icky...
                                         and this is coming from
a place of "love": like:
why were only the Slavic people inclined to
test out Marxism to the fullest extent
(while door-mouse Chinese faked it until they
made it...)
        but at least there were a people who tested
the theory thoroughly and there's knowledge
of: Marxism would work well in current Syria:
like it did in Poland:
as a way of: Marxism in place under special
circumstances of: invaded by and distraught by:
at least 2 foreign powers...
and a special time period like half a century...
great undercurrent of cultural growth:
no foreign investment: F.D.R's isolationism like
that of Japan: a fail-safe mechanism...
nothing capitalistic: permanent...

                  but **** me that was the last time
i paid for an hour whereby i ended up
massaging a *******: gremlin ergonomics of
pseudo-economic achievements of earning: spending.
how do i approach this....
there's so much ego is also useful for
when i use it
to no cognitive narrative fudge
but instead restrain it:
then put my idle hands to work:
my devilish hands
of idle measure:

i feel so organic having mentioned
eating raw pork
to ingest a tapeworm
and become the Overlord or Zenir of Dune
without sandworms:
with earthworms:
peering into the earth
to find more than serpents:
i've become of serpents
i don't need serpents anymore
to play Loki:
i need Chopin and Boris Brejcha
at Nimes...

Tour de France: we'll get to that in a minute:
i'm clarifying time:

i own a viking bicycle:
how much?
£125
works like a woman
very impressive
a thing can be a woman
my viking road bicycle
green green greed green
envy comes: later...
she's like a woman
and i'm riding her into the distance:

autobiography:
someone set off fireworks in my neighborhood
last night and it spread like wildfire
into the night on social media blah blah

rubric necessary:
if drinking a mixer
smoke some in the garden, wait for stars
to keep their constellations
and without a telescope or a microscope:
catch an insect in your eye
while cycling
Tour de Havering:
from Rise Park
to hmm... Raphael's Park
vicinity
Gidea Park...

            the joy of having watched
the tour de france on t.v.: i
didn't watch it... beside stage 21
while playing Solitaire and reading
newspapers:
but the sports commentary:
imagine what football is: zombie religion...
a place
where people drink and make fantasies of
Nation-States in the globalized world:
globalized = atomized...
the globalized non-states
with their atomized non-individuals...

blink of an eye is equivalent to
0.001 sec?
and the chances of a symbiosis gone wrong
an insect...
lower status creature:
i want to summon the TAPEWORMS
and the *****
into my digestive stomach:
time, for, the, serpent, to, become, the, tree!

Y tongue ADAM and EVE
DEVIL WEDS THEM BEFORE GOD
with tongue of Y and a tree to:
ah! jeez bliss: blitzkrieg bliss!
famous athletes around me:

ATHLETICS is the MOTHER
of all SPORTS...
what is philosophy if not a sport in the dead
humanities... CIRCUS MAXIMUS ABSTRACT'
that T' is a hidden acute above an I which makes it
an E...

a blink of the eye takes
0.001 seconds:
long before i compound the vowels with consonant:
in Japanese that's:
unique: ONE
them: feminine in Polish one: them(f)
them: masculine in Polish oni: them(m)
and how much the predicament of an insect
flying into my eye:
i have such AIRWORMS that found peace
in my body happy as long as the eyes can see
the liver the brain
is of no importance:
the eyes remain:
there are only eyes:
a body without eyes is no body:
a blind man has eyes
ergo a blind man isn't blind
but ALTER-SEEING...
coordinator:
one thing you learn from Crowd Control
being invested in theoretical chemistry
way beyond youth:
is:
that:
you:
can:
claim:
that:
people are like all the elements and none at
the same time:
collectively people are water and earth
individually people are like air and fire:
airy fairy words, promises: ancient Satanic:
which is: i'm the new child..
promises like lies
what are truths and beliefs
within the contention that beliefs are lying-truths...

my father knew i would be up to something
creative
and he did all the chores around the house
while i planted these two replacements for
roses:
the names of flowers always alludes me:
i need a woman
because i need to have noun gratification:
i basically need a woman for nouns
since i am a verb
a woman is a noun
while a man is a verb:
a woman is a vowel
a man is a consonant...

       will "we": still talk about pronoun
"confusion"?
too much pie?!
assassination attempt post-survivalist "face"
emoji:

                  ?           !
                      
ah ****: forgot the nostrils and spacing....
for the leftover ear:
so perfectly so i should have bet on Fortune
Chance:
the gods meet humans in the Arena of Chance:
not somehow Sport
impossible for the Gods to play Gamble
in Athletics:
but gods try these anti-gods
anti-demigods
riches in housing illegal migrants...
in hotels in Clacton-on-Sewage...

one blink of an eye: 0.002 seconds
chance an insect flying into your eyes:
0.0019:
but there are parasites already
residing in my eye: s:
i can see them... they are microscopic:
i needed a telescope:
i received the ROAMING STARS
the Catholics told me ugly truths:
i once said:
i cannot hear silence:
that's demonic now i'm half-paralysis
in perfect mode
having a twirl
a buzz and buzz fresh off the frenzy of BIG
BANGS...
i'm hearing the bangs with the LITTLE SOUNDS
well... concerning the list of other
BIG BANGS: like children talking
something they need a GOD to adhere to having
been so "dead" for so long...
i think i'm not Nietzsche:

big bang: the alphabet?
the sports are: underrepresented:
that's why football is the deep state state: "state"...
don't know:
a sport is a sport is a sport
when it retains the CLASS of literacy
being sponsored:
sharing of wealth:
the rich spend on the sporty:
not the intellectual: i guess...
this is not ACADEMIC... classed as:

so much of my ego like
an angry 13 year old girl about me not about me:
i can't believe the inherent
ontological disability of men
simply because that disability is god:
whether god or gods:
how we feel all organic
but feed of all things inorganic:
how we summoned eternity with
the grit of stone and how we paid
due currency of constipated espionage:
caressing the stone with:
philosopher's envy:
if water is time
then for man to retain his eternal
presence
set forth clinging to stones:
sinking in the water of time
making himself eternal:

physicist! if you truly want to learn:
learn!
become hyper-space indulgent
and detached become
Vibration rather than Music...
Music is Music:
Intellect is a Vibration...
          Reason is the Vibrating...

Intellect is a Vibration
while Reason is the Vibrating...

crowd control: West Ham... post-athletics
Hugo is missing
Hugo is missing...
CONTROL is not informed:
but Romeo Beta is
by Romeo 5...

    create a meaning of:
the River is to a Sea...
not an ocean: just a sea:
a sea of people:
not an ocean of people...
just a sea of people..
there are: gradations of category:
the imperative being:
beyond good and evil:
that's what Neitzsche alluded to:
the categorical imperative
does not quest to reason good above
evil and the knowledge
encompassed in telling
the difference:
in that:
evil = good =evil
good = evil = good

how does man's discovery of rigid dues
of gravity and the *******
project of quantum ***** and giggles:
but in the court...
when man passes laws and forgets
to update them:
maybe A.I> should update our *******
laziness!

the only reason why i gave Leopold the Lydon
Scousser:the bottle of whiskey:
i didn't have to thank him:
NVQ level 3 i was **** fudge packaging
my ego into the
lost beyond lost child
sort of REGRESS... analogy...
but the subject matter was so intellectually dry
i thought about:
hanging, prostitutes: tapeworms:
Amsterdam: Paris: woods nearby: magic
mushrooms:
tapeworms: air-worms in the eyes:
light-worms: something symbiotic
after... after... ha ha!
i've lived through TWO ASSASSINATION attempts...
once when i was a toddler
and almost suffocated
on being fed too fast...
another when i was 21...
but i can also remember two others...
yes... being drawn into a well:
in the middle of nowhere...
being pushed into it by the mother of my
childhood friend: Herbert: i think:
i need a woman for nouns
a woman is a banknote for nouns
while the man is the coinage for verbs...

feminism will,
not govern,
the male, intellect:
within:
her:
as a study: of:
under-achievements:
of: still:
giving: good: head!
but feminism!
will!
not! become!
         Platonism!
will not become!
Aristotelian!
will not become
the Romantic!
will not become SAURON'S Ring!
one thought movement
to quell them all:
feminism = platonism = chriatianity = islam...

blah ha ha!
woman! woman!
get a, *******: wheelchair!
slow down!
ride horses! break a neck:
slow down!
slow! slow! slow! sleeeeeeeuuuuth!

don't get me wrong:
sport:
under representation: as talked by a ******:
asbestos: non non...
then music become a deterioration:
decay: distraction:
you want to escape without the fatigue:
after all: mood changes
but most writers can't keep a hard-on
for ego+ through to ego-
which is somewhere between ego=
and ego_
                      
then the silence and no loss procrastinating:
allowance: wink winks:
the representative perfect:
Turkish barbers and Synthia:
you forgot the macarroni
maccaroni
macarroni
                ah: third time oucky: some add L
to replace the O:
well you know: wonders of counter-reality
profit-idiot-nouns...

           but sport is seriously under-represented:
sport as sport:
a recreation to counter the pathological necrosis
of procreation:
which is also adamantly slow to
be discovered as a covert topic point...

   athletics... the mother of all sports:
like mathematics is the mother of knowledge...
1 + 2 = 3
simple life = mother + can be:
can be: any woman can replace
a man's mother:
if: she can: progress to the provisions of
detachment sensibilities...
a relationship of growth
is brought about by:
the impeding stress of: detachment...
from? well if
i'm contemplating tapeworms and Dune
and magic mushrooms and field trips into the spirit
world...
then i write that and then reality replies:
random cycling new streets mostly haven
suburbia...
detour 1, 2, 4, 5, 3...
hey, mind wandering:
i might be cycling in the tour de frace
but i still love cycling... at least my bicycle
won't be stolen
but then again those expensive bicycles
were stolen from people who had no interest
in cycling:
they just wanted to pretend
to look like:
i love cycling: i hate cycling...
i used to spend £30 a week on cigarettes...
i'm bulging: i wanted to weigh 99kg
i'm bulging up to 105kg
almost unconsciously...
different high viz jacket
and i'm just gaining weight: need to manage
crowd: some ****... another shirt...
can't flex my manly **** like some
don't know whether i can stomach
an actual physical: let's get to know each
other a little bit better, hmm?
   i will hate that circumcised *******
resurrecting mummified bodies sort of ***...

until i restore the high
but the music would have been all:
ill...

Wimbledon, the Euro finals...
concerts in between:
and to think i'm thinking the what IF
and the IF dimension of
even she said:
but i live on a island (Kauai:
origins volcano mythology)
that has roughly 60,--0-:
60,-
60,000 people:
you are part of a team that manages:
venues: with 90000 people...

            and i'm such a good cook and cleaning
lady and me holy TARMAC seriously
that is how the sexes identify when the world
changes and the sexes have to evolve
to compete for complimenting each other?
i feel we reached the highest
escapade:
the sexes compliment
rather than compete:
i work a ****** job: but an engaging:
conflicting: i get to compliment my writings escapades
but at the time confiscate the weirdos
from the whirlpool of body: of man...

Tadek: Tadeusz: Pogačar...
the mythology of the sport that is the Tour
is unlike the insomnia patterned
seasonal:
i wasn't really watching:
i was merely listening!
sure from time to i watch the drone swoon
in like a hawk:
but this is a different sport
a pristine sport
sport without politics:
since ARENA sports
beside the athletic is a humanity's coping
mechanism for discussing in
short-hand the concepts
of RELIGION and of POLITICS...
it's discussed in the most democratic of fashions...
democracy is absolute in the Coliseum...
the church needs to be abandoned...
in all, and every:
country: of this world...

the Coliseum speaks: the Parliament: Listens!
the King and the Lords
are thereof: Absolved of their Dutiful Stature:
and Status:
the Courts and the Laws will be absolved
in their Former Formality of Authority: Recognized:
and the Rule of Man will be: PROMPTLY:
INSTIGATED:
a man will know that association of
ill will was his own gravity:
and will not blame others: for gravitating toward good:
the Rule of Man will
govern both the Rule of Law and
the Godly Dietary Neurotic Propaganda...
the PIG will be venerated in the same psy
pogrom of wind-farming bias...
the pig will be the new ram
the pig will turn into a:
the French were once the BOARS
now they're the cockerels..

       the French were once the BOARS...
now they're the cockerels...
you can tell: sniff it:
the scent of sweetened ******* with
the friction counter literature:

i do see parasites in my vision:
not my eyes:

but how could it possibly be:
that certain sports have empowered people
to supplement themselves
with the REALITY of being involved
whereas church and parliament are
just: majestic, impartial:
status de facto quo
IMPOTENT
Bureucratic (dyslexia, perhaps,
sounds different to the spelling, too many vowels)
bue:row-cratic...
                       the Coliseum: the Parliament:
the Church... and how does Russia operate?
the Church: the Monarch: War...

                                       at least he know how
to contain war: with the gift of Vespasian...
Vespasian's gift:

ah!
now: more clearly:
however i write it, it will be "chiral":

the Gift of Vespasian : Vespasian's Gift...

definite article, noun, preposition, noun
noun: possessive-no-plural article (of noun), noun...
yes: other replicas...
but the original: and grandiose in / of intent:
unlike the Pyramids:
this like for what the Koreans worship
the birth of letters in one man
the abnormal X- have you another waver?
i.e. Sejong: the one man "**** show"...

            but Vespasian: mm hmm! to transcended
time!
what an ingenious structure:
should: church and state and parliament fail!
there's also this stalling process of
appeasing the crowd!
and that's when you see in the sea:
of people...
the intelligent ones: that are also the most
illogical:
the intelligent people are the most illogical
in large: crowd: environments:
whether your weekly football match
(a singled out event)
or **** Germany or the Weimer Rep...

              intelligent people are the most illogical
in a crowd...
they will conjure up all types of fakery
thinking their intelligence is somehow a virus
of proper genetic stashing of:
getting the best out of life:
which: by now: kinda looks like
a family of mother and ***** donor cwy...
            
          i should have remained a roofer with
my father and got a mortgage and a car
instead of working in security
and having the vantage point
of willing to write poetic without hope
for a Pulitzer prize...
instead... Glasgow: 2007... 2008:
first discovering Bukowski...
that crow poem and madmen...
i already knew Dostoyevsky but picked up
Kharamazov Bros as a side...

the drudgery of work?
  if i were a postman! mail'e'me'mail'e'me'mail'e'me!
mail'me'e'e! if i were a Yeshua!
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