the idea I made you feel shamed
or caused you anguish
is such a wretched feeling

Stars - gas all exhausted -
Under their own weight, collapse:
A lighthouse, crumbling

All those days, like a dunce
Sitting in the parking lot
Of her university.
A heart she never sees

I shutter desire,
I quiet fear,
And drag a rusty blade across my skin.
It's about what I let out,
Not what I've taken in.
These sweat and tears,
This blood that drops,
I hope you all soak it up.
Each of you, like ***** mops;
Never getting anything clean,
Just spreading all the muck around
And calling everyone *****.

why are you there
and not by my side
sharing my bed
slide inside
my head
and make yourself at home
pick me apart
dissect, and use my tendons
your marionette man

A bad day away
From the end of things,
Cause not a person stays.

And everything remains the same,

Despite all the change.

An hour to twelve,
When the clock strikes.
I burn one down.

And the match reminds me of hell;

Of dark depths, lit by scorching light.

Most deepest of desires, and precious hopes
We are fond of holding you close,
Fearful we will share our thoughts

And be lost to ourselves

To understand, what we know we never can

Very quickly, have my
Compatriots rushed to take sides
In wars & conflicts that are not ours
That have no real bearing on
The American Way Of Life.
And what is that, these days?
Because I know, from
Pouring over history
That we are a very aggressive peoples
Steeped in the rigors of tradition.
But, similarly, believe in equality & peace
And self-actualization & freedom.
We flip between beliefs, diametrically,
With seemingly little reason
More based on superstition.
I know of the hopes they held at the beginning;
The founders of the nation
Who were, in aspects, mistaken;
On women's rights, on enslavement,
And many more. But,
That is the bugle call of progress;
To right what is wrong.
Those things that must be addressed,
For the betterment of all

pour me another glass
i won't get up
till i can't
shout so loud
they won't fill my cup
so i figure that's the end
and the bar room's so noisy
the patrons so nosey
it's like you can't converse
just follow me?
let's find us a nook, nice and cozy
we won't leave
till they bring round the hearse
don't dip in your purse
this round's on me
wetter than water, and can't breathe
the things you do to me

yes, I know
how lonely life can be
it's a tale recounted
if you let it flow
let the bad go, you'll see
what love has grown to
or the little that has
in reality, amounted
one sided
it seems
as most of your relationships
tend to be
it's a trend
one of the ones
i'm breaking free

The banality of only craving to capture,
Never to create.
Aperture into life behind the lens
The misery of the photographer
Is always being on the out
And only being a device when let in.
To be an archiver of the moment,
Truly embodying it in a single shot,
Is the greatest achievement;
For cameras can hope

Free use,
I take it, it's from the abuse
And how it plays on your psyche
It's beyond me
Cause you talk
But I don't know, if honestly.
I know you hurt,
I love you.

near the foothills
we breast the wind
in the heights
we waver, swinging
us loose limbs
that gilded age
far past fleeting
going backwards
to bring back
what has been in retreating
and yet
it is only the mistakes of the past
we are repeating

sheesh
our session is paltry
taking hits betwixt talk
we've taken hits, how many have walked

or just simply dropped

from doping to coke
smoking and joking
over the line with too many tokes
our time's coming too
though we know not when
we'll go too
in the end

When thoughts coalesce with feeling,
Do not let intensity take you. Though,
Don't let the thought and feeling fleet-
Sit and temper it, in
The furnace of the heart &
The forge of the mind.
Until hardened resolve springs,
With method & motive derived.

Laissez-faire and free,
Nothing bothers me in
Bohemian living.

Fruit fresh plucked,
On the grass with the bees
Relaxing and eating.

Read a play, finish a novel
See what's up with sister
See what's up with father

Laissez-faire and free,
Why are you so worried
That I'm not worrying?

the cat isn't out of the bag
they're beating on it
still covered in burlap
butterflies all havin' fun
gone, as spring
draws near its end
and if there are fumbles,
that's saying the least of it,
it's all we seem to be able
to muster these days

I have an answer,
I had one prior to the question-
So, why ask?
I would rather wonder
Than assume to know fact,
Even if I am proven wrong.
Even if it is painful.

i can only be bigger
for so long
i have needs
cravings
act on instincts
impulse
grazing

Quicker to bite the barrel,
Than pull the trigger.
The weight of life,
Sharper than the edge of a knife
But still lighter than the hammer.
The call of night, of ill light;
The difference between
Hellish damnation, and heavenly ascension.

it's been warm this December
and barely a snowfall touched the ground
they're saying in several Septembers
heat rivaling ol' helios'll be found
supposed to be like Luckenbach, Texas in my area
Funny, I always liked Waylon n Willie
can you imagine the hysteria
when's there's even more to be fighting for
dying over, and killing?

somebody's ******
floating in my soft drink
I should have ordered hard

the ice is raw
lines still there
fresh from skating

and the atmosphere
in here
is something like a graveyard

I'm an open book
you're a closed in castle
i give you the key to each passage
but it doesn't matter
to you
I'm another *******
i bang on the gates
but each assault is a wash
and diplomacy doesn't work any better

i've censured myself
and censored myself
over what others might think
what those i love might
for their worry
their judgement
for pride

The difference between a cosmopolitan,
Of which I am,
And a "globalist,"
Of which I am not,
Is in one's compassion & patience -
In one's respect & understanding.

A cosmo is a citizen of the world,
A denizen of the planet.

This is not,
As some may mistakenly think,
Some sovereign citizen nonsense.

This is respect for the law - universal,
Those enshrined & even those not.

This is recognition of another's country & governance -
Of their sovereignty & rights, in like identity.

A "globalist" believes, wrongly, that there should be
Only one "kind" of a world.
A planet under one "supreme doctrine,

Usually "manifesting" in supremacy & inferiority
And the "erasure" of distinction.
That one's "life" is superior

Because of another's "inferior" "lifestyle."
In "globalism," there is no compassion
And neither is there patience.
There is no respect for distinctions in/of life
And no understanding for different lifestyles.

Observe, and share your perspective -
But be respectful.

Judge, and share your verdict -
But be understanding.

In both the formations of them
And in their subsequent deliveries.

Otherwise, expect not to be seen or heard from.

Shedding, prior to your sister's arrival
Quiet and silent
So it's all my own

Streaming in the car
Quiet, silent
All on my own

she taught me
to use a socket wrench,
and i wondered,
how she could ever
fault in self-belief

Bite not the tongue,
But latch the cheek.
Lash not the mule,
But strike the ***.
Ignore not the statistics,
But silence the opinions.
Waste not the seed,
But peel the onion.
Wantonly not dump,
But dispose of the garbage.
Carelessly not to jump,
But to gracefully land.
Rip them not off,
But open the lids.
Cause not interference,
But adjust your receivers.
Lose not the vision,
But get the picture.
Trade not for fidelity,
But increase your resolution.
Become not hidden,
But show the elusive.

i need
to resolve to leave
if i can
cause if i stay, i bleed
more than i have
more than i can

Dude, cultists are so awful.
Double-speak, indirect action,
All this horrid pageantry.
The intelligence is so lacking,
The feebleness so evident.
Not only in the strength of their arguments
But by the content of its body.
Frankenstein & the monster.
Very stupid.
Arrogant, ignorant?
Yep.
Short-sighted, unintelligible?
Absolutely.
It would stun to think
If it weren't so simplistic.
To take such a reductionist view
On things so complex,
I do understand that need for you.

Baseless threats
And poor attempts at intimidation.
Meek control
Where everything is construed as favor.
Cannibals,
Obsessed with their palate & others' flavors.
Barbarians,
Bastardizing the words of others.

But to run with it
After you understand it,
You're a ******* imbecile.
To not build upon it
But to take it as gotten:
You don't get anything.
It shows.

for those who have taught me
or try to teach
i always appreciated it
and still do
i want you to know
if no one else tells you,
good job

there is no vacancy
left in heaven
every cloud
has its angel or devil
stamped in
but i'm just guessing
this fickle mind of mine
never stops messing

Civility for civilty's sake
Do you laugh to feel,
Work to wake?
Is there a person there real?
Or, are you too fake?

when thoroughfares swell
ripe with blood
bodies torched
earth scorched
these sights from hell
that's war

I'm sorry, if I step on toes
But no one told me
Feet joined, on the path we must go.
Others around me are
Distant, and cold in their affections.
Reserving them only
For those who levy it on them.

Tell me, were you
Looking down from up above;
What would you think of us?

I'm spending my youth terribly apparently
Listen, I don't know
I'm young and very dumb
Unsurprisingly, to those I'm friendly
I break boundaries, burn bridges, split valleys
It's inside of me
Sometimes, I think
It's going to be the end of me
Forgiveness is hard I get it
I guess you have right to be on guard
Given my recent record, I scar
I don't know what I want
It shows
Forget I existed
I'm no one you need know

when the sun dwindles
I'm left with a hollow feeling
what's in healing
when I still hurt

i lick my lips
they taste of sky
my head high
in the clouds
but down under
things festered
still bubble
of what
for so long
i had
denied

want to set the world on fire
rejoice in the warmth
of Europe burning
America ablaze
Asia sizzling
from each pole
flames fuming
hate every person i see
**** everybody
want the world to be hurting

Fission, fusion.
Derision after derision.
Creation, destruction.
Degredation after degredation.
Combination, seperation.
Decay after decay.

Fusion, fission.
Praise after praise.
Destruction, creation.
Amelioration after amelioration.
Splitting, collaboration.
Growth after growth.

I know only
That I know nothing!

i care about you
i want you
if you're screaming
i want to be
screaming with you
or breaking down
though
anything to do with me
rest on these shoulders alone
stoic joke
i deserve to die

strung up between the pines
tendons stretched out on a few lines of twine
got these low down, sinew blues

my hands
all they good for
is smoking, and drawing a card

these tired hands
calloused and sore
nothing cures'em, the rot's tanned hard
you might not
but the body keeps score

in your old age
gracefully, you've become slow
through the pines
through the oaks
to arrive after the snow

this is
someone else's dream
pictures of a dead sea
corpses strewn about me
living an eternity
subsiding
in irrelevancy

i'm detaching from it all
i don't know
does that necessarily mean death?
of one thing or another, i guess
this recent disillusion
blind confusion
over what love was real
who i am and what i stand for
and i feel
i can't believe anything
so what's the point, of believing
what's the point of anything

In the "loneliness",
I find connection.
In the "boredom",
I find fulfillment.
In the "silence",
I find serenity.

Why aren't you at peace?

temporarily
the currents shift to polarity
stars aligned, planets aligned
event horizon, singularity.
vision stretched to infinity
what it means to see me
wihte room, empty spaces
black sea fibonacci
randomized perfection
crystalline & unstratified
limitless, free direction
open palms, third eye
to truly live, and happily die
beneath the ground, above the sky
this union of the soul
to the peace found inside
of the cosmic energy that flows-
eddying currents,
the tides that wash away
the woes of life