I can't do it anymore I can't stay in a home where I'm not wanted included welcomed I cannot live with people who are mean hypocrites argumentative I cannot stand the ***** looks eye-rolls avoidance I cannot be where I am not happy I can't stay So I will leave
I lay awake hour after hour while you did the same in the very next room.
You've told me before just how apprehensive you become when the page is empty and the stakes are high. You have high hopes, but when you bade me "good night and sleep well" I did see the flicker of doubt-insomnia-excitement hiding just behind your tired smile like a candle in the wind.
It is near impossible to sleep when you lie awake, when love lies awake in the next room.
But I am a coward, afraid of losing you long before I can call you mine. And so I while away the hours wondering if you want me to walk down the passage and crawl into your bed just as much as I do.
We lie awake instead, praying that sleep takes us and carries us across the boundary separating yesterday and tomorrow. To take you to a bright tomorrow me; into another lovesick Monday. But sleep evades us It is near impossible to sleep when I know you lie awake and love lies awake in the very next room.
So our first night in the house. Before the crush died of course. Why is it so hard to **** a crush?
You are only friends with me when it is convenient for you Ignore me every day Come into our room and stay quiet Coinhabitants; living but not talking I know if it weren't for living together you wouldn't want me around
We once were friends now I think you barely can stand to be around me What a shame
I remember the way you jumped into my arms and declared that you were my roommate when we stood in my old bedroom
The worst things about college is living with someone who was once your friend but is no longer
Once we were friends happy to be in each other's company but now she doesn't speak to me even though we inhabit the same space
I go through my day being the same as before but they ignore me and keep their heads down when I pass them in the hall or on the way to class
I live in a space where I am not wanted I live in a space where people talk around me I live in a space where girls talk about me when I'm not around
I wish I could leave but there is still 56 days left in the semester 44 days since the fall out that changed my college life forever That time has gone quickly but was not without distress or misery Will these 56 go by faster? I can hope
Tonight my empty soul misses its angelic mate With whom every precious moment was a date. Wonderous strides makes you look so beautiful Press your lips to my soul, let's curdle and be delightful Do you see the rainbow flower that I've become? Come to me, love of my life, for love injection, come. Come with me let's fly beyond today and go somewhere Like migratory birds, let's hop, there and everywhere. Right now with you I can't see through amourous hues Yet I love you beyond jazz, rock and rhythm and blues. Each moment with you makes me beam with smiles Tonight I rest Assured that the passion fruits is mines.
I'm not sure if I should complain anymore Maybe this is my fault, I literally chose this life Clothes on the floor, in the bathroom, overflowing everywhere And she sleeps comfortably 4 more weeks Lights burning until 5 am when you should probably be asleep because we both know you'll probably sleep through your 8 am, 8:15 am, 8:30 am alarms And your classes, how many have you missed this semester? Don't even reply I chose this life the moment I chose to live here But I didn't choose you I didn't choose random civilians sleeping on our floor Only to be alerted to their random comment on our behavior at 6 am when it's dark and the last thing a girl wants to hear in the midst of darkness is an unfamiliar male voice 4 more weeks I did not choose your habits The dishes have been piling up and Is that mold on your sponge, don't answer that either You laugh at the strangest things and maybe there shouldn't be a smile on your face while holding sharp objects I did not choose my polar opposite in the worst possible way We are like literal day and night and I never thought that I would hate it this much 4 more weeks Just 4 more and then nothing but the bliss of being alone again in a safe place My space