Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Oct 2019 · 185
Recorders of History
Nigdaw Oct 2019
We are the recorders of history
weirdos, winos forgotten souls
sideline shadows watching
for someone to fall, so we
can write a verse or two on tragedy
twist it out of our tormented minds
to show we care in our special way
but we do not change the world
for if there were no misery
we'd run out of material to write about
Oct 2019 · 335
Ugly
Nigdaw Oct 2019
You would stare if I were beautiful

but I offend your eyes
sideways glances emphasise
how afraid you are to look
confront that fear head on
people like me even exist

you sympathise of course
goes without saying, terrible
must be awful to live with

then you check your fingers
and toes, see how perfect they are
and move on, no more ugliness today
to spoil your mood.
Sep 2019 · 875
Silver Screen
Nigdaw Sep 2019
We walk
In glow of silver screen,
We talk
In acronyms and SMS slang,
The star
Of an everyday movie
Camera man, script writer, director
Floating in the ether
Weaving our tapestries,
Between radio masts
Life on earth, live on earth
Spaceman, time traveller
On a voyage of discovery,
Walking and talking to ourselves
Without noticing the outside world,
Only interested in our own
Biographies;
Time for another selfie…………….
"The people will not revolt. They will not look up from their screens long enough to notice what’s happening" - George Orwell ©
Sep 2019 · 729
Commute
Nigdaw Sep 2019
Black rain falls
ice cold
emotionless

desolate tarmac roads
puddles of ugliness form
devouring light
drawing in the world
dark matter
the abyss lies beyond
headlight's reach

reflected buildings distort
as cars spin
aquaplaning tyres
across mirrored
mercurial surfaces

downdraught suppresses
exhaust fumes
as dragon automobiles
slither their hissing way
neon lit fire breathing
monsters of road and byway

home is measured
by the length of the next queue
rather than miles per hour
Sep 2019 · 747
Couch Potato
Nigdaw Sep 2019
I sit and eat potato chips
on my couch in front of tv
I am a cannibal
sofa surfing
channel hopping
media crawling
it's the only exercise
I get these days
too busy observing
to join in
my critical critique
leaves me astounded
as to how absurd the world can be
missed penalties and opportunities
keep me ranting
panting in disbelief
reality isn't reality tv
everybody becomes an actor you see
they're just not famous
enough yet to be celebrity
one of these days I'll make the news
headline report with shocking footage
couch potato ate himself to death
binging on a 52 inch flat screen.
Sep 2019 · 318
The Leaf
Nigdaw Sep 2019
The leaf spreads
lungs of the earth

cloaking summer skies
from squinting eyes

but does it live for
that one gentle flight
of autumn, floating
to the ground
a few brief moments
of freedom
Sep 2019 · 445
Freedom Veil
Nigdaw Sep 2019
Afraid of our own shadow, but
yearning to be free, searching
for our utopian ideal

life's a beach
gravy, easy street

scared to loose the chains
with which we bind ourselves
break free from obligation

our 'destiny'

into chaos

open the door of our life cell
of order, routine
step through the veil
live the dream
but all we can do
is complain and complain
Sep 2019 · 539
Rainbow Arc
Nigdaw Sep 2019
We'll wake up and smell the coffee

God counts them in, three by three
rainbow children dancing free
forbidden fruit unfamiliar to Eve

the arc is leaving for the sinful to drown

so bring on the clowns, the jugglers
and actors, luvvies, lovers of flesh
summon them to entertain us
with original sin and panache
we set sail tomorrow at sunset
to wake in the morning to the smell
of coffee and angels burning
burning in Hell
Sep 2019 · 473
Mad Dog
Nigdaw Sep 2019
I'll bite and snarl at your wheels
rumbling past me up that hill
I know you'll never stop
leaving me stranded
a mad dog.
What some people will do for ambition.
Sep 2019 · 490
Rubbernecking
Nigdaw Sep 2019
I follow the slow funeralistic parade
Too late to escape, warning came
On the radio, way past my last exit
I wonder who has died today?
Cars pass what were once shiny projectiles
Such as they, but are now soulless wrecks
Burnt out, like X-rays.


Who fell asleep at the wheel
Or made that last telephone call
That just couldn’t wait, while
Still chasing time in the fast lane,
To catch up with a schedule that now
Is as redundant as the chunk of metal
He was still trying to pay for.


Flashing lights mark the perimeter
Of some executive’s last stand
An accident? Perhaps, but maybe
Life just became that bit too quick
And caught up with him
An overdose of technology, leading to
A breakdown in human capacity.


We, the survivors, look on with grief
That could’ve been me! But not
Thankfully today, speeding on our way
Soon forgetting the graphic lesson
Someone gave their all to paint
But we have to look, just to see
If anyone has really died today.
Sep 2019 · 260
Unseen Hand
Nigdaw Sep 2019
The pen scratches across 80gsm
whiteness polluted by thoughts
translated into ink stains

guided by some unseen hand
I sometimes write things
even I don't understand
Some of the lines here appear in Ghost Writing, I just re-hashed them to see what else I could produce.
Sep 2019 · 356
Russian Roulette
Nigdaw Sep 2019
Spin the chambers
Await your fate
Balance the odds
Against life and death
Everything rests
On one short second
That could last
For the rest of your life.


You sit now
A whole life ahead
But you take a needle
To inject some feeling
Can you hear the click
Ear-splitting bang
As the bullet flies
Freer than you’ll ever be.
Sep 2019 · 739
Wilderness
Nigdaw Sep 2019
A wilderness is untamed,
nature bursts forth in all its glory;
without the guidance and destruction of
man.
It is beautiful,
a place where the soul is free,
although it may be in danger.


A wilderness is here.


Concrete slabs put upright
with windows;
facing more concrete.
Trees are sparse and trained,
grass short and restrained;
people reign.
An empty kingdom
of blank angry emotion,
called civilisation;
where the soul is definitely in danger.


It is our wilderness.
Sep 2019 · 379
A Moment of Truth
Nigdaw Sep 2019
There is calm

early september pushes summer's
burning sun aside
light changes
air cools, like chilled water
on skin, drink it in

autumn beckons
winter threatens

there is a sadness in your heart
as the world changes
an eternal cycle of hellos
and goodbyes
punctuated with days
that you stick into that memory
scrapbook, which may or may not fade

but now there is this stillness
nothing is happening
before all Hell lets loose
I can be happy
savour a moment
a moment of truth.
Sep 2019 · 451
Feeding The Gulls
Nigdaw Sep 2019
He walks the end of the pier, alone
No home to go to,
A ghost in ragged clothes
Passing among the crowds,
Unseen and unheard
But he always feeds the gulls,
Their noisy raucous squabbling
Over a few scraps of bread,
Reminds him of how unhappy
All these tourists really are,
Pretending to enjoy their holiday
Kidding themselves they are free.
Sep 2019 · 790
Joy Ride
Nigdaw Sep 2019
Speed king

Stolen car
Tyre scream
Rush, adrenalin

Forget cops,
Don’t stop
In flight
Across night

Take your fill
Ride the thrill
Like a wave
Surfing on danger
Pushing limits
Better than any pill

Evidence
Cauterized
Charred remains
In the countryside

Someone’s pride and joy
Will be announced dead
On a doorstep
In the morning.
Sep 2019 · 700
Shoreham
Nigdaw Sep 2019
A Jet
In a clear blue sky
Leaving a faint vapour trail
Pure white across azure

Perfect summer day
People shopping, driving
Leaving the house with claims
Of “Be back soon”
Not knowing they’d never be fulfilled

A crowd, in anticipation
Packed like sardines
Around an arena, waiting to be awed
Wowed by the spectacle of flight
One man among the clouds
Mocking their gravitational prison

But today, worlds collide
Are destroyed
Man finds that fragile flight
Ends on a road at traffic lights
Not the spectacle expected
But no less dramatic, a ball of flame

The crowd take pictures for the press
Hoping for a mention on the news
And update facebook status
Under a sky of clear blue
I witnessed the crash at Shoreham Air Show on 22 August 2015.
Sep 2019 · 777
High Rise
Nigdaw Sep 2019
Inside this scaled down life
We move like goldfish
The pretence of an ocean
In four small rooms.
So many other lives swim
Within the same space
One upon another
Surrounded by the din
Of each other and the world
Passing by.


Is it any wonder
We have become insane
Looking for ways out
Expression through graffiti
Escape through drugs
Destroying the symmetry
Of our own environment
To mimic the bounty of nature
Destroying each other, for peace
And a chance to sleep alone.
Nigdaw Sep 2019
I have worn this shroud
For long enough;
The darkness of death
Has clipped my wings,
Weighing down pasty white flesh
Cold, prodding like fingers
Kneading, massaging skin
Into shivering numbness.


I would hibernate
Sleep until the warmth of spring
Brings life and colour again;
But I am not allowed escape
I must suffer a polar landscape
Inside nature’s fridge;
Live through this cleansing freeze
Dull and lifeless like the trees.
Sep 2019 · 551
Paper
Nigdaw Sep 2019
The shiny blade cuts
Running with the blood of the forest
We must have trees for books
To pass on knowledge
And political ethics.

So we destroy the world
Telling everybody how bad it is
To destroy the world.
Sep 2019 · 348
Bird Against a Window
Nigdaw Sep 2019
Like a bird against a window
I am convinced paradise lies beyond reflection
through  this force field

constantly chasing your shadow
I believe it guides me where I want to go
though it feints movement to fool me sometimes

I have bashed my brains out on false promises
and shadows are only after all
human shaped darkness
Sep 2019 · 403
Parent
Nigdaw Sep 2019
At first you will love me
With an honesty and truth,
Before you learn to use me
And abuse my love for you.


After a while you will hate me
Everything I do will be wrong,
And no kind words will touch you
Or cure the ills I’ve caused.


Then one day you’ll meet me
As an equal in life,
And find you never beat me
Or turned my love from you.


When you become a parent
You’ll understand such love,
Given without condition
And more than you can tell.
Aug 2019 · 414
Hunter Gatherer
Nigdaw Aug 2019
We will come to you in the end
On our hands and knees,
To worship at the altar of nature.
When money has become worthless
Cars are chunks of useless rusting metal,
And all the technology in the world
Hasn't saved our sorry ***.
Aug 2019 · 329
Echo
Nigdaw Aug 2019
From one
Many will come.
Like an echo
Continued in time;
Unique in their likeness
Universally the same;
Standing together, alone
Waving in unison,
As flags at the sun.
Life and colour
Is all they have,
That they share.
Written about a field of poppies, with more than just poppies in mind.
Aug 2019 · 238
Lie
Nigdaw Aug 2019
Lie
It fell from my lips
like a curse

death of truth

betrayal of trust

leaving a bad taste
that with time
would grow worse

feeding upon itself

it always does.
Aug 2019 · 658
Mother Nicotine
Nigdaw Aug 2019
*******
as though still on the breast
mother nicotine brings her comfort
warm feelings of belonging,
coming home

just five minutes to **** myself
grabbing a moment from life
to lose it from the other end

not the courage for suicide
instead
dying by degrees

dancing with the darkness
I kid myself I live
on the edge
pushing the envelope

but I'm a sad sack
with yellow fingers
looking for an answer
as flimsy as the smoke
that pollutes my lungs

love is a fickle thing.
Aug 2019 · 526
Hesitant
Nigdaw Aug 2019
We dip our toe into life's pool
and watch the ripples
affect the lives of those around us
hoping not to offend
but fit in, without too much disturbance

we may even walk a little way off shore
considering ourselves brave
to have come this far

but there are those who
regardless of how cold the water may be
will plunge head first, screaming
into the blue

I watch them, jealously
hesitating in the shallows.
Aug 2019 · 615
Secret
Nigdaw Aug 2019
A whisper
Caressing, touching
More than any flesh could touch.

A web, spun
Of the finest silk
Beautiful, but easily broken.

A gem
Shining bright, if only
It could be brought into the light.

A weapon
Atomic words
Mushrooming to cover a bright day

Then, fallout.
Aug 2019 · 716
The Ghost of a Tourist
Nigdaw Aug 2019
He watches them with amused scorn,
The tourists with their cameras
Factual guide books and audio tours;
Collecting his memories as their own
Walking from room to room,
Trying to sense his presence
Capture the essence of his spirit;
Ignoring the signs that say
Please don’t touch and
No photography.

He was a tourist who conquered worlds
Risked his life for his souvenirs,
Instead of visiting the gift shop
For some token piece of plastic crap,
Or magnet to put on the fridge door
As a reminder when they got the milk,
Of adventures they never had;
Wishing they could’ve walked
In the footsteps of the ghost,
Of a tourist.
Aug 2019 · 514
Embryonic Escape
Nigdaw Aug 2019
You cannot touch me here,
In the land of dreams...
Suspended between death and reality
By a slim thread of consciousness.
This is my space, my refuge
Where I can re enter
My embryonic state,
Before thought,
Before sight,
Before emotion;
Just the warmth of existence,
Not having to belong
Keep up,
Shape up,
Shut up,
Make something of myself
All I had to do was exist;
I was precious once,
A pearl in an oyster
Not a stone in your shoe.
Aug 2019 · 507
Bullet
Nigdaw Aug 2019
A kid makes a finger gun
With hammer thumb
To fire at passing traffic,
From the cover of his bunker bus stop;
In America he’d be an active shooter
****, they have names for it over there,
Here he’s just a ******* nuisance;
His shelter advertises a deodorant
Shaped just like and called bullet
Perhaps some subliminal message
Has entered his head
The power of advertising, the power of death.

For a deodorant that advocates love and attraction
It’s a strange message.
Aug 2019 · 431
Lambs to the Slaughter
Nigdaw Aug 2019
A train to the big city
Where the pavements are of gold
A job, a life, a future

A cardboard box in no-man’s land.

Why do they come? Refugees
From their own poverty
Here to share in ours.

There’s a boy in oblivion over there
A needle in his arm
And **** in his hair;
Sold to the dream of another world
Not here.

Some walk the streets you know
Teenagers, offering their bodies
Hoping to save their souls;
Pawning dignity for a take-away,
**** in sin city
For the rich and gay.

There is no gold here, you fools
Under the same sky you sleep
On the same wish you weep
Crying yourselves to sleep
Counting lambs to the slaughter.
Aug 2019 · 406
Anatomy
Nigdaw Aug 2019
You pull me apart
Like petals from a flower,
Love me, love me not
Tearing at my very being,
Until my innards are exposed
For all the world to see,
But no beauty in my nakedness,
Just exposure
Of my anatomy.
Aug 2019 · 591
Kurt Cobain
Nigdaw Aug 2019
I have danced the dance of this flame
Been lit in my own despair,
But my shadow put me to shame
A beacon that found me in a darkness,
I thought no light could penetrate
Shared my anguished heart,
Then stole my love away.

I have read the story of a life
Lived on the edge of existence,
Let down so much by those
Professing only love and acceptance;
I know that the end is the end
For history tells me so,
This is the end, my beautiful friend

And the darkness envelopes you.

Kurt Cobain has died again
Whoever reads must live this pain,
The truth has helped to shed some light
But Curt Cobain must die tonight.
Last chapter by my bedside lamp
And I live again with the consequence.
Aug 2019 · 423
Cell
Nigdaw Aug 2019
A room devoid of life
no less bland
than a hole in the ground,
but with a little more light
functional, bed, chair, table
and an intangible fear
of something it has (in abundance)
time, and plenty of it
Aug 2019 · 2.9k
Fisherman's Secret
Nigdaw Aug 2019
The waves hold secrets
of fishermen's lives
fishermen's wives

buried at sea
sacrificed
giving life
to the ones they love
left on the shore, looking out
to an endless horizon
praying for God's mercy, love

safe return
for the fishermen
and the fisherman's friends
who left port
with bravado, confidence
they could conquer Neptune's wrath
sail between heaven and hell
bringing home the catch
from the depths

celebrate another day of life
snatched from the precipice
of a watery grave
Aug 2019 · 498
Hurricane
Nigdaw Aug 2019
He gives her the butterfly as an act of beautification
Hoping nature can exemplify his feelings; A fragile life,
Balanced between death and existence in his fingers
Making sense of all the nonsense in his head.
He gives her the flowers in an act of affection
Even though they both know they are dead,
Only water prolonging the inevitable demise
Of colourful blooms returning to the earth
From where they once grew, like their love
Beautiful under the sun, natural and charming,
Until you told them that love is shown with silver
And gold, diamonds and pearls, chocolate and cards
High octane fast cars, exclusive meals in top restaurants
Theatre tickets and front row concerts, but the butterfly
***** it’s wings and somewhere in the world,
There is a hurricane.
Aug 2019 · 304
A Winter Memory
Nigdaw Aug 2019
I am sitting in the living room of my parent’s house;
If only these walls could talk they would tell tales
Of an open fire glowing in a darkened room, where
Curtains covered the windows, drawn against
The winter cold, chairs arranged around the grate
To capture the heat and if you left the circle
The air was icy against your face, but your body
Carried the memory of the warmth of naked flame.

And toast, cooked on the end of a toasting fork
That had a long handle, but was made of metal
So it heated up and burnt your fingers, but the
Flavour, melted butter and a slight taste of the
Coals, nothing like it can be reproduced, not even
On a gas stove (I know I’ve done it) trying to capture
Memories for my children to savour before TV,
iPads and central heating are all I can pass on.

We played cards, Sevens and Rummy I think it was
To amuse ourselves until it was bedtime, when we
Climbed the stairs to freeze between the sheets
Until finally our body heat won and warmed them,
I fell into a deep sleep, while a night light illuminated
The ceiling as I was afraid of the dark and made
Faces out of the patterned wallpaper; but now
This season looms for my dad, alone in this house,

As a dark and troubled time, my brother and I
Have flown the nest and memories of my mother
Who has passed, lurk in those dark shadows,
Where curtains cover the windows against the
Icy blast of winters cold fingers, short days
Offer a tunnel where the hope of spring beckons
At the end, not even the bright lights of Christmas
Offer much refuge, we will visit of course but he will
Always have those moments when these walls
Will talk to him, of how lonely life has become.
Jul 2019 · 351
Noise
Nigdaw Jul 2019
I can hear the noise of the world, always
In my ears, like the sea never leaves the shell,
No matter how far travelled by a beachcomber
Who takes their souvenir home.
No matter how far I roam, the world follows up
It’s chaotic tone, voices shouting, ringing phones,
Cars with car horns rushing to be late
Somewhere they really don’t want to go.
Fools, vagabonds, gypsies, businessmen, wives
Police and thieves, cannot escape the gravitational
Drag of the world on their destiny.
I can hear the swish of their existence in my sleep
It never leaves me, like the restless tide it creeps.
Jul 2019 · 444
Gun
Nigdaw Jul 2019
Gun
hammer click
whip crack
cordite burn

God
the power to take
or spare life
in the palm of a hand
lay down the law
terrorise
oppress
destroy

no returns
no time to apologise
a decision made in haste
regretted for life
Jul 2019 · 628
The Romance of Vinyl
Nigdaw Jul 2019
Removed from paper inner sleeve
shiny black disc
catching light, rainbows across the groove
carefully placed on turntable's
spinning platter
to keep finger marks at bay
spinning, 33 1/3
snap, crackle, pop
the needle takes flight
leading in to
the rumble of bass
crash of high hat
singer's lyrical weavings
a density of sound
the smell of vinyl
a whiff of aging cardboard sleeve
artwork fit for a gallery
Jul 2019 · 202
Fallen Angel
Nigdaw Jul 2019
She lights another cigarette,
Exhaling the smoke
Through her words
Like a cancer breathing dragon;

A tanned, wrinkled face
With two huge painted eyes,
Show the ghost of what
Was once a beautiful sight.

She can still hold your attention
With her graceful gestures,
****** expressions and soft voice
But somehow you just don’t……

Hear a **** word she says,
As though her beauty departed
Taking with it all sense.
She is somehow now a freak;

Ruined by the pursuit of trying
To keep one step ahead
Of the years, but each one
Has left a mark on her skin

Like the rings around a tree,
Count the winning smiles baby;
She is a fallen angel
Remembering the glory of heaven,

But now clipped wings
Cannot carry her that far.
Jul 2019 · 1.3k
Leather Jacket
Nigdaw Jul 2019
The cow wore this skin better than I,
A little baggy round the udder, maybe
But with a tail to keep off the flies.

I paid three hundred quid for a jacket;

With a smell that really attracts flies,
A little baggy round the shoulders, definitely
The cow wore this skin better than I.
Jul 2019 · 779
Beer and Pizza
Nigdaw Jul 2019
"What do you want"
she said

the will to carry on
a reason for my existence
some sort of direction
in my life

but she was only going to the shops
so
pizza and beer again
Jul 2019 · 234
War
Nigdaw Jul 2019
War
In my darkest hour
I throw prayers
like scraps of paper
blown by the wind
hoping a benevolent god
will want to hear them
while all around me
angels dip, gathering souls
by the armful to be borne
up into the heavens.
Jul 2019 · 810
Happy Birthday
Nigdaw Jul 2019
I have seen them,
lost among the rows of Marble and Granite
quietly whispering conversations
left too late in life

tears flooding from ducts
that spontaneously leak with sorrow
emotion they have no control of
bursting from deep within

they lay flowers
and sometimes trinkets, imagining
somewhere
the person they are talking to
is watching over them

last weekend it was my turn
for the first time, laying my offering of roses
though I didn't know what to say
except,
"Happy birthday Mum"
Jul 2019 · 425
Taxi Driver
Nigdaw Jul 2019
Written after seeing the film of the same name, starring Robert De Niro.

I drive these lonely streets at night
Picking up shadows from under street lights
I'll take anyone, kooks, pushers, hookers
I'll travel any place, don't bother me
Not my business the hours these people keep.
The rain lashes down, blurring the bright lights
Like a watercolour painting, mixing, blending
Some day a great rain will come
And wash all the **** off the streets.

I feel inside me a change coming
Someone must somehow stop
The users and abusers of the innocent,
There must be one to make a stand.
I see young girls, fourteen or fifteen
Walking the sidewalk for the pleasure of creeps
Selling the dream of teenage ***;
What dreams do they have locked away
Washed into the gutter by the rain.

I see drug pushers selling people's lives
On the dream of a trip to the wild side
Everyone is trying to get out, escape
But the streets have a grip you cannot see,
You can buy a potion to get you high
But from this hell there is no easy exit.
Some come to this circus to trade
They need to live their life of lies
And I am the ferryman to the other side.

Some day a great rain will come
To wash away all of this ****,
Women will be able to walk safe, alone
Without looking over their shoulder;
I feel a change coming in me
I must be the one to make a stand,
These children of sin need a home
Somewhere to shelter from the storm,
Then maybe I can sleep nights again.
Jul 2019 · 651
Fragments
Nigdaw Jul 2019
Coffee
Rich and dark
Slowly spinning in a white cup,
Therapeutic aromatherapy
Creating a warm feeling
Even sophisticated,
A smell that sells houses


Breakfast
Sizzling, crackling into life
Taste-buds still blurred
From the grogginess of sleep,
Bacon and eggs
Like Morecambe and Wise
An inseparable odd couple


Newspaper
Folded and re-folded
Onto an article of vague interest,
Words from another world
Unimaginable, war torn, desolate,
Colder than the rain-washed street
Outside this café window


Cigarette
The first of the day
Smouldering between yellowed
Fingers moulded to its shape,
Smoke slightly burning eyes
That are awakening to
Another fragment of life
Jul 2019 · 383
Sheets
Nigdaw Jul 2019
Virginal linen
Clean sheets that are washed of sin
Unsoiled by past loves
Jul 2019 · 273
Mother
Nigdaw Jul 2019
She sits
Watching tv
Omnipresent being
Glasses on the end of her nose
Eyes closed

Sometimes
Lost in a book
A bit of a thriller
She could always detect a lie
Bad vibes

Dab hand
In the kitchen
Always something cooking
We’re the recipe for children
She made

Mother
Always at home
Waiting for our return
To hear news of great adventures, the
Nest flown

Our lives
Are souvenirs
She collects our memories
Travelling with us through our days
From home
Next page