I know your lost, scared, and confused
stumbling around but you got your feet on the ground
You learned to keep you head up high
They told you just marching soldier
They asked you why the frown
with each step you slowly come undone
And your upset because the battle is not yet done
So you struggle as they beat you down and ask you why the frown

I wish I could yell out all my anger
I wish I could cry away my sadness
I wish I could be allowed to feel my feelings but that is not the way a lady behaves.
So, I cross my legs
So, I smile and nod
So, I pretend

Tormented by the voices
That rattle against my head.
The whirlwind, spinning, and twisting my thoughts.

The outside a picture of perfect calm
Perfectly happy
Smile and nod

The beauty in his eyes
The wicked smile that would lead to my own demise
But I was drawn to the ocean in his heart
The calming wind of his rage
Constantly inconsistent
My love for him rages on

Sleepy but not tired
Eyes closed but not asleep
I see you when I daydream

The heat of the moment
Recklessly careful movements
Darkness so the curtain can fall
Everything is now

The moon
That's what I see when people talk about their flaws
I don't believe the moon exists.

Stomach in knots
Eyes on the ground
Scared of the words
People spew out of there mouth
Scared of the voices
The doubt spread by fear
Anxiety screaming out

The heavy weight pressed against my chest as I stumble over the words.
Falling on my face has become inevitable but yet I still hope you will catch me.

Lost in a sea of words, drowning under the weight.

Tired of fighting when the darkness finally consumes me I will welcome it like a long lost friend.

We create a divider between the people in the struggle to be better then one another
What has this world became in the mass destruction for a single rose
Just to trample over hundreds of others
When did the evil win
When did we start to give up

Calming playful breeze runs it's fingers through my hair
  Salt water gently nips at my ankles
I watch the sunset over the ocean
The mix of colors setting just right over the horizon
Getting lost in the warmth of the moment
Losing myself to the picture

I feel nothing
The world is dead to me I am lost in my own silence
I no feel the torment of your abuse
I  no longer hear you bringing me down with every step of the way
I don't feel anything and I have never been more at peace

Why is the silence so loud
Why is everyone watching me
Did I do something wrong
Tormented by my own mind
Outside I'm fine
But inside I am screaming
Breaking at the seams

You can't do this to me
You can't leave me like this
Don't tell me pretty little lies
Don't say your my everything when in realty you are nothing
Don't rip me down the seam
Don't tell me your here when you are really somewhere else
In your mind you are still with her
I will always be second

Love is fake
People have made it to were it is just a word
The use it and abuse it
Tearing people down inch by inch
Till they can't even trust themselves
It gives people fake hope
It makes then believe in something that isn't real
It makes people go insane
Never really knowing if its real or not

We are expected to put on make up for the same people who will just use and abuse us
Why do people define a girl as a boys plaything
We are so much more than that
We are united against a idea
The idea that trys to hold us back but we will not allow it
We will push a little harder then any guy out their, we will run a little faster
Just to prove that we are equal to them

Girls think they fall in love with guys
But they do not understand what's falling in love
Because I fell in love with a place
I fell in love with this place and now it holds my heart
I am never happy if I am not there
I don't feel if I am not there
I fell in love with a place that got ripped out of my hands

The only mistake I made is you

Faking being happy
Lies served with a smile
Boredom seeps from the cracks
Scared smothered and covered with false personality
Insecurities fed with food to make us feel better
Tear drops behind closed doors
Death’s associated with happiness justs so we don’t break down
Because when we break down people can see us for what we really are
Depressed
Lying
Bored
Scared
Insecurity
Crying
Fake

Am I really the death of you
The reason that you failed at life
Could I fix the  problem if I am the problem

Deadly snakes twist their way up my back
I was their tamer but the are not tame
They slowly twist and I see my life flash before my eyes
But is it wrong to say that I am glad I am gone

My life is in your hands but you don’t need to save me
I am nothing to you but your everything to me
Leaving me to the idea that nothing is good or loving
But that everything is black and bleck

I guess what you give is what you get
I didn’t realise what it felt until I got what I deserved
Tossed out like trash I am
Abandoned by my best friend just like the horrible friend I am
Rejected like the Reject I am
Played with like the player I am
Life dies in front of me into a puddle of understanding and feeling sorry for what I put other people into……..

When I tell people that I don't like the way I look I get three responses your beautiful, change it, or yeah.
But no one every asked me why I feel that way.

They tell me fight back, but is it worth fighting.

People have led me to believe that I am not good enough
They don’t think of the consequences of what they say anymore
I cry behind closed doors wondering what I did wrong to be the way I am

People don’t understand the impact they have on other people’s lives. They act as if they are the only ones with that are allowed to be upset. Sometimes I  wish I could go back into time

I don’t know what to do anymore….
People here are so fake it's funny
They put on a show  for the world
Fake being brave is one thing but to fake who you are is another

How does nobody see the mask that everybody puts on
Is it because they are so busy fixing their own

What happened to everyone…
I don’t even know my real friends anymore

I told you so
Why did you make take a risk that led to my death
Why did I die, a horrible death
I didn’t want to take a blind leap of faith
Why when i told you what was going to happen
Was it for your selfish need
I promised you I would do anything for you
But your just like the rest using me for your own selfish purposes.

Tears splatter over the keyboard
He is yours not mine
Why do I do the things that I do
(I think I  like you)Backspace and delete
I can't do that your hers
and she is yours I don't fit in
So please don't get mad when I cut you off completely
I can't do this if your in front of me all the time
so instead I type ( I can't stand you) send

One day she asked "How come we always choose poison over water?"
"The kind that takes our lives without a second thought"
  "The kind of poison that will be the death of us"
And then he said " Because it's sweeter."

I will sing to you until fall deep into a sleep you will not wake up from
I will tell you everything is ok when it is not
You didn't expect it
So it never happened
You never left
And you don't know that your gone

We all have that someone who reminds us of ourselves
That someone who is like a drug to the weak
That someone that is off limits
That someone that we care about
That someone that will never know how much you help and protect them
That someone can never know that it's been this way for a long time
That someone that doesn't know that you stole glances at from across the room
That someone that is sweet poison
That person that you would only wish the best too
That person that is off limits

The place where I am from
Its full of love
peace
happy people
kindness
life
hope
The place where I am from is not the place where I am at
The place where I am at
Is full of hate
distrust
mad people
tricks
death
hopelessness

My first monster
As the blood drips through the cracks of your fake disguise
Skin peeling off from the fake body you claimed as your own
You wear the face of a friend but the intents of my worst foe
Lust seeping from every pore of your body
My second monster
The face of a man twisted until it hurts
The sound of his merciless crys
Limping slowly towards my bed post
They crawl towards me
And I hold them close because they are just like me
hiding behind a disguise, and withering in pain.