No one's here to hear my pleas
You said you be back but you never came
A false thread of hope torments me
As I scream out for help your hope has done nothing but plunge me deeper into the water
Finally I stop trying and accept my fate
You were to late
All hope has to eventually deflate
I see you walk through the halls with her
She wears your new jacket
She wears your new smile
She wears your new life
Do you recognize me
I wear your old jacket
I wear your old smile
I wear your old life
I wear you no more
I wear a stranger that you no longer know
My first monster
As the blood drips through the cracks of your fake disguise
Skin peeling off from the fake body you claimed as your own
You wear the face of a friend but the intents of my worst foe
Lust seeping from every pore of your body
My second monster
The face of a man twisted until it hurts
The sound of his merciless crys
Limping slowly towards my bed post
They crawl towards me
And I hold them close because they are just like me
hiding behind a disguise, and withering in pain.
You are no longer the same
Your smile has be beaten so bad that I can no longer recognise it
Your eyes scream that your in pain while you fake a smile
You keep your mouth shut and your thoughts to yourself
You used to be outgoing and happy
You used to be very opinionated
You used to have a smile that could light up the whole town
What happened to your laugh can you no longer use it
What happened to your smile can you not repair it
What happened to your confidence can you not find it
That's ok I will help you repair what is broken, find what is lost, use what is discarded, I will bandage up what has been beaten. I will help...
Why is the silence so loud
Why is everyone watching me
Did I do something wrong
Tormented by my own mind
Outside I'm fine
But inside I am screaming
Breaking at the seams
Sometimes it is better to delete the person with the messages. Wash their toxic touches off one by one. Cry until you drench the image of them. Scream until you can no longer hear their voice and Erase their name from your brain. Say their name over and over until their name loses flavor. So when someone says their name in a conversation you no longer know who they are talking about.
Calming playful breeze runs it's fingers through my hair
Salt water gently nips at my ankles
I watch the sunset over the ocean
The mix of colors setting just right over the horizon
Getting lost in the warmth of the moment
Losing myself to the picture
You do not understand
I feel like screaming
Listen I am not done
I demand an answer
I can't be thrown away like that
I am not alive to serve you hand and foot
Don't play innocent
You have never been innocent
I was just stupid
I am to trusting I couldn't see the fact that you where using me
But I am just a child what could I know
I know that I cared but you didn't...
Deadly snakes twist their way up my back
I was their tamer but the are not tame
They slowly twist and I see my life flash before my eyes
But is it wrong to say that I am glad I am gone
I am so sick of being used
Torn down and abused
betrayed and bruised
but they say at least I have a use
The place where I am from
Its full of love
The place where I am from is not the place where I am at
The place where I am at
Is full of hate
I sit here not over there with the smart kids
I sit here not over there with the "cool" kids
I sit here not over there with the happy kids
I sit here not over there with the emo kids
I sit here not over there with the dorky kids
I sit here not over there with the gamer kids
I don't fit in anywhere
Am I really the death of you
The reason that you failed at life
Could I fix the problem if I am the problem
I bet you would be so proud of me I found myself again
Under piles of makeup and disgust
Under tank tops to hide the problem areas
Underneath a couple of years of disguise
There I was trying to not forget who I am
We all have that someone who reminds us of ourselves
That someone who is like a drug to the weak
That someone that is off limits
That someone that we care about
That someone that will never know how much you help and protect them
That someone can never know that it's been this way for a long time
That someone that doesn't know that you stole glances at from across the room
That someone that is sweet poison
That person that you would only wish the best too
That person that is off limits
Death I can tell you have always wonder what it would feel like to die.
Would it be painless, will you remember the ones you loved, or will you see how they talked about you when you were not around?
Will they even notice your gone or will they be over it in a day only talking about you to have others feel bad?
Will the people who hated you the most talk bad about you like always or will they pretend that you were their best friend?
As I scribble all the the questions I want to ask you
I slowly die inside knowing that I if I have trouble saying hi
how am I going to ask you the questions on my mind
I know what it feels like
to feel worthless
to be told to **** myself
to be late to class just to avoid my bullies
to ask teachers for help and not get help
I hate to say it but if I had the chance to make them pay for what they did, I would
I don't understand why anybody would feel the need to push someone past their breaking point. I have been bullied before and everybody told me to forgive and forget but it's my choice so what if I don't want to forgive and forget.
One day she asked "How come we always choose poison over water?"
"The kind that takes our lives without a second thought"
"The kind of poison that will be the death of us"
And then he said " Because it's sweeter."
I will still be waiting here for you to return
You will be damaged and broken
But it is the only time you turn to your real friends
You didn’t love him because you don’t destroy something you love. He lost inside.
I don’t know what to do about it.
Ever since she left him, he has been lost I can tell the only reason he let me in is to pick up the pieces a broken heart and find a lost soul.
She had the dignity to tell me she was just using him. That is one secret that I will take to the grave.
I can tell that he doesn’t want to suffer alone, but I am suffering hearing him tell me how he feels about it.
The one person that would take a bullet for me, protect me no matter what I did, my only true friend, is suffering and I don’t know how to fix it.
Have you ever watch something you love be destroyed by the hands of others.
If you have you know how I feel the despair, loneliness, and the fact that you know you can’t fix it.
Does that mean that they don’t notice how you feel or does it mean that your just their second choice?
Would you notice
The people dying from hunger if they were on your doorstep
Would you notice
The broken and abused kids if the were sleeping in your bed
Would you notice
The neglected and hopeless pets if they were in your backyard
Would you notice
The hurt and unclean young girls if they were in your living room
Would you notice the people in need of help if they were right in front you face
Pain and anger
It feels as if it's not me
I feel like a puppet doing and saying as you command
I feel like a fool only meant to sit still and lifeless until you say otherwise
I am not a human anymore but an object that does and says what I am told to
Do you know who I am
I don't know who you are
So how do you know me
I see you staring but I don't know your name
I don't know who you are
I wished I did because
You make people laugh
You make them smile
You make them happy
Maybe with a ghost I could be happy too
To a ghost from the past
Take care of it
Take care of your problems
Because we don't like how you are
I just sit back and laugh
Well I don't like how you are
How about you take care of your own drama
How about you fix your clothes so it doesn't show everything
And finally How about you change your opinion on how a girl should look and act
Because I think your funny
Nobody really cares
If they cared then they would say someting
however they stay quite
and watch my slowly die inside
all they have ever said is that I could handle it
well guess what
I CAN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE
Tears splatter over the keyboard
He is yours not mine
Why do I do the things that I do
(I think I like you)Backspace and delete
I can't do that your hers
and she is yours I don't fit in
So please don't get mad when I cut you off completely
I can't do this if your in front of me all the time
so instead I type ( I can't stand you) send
I knew as soon as I seen you I was in trouble.You held a shotgun and a smile. How was I supposed to run away from You, when all I want to do was run towards you?
How am I supposed to hide from the one thing I want to keep close by me? How was I supposed to fight you, when I couldn't even stand to see you hurt? I stand there as you smile and then I understand this is what you want from me.
If my death is all I have to offer you, then who am I to complain if you take it. After all they say that death is the sweetest when one is with their love one during the last moments.
When you tell someone that you would take a bullet for them, that still counts if they are the ones behind the gun.
I guess what you give is what you get
I didn’t realise what it felt until I got what I deserved
Tossed out like trash I am
Abandoned by my best friend just like the horrible friend I am
Rejected like the Reject I am
Played with like the player I am
Life dies in front of me into a puddle of understanding and feeling sorry for what I put other people into……..
When I tell people that I don't like the way I look I get three responses your beautiful, change it, or yeah.
But no one every asked me why I feel that way.
I didn't notice until it was to late for me to change my fate
You used me for your twisted uses until you got bored
It was like a withdraw
You left me when you had someone new to play your twisted game with
I didn't understand I guess I didn't get the memo
Because the day you left I still tried to say hello
How does nobody see the mask that everybody puts on
Is it because they are so busy fixing their own
push him away
2. stop talking about him to your friends
3. start talking to new people
4. start going out more
5.start looking at guys
6. I bet you don't even know his name anymore
People have led me to believe that I am not good enough
They don’t think of the consequences of what they say anymore
I cry behind closed doors wondering what I did wrong to be the way I am
Let's put it the way it is I am not pretty, skinny, or smart enough for anybody
I don’t know what to do anymore….
People here are so fake it's funny
They put on a show for the world
Fake being brave is one thing but to fake who you are is another
people hide behind fake people nobody is what the seem.
Am I the ghost from the past that follows you around
Am I the nobody you are try to shake
Am I the outcast that you don't care about
Am I the loser nobody needs
I told you so
Why did you make take a risk that led to my death
Why did I die, a horrible death
I didn’t want to take a blind leap of faith
Why when i told you what was going to happen
Was it for your selfish need
I promised you I would do anything for you
But your just like the rest using me for your own selfish purposes.
Why do people push me to do things I don't want to do?
Broken and confused
I sit alone watching the world go by
Nobody pays me any attention
So alone I sit
Facing the world by myself
I used to think that we were friends
But that was back before you were accepted
You are no longer the book that can't fit on the shelf
I used to think that everybody should be your friend
But now I see how it has changed you
I used to think that we could have been everything and more
But that was before people knew your name
That was before you meet them
That was before
This is the after
Your friendship means everything to me
But only when you can do something for me
Why haven't you replied I texted you ten minutes ago
Doesn't answer a text for three months
You told me you loved me
You told me you cared
You told me that I was your bestfriend
Only to let me find out that you were just using me
My secrets where given away to smoke and mirrors
Did you really think I wouldn't find out
I knew all along but lied to myself for you
Why can't we all just get along
Aren't we all apart of the same race The human race
I believe that we should be proud of where we came from
I believe that we should all be able to hold are heads up high no matter what we are
I believe that we should be equal in the eyes of others
I believe that we should not be judge by where we came from, but by how we
I believe that we are all the same no matter what we
I believe that we are equal
If we fall all the time why do we get back up?
If we are destined to die why do we try to fight it?
We set ourselves up for disappointment
By trusting people when we can’t even trust ourselves
What happen between us
We used to be friends now you avoid talking about me much less talking too me
I used cry every night wondering why I have lost you as a friend
Now I just lay down and stare at the window numbly wondering what I did wrong...
I will sing to you until fall deep into a sleep you will not wake up from
I will tell you everything is ok when it is not
You didn't expect it
So it never happened
You never left
And you don't know that your gone
This is about someone dying, so they never left....
I wish I could yell out all my anger
I wish I could cry away my sadness
I wish I could be allowed to feel my feelings but that is not the way a lady behaves.
So, I cross my legs
So, I smile and nod
So, I pretend
Nobody showed me how to love in school
I never learned the definition
I never had vocab test on it
Never read a chapter in those stupid textbooks on it
Never watched a bill nye video on it
So how was I supposed to know when you said I love you You were lying
You can't do this to me
You can't leave me like this
Don't tell me pretty little lies
Don't say your my everything when in realty you are nothing
Don't rip me down the seam
Don't tell me your here when you are really somewhere else
In your mind you are still with her
I will always be second
My life is in your hands but you don’t need to save me
I am nothing to you but your everything to me
Leaving me to the idea that nothing is good or loving
But that everything is black and bleck
It's ok I know I am not worth saving
Do you notice me
Why do people always ask that of themself
I don't understand why people care so much about the way they look,
We should all be fine without being noticed
We should be happy with the way we look, walk, talk, weigh, love
You feel better cutting your woes away?
I see you hide the scars that you can’t help but give yourself.
Falling in the darkness and not having the strength to pull yourself out.
I can’t help but watch as you fall again and blame yourself for something you didn’t do.
How can you help someone up who pushes themselves down? Slowly wishing for death in the darkness of a bathroom.
Crying out for death to take the pain away you mutter I feel better
They tell me fight back, but is it worth fighting.
Is life worth the fight anymore...