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  Jan 11 hannah
at the age of eleven
my very own grandmother
compared me to my sister
she told me
i was too fat
i was too loud
i was too talkative

i spent the past eleven years
making sure to
starve myself
always be quiet
to never speak my mind

i starved myself til
every single bone was visible
i shut my mouth
through every moment
of physical and emotional abuse
i agreed to everything everyone
picked out for me
never speaking up for myself

am i enough yet grandma?
  Jan 11 hannah
I can’t do this anymore
Walk away and shut that door
Constriction’s my conviction, I’m on a stage
Act the part and turn the page
Too stuck, under fumbling fingers I lay
Eyes to heaven, loudly pray
Send me an angel, send me a line
Grasping the truth, not another “I’m fine”
So I shrink away; I hide in fear
My shadow sheds her silver tears
I bleed these words on my bedroom floor,
For I can’t do this anymore.
  Jan 11 hannah
French rose
Boy: love is so overrated

Girl: are you afraid of falling in love

Boy: no i am just afraid that i will hurt you and not love you enough. I am afraid i wont treat you like the queen you are. I am afraid that i will act like a **** towards you. I am mostly afraid of not loving you enough and letting go of you.
  Jan 11 hannah
Ariana Bagley
there’s a girl
with pretty brown eyes
and the biggest smile that flashes
as she walks past you in the halls
she never seems to carry a frown
or be anything but happy
she carries an aura that makes you think of the color yellow
and people notice in her walk
and in her talk
that she is never troubled
this brown-eyed girl
comes home every sundown
with tear stained cheeks as her head hits the pillow
and is left with a sleepless night full of thoughts and dreams
she rehearsed that if anyone asked
she would respond with
“I’m used to it.”
may 8, 2018 (10:02 PM)
  Jan 11 hannah
Jon York
You are
and I am

You are
and I am

You are
and I am

You are
and I am

We loved with a love that was more than love and you were a risk, a mystery, and the most certain thing I'd ever known.

Because I could watch you for a single minute and find a thousand things that I love about you.

Will you travel with me? Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

Love is not a reflection of your soul, but the way your soul fits with another.
                                                                               Jon York   2019
  Dec 2018 hannah
ⁱ ᵐⁱˢˢ ʸᵒᵘ
ⁱ ᵐⁱˢˢ ʸᵒᵘ

ᴵ'ᵛᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵃʳⁿᵉᵈ ᵃⁿʸᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ⁿᵉʷ
ᵃⁿᵈ ˢᵉᵉ

ⁱᵗ'ˢ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵃᵐᵉ

ʸᵒᵘ ˡᵉᶠᵗ ᵃⁿ ᵉᵐᵖᵗʸ

ᵗᵉᵃᶜʰ ᵐᵉ ʰᵒʷ ᵗᵒ ᵈʳᵃʷ
ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵃʳⁿᵉᵈ

ᴵ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ᶠⁱⁿⁱˢʰ
ᵗʰᵉ ʸᵉᵃʳ ʷⁱᵗʰᵒᵘᵗ ʸᵒᵘ

ʷⁱˡˡ ᴵ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ⁱᵗ
ᵗⁱˡˡ ˢᵖʳⁱⁿᵍ

ʷⁱˡˡ ᴵ ˢᵉᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗʳᵉᵉ ᵇˡᵒᵒᵐ

I only look forward to seeing the man on the moon
He is
more than a cold December day
He is
more than the 18th
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