the darkness was
more comfortable to me
so long as I was in
your shadow.

I worry that maybe
you are not the same person
I perceived you to be.
Maybe you are different,
or maybe you deceived me
like all the ones before.

No, you can't.
You can't just sweep someone
off their feet and
walk away.

I saw the
spring sun
in your eyes.
The way the yellow light
danced off those beautiful orbs,
like bumblebees on dandelions.
These moments of gold
may one day fall
into autumn's grasp
but the sweet taste it leaves
in my mouth will never dim.
Sweet as honey,
sweet as amber.

Hand in hand,
dancing in the snow
where time doesn't matter.
And even though we
remain in the darkest corner
upon the darkest shelf
of this antique shop,
we have found each other-
may this moment last forever.

If only I was
physically tired
rather than
mentally tired
at the end of
each day.

A dream about you
over this reality
is preferable

9:21 PM
31/5/19

It is important
not to dwell on these things-
they have a way of
eating you alive.
The best thing you
can do now is shut up,
look forward,
and never back.

Look forward,
and never back.

You deserve to win
the Nobel Peace Prize
for bringing peace to this heart.
It has known nothing
but war and disarray
for far too long.
Thank you.

The world watches.
They hold their breaths
as the ballots are cast-
a responsibility and gift
not to be taken
for granted.

We were two
frozen raindrops
in a greying cloud of love.
Our collision sparked
the perfect storm.

It always
ends the same-
you found someone,
you turn away and
just like that,
the magic
is gone.

a fragment of you
still lodged somewhere in my heart
bleeding with each beat

Every moment we
have spent together will
live in me forever.
These moments are ours,
and mine alone,
living in between each
heartbeat and behind
every smile until
the end.

It’s been awhile
since I last heard your voice.
I miss the way it soothed
every atom in my body.
It’s been awhile
since I last felt your touch
I miss the way it healed
me to the core of my soul.

Perhaps time did not stop,
but life,
as I know it,
did.
Whenever I look back,
I'm still there,
amidst the chaos
and frozen
in time.

We were born alone
and we will surely die alone.
So in the meantime,
won't you hold me
close?

****, is it December already?
I've only just caught up
on all these feelings,
these changes and
days flown by.
They have all come and
gone like a stranger-
and now it is ending.

Still, the sun has not yet
made her appearance in my day.
If you feel this way,
sometimes that’s okay.
She will shed her light
when it’s her time
to shine.

She said I was loved
I said that you don't know me
or what I have done

9:16 PM
27/7/19

The stars will rise
into the night sky
while the waves will ride
the eternal sea.
No time,
no space,
no deep or no high
Could ever keep this
away from me.

Summer has
only just begun,
yet it feels like winter
now that you are here.
Hell will freeze over
by the time all is
said and done.

You’re in the colours
I see everyday and you’re
in the rainbows I see
on special days.
Even though I don't see you anymore,
you still make up the spectrum
that gives my life beauty.
I don't see how I could forget you
when you're still painting
the colours in my life.

Dear diary;
last night I met the moon.
She forgot how to shine in
the darkest of nights.
We grew close-
a bittersweet bond
since one of us
was fading
away.

Poets are a strange bunch-
we enjoy the fall until we've hit the ground.
Sometimes we push ourselves if
for nothing but the art.
Oh, how we find that spark
in the darkness of suffering.
Indeed, what a mad bunch we are,
to find sanity in our madness
and I wouldn't have it
any other way.

So foolish to
think that we are enough for
each other’s demons

why is it that we
only believe the bad things
they say about us?

9:27 PM
10/9/19

The ending
is just the beginning
repeating-
a pretty stranger
that I wish to see
again.

No matter how dark
your petals may wither
just remember to keep shining
and pushing through the dirt.

You walked away
as if it were nothing
whereas I could not even
imagine turning my back.
I don't know if I should
envy or despise
you.

Dear diary;
today I
did not write,
I did not paint,
and I did not compose.
I did not live today but,
then again, I guess that's
no different to any other day.

Stop wearing
my favorite colour
It makes you that much
more beautiful.

I made a home in
our old photographs
just so I could feel you
near
again

I still hear
our favorite song
from time to time.
Each note still sets the key of you
and they're still ringing out
in my head.
There is no pause button
for this harmony
of you.

the poems in my
heart are still a home for all
the angels I've loved

7:13 PM
9/8/19

There are only so many battles
one can fight at any point in time.
to be struggling on so many battlefronts
can leave you weary and even broken
whether they are mental
or physical.
For a mere human mind or body
to be occupied on so many fronts-
well, they were never designed
for that sort of pain.

Has anyone tried
to untangle the mess your
heart has endured?

6:33 PM
7/11/20

you knew how
to take my breath away.
To this very day,
I still find it hard
to breathe.

How can my
pillow still smell of you?
How do my lips
remember yours as if
they were my own?
Memories that don't exist
torment me
day after day,
night after night.

There are  many who
do not like truths because they
are so full of lies

7:54 PM
1/8/23

I need you to be
more in or more out since I
can't do the 'middle'

8:13 PM
8/6/19

This pain will fade.
Pinch yourself once you
can feel again and
remember what it feels
to be human-
to be alive.

How am I
supposed to believe you
when all of your sweet
but empty words
and promises smell of
someone else’s name?

When the distance
begins to burn,
I call you 'the sea'.
Suddenly, you are here and
you wash away every flame
in my heart, my soul,
and my mind.

They say two weeks 'til
I don't miss you anymore
but I have lost count

9:52 PM
1/7/21

I know that this is
going to torture me for
the rest of my life

11:09 PM
26/3/23

What is sadder:
to forget or to remember?

One, two,
crush on you.
Three, four,
miss you more.
Five, six,
my heart you fix.

The love in your heart
will always be stronger than
the hurt in your heart

11:50 PM
11/11/21

I wonder where you
are now and I wonder where
I am now these days

7:32 AM
26/8/19