We would do anything
to avoid the goodbye.
These last few days I
am left wondering
"will I ever see you again?"
and I wonder if you ask it too.
Indeed, each day brings us closer
to not having one another
and it's eating me up inside.
What will these arms caress,
what will these lips taste
once you are gone?
Must we resort to memories
to keep ourselves alive?

One, two,
crush on you.
Three, four,
miss you more.
Five, six,
my heart you fix.

I am a scarecrow-
crooked teeth and
a crooked heart.
I'm in shambles swaying
in the darkest nights
so full of terrors-
yet they are so
exhilarating.

****, is it December already?
I've only just caught up
on all these feelings,
these changes and
days flown by.
They have all come and
gone like a stranger-
and now it is ending.

There are only so many battles
one can fight at any point in time.
to be struggling on so many battlefronts
can leave you weary and even broken
whether they are mental
or physical.
For a mere human mind or body
to be occupied on so many fronts-
well, they were never designed
for that sort of pain.

A dismal duet-
more like a sad solo
of two hearts
breaking in harmony.
Their tone is flat and
the lyrics don't rhyme.
The melody has gone
astray and the
music dies.

You take the dirt
of this life and
turn it into
sunflowers.

I wasn't prepared to be right-
but I knew you would find
someone else
and I knew you would be happier
with them-
even happier than you were with me.
I knew you wouldn't miss me anymore
and I knew you would move on.

Dear diary;
sometimes I feel like
I am the side character
in my own
story.

How am I
supposed to believe you
when all of your sweet
but empty words
and promises smell of
someone else’s name?

We were two
frozen raindrops
in a greying cloud of love.
Our collision sparked
the perfect storm.

Light dances off your red dress;
I think I adore you.
But it’s never the right time,
the clock ticks and distance
drags us apart like two galaxies
helpless against the dark energy
that keep us in our place.
It only reminds me
that time is running out;
that we’re moving further apart
and never toward one another..
Oh, what I wouldn’t give to hold you
to hear your voice guide me to sleep,
to undo this dark energy between us.

Social media has a
way of warping reality
for good or for worse.
Do not let it make you feel left behind-
the only person you should be
comparing yourself with
is yourself.

Now,
each step
is the farthest
I’ve ever gone without you
and when I look back and
see the moon above the city where you sleep,
the more I realize that I left my heart
underneath your pillow.

How many nights
have you laid awake
wondering if life
will ever change?

You walked away
as if it were nothing
whereas I could not even
imagine turning my back.
I don't know if I should
envy or despise
you.

the darkness was
more comfortable to me
so long as I was in
your shadow.

There are  many who
do not like truths because they
are so full of lies

7:54 PM
1/8/23

why is it that we
only believe the bad things
they say about us?

9:27 PM
10/9/19

Perhaps time did not stop,
but life,
as I know it,
did.
Whenever I look back,
I'm still there,
amidst the chaos
and frozen
in time.

Whenever
you are ready
to let down your guard
and break down the walls,
I promise to pick up
every brick
and rebuild you
as if to rebuild
my home.

I thought I was over you
until I saw your smile,
a sad smile-
oh, how I wish I could
fix that smile.
I try to justify the flutter
of my heart at the
mere sight of you.
That smile on your face-
oh, how I wish it was
still for me.

I wrote a story
somewhat less than swell but you
read it to the end.

21/5/19
7:09 PM

I wish her well in
an awful year and I hope
to make her forget

6:10 PM
14/9/19

Dear diary;
There are some days-
days like today-
where I have no place for this world.
Other days,
I feel like perhaps this world
has no place
for me.

They always crawl back
expecting you to be the
same soul as before

9:42 PM
6/5/21

I walked through
that park last night.
Your perfume lingers
and the twilight glistens
upon the lower lake.
I stared at my reflection
and saw us staring back
at a heartbroken man
standing there alone.

Think about all the people
you wouldn’t have met if
you had never broken up-
Think of all the things you’ve
learned since then.
Think of all the travelling you
wouldn’t have gone on and the
photos you wouldn't have taken
and the laughs you wouldn't have had.  
Step outside yourself
and look at who you have become-
remind yourself that you made
the right choice.

I let myself go like water
flowing through the Earth.
I want to fill every corner
of this world.

I'm a sorry little soul
and you’re the only thing
that keeps me going.
I’m a fraying mass-
I'm falling apart at the seams
and you're the last stitch
keeping me together.
I've been left out in the rain,
the cold and the darkness,
and I'm waiting on your light
to bask in my direction.

I still hear
our favorite song
from time to time.
Each note still sets the key of you
and they're still ringing out
in my head.
There is no pause button
for this harmony
of you.

Some prisons use steel bars;
others merely use
flesh and bone.

Someday I will find
a way to cut every part
of you out of me

The sum of my heart
needs no addition to it-
the answer is you.

10:51 AM
17/5/20

We eat our shadows
so that nothing else can hurt
us ever again

12:17 PM
19/9/20

Has anyone tried
to untangle the mess your
heart has endured?

6:33 PM
7/11/20

I too am human
and I too feel emotions-
do you understand?

7:04 PM
30/10/19

I still daydream about you,
and I feel my soul jump for JOY
from country to country to chase you.
The smile you put on my face
as wide as the space between us
when we are not together.  
I can still feel this JOY
through that space-
it fills me up like a cup of matcha
on all those nippy nights without you.
What a miracle it was
to have crossed paths with you-
a bright star in what was
an empty void.

Dear diary;
last night I met the moon.
She forgot how to shine in
the darkest of nights.
We grew close-
a bittersweet bond
since one of us
was fading
away.

I wish there was
another ending to
our story because
this isn’t one I ever wanted to read.
We are both to blame for  
this final chapter and
I am sorry it had
to end this way.

Lust is a star
exploding in my chest.
See it burn in the night,
a beacon only for your
pretty little eyes.
Come and tame this star
that burns for the galaxy
within your heart.

You are
still alive.
Breathe,
heal,
and you will thrive.
Just know that
this too shall pass
as you overcome
this impasse.

You are
someone's cup of tea.
Don't stop looking for
that perfect brew.

We love in silence-
our love is evident in our actions.
We are the silent lovers-
we are one in the same.

Another day goes
by where I am reminded of
a life spent with you

6:24 PM
17/6/19

You deserve to win
the Nobel Peace Prize
for bringing peace to this heart.
It has known nothing
but war and disarray
for far too long.
Thank you.

So here I go as
I put my pen to paper
and see where I go

6:29 PM
9/7/19

Never abandon
yourself in order to keep
the affinity

11:24 PM
27/11/20

I am broken,
Je suis cassé,
Estoy roto,
Ich bin kaputt,
Sono a pezzi,
and there is not a word
nor a language that
can describe this
long, lost feeling.

Seldom in life do I come across
people I can be myself around.
Most of the time I feel like
I have to put on a show
to get through the day,
to get through life.
But sometimes you find
someone who can read your soul
as if it were their favorite poem.
It's with people like this you can be honest,
without the judgement and the fear
that they'll think less of you.
Oh, how rare they are-
so rare that you can
mistake it for love.