Whatever she creates
leaves me utterly in awe-
every thought of hers
leaving me entranced.
Maybe you have me under a spell,
or maybe this is one big dream.
All I know is that I need
more of you in my life.

It's cold out
tonight-
I hope you still have
a vacancy left
in your heart
for this weary
soul.

Feelings on repeat
why does everyone
always retreat
when all's said and done?
Every heartbeat
I have felt
so bittersweet
they make me melt
only to find
that I'm alone again.
We're so blind
to love and its friends.

Lust is a star
exploding in my chest.
See it burn in the night,
a beacon only for your
pretty little eyes.
Come and tame this star
that burns for the galaxy
within your heart.

We were two
frozen raindrops
in a greying cloud of love.
Our collision sparked
the perfect storm.

I wrote a story
somewhat less than swell but you
read it to the end.

21/5/19
7:09 PM

I too am human
and I too feel emotions-
do you understand?

7:04 PM
30/10/19

You take the dirt
of this life and
turn it into
sunflowers.

I wasn't prepared to be right-
but I knew you would find
someone else
and I knew you would be happier
with them-
even happier than you were with me.
I knew you wouldn't miss me anymore
and I knew you would move on.

I thought I was over you
until I saw your smile,
a sad smile-
oh, how I wish I could
fix that smile.
I try to justify the flutter
of my heart at the
mere sight of you.
That smile on your face-
oh, how I wish it was
still for me.

Perhaps I am not
alone as I thought I was-
perhaps they do care

4:15 PM
29/12/21

Social media has a
way of warping reality
for good or for worse.
Do not let it make you feel left behind-
the only person you should be
comparing yourself with
is yourself.

Dear diary;
There are some days-
days like today-
where I have no place for this world.
Other days,
I feel like perhaps this world
has no place
for me.

Depression doesn’t care for
the size of your bank account,
or tire from how many laps you can run.
It doesn’t care how bright the sun is
or who holds you in each night.
Depression sneers at all those photographs
lined upon your bedside table.
It won’t ask to use your emotions
to taint them and everything
that may hold some light to the dark.

We eat our shadows
so that nothing else can hurt
us ever again

12:17 PM
19/9/20

We love in silence-
our love is evident in our actions.
We are the silent lovers-
we are one in the same.

There was I time,
long ago,
when I could sleep
in peace-
in love.
I didn't need to dream
when you were in my arms-
my dreams could not compare to
the way I could close my eyes
and wake up to the scent of you.
But gone are those days,
and I am left with the memory.
Now, I find my thoughts
running in circles,
always back
to you.

Dear Diary;
Does not drinking
half a bottle of gin
make me more or
less fun at parties?
On second thoughts,
don't answer that.

Now,
each step
is the farthest
I’ve ever gone without you
and when I look back and
see the moon above the city where you sleep,
the more I realize that I left my heart
underneath your pillow.

I'm a sorry little soul
and you’re the only thing
that keeps me going.
I’m a fraying mass-
I'm falling apart at the seams
and you're the last stitch
keeping me together.
I've been left out in the rain,
the cold and the darkness,
and I'm waiting on your light
to bask in my direction.

Only in poetry
do we still exist.
Only within each verse
can I still adore you and
only within each word
can I still find bliss.

Never abandon
yourself in order to keep
the affinity

11:24 PM
27/11/20

So here I go as
I put my pen to paper
and see where I go

6:29 PM
9/7/19

Seldom in life do I come across
people I can be myself around.
Most of the time I feel like
I have to put on a show
to get through the day,
to get through life.
But sometimes you find
someone who can read your soul
as if it were their favorite poem.
It's with people like this you can be honest,
without the judgement and the fear
that they'll think less of you.
Oh, how rare they are-
so rare that you can
mistake it for love.

you move like rain,
you move like the storm.
Sometimes soft,
sometimes heavy.
You end my droughts,
leaving a rainbow,
to clear my doubts,
in sun or in snow.

It is true,
each day brings us
closer to death.
But you,
you make each day
worth living.

You are
someone's cup of tea.
Don't stop looking for
that perfect brew.

I have written you,
and I will write you again,
for the words can not stop flowing.
They have long since forgotten
the way back to you,
now they are just trying to
fill up the void that exists
in my heart.

my dream has been a
curse in one too many ways-
I found and I lost you.

You have moved on while
I am still paralyzed and
I can't move at all

11:34 PM
1/6/22

My heart is wearing out
after feeling everything
so passionately, so intensely
and now I think I need a new heart.

Time seems to only fly
when you
don't want it to,
right?
Sometimes our days drag on
and on like passing clouds-
other days, like shooting stars-
blink and you'll miss it.

One of the best things
you can do for yourself is
to become comfortable
with the loneliness.
Learn to accept it-
you might even learn
to embrace the solitude
and all the shadows
as your company.
To learn to be okay with being alone
in a world so loud, so full of
crowds and temptations is
not just self care,
it is a form of art.

I couldn't see it,
love had blurred my vision
but the warning signs were
as clear as day.
Then you let me go,
and suddenly,
I could see again but
it was too late.

Loneliness is a
prison and I am serving
a life time sentence

9:22 PM
27/10/20

Oh, how she
longs for sweet, little
death
while I long for
her sweet, little
heart

We all wander,
sometimes too much,
about those who truly care
for us.
We believe that no one
would care if we weren’t here-
but think about all the ones that
you have ever cared about and
how they have no idea about it.
I had a college teacher I
haven’t seen in too long
yet I still tell people how much
of an impact he had even though
he doesn't have a clue.
I have old coworkers,
people I met through travels,
and friends turned acquaintances
and haven’t seen in years
who I would be devastated about
if something happened to them.
We secretly care about so many people
but act like it’s impossible that
anyone cares about us.
Impossible - people do.
more than you think,
even if you can’t see it.

I myself in
the blissful radiance of
the sunflower field
contained within your soul.
It warms me like the eternal bond
between the sun
and the flower.

Another day goes
by where I am reminded of
a life spent with you

6:24 PM
17/6/19

what actually were we
other than two broken hearts,
and two lost souls?
A sense of passion, yet only for an instant,
leading to an everlasting
feeling of torment.
Our distant dreams of romance
never quite turned into a reality
without even a daydream of hope.

The stars will rise
into the night sky
while the waves will ride
the eternal sea.
No time,
no space,
no deep or no high
Could ever keep this
away from me.

The world watches.
They hold their breaths
as the ballots are cast-
a responsibility and gift
not to be taken
for granted.

I do envy the ocean.
They call its darkest parts
mysterious,
not ugly.

It's been a while
since the last time
I dreamed of
you and I.

This darkness
has not left me alone.
It consumes me
day after day-
night after night-
a void I cannot escape.
It's like I'm dreaming
but can't wake up.

Yes, life does go on-
it's not the same as before,
but it does go on.

12:08 PM
10/4/21

Trust is confessing
you are smothered in oil
to the person holding
the match.

I gave everything
to hold on to something I
never even had

9:31 PM
3/6/19

Dear Diary;
this year already
tastes like last year
and I can see the
rot ahead.

It is not death that
worries me, it's the moments
that come before it

5:05 PM
20/10/20