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Ivy C Drape Aug 2015
oh momma please don't do this to me
don't turn away and pretend you don't know me
don't say that you didn't know what was goin on in the back room
the door was open
you heard the carnal sins screaming out
you heard
daughter screaming for
father to stop beating
brother who in turn yelled at
father to stop touching
me
but you just made apple pie
you saw us as the flawless family unit
that was your lie
father
mother
sister
brother
but that didn't change what was going on in that back room while you were baking apple pie
that night we ate at a morgue
the corpses were eating apple pie
the perfect family unit
eating their pie
father
mother
sister
brother
Ivy C Drape Feb 2015
Quick breath
Sweaty palms
Blurred vision
Hastened touch
  The smell of your musky cologne
  The feel of your smooth finger
  The sight of your smooth silhouette
  The thudding of my heart
This is what happens at night
When the moon is full
This is what happens a night
When our lazy eyes wander far
This is the passion
The lust
The want
That takes over at night.
Ivy C Drape Feb 2015
Blue flames lick up the remains of us
We will never be the same
I will never trust anyone again
And you will never play with someones heart again
We treated the entity of us like a game
We juggled around with glass *****
We played with fire
We shattered the *****
We got burned
We are now nothing but ashes blowing away in the wind.
Ivy C Drape Aug 2015
let's ride our bikes into the sky
i'll lean in to kiss your nicotine lips
and you'll laugh
pull away
and whisper something about your dreams being in the clouds
so far out of reach
& my tastes are too dry for yours
    you like to peruse the deep wines of France
           meander on roads that exist only in your mind
                  look upon the words of Bukowski
                          and the art of Bansky
you've woven your own reality
you dream of holding a cloud
i say that i'll change
that i'll catch you a cloud
you laugh & say there's no hope for me
so i got you a cirrus
      as whimsical as you fancies
     as high as your spirits
as fleeting as your love
i hand it to your
        you raise your hand
                      now my cheek stings.
Ivy C Drape Feb 2015
Black and blue
Painted across my hips
Put there by force
Purple
Under my eyes
Put there by demons in the night
White and pink
Striped across my wrists
Put there by wars battled against myself.
Ivy C Drape Aug 2015
tiny
white
round
i hide them under my tongue
my mommas learned to check
so now i gag them up
tiny
white
round
they said it is s'posed to help
but all they do is pull me down
alter my little reality
tiny
white
round
bitter to the taste
but now i've given in
into their watery embrace
tiny.
white.
round.
no longer.
myself.
Ivy C Drape Aug 2015
Dancing slowly in an empty room
A razor as my partner
It bows
I curtsy
Dancing slowly in an empty room
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
My partner takes my wrists
I shut my eyes as red drips onto the dance floor
Dancing slowly in an empty room
My blood is pounding in my head
My partner spins me around
My thoughts are swirling around and they won't stop
Dancing slowly in an empty room
Red spreading pooling around our feet
My feet start to slip and
The floors are painted red
Laying dead in an empty room
The razor lays cradled in my hand
The white dress is now red
The dance is over.
Ivy C Drape Feb 2015
Thinking of you dear
Has kept me up for ages
Now my weary self can't
Be sure of whether or not
I'm dreaming
My way through existence
Or actually living it.
*
Now that you live in my mind
And you're not here
And I can't hold you
And I can't kiss you
I understand distance.
Ivy C Drape Aug 2015
There was once a boy next door
I don't see him anymore
He would come over and we'd play with my dolls
He would read me stories and call me his little princess
One day we even made cookies together
He had these marks on his arms
I asked him what they were
His face turned red and he turned around
He said that I would understand when I grew up
Now he never comes to play
I went to his door the other day
And asked his mother why he went away
She just collapsed to the floor and wept
She said that he had left
This world had been too cruel
Heaven had stolen him
And he liked it so much that now he played with angels
I'm all grown up now and I know better
I have the marks on my arms to
And I know that I'll probably see him soon.
Ivy C Drape Aug 2015
i'm not cutting deep
like your words did
i'm not gonna die
like you told me to
i'm not about to let you have me
like you're trying to force me to do
i'm not gonna leave
like my friends say i should
Ivy C Drape Jan 2015
The warm caress
The cold kiss
The hurried breaths
The bite of the steel
The red beads
The filling pain
The words unspoken
The way in or
The way out....
Why did I choose this?
Ivy C Drape Mar 2015
I didn't expect for it to end like this
It was almost too easy
I said that I needed time
So you left me
Just like that
A year long love was gone
Like a storm, it was there
Did it's damage
And left
-
And now I'm here
Standing in the pouring rain
Outside your aparment
Phone in hand
About to call
About to ask for another chance
-
As I raise the phone to my ear
The door opens
You walk out onto the wet pavement
Memories assault me & fly away with the wind
The day we met disappears
Our first lingering kiss gone
All of those nights we spent together fly away
The first time you uttered 'I love you' shatters
And I'm left, empty
A shell of who I used to be
Because you're there
Walking past me
With someone else
-
She's clinging to your arm
Like you're her life-line
Just like that
All we used to be is gone
Like dry lightning in a desert storm
You're gone into the storm.
Ivy C Drape Aug 2015
it hurt
looking at him hurt
it's like everyone around us
was living in fast forward
and we were living in this brilliant moment of clarity
where we were like
'this is it,
this is our life'
looking at everyone else around us rushing around like ants
but still it hurt
because life found our happiness and squeezed it dry
it found the beauty of us and murdered it
slowly
delectably
painstakingly
thoroughly
life murdered **us
Ivy C Drape Dec 2015
Bleeding
softly quietly
Living
silently
no
this Depression
this suffocating blanket
this starless night is just a verse
Life
is the chorus
yes
Depression is real
it hurts
it kills but Life is what wants to be sung out.

so sing
dance
live
like there is no tomorrow
because there may not be
but that tomorrow is worth fighting towards

life is the chorus
''living silently bleeding
bleeding silently living''
--anonymous--
Ivy C Drape Aug 2015
something pure something whole,
live for that,
something shining something white,
live for that too,
something worm and moth eaten,
that's my heart
something tied together with tape glue and string,
that's my soul
Ivy C Drape Feb 2015
Once upon a time
In a land far far away
There lived a word
That word doesn't exist now
It's a word that stopped wars
It's a word that made people care
It's a word that is now a lie

Once upon a time
In a land far far away
There lived a thing
This thing made people want to keep on living
This thing banished the act of giving up
This thing doesn't exist anymore

Once upon a time
In a land far far away
There live a man
This man lost the word
This man lost the thing
Now he lives without love and hope
He trudged through life with
No purpose no reason
He didn't see the purpose to keep going
He didn't see the light in life
So he hated and he gave up.
Ivy C Drape Feb 2015
Tight constricting
My ribs are a cage
My heart wants to leap out

I want you
Need you
In more ways than one

Fevered touch
Heated lips
Against my skin

There is one thing left to do
The tangled sheets lift
We are carried away

Our arms fling wide open
Embracing the stars
They shine down

The light comes to a ******
The moon sighs
We sleep
Ivy C Drape Feb 2015
I am mine
Before I'm anyone else's
That's why I'm surprised I fell for you
And gave you my heart
You are just a man right?
I still can't wrap my mind around how
You managed to bewitch me
Like this.
Ivy C Drape Feb 2015
We live
On a blue planet
That circles around
A flaming ball of gases
Next to a moon
That controls the oceans....
...If you tell me that you don't believe in miracles
I'll point out the fact
That we are made out of stardust
If you still don't believe then...
...I'll point to the God that made it all.
Ivy C Drape Jan 2015
How long until I get to see you next
How long until I get to hold you in my arms
Until I will no longer have to say good-bye
Just goodnight
How long until your return
You left leaving me with nothing but
Memories and the smell of your old perfume
I miss you
I know that's cliche but it's a hellavu truth.

My heart doesn't ache when I think of you
It doesn't even throb
I don't hurt I don't feel empty
I just feel
Lost and
Abandoned.

You were my compass
My northern star
My guide through the mountains
And storms of this world.

I miss you
I don't need you but life would
Be a whole lot better if you were here...
Written from the perspective of a guy :)
Ivy C Drape Aug 2015
And thus a
Poem
Was made
And thus your
Mother
Was created.
Ivy C Drape Feb 2015
I lay down
Ready to sleep
But then it happens...
The words start to creep into my mind
The thoughts start to swirl
A spark has been lit
I know that I can't stop the fire
So I just let it go.

I get my tools
Tea
Pillow
Fluffy blanket
Pen
Paper.

Let's get this started!
The words start to pour from my
Mind to my
Pen to my
Paper
I'm wrapped up in my blanket
Sipping my green tea
The flame just grows more intense
The moon is blazing in the sky
My green digital clock goes from 12:00 a.m.....to 12:25 a.m.....to 1:30
The tea is gone
The flame has died down
My eyes are leaden
My hand is numb and I lie down.

Then my alarm goes off
It's 5:30 a.m.
Time for school.
So yeah....it's midnight right now.
Ivy C Drape Feb 2015
Roses are red
Violets are blue
-
These beads of blood are red
These dead lips are blue
-
The big bad wolf
Little Red Riding Hood
-
He hurt me, stole the most important parts of me
I'm Little Red walking naive and innocent through the forest
-
Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow
Baa baa black sheep have you any wool
-
The white is stained by the
Black of my stained purity
-
These are the tales I'll tell my children
I'll say beware the wolf
Don't trust
Don't love
Guard yourself
Don't leave the trail
Stay in the light
Don't let anyone near
Guard your garden of roses and violets
Keep your sheep in the field
Violets
Roses
Sheep
Wolves
Ivy C Drape Aug 2015
I run
scared
                                               panicked
in a rush
                             hiding under quilts
breathing like a freight train
                                                              inoutinoutinotinoutinout
         i'm scared your gonna **** me
.
.
.
wait
.
.
.
you already have
Ivy C Drape Dec 2015
The hospital took his smell away                  
***** him of his humanity        
Stripped him of his identity
White sheets, too clean
If he could he'd take paint &    
Splash it on the walls, on the  
perfect cracks on the ceiling
he'd run down the silent hallways      
impersonating a banshee    
reveling in each breath that he took    
but the plague came & took his breath away
his face blends in with his starchy pillow
the hospital vines are curling up
his legs now & his face is                    
weathering like his Ophelietic bed    
wherein he drowns, never dreaming
They roll him away now                                    
Down the hall                                          
Towards the elevator light;      

He has lost this fight.
Ophelietic (adjective): sweet, innocent, or similar to drowning
Ivy C Drape Aug 2015
i love him
but i belong to another
what to do what to do what to do
i want him to love me
but he is in love with the pen
will he notice me will he notice me will he notice me
my lover tries to force words from my hand
but when i'm with the other all i want to do is write for him
is he my muse is he my muse is he my muse
it's my wedding day and i'm marrying the wrong man
the one i want is sitting in the front row
is he seeing me is he seeing me is he seeing me
the vows have been said and the rings exchanged
i am now bound to someone i don't love
what have i done what have i done what have i done
the music is playing and my husband is dancing with someone else
i wander around the outskirts of the merriment and then i see him
is he coming here is he coming here is he coming here
he takes my hand and brushes his butterfly lips against it
his mouth opens and he says
'will you dance will you dance will you dance?'
Ivy C Drape Sep 2015
MAD
slathering
slobbering
MAD
jowls hanging
saliva spray
MAD
growls become words
biting at my neck
MAD
MAD dog
MAD dog forcing me in a cage
wait
dad?
is that you?
Ivy C Drape Aug 2015
sleeves
summer long
winter long
because
scars
Ivy C Drape Feb 2015
Rising and falling
In and out
  Deep breaths
    I'm just sitting here watching you my love
     You look so peaceful
       Just laying there eyes closed
        I'm so happy to see you here
         All of our friends think we spent the night in
          Tangled sheets
            Covered in sweat
              But the truth was
                The night was full of
              Soft words, soft touch
             It was a soft safe night
            Neither of us lost anything
          So here we are
         You're laying here
        Peaceful and I lie here
       Unable to sleep because
      I don't want to lose a single moment of this
    Soft breathing
   Soft words
Soft touch
I love you.
Ivy C Drape Sep 2015
we have a
wander
& a
wonder
so why
can't we
have a
wunder
?
Ivy C Drape Jan 2015
What are you finding?
What do you see in me?
Why are you so in love with me?
Would you kiss these lips if you knew a razor had kissed my wrists?
Do you know what type of person you are fighting for?
All of these questions swirl around
Creating mini tornadoes in my mind
Wreaking havoc
Until
You take my arms
Put your lips against the scars
And tell me that I am beautiful
You tell me that you know about my love affair with depression
But you don't care you're willing to fight.

You know what you're fighting for
And you're willing to do everything in your power
To save me
Ivy C Drape Mar 2016
She drank champagne out of a coffee mug

She had day dreams at night, nightmares during the day

Her face was naked to the world every day, natural

Her heart was naked to the world too

Her eyes sang songs and her lips whispered stories

Her spirit wasn't contained by her body, it swirled around her infecting the people surrounding her

She was unaware of reality and reality was unaware of her

She danced through time and time danced through her

And as the years flew by she became lighter, hollow

When the world penetrated her reality

Her little reality became an unreality, a place to hide from everything around her

Colors diluted, sound harsher, touch rougher

Her reality a tortoise shell, a veil and she became lighter and the wind threatened to blow her away.

Scene changes, ocean enters, she enters

She's on a Dover cliff now and the wind is stronger

Hair free, veil being ripped away, youth gone

Halfway into womanhood but she's hardly here

She is in her own golden reality

And the wind blows

                                       her

                                                        a   ­         w    a         y.
posted on my new blog: http://thewindblewheraway.blog.com/2016/03/03/when-the-wind-blows/ ‎
Ivy C Drape Jan 2015
A single white rose
A single white rose adorns my grave
It tells the story of a perfect life
A life untainted
Unblemished
Pure.
I'm working on a short story and this is a poem that one of the character 'writes'.

— The End —