She drank champagne out of a coffee mug

She had day dreams at night, nightmares during the day

Her face was naked to the world every day, natural

Her heart was naked to the world too

Her eyes sang songs and her lips whispered stories

Her spirit wasn't contained by her body, it swirled around her infecting the people surrounding her

She was unaware of reality and reality was unaware of her

She danced through time and time danced through her

And as the years flew by she became lighter, hollow

When the world penetrated her reality

Her little reality became an unreality, a place to hide from everything around her

Colors diluted, sound harsher, touch rougher

Her reality a tortoise shell, a veil and she became lighter and the wind threatened to blow her away.

Scene changes, ocean enters, she enters

She's on a Dover cliff now and the wind is stronger

Hair free, veil being ripped away, youth gone

Halfway into womanhood but she's hardly here

She is in her own golden reality

And the wind blows

                                       her

                                                        a   ­         w    a         y.

tiny
white
round
i hide them under my tongue
my mommas learned to check
so now i gag them up
tiny
white
round
they said it is s'posed to help
but all they do is pull me down
alter my little reality
tiny
white
round
bitter to the taste
but now i've given in
into their watery embrace
tiny.
white.
round.
no longer.
myself.

And thus a
Poem
Was made
And thus your
Mother
Was created.

let's ride our bikes into the sky
i'll lean in to kiss your nicotine lips
and you'll laugh
pull away
and whisper something about your dreams being in the clouds
so far out of reach
& my tastes are too dry for yours
    you like to peruse the deep wines of France
           meander on roads that exist only in your mind
                  look upon the words of Bukowski
                          and the art of Bansky
you've woven your own reality
you dream of holding a cloud
i say that i'll change
that i'll catch you a cloud
you laugh & say there's no hope for me
so i got you a cirrus
      as whimsical as you fancies
     as high as your spirits
as fleeting as your love
i hand it to your
        you raise your hand
                      now my cheek stings.

i'm not cutting deep
like your words did
i'm not gonna die
like you told me to
i'm not about to let you have me
like you're trying to force me to do
i'm not gonna leave
like my friends say i should

sleeves
summer long
winter long
because
scars

i love him
but i belong to another
what to do what to do what to do
i want him to love me
but he is in love with the pen
will he notice me will he notice me will he notice me
my lover tries to force words from my hand
but when i'm with the other all i want to do is write for him
is he my muse is he my muse is he my muse
it's my wedding day and i'm marrying the wrong man
the one i want is sitting in the front row
is he seeing me is he seeing me is he seeing me
the vows have been said and the rings exchanged
i am now bound to someone i don't love
what have i done what have i done what have i done
the music is playing and my husband is dancing with someone else
i wander around the outskirts of the merriment and then i see him
is he coming here is he coming here is he coming here
he takes my hand and brushes his butterfly lips against it
his mouth opens and he says
'will you dance will you dance will you dance?'

Dancing slowly in an empty room
A razor as my partner
It bows
I curtsy
Dancing slowly in an empty room
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
My partner takes my wrists
I shut my eyes as red drips onto the dance floor
Dancing slowly in an empty room
My blood is pounding in my head
My partner spins me around
My thoughts are swirling around and they won't stop
Dancing slowly in an empty room
Red spreading pooling around our feet
My feet start to slip and
The floors are painted red
Laying dead in an empty room
The razor lays cradled in my hand
The white dress is now red
The dance is over.

something pure something whole,
live for that,
something shining something white,
live for that too,
something worm and moth eaten,
that's my heart
something tied together with tape glue and string,
that's my soul

I didn't expect for it to end like this
It was almost too easy
I said that I needed time
So you left me
Just like that
A year long love was gone
Like a storm, it was there
Did it's damage
And left
-
And now I'm here
Standing in the pouring rain
Outside your aparment
Phone in hand
About to call
About to ask for another chance
-
As I raise the phone to my ear
The door opens
You walk out onto the wet pavement
Memories assault me & fly away with the wind
The day we met disappears
Our first lingering kiss gone
All of those nights we spent together fly away
The first time you uttered 'I love you' shatters
And I'm left, empty
A shell of who I used to be
Because you're there
Walking past me
With someone else
-
She's clinging to your arm
Like you're her life-line
Just like that
All we used to be is gone
Like dry lightning in a desert storm
You're gone into the storm.

I am mine
Before I'm anyone else's
That's why I'm surprised I fell for you
And gave you my heart
You are just a man right?
I still can't wrap my mind around how
You managed to bewitch me
Like this.

We live
On a blue planet
That circles around
A flaming ball of gases
Next to a moon
That controls the oceans....
...If you tell me that you don't believe in miracles
I'll point out the fact
That we are made out of stardust
If you still don't believe then...
...I'll point to the God that made it all.

Rising and falling
In and out
  Deep breaths
    I'm just sitting here watching you my love
     You look so peaceful
       Just laying there eyes closed
        I'm so happy to see you here
         All of our friends think we spent the night in
          Tangled sheets
            Covered in sweat
              But the truth was
                The night was full of
              Soft words, soft touch
             It was a soft safe night
            Neither of us lost anything
          So here we are
         You're laying here
        Peaceful and I lie here
       Unable to sleep because
      I don't want to lose a single moment of this
    Soft breathing
   Soft words
Soft touch
I love you.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
-
These beads of blood are red
These dead lips are blue
-
The big bad wolf
Little Red Riding Hood
-
He hurt me, stole the most important parts of me
I'm Little Red walking naive and innocent through the forest
-
Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow
Baa baa black sheep have you any wool
-
The white is stained by the
Black of my stained purity
-
These are the tales I'll tell my children
I'll say beware the wolf
Don't trust
Don't love
Guard yourself
Don't leave the trail
Stay in the light
Don't let anyone near
Guard your garden of roses and violets
Keep your sheep in the field
Violets
Roses
Sheep
Wolves

Once upon a time
In a land far far away
There lived a word
That word doesn't exist now
It's a word that stopped wars
It's a word that made people care
It's a word that is now a lie

Once upon a time
In a land far far away
There lived a thing
This thing made people want to keep on living
This thing banished the act of giving up
This thing doesn't exist anymore

Once upon a time
In a land far far away
There live a man
This man lost the word
This man lost the thing
Now he lives without love and hope
He trudged through life with
No purpose no reason
He didn't see the purpose to keep going
He didn't see the light in life
So he hated and he gave up.

How long until I get to see you next
How long until I get to hold you in my arms
Until I will no longer have to say good-bye
Just goodnight
How long until your return
You left leaving me with nothing but
Memories and the smell of your old perfume
I miss you
I know that's cliche but it's a hellavu truth.

My heart doesn't ache when I think of you
It doesn't even throb
I don't hurt I don't feel empty
I just feel
Lost and
Abandoned.

You were my compass
My northern star
My guide through the mountains
And storms of this world.

I miss you
I don't need you but life would
Be a whole lot better if you were here...