Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Sep 18 · 169
Edging
Chloe Sep 18
We can cut the burnt edges
and say it was always perfect
We can say this is the best it gets
while one of us is edging

We can go forth and reach the end
knowing we can never come back again
We can begin the night
as the night is ending

We can burst open with emptiness
as though we are full
We can burn through our fuel
until we are empty

We can cut the burnt edges
until it is perfect
It can only get better
when you’re standing on the edge
Sep 15 · 501
bad sex
Chloe Sep 15
I could feel your skin moving
while you were thrusting
Couldn’t see your eyes
They were open
Piercing holes through the walls
of my memory
I knew it was wrong,
the wrong place to be

We were both angry and lonely
and you’d been inside before,
me unwilling
And you got away.
Tragically bonded,
all I wanted from you
was familiar bad ***

It went by so fast
I thought I was dying
But you never crashed
until in the kitchen, crying
I could feel the glass break
like I was the aluminum
at the bottom of the sink
swallowing the whisky

And it burned the whole way down
as you jogged my memory
of your past use of force
I got away this time
lost in the night
as you were screaming
and begging for
familiar bad ***
Oct 2023 · 2.2k
“wide open”
Chloe Oct 2023
Eat your shame
It doesn’t go away
Regurgitate
like you’re overweight
You need more meat
on your body to hate

She promised to **** him off
in the parking lot
for her drink of choice
She was far too young
for either one
but had nothing left to lose

Swallow your pride
It doesn’t go down easy
Don’t let him see you
cringe in disgust
You need more secrets
to hate yourself for

Cut your skin
wide open
Underneath even you know
you’re worth more
It can only get better
and I don’t take it for granted

Uncomfortable in her skin
unless it was naked
No confidence in
a word she said
unless they were slurred
So she ate her shame
every ******* day
She swallowed her pride
and kept her promises
It all cut her skin wide open
Reinvented this poem a bit so thought I’d repost
Sep 2023 · 1.2k
“no change”
Chloe Sep 2023
I emptied my pockets for you
You didn’t have any change
I read the sign that says
“no larger bills”
My bad, but you still took
all my money away
You took all my money away
Sep 2023 · 117
trial & error
Chloe Sep 2023
TW*


In response to events surrounding a recent high profile trial.


You give your seal of approval
He’s such a good guy
He was a good friend to me

You bring up the wife and child
He keeps them safe
from all the dangerous men

You’re the face of a cause
but you mustn’t believe it at all,
not a word you say

Protect the children at all costs
Keep the daughters safe
from prying eyes and hands

Keep the prepubescent pure,
and **** the women-
she is yours, she can’t say no

Your words like a knife
etch your perspective and ill motive
into perpetuity

At least one in three
Rarely any recourse
No one writing her letter to set her free

Tally the victims,
tell the world they exist,
yet, no one cares to know
how many men are rapists

No, don’t be sorry we found out
It’s best we all know
what you are
Sep 2023 · 713
stream of consciousness
Chloe Sep 2023
I said I didn’t
but I did
I wasn’t supposed to
give a ****
Never seem to
get ahead
imagining scenarios
in my head
They’re always too good
to be true
I die alone if
I die with you
I die alone if
I die with you

End it when I can’t
seem to think
of anything that
means anything
Add a break then
start again
Treat it all as one
in the same
Treat it all as one
in the same

Repeat it to make
it seem important
It only takes more
energy
The reward is
fleeting
But you’re still
here reading
But you’re still
here reading

And that’s comforting

The end
Jul 2023 · 640
“at the seams”
Chloe Jul 2023
I want to be still
as a pin cushion
Poked, prodded, and robbed
Twenty-five fittings today
Where do you find the time?
Jul 2023 · 1.5k
“outline”
Chloe Jul 2023
My eyes don’t soften
anymore
when I see yours
return my glance
Or when I find myself
staring at your outline
in the dark, cold night

The pit of my stomach,
hollowed out
to fit the misery
of being overjoyed
And when I find myself
thinking for too long
it becomes hard to avoid

Because your eyes never softened
for mine-
first, second, third,
fourth chance
You could never find yourself-
you’re just an outline
drowning me in your dark, cold night.
Jul 2023 · 649
“rhythm”
Chloe Jul 2023
Broken
Heart wide open
Dancing with you
on the floor

We’ve found our rhythm
Jul 2023 · 486
“my answer”
Chloe Jul 2023
Don’t ask me
if I ever loved you at all
if you don’t want to hear
the answer is yes

I moved mountains and clouds
You watered the vine
I took all your hope
and I made it mine

I could see it between the lines
You never loved me at all
I always said yes
but it took its toll

I taught you love
Oh, but you never learn
You showed me how cruel
humanity can be

Don’t ask me again
My answer has changed
Our loving each other
was us hating ourselves.
Jul 2023 · 4.2k
“meat”
Chloe Jul 2023
I know you’ve just gone
but I miss you already
Oh, why not just stay
until I’m all done?

Not meant to be a lover,
but call me your concubine
to meet your needs
as well as mine

Oh, come into me
in the flesh, in the flesh
I want to feel meat
in the flesh, in the flesh

I know I’ve been here before
but I forget already
why I’ve now come
to feel this again

I never wanted a friend
I waddle around
asking, “are you my lover?”
Two birds of a feather fly on

Oh, come into me
in the flesh, in the flesh
I want to feel meat
in the flesh, in the flesh

Oh, why are you here?
In my flesh, in my flesh
I want to feel it
I want to feel

Oh, come into me
in the flesh, in the flesh
I want to feel it
I want to heal

I know you’ve just gone
but I miss you already
Why not just stay?
Jul 2023 · 940
ten too many men
Chloe Jul 2023
She was not the first
nor the last
daughter of ten too many men
Trapping her worth
in passing glances
that last too long
but not long enough
to be worth it
Jul 2023 · 775
come together
Chloe Jul 2023
I love your dry skin
Every flake of it
With you I feel
more real than I’ve ever been

Love me loud
Make a show of it
I need an out
from the terror in my head

I love your eyes
and the words you say
to show you see
and hang onto all of me

Love me more
than you ever did before
I’ll pour myself onto you
as you fill me up

I love your dry skin
and how it peels away
I know you feel my love
There is nothing I wouldn’t do

Love me here
in the quiet of the night
Feel the broken
and help me make it right

Stay your love with me
and never leave me out
Heave away
the shadow of a doubt

I will love you, too,
out in the open light
until the sun falls down
and alone we come together
come is a three letter word
Jul 2023 · 901
downside
Chloe Jul 2023
I see you
in the steam
I know
you’re not waiting
for me
And it breaks
my heart
And I don’t
understand

I feel you
getting close
I wish I could
trustingly know
what you see
when you stare
head on
Are you thinking
of me?
Or would it break
my heart?
I just don’t
understand

I hear you-
all the lies
you’ve said
to me
hang on
to your every
word
until it breaks
my heart
Do you
understand?
the downside of having *** is the person having *** with you can see you having ***
Mar 2023 · 1.5k
Little duck
Chloe Mar 2023
I miss your arms
I could not feel them
They were never for me
Mine stretch out longer
It only made me stronger
Now I understand why you believe-
it’s easier

In my mind
My head is resting
on your legs
But I don’t know you that way-
the way I would like to
when I need comfort to fall asleep
and when I don’t know what to believe
to make it easier
Mar 2023 · 1.3k
like a river
Chloe Mar 2023
It flows when I think of the one I love
It flows when I hold him close to my heart
It is the glue that will never let us part
It flows when I am close with the one I love

I hold him sleepily and warm
He holds me just as close and firm
There is a rhythm, an unspoken language, we share
I feel him close even when I am not there

It flows because I made him so carefully
It flows because I need him as much as he needs me
I know we will never, ever part
It flows from the river of my heart
Jan 2023 · 788
little light
Chloe Jan 2023
When, oh when
did I stop smelling your head?
3 months in
and my life is already flashing
in your eyes
Oh, my little kin
It will never be the same
as it is right now,
as it is right now

Why ask why
when I know you are the answer?
You give me reason,
so much joy
and light
Oh, sweet child
You move me with every smile,
with every smile

Your daddy’s son
You are the reason
I fell in love
Oh, you gentle soul
Do you even know
how you’ve rocked my world?
With the sweetest sound
I’ve ever heard,
I’ve ever heard

My little me,
may you always know
the joy you bring
Oh, how I dreamed of you,
I dreamed of you

Goodnight
to you,
my little light
Tomorrow you will light the world
You will light the world.
For Leo
Oct 2022 · 1.2k
new light
Chloe Oct 2022
You gave life to me
You brought me home
So small and fragile,
you make me strong

I give you all my sleep
and all my waking hours
so you know I am yours
as much as you are ours

You show me the world
in a never before seen light
So pure and young,
only knowing right

I give you my body-
now mind and spirit, too,
and hope you find it as healing
as I find you

You are made of love,
my sweet, gentle friend
Born to me an angel,
you give me strength

I give you all my comfort
I give you all I have left
because all I have
and all I am
is yours
For Leo
Jul 2022 · 649
Meet thine dagger
Chloe Jul 2022
Now you got what you wanted
My life is a waste
You got what you ******* wanted
I threw it away
You have what I gave you
I gave you my faith
Now where is my end of the deal?
Take me away

You have someone special
What did you do?
You took something from me
What have I done to you?
You just couldn’t leave me alone
I was okay!
I was fine until you took him away

You are pathetic
I hate being alive
What is so perfect
and holy about you, Christ?
Why did you save me?
I would rather die in sin
than in your vanity, you forsaking
*******

Why did you take him?
Now he can’t breathe
Why would you take him
instead of me?
I would give up my soul,
I would give up with haste
I would give you my flesh
if you just let him stay

The smell, relentless,
it swallows the air
The smell of death is disgusting
and remains in my eyes, I swear
Why would you do this?
Death, like life, is unfair
I cannot understand,
to death, I declare.
2012
Feb 2022 · 166
The line
Chloe Feb 2022
Sometimes I feel like a body-
sentience too hard to comprehend
Sometimes I feel like an animal-
and, after all, I am

Toes curling in the shower
It is amazing what we do for pleasure
The line is fine as death is final
All I want is to try again

Sometimes I feel uncomfortably aware-
subjected to overanalyze everything
Sometimes I feel helpless and infantile-
all I ever do is cry

Legs shaking in the shower
It is amazing how it kills the hour
The line is permanent as misery is terminal
Nothing ever pacifies

All I need is a second chance
Jan 2022 · 151
Untitled
Chloe Jan 2022
It devours my soul
I leave it hungry
Jan 2022 · 1.2k
I’m so wet
Chloe Jan 2022
It makes me sweaty
I’m so wet
I want to remember
But I forget

It makes me comfortable
Fills me with blissful ignorance
I don’t want to be
But I am and that’s okay

Is it raining?
Or did I do too much?
I want to remember
how to touch

It makes me remember
But I don’t want to this way
Nothing will ever
make it okay

It is hard to wake up
Because I don’t want to
if I cannot feel you
anymore
Jan 2022 · 221
Chasing betrayal
Chloe Jan 2022
How could you have taken me there?
I was just a little girl
in every possible way

You knew you loved me
but I didn’t know
Would it have mattered either way?

I spent my life chasing betrayal
because it is all I’ve ever known
of you

You can live with it in your own way
but I cannot
It eats away
Jan 2022 · 588
taking the pill
Chloe Jan 2022
Are you taking the pill?
Is that your only question?
Did you even ask?
I don’t remember

Are my requests
only a suggestion?
Why is it that I never demand?
I don’t remember the last time

Is it because I resisted
that you restrained me?
Did you even need to?
I was empty
And I don’t remember
having ever felt love

Is it because it was easy?
Is it because of something I said
the night we met?
You have tainted everything
I cannot stop revisiting
and now I don’t remember
how to feel love
Jan 2022 · 897
Everything sucks
Chloe Jan 2022
You said, “how do you do that… with the words?”
I said, “well, I know the English language…”
You said, “but the way you use it, I mean.”
I said, “Everything is poetry.”

So, you sat down with your mom
and you had a tough conversation
At the end, she asked you-
“how did you say all that to me?”
to which you answered-
“well, I know the English language.”
She said, “but the way you said it.”
and you replied, “Everything is poetry.”

Your mom went to bed early that night
and thought deeply about the end of that exchange
She pulled paper out of her printer the next morning
and she started writing
Nothing in particular- a stream of consciousness
A friend at work found this paper
and she read it out of concern for your mom-
she had been acting off
She went to your mom and she said,
“I love what you have written here.”
to which your mom replied-
“well, I know the English language.”
The friend continued,
“Yes, but what you say with it…”
Your mother’s response was, of course,
“Everything is poetry.”

The friend from work mentioned that conversation to her struggling artist boyfriend
He scoffed, feeling belittled in his craft, yet newly inspired.
There was an open mic that night
and he unveiled a new poem he’d been working on all week
At the end, an audience member called out-
“That ******!”
to which he responded-
“Everything *****.”
Poem
Short story
Jan 2022 · 443
Stumbling
Chloe Jan 2022
I try to push it inside of me
but it is too ******
Why was I made this way?
Is it because Eve was hungry?
Starving for love

I try to take it out
but my fingers are stumbling
Never been good
in times of gushing
I hear your change of tone
Is it because you don’t want me?
Is it because of me?
I am starving for love

It is much lighter now
but that is always deceiving
I love the way you love me
but hate how you leave me
starving for love
Jan 2022 · 905
therapy
Chloe Jan 2022
It is hard to believe you’re sad
when you are sad all the time
I think your clock is broken
Let’s fix it
Keep talking to me
I need you
Jan 2022 · 594
creation
Chloe Jan 2022
It is always a different number-
one that I don’t have
I dream of you often
as I would dream of the dead

It is so confusing
how I want to tell you
but I don’t want you to know

I want to leave you
Move on with my life
We both know I’ve created a better one
Jan 2022 · 845
grow up
Chloe Jan 2022
I feel so miserable
Nothing is going to change
I feel so caught up in
all my rage
… grow up

I feel like I deserve
to die and if not
I deserve to hurt
I feel so overwhelmed
I need something
to cover my head
…. grow up

I feel empty inside
and yet so full
I could explode
What I feel right now
is all I will ever know
… grow up
Grow up
Grow up
Grow up
GROW UP
GROW UP
GROW UP
GROW UP
My New Years resolution
Dec 2021 · 717
Expansion
Chloe Dec 2021
It is strange to think
that I will never again
smoke a cigarette
for as long as you
and I live

Does the universe
expand?
Or do we just
push it to its
limitlessness?

Already I feel
so unworthy of you
You are an angel
but I am no god

Maybe I will be better-
benevolent and unenvious
I would be anything
for you

It’s strange to think
that I could produce good
into a world
that has brought me to my knees
I now cradle you in my heart
and fall asleep
Dec 2021 · 718
love brings life
Chloe Dec 2021
What is fertility
but a little you
and a little me…

Like a car that’s been driven for too long
Overheating

Watching it stick before your eyes
Slip and die

No hope of my own
But love is infectious
I love you
And love brings life into this world
Dec 2021 · 764
17 Again
Chloe Dec 2021
I let you escape
out of my grasp
to perpetuate
your task

I let you escape
No fluid left
Too much time
has passed

I let you escape
I couldn’t believe
Oh, you were so sick
and pretty

I let you escape
out of my grasp
I didn’t know I deserved
to say no
Chloe Dec 2021
I don’t want to deal with heartache anymore;
don’t want to feel you in my pores
I want out of here
I know you are the only way
So, can you stay, just for tonight?
Can we pray for some light?
And if we stay here all our lives,
can we pray that it is right?
I just want to feel good
and to make it feel good for you
If you think I should,
I will kneel before you
ON THE CROSS
Oh, my hands are bleeding
You never said! You never bled!
I don’t see why I am being punished anymore
I have praised all my demons with justification
Though, I still need a way to find
instant gratification
So, can you forget just for tonight?
Can we pray since we can’t fight?
And if I say that I will be all right,
can we pray that the end is in sight?
I just want to feel you
and in one touch find the truth
If I pull through
I will kneel before you
IN THESE CHAINS
Oh, the dirt, it infects my blood
You never rested! I’ve been molested! Oh, my friend!
If you were resurrected
I may slay you again
This ******* holy water tortures me
Hey, I found a bible; it was burning
You left me soulless and yearning to believe
****, at this point, I would believe anything
So, can I pray if just out of fear?
Can anyone say if the end is near?
Can I battle off all my fears?
Will this be my last year?
And will I ever be born again?
Can my body ever be cleansed?
Lead me to a mirror to make amends
SHATTERED GLASS pierces all my friends
I was never told this would be easy
I was never told I had a ******* choice
No one ever told me it was okay to speak
I was never told to have a voice
So, I don’t
Also, *******.
2014 I think
Dec 2021 · 703
call of death
Chloe Dec 2021
Is it the smoke
or is it my breath?
Either one-
the call of death

I think of my mind
as a gold mine
But how do I tell
such an awful story?
Dec 2021 · 772
Not well
Chloe Dec 2021
Time stands still
and nothing changes
I don’t know how to survive

Time stands still
and nothing changes
I take my life

If only there was
something perfect
I could exist
And if you were real
and I didn’t miss you
it would be different

In a dream
we fixed this
distance between us
I wake up
and everything changes
for the worst

He liked to watch
a woman struggle
I can’t change that
I’m no one’s savior
You’re not helpless
I am only here
to lift you up
so you can leave

Do you feel empowered yet?

And I would much rather
tear you down
so you will stay
But that’s not my agency
I am sorry for everything
I’m still not well
Where did you go?
Dec 2021 · 863
what it means
Chloe Dec 2021
It’s the buzz to the brain
and the lack of restraint
and all this pain
I carry with me

It’s the way it catches fire
and makes me a liar
so I have reason
to hate myself

It’s the way people
say my name
without any understanding
of what it means

It’s the reflex,
I guess,
that causes all this
pain seeking
muscle memory
Dec 2021 · 565
too bright
Chloe Dec 2021
Darkness
shines light
Don’t make it
too bright
No one needs
to see it

The quiet
is loud
Can’t make it
out
No one ever
listens

Darkness
abounds
Don’t make
a sound
It is too bright
I see too much
Dec 2021 · 824
a dream about a hospital
Chloe Dec 2021
Wake up in an unfamiliar cold bed
Warm blanket, back exposed
Not sure how you got there-
but you did it to yourself

Fighting tubes- back to sleep
You only wanted to apologize
They will never understand
And again- you never want to wake up

Rushed back into full consciousness
No compress for your bruised arms
Honesty becomes your worst enemy
when all you want is to go home

Neighboring, neglected withdrawal cries
A midnight delusional in your room
Halls filled with the souls of strangers
You never asked to be woken up

Rough socks, ammonia scented floor
Bolted windows- no escape
All you want is to go home-
but you did it to yourself
Dec 2021 · 1.5k
make an angel
Chloe Dec 2021
She said “you’re smoking”
I said “you are, too”
She asked me to put it out-
something I could never do

She said “it is snowing”
I said “it is glowing- I am afraid”
She told me to make an angel
before it’s too late
Dec 2021 · 622
it makes me tired
Chloe Dec 2021
Self soothing
turned into
holding my own
hand
It is comforting.

Staying awake
to watch you sleep
It makes me tired
I always want to
attribute my pain
to something
but everything
is fine

I hold my own hand
It comforts me
when everything
goes wrong

Falling asleep
before you
I miss everything
and it is all my fault

Everything is fine
Don’t comfort me
I am in so much pain
There is no relief

Everything is wrong
How do you complain?
I am only reaching out
for your hand
Dec 2021 · 687
sunlight in hell
Chloe Dec 2021
Why must you tear it
from my hands-
they have borne
so much for you

Do we all go to the same place?

Foiling all our plans-
does it mean
that much to you?

Do we all go to the same place?

There is no sunlight
in hell-
that much I know
is true

And if we all go to the same place
I will not go with you
Dec 2021 · 796
Tool
Chloe Dec 2021
You always watched
us getting off
in the mirror
as if the reflection
did it better than me

Bringing the phrase
“foot in mouth”
a new meaning-
as translucent as I am-
deep down I wished
you could see

A ***** West Virginia girl-
maybe you saw more
than I care to admit
You knew how to
give it to me
like the soulmate
you could never be
Dec 2021 · 661
the cure
Chloe Dec 2021
Searching for something
that stars with “S”
and ends in “tonin”
to heal my thoughts.

Just hand me a cigarette
I already have cancer
of the soul

Searching for something
that starts with “Oxy”
and ends in “tocin”
I drain the ocean
from me
as it drains from you

Just prescribe me
the ******* Prozac
I’ll never feel pleasure
ever again, anyways

Is there a cure for dry mouth?
Dec 2021 · 233
mean mommy liked him
Chloe Dec 2021
It is funny how things,
such as this,
are brought up
at the worst
possible moment.
I find it funny
yet it is nothing
to laugh about.

The way I hurt myself
more
when I am already hurting.
The way I always feel like
I need to settle the score.

I have loved everyone
who has ever hurt me.
You know how they say
it is always someone
you know.

Perhaps I never felt
anything about it
because I brought it on
myself.
I have self-inflicted wounds
from every man
I’ve slept beside.

Not you, my purest
love;
you are who I dreamed
about
as I was drowning in the mud
of my own mistakes.

Maybe I never talked about it
because mean mommy
liked him
and it would’ve been
an embarrassment
for everyone to see it
just the same as me.

And maybe I never
thought about it
out of fear
that it might
actually hurt me-
but that was always the point.

There was never a reason.
Dec 2021 · 914
Burning leaf
Chloe Dec 2021
Will I be the last leaf
hanging on to fall?
You are the fire
that keeps me burning
through winter.

Will I be the last leaf
hanging on to fall?
You are the fire
that keeps me burning
through winter
Like burning ash.

Will I be the last leaf
hanging on to fall?
You are the fire
that keeps me burning
through winter
Like burning ash
It is too much.

Will I be the last leaf
hanging on to fall?
You are the fire
that keeps me burning
through winter
Like burning ash
It is too much.
And I am sorry.

Will I be the last leaf?
You are the fire
burning ash
and it is too much
and I am sorry.

Will I be the last leaf
hanging on to fall?
Nov 2020 · 324
A place in time
Chloe Nov 2020
The here and now
A place in time
The world feels so soft
and open

Fulfilling my wish
A three part kiss
where time stands still
and I seize the moment

On the brink of lust
With each healing touch
And suddenly the world
appears less broken

The here and now
A place in time
Our soft worlds collided
and wide open
13 October 2020
Nov 2020 · 180
On the outside
Chloe Nov 2020
I have an awful habit
of always going
where I am needed
and never having
my needs met
until someone
realizes it
and relieves it
A gust of wind
pierces through
my soul
Buttons torn off
and floating
Blouse torn
down the middle
as I walk
into mourning
I own a body
I don’t believe in
If only it could
match my soul’s
experience
I try to age it
by smoking heavily
and then burning
all the evidence
Such lies
always lead to
happiness
and never
severance
I wear my heart
on the outside
like an infant
held in reverence  
simply for surviving
02 June 2020
Apr 2020 · 170
Not heroin
Chloe Apr 2020
I do it because
it feels good
but I don’t
want to
I use words
to get away
with the ******
of myself
Sometimes
suicide is
the only
answer
In my mind
it will never
end because
it never began
I can’t lie
because
I believe all the
******* I say
If only you
were lucky enough-
I would really
go away
We can hate
anyone who
treats us poorly
but not ourselves
We can ****
ourselves slowly
with alcohol
but not ******
I watch a fight
on a screen
and there’s people
in the audience
The closest man
to the fight
only stops them
sometimes
How does
someone win
with blood
on their hands?
Why even
teach our
children
not to fight?
Why even teach our children not to fight?
05 April 2020
Mar 2020 · 126
Like butterflies
Chloe Mar 2020
Fear.
Immobilized.
You cannot hear
her crying eyes.
Run.
She flies away
like butterflies,
only lives
for a little time,
no one pays
her any mind.
Pain.
Shivering.
No longer in the dark,
yet she cannot see,
cannot feel
anything.
Escape.
She hides away
like when bears hibernate,
cannot let you in
until it’s too late
to be forgiven.
Assimilating.
Incrimination.
You cannot see
the invalidation in her eyes.
Fight.
She runs from you,
like a deer in the headlights,
soon dies
because you could not see her in time,
did not pay her
any mind.
Growth.
Love.
You cannot leave
her alone.
15 March 2020
Next page