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I'll always give my all for you.
I'll always protect you.

A wavering candle trying to stay lit.
Darkness trying to swallow me whole.
To set my smokey haze upon the room.

Even in the darkness I'd see you.
Even in the quiet I'll hear you.
Even in my deepest fears, I'll hold you.

I know not how to be a stone wall.
To keep all monsters out.
Aren't guardians supposed to?
To know the fear that those before must have faced,
Is heart sickening.
The fortress we thought we were sheltered in,
Was just a picket fence.
And now I stand.
Wood shaking in the wind.
Guarding.
I cry, I scream, I bellow into the storm.
You cannot have my little girl.

I will not let you.




Anxiety is mourning every possibilty.
I wear all black.
I walk in the sun, and see nothing but shade.
1 in, 1 out
Julie Feb 20
Your belly
Next to mine
Smooth and soft
It subtly moves
As I gently touch it
Caress it
With tender admiration
Innocent and sweet
I listen to them
Rejoice at the sight
Of it ever so slightly
flowing over the seam

My belly
Next to yours
I cringe, look away
Try to hide it
As it’s flawed
It’s Not flat,
Not nonexistent
I’m afraid
Of what they’ll say
Should they catch
A glimpse
Of its imperfections

Yet without mine
There’d be no yours
It’s my womb
That carried you
It gave you shelter
And protection
A space to ripen and prepare
It’s my belly
That gave life to you
And still I reprimand it
Demand that it be
What is expected
Misty Eyed Aug 2020
I have lost myself,
Have you seen my soul
Anywhere?

Am I in the darkness of night,
With the summer heat?
Am I in the the threads of fabric that
Get tossed in the wash?
Am I in the stretch marks on my skin
Evidence of what my body can do?
Am I in my own reflection,
Deep in the void in my eyes?

Will I feel warmth in my heart again?
Will I feel the flame of passion
Rise up in me again?

Will I ever be whole again?


m.e.
Molly Lynch Feb 2020
A lonely island, just him and me
His wails continue, just let me be.
I'm so tired, why doesn’t he care?
He is selfish, dependent, stripping me bare

Where is the bundle of joy I was promised?
My sanity and happiness constantly compromised
I sit and cry holding you tight
You grip my finger with all your might
I love you and hate you, so ashamed to say
The time ticks by slowly, day after day

This little blue pill, promises the world
To make everything better, to stop the unfurl
They call it post partum and promise it wont last
But it's been 16 weeks, I just want my mind back
And slowly but surely, things look brighter
He is waiting for me, because he is a fighter.
My bundle of joy, so loving and forgiving
Loves me unconditionally, relying on me to continue living

I'm sorry Theodore, but mommy is better
I've fought tooth and nail for you,
And so I give you this letter.
A promise that I will always be here, no matter the cost
I love you more than air, even when I'm lost.
I'll fight this disease to be the mom you deserve
Because you are the light of my life, you're love I preserve

So rest easy and stop growing little one
For mommy loves you, because you are my sun
I love you to the moon, and more than every star in the sky
You are my one and only, you are my special little guy.
Alex Dec 2019
Why is death so evil when
you
try
to
****
yourself?
people turn the other way pretend you didn’t speak those four words
Yet, when others die from other causes
they
cannot
talk enough of it?
Rose Amberlyn Sep 2019
The girl I once was,
Is gone.
The body I once had,
No more.
The understanding I once had,
Has grown.
The heart I once had,
Beats louder.
The skin I once had,
Is softer.

I am brand new,
In this old body.
When a baby is born,
So is a mother.
Batya May 2019
though you came out of me
you really came into me
and filled me up
with your innocent love
never did my emptiness

feel so full.
robin Apr 2019
empty
like a cloud
tears raining down on the people around me
i am numb
like frost bitten hands
piled under snow
alone like bitter midnight winds
with their chilly embrace
hugging you deeply.
i sleep in a pile of leaves. my bones leave their imprint
but no one can tell i was ever there
my heart is the crinkled mess of leaves at the bottom of the pile
if i told you i wanted to die would you believe me
would you be able to forgive my selfishness?
shamamama Jan 2019
After the birth,
this blue I feel,
I wear it like a robe
tied around me.
its edges hang beyond
floor length
Trailing behind and around me,
Laid out for your posterity.
I touch the still moist umbilical cord
spiral it,
leave it to dry.
I want to cry when I touch it
I am becoming me again, just me.
Now there is a you and a me
I look at you little one
your perfection
Delicate fingers and toes
Pink complexion, gentle hair
I know you are a miracle,
and I cry.
Your umbilicus fell off today.
Your belly button is your own now.
I witness you unfolding into this time,
limbs filling out into every new now,
My ****** expanded for you
And now it shrinks down everyday.
My *******, a river of milk flowing
To meet your hunger,
I hold you to my heart
And I love you,
Every breath,
Every finger,
Every toe
Every look and sound you make,
Every second-- I pour forth with love for you
How will our time
Be together
Will I listen well,
Will you show me well?--
You still see
the invisible umbilicuses
tracing back through every birth to
the original Mother
To the Great Oneness
Every you, and every me
Connected to the Source
To the Breath of Life
Now---- I can see this blue I wear
As the ocean around me
And I can feel the waves
washing me, washing me, washing me.
Mother, birth, postpartum, blue, cry, Source
Blossom Nov 2018
3:52 AM
Awake once again
Embracing his small, fragile frame against my own
Distracting my mind from the darkness
That worms it's way into dreams
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