each beat of my heart
is for you alone
i see nothing else,
but the shape of your hands
and heaven in your eyes.

he told me he loved the rain
the same as i did
what he meant,
was that he loved to watch
from behind the window
and listen as it gently tapped
against the glass.
when i say i love the rain
i mean that the roar of thunder
awakens my bones,
just as the smell of lightning
fills my lungs.
i hear it kissing the earth
and all at once
i can't stop myself
from running outside
and letting it consume me.

if you cannot
unravel my soul,
then you do not deserve
to undress
my body.

we aren't all
still waters and roses,
we each have
our darkness to embrace
our deepest desires,
demons in the shadows
i wonder if yours
has crimson hair
and saucer eyes,
if they hit you
with burning kisses
while you sleep,
just like mine
have eyes of ocean blue
and writers hands
that feel like home.

like the snow covered mountains,
you captivate me

before you
i didn't know
what fireworks felt like,
you set me ablaze
and it terrified me
now everything
dulls in comparison,
and all i have left
are memories
that tear through my bones.

it is said
that there is
a strange power
in the joining
of unlikely things,
perhaps that is why
our love
was other worldly.

in spite of the failed attempts
in spite of time
never being on our side,
you are my sweetest hallelujah.

you once said
our first kiss
felt like two lost stars
hopelessly colliding,
consuming each other
faster than we
could ever comprehend.
how then
after such an impact
can we fade to nothing
but whispers in the dark
just as easily?

i want to unravel you
pick apart your bones
devour you so hungrily,
you'll stain my sheets
and leave me aching.

our love was a loaded gun
the beginning
and the end
your lips grazed mine
before swallowing me whole
one last bite
of the serpents apple
the sweetest martyrdom
and just like horatio
i'm aching
with the anticipation
of your ghost finding mine
waiting for sleep
just to hear your voice once more
each syllable
still the sweetest hallelujah
even if we're nothing
but the whisper of a memory.

your love is deadly;
only you
could break me twice.

i thought i could let you go,
yet you pour out of me
each time i pick up this pen.
i guess i just wanted
to love you
a little
l o n g e r.

lazily we walk
hand in hand
the golden sun streaming
through the trees
your kisses sweeter
than honeysuckle
the hazy scent of
lilac blossoms filling the air
bees join us
the flowers are singing
immersed in the beauty of our love.

time can change
alot of things,
but you dug your nails in
and now, despite the
oceans between us
you're still the only one
my heart beats for.

we bled into each other
so naturally
as if our love was birthed
from the earth itself,
yet i seen constellations
each time our eyes met
as if the universe had planned us
this whole time,
willing us to make it.
what a beautiful thing
it could've been
if we had.

i see you everywhere
i miss what we had
who we were,
so lost
yet we found eden
in each other.
your arms
became my sanctuary,
now i ache
for their familiar warmth
and your lips on mine.
yours is a void that never fills
nor do i want it to
self sabotage
in the sweetest way.
you are my church,
my holy ground.

even after everything
if i could go back
to the first moment we met
i wouldn't run
from the heartache
i'd only tell myself
just how worth it
you were.

you picked me up
and spread me apart
over and over
leaving your notes
in the margins
and fingerprints
on my pages.
now no matter
who reads me
all they can see is you,
staining each page
with blue ink
and a hopeful heart.

every time
i think i'm over you
you smile
and i relapse.

you are,
you will always be
my sweetest haunting,
i loved you first.

crimson hair on soft pillows
like flames on water
darkness felt like home to us,
spending each night
talking to the stars
your teeth tracing my veins
my touch
enough to contort you.
our nights became ritualistic
your pulse pushing out your skin
shadows finding shadows
your demons meeting mine,
the moon was burning
my heart on fire
you are my muse.

i couldn't be human
so i made a home
in the woods
i danced with the mist
and ran with the wolves.
i lay on the pine needles
wove leaves into my hair,
perhaps if you come looking
you will find me there.

again i find myself
drowning in you
****** together
like waves on the shore.
i'm ready to go under
and feel you fill my lungs
you are my oxygen.

we are nothing but ghosts
yet you've stained me
like red lipstick
on fresh white linen.

i long to be
your first cup of coffee
kissing those
sleepy eyes awake,
whilst you feel the warmth
spread through your bones.
i long to be
the reminder of home
felt with each
gentle mouthful,
now an essential part
of your daily ritual.
i long for you
to spend the day thinking
of when you might
taste me next,
leaving hints of cinnamon
and sweetness on your lips.

even now
my memories
torment me
your ghost
travelling the halls
it's sweet song
denying me of sleep
your scent
fresh pine sap
and crisp salt water
lingers in my dreams
like a thorn
wrapping
around my ribcage
holding me close
each breath deadly.

your love is both
the shining altar
and the smoldering
gates of hell,
i dance between
like a woman possessed
unsure if you will save me
or devour me whole.

despite it all
we effortlessly end up
drawn together again
your soul pulling me in
my bones still remembering
how your touch felt
on those velvet nights
you light up my existence
and swim beneath my skin
my blood is yours.

you make me ungodly
i crave you above all else
like nosferatu
confined to an eternal bloodlust,
hungry for your love.

i will eat you
unapologetically
with kisses
drowning deeper
with each mouthful
until i taste nothing
but the sweetness
of your lips
and the burning
of my heart.

during those twilight hours
the moon gazed upon us
and blushed,
not knowing
where you ended
and i began.

once again
i'm falling alone
there's no hands to catch me,
only a foolish heart
with a glutton
for p u n i s h m e n t.

in the darkness i dance
crimson hair
like flames on the wind,
the moonlight
kissing my skin
wearing nothing
but midnight
i lie in wait,
surrendering myself
to the flames
for from the dark
my love has returned.

i do not want you
to try to complete
each missing part of me
to make me perfect for you
i want you
to see me perfectly flawed
lost pieces and all
and still want
to light up my darkest shadows
enough to outshine
each star in the sky.

i keep you with me always
you visit me
in the space between
sunset and moonrise,
in that world i belong to you.
keeping our memories
loccked up tight,
keeping them safe
in their heart shaped boxes.
i go back to them each night,
a land of whispered promises
and starlit worship.
i know if i could go back
there's not one i would erase.
despite the hurt,
despite the loss,
you were my masterpiece.

you feel like
soft autumn rain
underneath
amber streetlights,
while stormclouds
dance above
bringing the promise
of m a g i c.

hand in hand
we ran down the cliffside
wind howling
the waves crashing
crimson hair
dancing in the breeze
we sat for a moment
lost in the beauty of it all
thinking that the ocean
hugging the shore so calmly
before violently
breaking at it's feet
is much like how
our love feels.

i said never again,
but maybe this time
you would be different.
maybe it would hurt less,
when you handed
my love back to me.
maybe we were still
made of stardust,
desperate for another chance
to make it.
wanting to do better,
to finish what we started.
but you walked out the door
and once again,
i'm left alone
with my ******* heart
and the unwavering need
to love that which can destroy me.

when our eyes met
i could feel magic in the air,
just like hearing clair de lune
for the first time
you reminded me
of winter snowfall
with a wildness
that made me feel at home
your eyes burning with promise,
my heart burned too.

my love for you
is like craving more oxygen
- essential for life.

your voice is slowly fading
your words too far
to remember clearly
but the discussion between
your fingertips
and my skin,
still blazes wildly
keeping me up at night
like a moth to a flame.

my sweetest apollo
you are the only one
i will hopelessly
freefall into
time and time again
and even as i'm falling,
i will only
thank the stars
that i got so close.

let me drink you in
i will gasp for air
just to consume you.

the moonlight
glistened on your skin
on those tangerine nights,
your sweet moans
my own gentle lullaby,
in sweat and blood
we sang through the dark.