How many more times must you break me?
Before you realize you need to stop trying to put the broken pieces
back together.

If you knew how much I loved you,
you'd never have to question it.

I
wish
things
didn't
have
to
change.

Sometimes
Your
Everything
Still
Isn't
Enough.

Did you think
I would wait
Forever?

When you said
you wanted to kiss my lips,
which ones did you mean?

You make me feel all the seasons,
At times I don’t know what to expect,
If you’ll be Fall, and give me peace,
Or Winter, when I’m cold, --you’ll keep my warm,
Summers heat,
Beaches, --walks,
Picnics together in the park,
I want it all with you.
Will I be your Spring?
So I can give you butterflies?
I only hope to make you equally as happy,
And fulfill your wants and needs,
It feels like I have spent an eternity waiting for you,
But since we’ve met, I know you are the only one for me.
I’ve never been happier or felt more blessed.
It is as though I’ve known you all my life.
I love that I make you nervous,
And that I give you butterflies,
But nothing compares to how you make me feel,
With you,
I've never felt more alive.

Maybe I expected too much,
A kiss with such passion it’d make me fall in love,
It would sweep me off my feet with its dialogue in tongue,
It would be every and anything I had thought it was.

It would be perfect.
Tilted head, parted lips,
Lusciousness and sweet glances,

A stroke to my cheek,
A gaze into my eyes,
Only to reach disappointment,
I slowly died inside.

One moment I want you
The next, unsure

One moment my hearts open
The next, a closed door

One moment feelings overwhelm me
The next, no more

One moment I feel safe
The next, scorned

One moment I dream
The next, reality hits

One moment I am decisive
The next, ambivalent

One moment I am ok
The next, I cycle again

One moment I know I want you
The next, I am unsure...

Will this perpetuation ever become anything more?

I was not always this way
Broken
I was happy once
Before they stole it
I did not always assume
They fashioned me this way.

These walls I have were not always here
They were created to protect me
Protect me from the wrong people
The ones with secreted intention

My generosity was once limitless
I would love without boundaries
I could trust
I was free
Most notably I was me

I was sweet
They made me bitter
I was once warm
They made me cold
I was loving once
They made me hate
I was once open
They made me shut myself away

I was Happy
Truly happy once
It all began to fade
Attempting to shelter myself from harm
I built these walls
No love allowed
They changed me
Picking up the pieces to loves bitter tragedies
I remain
Another shattered masterpiece

If I unlocked my pages,
Would you read me?

If I showed you my chapters,
Would you remember my details?

If I opened my heart to you,
Would you accept me?

If I let down my walls,
Would you care for me?

If you ripped one of my pages,
Would you mend me?

If you scratched my cover,
Would you heal me?

If you completed me,
Would you toss me out?

If I didn’t intrigue you enough,
Would I be forgotten about?

If I served my purpose,
Would I be kept near forever?

Or would I return to the shelf?
Collecting dust,
Never again to be cherished or touched.
Until the silk of my pages lose their beauty becoming foxed.
As if I were not recently in your arms.
Enjoying the warmth of fingertips slowly turning my leaves,
Adoring the tender gaze set upon me,
While nearing a closing inevitably,
Why should I break my seal for you?

My eyes tell stories my mouth fails to speak
Words are a burden
When the causes leave streams of tears on me
It is all better left unsaid.

If I lower my lids will my secrets be safe?
Shut the windows to my soul
Keep them closed
And the awful memories be erased

Or will they come back to haunt me
Again another day?

When will I truly be happy?

Mirrors,
You never notice their magnitude,
Until each glimpse of reflection disgusts you,
Depresses you even,
When you are miserable enough,
To question significance of breathing,
Or why being born to this earth,
Has left you to feel deprived,
When your consciousness tells,
What you believe are lies.

You are a beautiful person,
Be aware of hidden gems.

Yet, compliments of being physically appealing are avoided like molten tempers,
Promises of the sweetest nothings,
You know to not take to heart,
After all,
You know what it is that they really want.

You cut me wide open,
and were angered at the sight
of my healer.

I wonder if....
I can ever,
Love anyone.
again.

They ask too late,
how to fix me,
as if they don't know,
a broken vase,
no matter the mending,
will always remain...broken.

I spent more time,
Adding up the things that,
Made me happy,
I hadn't realized,
The most important problem,
Was forgetting to subtract,
What was making me sad.

People don't change
They only show you
who they,
truly are.

I miss you.
The sweet you
Caring you
Beautiful you
Gentle you
The kind you
Forgiving you
The you before you were broken
The you before you were stolen
Taken captive by those who are undeserving

I trusted too easily.
Will you please forgive me?
Can we start over?

I will spend an eternity picking up the pieces to make you once again whole.
I will be careful with you this time.
I will keep you protected.
I will keep a watchful eye.

My heart

Walls of steel will shield you.
I will barricade you by doors.
I will protect you with locks.
You will be secure.

You need not worry.
But you have to know when to let me go.
Release the mind-set of being numb
Trust me enough
To be careful with you
I will be attentive of who I give you to.

I will hold on to you
I know you are a little unsteady
But if you don’t release me
How will I ever find love?

I'm at constant war,
With the voices inside of my head.

The taste of your sweetness,
Still lingers on my tongue,
I am an addict for your dew,
Remember the first time I pleased you,
The time my lips pursed between your folds,
That purr that escaped,
You knew I loved to hear you moan...
Then there was the silence,
You sensed what was in store,
As my mouth fluttered across your wetness,
and my lips engulfed your other lips,
You spoke and told me I'm nasty
But your taste I can't resist,
or how your diamond peaks at me,
Awaiting a tantalizing encase,
To be wrapped within my tongue,
Light strokes upon the center,
Twirling around the cape that no longer keeps it sheltered,
You hated when I teased you,
I could not resist when you said,
Please. Don't. Stop...
As if you knew being craved was my weakness,
I told you what you wanted to hear,
I'm not here to play games,
Firmly wrap your legs around my head,
Bring your garden to my face,
Every drop of dew is a present to my sheets,
Will you be my submissive?
I will handcuff you to the bedposts,
Before I let you run away,
I missed the way your body would spasm for me,
I promise to take my time if you honor me another night,
I only wish to say this blessing between heaven and your thighs.

You crept your way into my heart,
when I didn't believe there was room,
for another to reside.

This
is
not
how
I
thought
it
would
end.

This is not how I thought it would be.

If I were
to love you
endlessly
would my love
be returned?

Maybe the stars are more than they appear,
Maybe each star could be a count of the years,
--Or lives,
Maybe a star will one day be mines.