When you do so much for someone,
That you never receive in return,
It changes you.

I would have been
better off,
If I did not leave,
myself exposed,
I an idiot for having faith,
in something so brittle...

They'll write journeys of you,
within the depths of their eyes,
They'll think of you often,
and remember all times,
They'll paint passion,
with the sweep of their pen,
They'll feel deep, evocative spirits,
when voices relay what silk sheets have penned,
They'll tell of your kisses,
how they taste sweeter than wine,
They’ll tell of lips soft as clouds,
And tongues passionately sword fighting,
They'll speak of your flaws,
as if they are perfection,
They'll walk you into new worlds,
and seize hold of your heart,
They'll scribe their innermost desires between lines,
and grasp onto your soul,
They'll tell of your softness,
and how your skin favors silk,
They'll tell of your scent,
sweet and inviting,
They'll tell of your taste,
as tongues beg for nectar,
They'll speak of faith,
and the linking of two beings,
Fall in love with a Poet,
to be loved endlessly.

If I run away from my fears,
Would I then be free?

Would I be chased by my demons?
—Refusing to release me.

Would they knock me down?
Would they make me fight back?

Or would I turn around on my own?
—And decide to conquer them?

Things may be better,
When the worst is left unsaid,
Or so I had thought.

I knew this would happen,
All my fears came true,
I'm not afraid to love,
My fear of love, is you.

As the days passed,
I grew to be wise,
But the sun shine became dim,
and the rain fall --light.
I felt my petals crumble,
and my stem begin to wilt,
I let pieces of me fall,
Now I look back and wish,
That I'd never been a seed,
only to grow old and tired.
I once was a beautiful flower,
Until my petals died.

He calls me his Queen,
And I have a piece of me,
Not ready for him.

You have taught me so much.
How to love, let go, trust, and forgive.
-for that I am thankful.

I said you would be my year,
That clearly did not happen,
-but you've allowed me to grow.

After several moves, I'm finally content,
Progress is being made.
-I'm still alive.

I look back on this past year and all I have been through,
I keep asking myself, "why me?"
-but I guess that answer has fled in the winds.

2017, I look forward to you.
Success, happiness, self-love, -I need you.

I may be starting another year with a broken heart but God, if there is one thing I ask of you,
Please don't let this bitterness fester within me.

Her lips are a taste of heaven,
Since our first encounter,
I knew there'd be a place for me in hell.

Like the pages of a book,
I slipped through her fingers.
So intrigued by my sheets,
Each chapter leaves her breathless—wanting more.

A labyrinth of words,
Mere lines and curves—but full of meaning.
So absorbed reality has vanished,
She loses herself inside of me.

Like shadows cast from an open flame,
On her, my silhouette I leave.
Like sand to an incoming tide,
Be swept away in me.

My characters,
The excitement,
The new universe I bleed,
My Ink stained canvas—
Her escape to a new dimension is held within me.

We journey across worlds—in the same room,
I take her up mountains,
We swim across oceans,
Soar from country to country—
Her imagination free to run wild,
My hardcover constraints do little to confine me.

Spread me open,
Dive head first into my pages and reside there with me.
Lust for my contents—
Weep for the lives expired within me.

Become lost in the passion,
Written tears become real tears—emotions:
Memories,
Pain,
Anger,
Sadness,
Happiness,
With each new read she feels alive with me.

My plot— so sweet,
Once she tastes me— she realizes she was always starving.
The bookmark—her utensil,
She stops and goes as she pleases,
Feeding on the juices of a hunger that she can’t appease.

I am her favorite book.
Within me she tunes out everything,
I take her to new heights.
A free mind— captured by my mystery,
My pages are never-ending.

We will live,
We will age,
Only the smell and feel of me will change.
Yet she will always wonder what my next page holds.

I have left my mark.
Whether I lie on the side table,
Or rest upright on a shelf,
I, her favorite book— am always within reach.

Her lips told stories,
and with each share of a kiss,
I was pulled within.

I see the way you stare at him,
With fierceness in your eyes,
I see the way you blush,
With lips parting to smile,

I see the looks of guilt,
When eyes drift unto me,
I see the way you tremble,
When you know that I have seen.

I see the mannerisms,
The firm meets doused with wine,
I smell it on your breath,
I sense it within our time,

I see the way you stare at him,
With fierceness in your eyes,
I see the way you blush,
With lips parting to smile,

If only for a moment,
I’d been less naive to know,
He already has had you,
Your mind, body, your soul...

I see the way you stare at him,
With fierceness in your eyes,
The blushing never to cease...
Had you ever been mine?

She said I'm Honey,
A sweet blessing to her tongue.
Would you like a taste?

Awaiting the day,
I will be comfortably able to explain myself,
To show my weaknesses,
Without being accused of only making complaints,
Ruining days, moods, moments,
A time,
A person,
Where when I say how I am feeling,
They'll ask why?
They'll care and tell me to explain,
With you.
It will NEVER be this way.
I am tired of waiting.
I gave up hope on you.
On us.

A Haiku a day,
Lets curiosity stay,
Humble your musings.

I am not supposed to want you
Yet I reminisce of our night
The shudder that overcame me
From touches so light
The caress of my cheek
The passion of your kiss
Too genuine a gaze
I became trapped within
I harbor such a secret
I desire your slightest strokes
While temptation tugs at my wishes innermost
Powerless against my arousal
How can I keep this contained?
I am not supposed to want you...
I am NOT supposed to want you!
...But I cannot do without you.
Do you want me the same?

I hate how negative you are.
I hate that you do not understand me.
I hate that you believe negative rather than any positive in me.
I hate that this feels forced.
I hate that speaking to you is like a tongue fighting a knife,
--your words always did cut much deeper than mine.
I hate that you do not listen.
I hate that I have little connection with you.
I hate that you make me miss them.

When you’re at your lowest lows or on your highest highs,
I’ll be there when you’re ready to give up on life,
I’ll be there to save you from the Devils chains,
I’ll be there pick you up each time you’ve fallen down,
I’ll be there when you’re not ready to talk,
I’ll be there to listen when you’re afraid.
I’ll be there to guard you from the pain,
I’ll be there through the good and the bad,
I’ll be there for the bright or stormy days,
I’ll be there when nobody else is,
I’ll be there whenever you need me,

I only ask for you to promise that you will do the same.

Awaiting the day,
I can freely express myself,
Insecurities and all,
Without being made to feel guilty,
For feeling that way.

The Insecurities are flourishing,
A gorgeous garden is my mind—
But the weeds keep growing in.
Media like kryptonite—weakening my self esteem.
—Thoughts of a young child never knowing what to believe.

I lie awake in bed at night staring at the ceiling.
If only the notion could suffice in finding the words—
For the void I'm feeling in my life,
But it isn't simple.

Pure corruption of my mind,
Perfect pictures,
Flawless figures,
The images I can't erase.
Uncomfortable in my own skin—
What do I do to feel safe?

Do I drown myself in ink—to cover up the imperfections?
Instead of talking—walk and let my skin scream the self-expression?

Or do I return to the blank stare in the mirror?
The words are on repeat.
Who am I to think I’m beautiful—when I myself can’t see?
Who am I to think I'm valuable—when there is no self-confidence there?
Who am I to think I'm worthy—when I myself don't feel?

The insecurities keep flourishing.
A gorgeous garden was my mind,
But the weeds kept growing in.
Media like kryptonite—weakening my self esteem.
Thoughts of a young child,
--Never knowing what to believe.

One night as I lie awake—I hear my subconscious scream out to me.
The most attractive people do the ugliest of things,
The true beauty you want is what’s imprisoned within.
Why stop your happiness to return to a place—
—A place where you feel so alone?
Why do the tears flow?
You're killing yourself—
And you fail to realize
Your own self-doubt is the knife!
Pessimism,
The negative thoughts building inside—
They’re just as bad as the razorblade that kisses your skin as you sit in silence...
Why are you hurting yourself?
Temporary pain is only a distraction,
You were blessed and shaped by the hands of God.
What more could you possibly ask for?

Appearance is not everything.—
Stop the self-consciousness and live your life.
—acknowledge that you —are your worst —enemy...

I open my eyes.
The cries have ceased,
I return to the blank stare in the mirror.
The words are on repeat.
Who am I to think I’m beautiful—when I myself can’t see?
Who am I to think I'm valuable—when there is no self-confidence there?
Who am I to think I'm worthy—when I myself don't feel?

But it’s different this time,
My reflection speaks.
Saying no—
Who are you not to?
Your imperfections are beautiful.
Beautiful enough for the heart that is meant to love you,
Believe in yourself.
No more self doubt,
No more lost soul.

—No more insecurities flourishing,
A gorgeous garden is my mind.
No more weeds keep growing in,
Media is not my kryptonite,
No more weakening of my self esteem,
Thoughts of a young child finally unshackled —and free.

When you would stare at me,
Eyes fixed onto mine,
When you'd gaze at my lips,
For endless amounts of time,
When you'd tell me I made you nervous,
And to stop licking my lips,
Because even that small feat,
Created urge for a kiss.

I remember them,
Passionate,
Addicting,
Enough to make me understand,
The best kisses come from,
The person you love.
Only with you, have I felt that.

I feel myself...
taking steps towards love...
I no longer believed existed...

I wonder if you'll ever regret how you treated me,
and the love you didn't appreciate.

I wonder if you'll reminisce
of the times I'd been in your thoughts.

I wonder if you'll ever change.

I wonder if you'll treat others better,
or if your ways will remain.

I wonder if you'll push it to the back of your mind,
so you don't have to remember.

I wonder if my heartbreak was a waste,
or if you'll learn from me and become better.

The taste of your lips.
Temptation I can’t resist
Let me savor you.

He thought a kiss would fix it,
as if these wounds could be erased,
by a simple delicate gesture,
alongside mind blowing ***,
He thought I'd stay,
even as he pierced me with lies,
Hurt People, hurt people,
Until they feel hopeless and empty,
--he's begging me for another chance,
says he will do anything to be with me,
I asked what he is willing to do,
to become a better man.
I know I need to leave,
*but my heart is in his hands.

I had to let you go,
So that I could find myself,
It could have been a shared journey,
But you never wanted to help...

I stopped trusting Men,
I stopped trusting Women too,
They are all LIARS.