Anxiety is like this open box
You are in the center
Sometimes this box is clear and light
These are your good days
This dark might go cloudy
This is when you fog over
Your memory goes hazy and you don't know where you are
When the box goes colorful, it stays hazy
This is called dissociation
Overwhelming of your senses, makes you feel insane
This all starts to go away until the darkness creeps in
The box is slowly getting darker
As you start to panic
This is called an anxiety attack
Stuck in your own head
as you start to shake and scream
The box comes completely black as the depression
It only stays for a little while
But it's still scary, nonetheless
Then the day is finally over, the box starts to go white
As you drift off the sleep to start the cycle
All over again

I'm scared.
What are you going to think of me?
How have you not noticed?
Mother, you used to always say
That you have eyes in the back of your head.
You were always watching,
Always caring.
Why didn't you noticed that your once
Innocent child was now broken?
Your little baby girl,
She now wants to die.
The school told you once.
All you did was threaten to put me in a mental ward.
You never spoke of it again.
Was it because you didn't care?
Or because you were scared?
Scared that you're going to lose your only daughter?
Why didn't you talk to me?
Now it's worse.
I have to talk to someone.
Because maybe I will die.
And you'll wonder why.
Because you never asked if I was okay,
You should have noticed the scars.
They weren't from the cat.

I wish I was writing those love poems you loved
But now I'm just sitting here crying
Maybe you never actually loved me
These love poems you didn't read
Maybe just maybe I was wrong
Maybe you did love me
"It's not you, it's me"
I'm sorry I messed up
You won't have to deal with the love poems anymore...

You know I have never learned to dance
But when the music comes on my body starts moving
Sometimes like a ballet, sometimes tap
Sometimes a mix of everything in between
I don't care if people laugh, maybe they'll even join
If I can get them to dance
Maybe they will see the joy
But tonight I will just grab your hand
And hope you come along
For this is a little dance
And this is a little song

When you step your feet on
The dance floor
Do you wish for more?
Maybe you know how to move
Maybe there's something to prove
But once you walk-on

You begin to lose your sense
As music takes control
You start to dance with your soul
Your feet move without you
You just have to makedo
While the room becomes tense

You dance your last dance
As you start to look up
You feel yourself burning up
It's finally all over
Maybe there will be some closure
For this was a first glance

Into your dream of dance

Have you ever felt like dying?
That tightness in your chest?
Like you couldn't survive another day?
Well maybe it's time to come out of hiding.
This doesn't have to be a silent illness
No ones gonna yell
They care.
Maybe you won't have to deal with this alone
Maybe time heals.

Today I saw you
Happy as can be
Maybe I didn't matter to you
You were my everything
Now I mean nothing

Today I saw someone else
Someone happier than you
Guess what?
They are my everything
Maybe change is good
Now we can both be happy
Just in different equations

Joy is the happiness in baby’s faces
Joy is a feeling for all to see
It can show in you and me
You can see it when a child ties his laces
Why can’t we always show Joy?

Sadness is when they sky turns dark
Maybe it is more apparent in colours
But is it in others?
You can see it in his face, His name is Clark.
But can sadness actually be seen?

You think of anxiousness with teens.
When taking a test
Or making a mess
Maybe its just want to be seen
Anxiety is just needed to be known.

You used to tell me how innocent I was
How no matter what I would always be innocent
Until you hurt me
I took my innocence and turned it wild
I now can move around without someone telling me how to live
You took away my innocence the minute you left my home
I know run with the wolves
Everything you told me I was is gone
I've gone wild

I've gone wild
And you can't stop me anymore
I found someone new
Someone that won't call me innocent
They embrace my dark side like it's their own
They pick me up when I fall down
I don't have to be gentle anymore
I can run with the wolves

I used to think you were my everything
that no matter what you did you would still love me
you would still care for me
i proved that wrong
you showed me that i deserve better than you
you showed me that no matter what i have love to give
just not for you

i have found someone new
someone you wouldn't approve of
this person is someone that is different
they actually love me
they care for me unlike you
they are so gentle with me
like a delicate flower you're scared to break
maybe i wasn't your princess
But i'm certainly her flower.

I am creative and boring
I wonder about my family’s past
I hear dead people
I see spring around the corner
I want my dad back
I am creative and boring

I pretend to not care
I feel the sadness of others
I touch the sun
I worry about what the end is like
I cry about life
I am creative and boring

I understand almost nothing
I say that Christ is real
I dream about what life could be like if he were here
I try to do my best
I hope everything will work out
I am creative and boring

M- Marvelous
Y- Young Soul

F- Fast Thinker
U- Uplifting
T- Tall (in their heart)
U- Unbelievably talented
R- Rockstar material
E- Elephants (always our thing)

W- Wild (and i love it)
I- Incredible
F- Flamboyant
E- Everlasting love for you

I remember this little toy
He was a happy little fellow
He taught us to do cartwheels in the yard
His name was Tigger

I remember that he was never there.
I don’t even remember him at all
If only if he would have stayed long
Maybe that’s the problem
I don’t remember

I remember all the long nights we had
The woods was our favourite place
The whole family would get together
And just talk around the campfire
I guess it's the little things that matter

I look into your eyes
And all I can see is hope
You know that silence speaks louder than action
And when i see your eyes light up
That smile glow on your face
I know its love

I love this boy, you see
Sweet as can be
He has accepted me as me
and we never disagree

But this little love story has a twist
The girl goes through hell to just exist
Anxiety is a fright that has clouded her mind
So this little girl is in such a bind

A raise of the hand or angry in the voice
Leaves the girl with a very big choice
Ignore the fear or accept it with grace
She shakes and just hopes for a calming embrace

But when the boy hold tight
Everything becomes alright
It's kind of like magic
A case of true love, a classic

Now the girl is calm
Although she fights with her mom
The boy has righted all the wrong
And just like that, their love has grown strong.

Have you ever been so happy that you can’t stop smiling?
Well that’s how i feel when i'm with you
I know i'm bad at words and saying how i feel
But with you it's different
I say all these things that i don't even know i'm saying
I start rambling on about the little things
You are the cause of my happiness
You are the reason i'm sitting here writing love poems
Not knowing how to express emotion but knowing it's there
I know this all is just a ramble
There is no rhyme scheme or pattern
Truly you wouldn't consider it a poem
But with you my life turns into a rambled poem
So many thoughts that need to be said but none are spoken
Instead i try to express it with the thoughts and actions
Even though i still fail, you still love me
You have turned me into this love crazed mess
And i love it.

I remember that he was never there.
I don’t even remember him at all
If only if he would have stayed long
Maybe that’s the problem
I don’t remember

I have this saying
Silence speaks louder than words
You know I have proven this phrase multiple times
Like when I get a test back or when
Someone forget their lines on stage
But my favourite silence of all is right in that moment
That moment when you know something is going to happen
That moment that you have been waiting for
My favorite moment is seeing you smile as you lean in to kiss me
That’s when I want silence to last forever
when silence turns into happiness and love

A place of laughter
A place for smiles
A place where you can be yourself
By being other people
A place to grow up in
A place to be

I told you about the bad love poems
How I sit there in class and write
You thought the idea was cute
But you never asked to see
I wondered why
Maybe it's because you don't want to hear
You don't need to hear my true feelings
Or maybe you're scared because you don't feel the same

This isn't a love poem
This isn't a success
For this list is the opposite
Love is supposed to be sacred
Love is happy and kind
Well this list makes me think twice
All the people that hurt me
The reasons I don't believe in love anymore
The divorce rate is too high
The marriage rate is too low
Why find true love when it ends in heartbreak
I want to be the reason you believe in love again
Maybe one day you'll take me off that list
Maybe we can be a happily ever after

High up above the ground
Leaves surrounding us
The wind rustling beneath our feet
Sitting on branches with little small talk
If only this moment lasted forever

A little boy only five
Thinking he can climb up all the way
With a little puppy staring at us from the ground
Waiting and waiting for us to come down
The little child let his imaginary be wild
He used to be so excited to climb up this old tree
That he used to tell me all of his stories in

This little boy has now grown older
It's crazy how much a few years can change you
The puppy that waited at our feet is now old and tired
The boys stories are told less and less
Now this old tree only hears the silence of growing old

I was a torn
poking into your side
a constant reminder
you needed to get rid of me
but little did you know
I was a beautiful flower
just needing to grow

you threw me away
i found my own soil to plant in
i became that beautiful flower
all on my own

I grew up in a small town
Trees everywhere the eye could see
But I was with my grandparents
For you were always at work
And my father passed away  

This routine happened for a multitude of years
Day after day, I was spending with my grandparents
But when it came time to go home
I’d bawl to stay
For your house didn’t feel like home anymore

Years later you forced us to move
I didn’t care about money
Even though our life was a little blue
I permanently stayed at “our” house
Or so you thought
I snuck around after dark
Because I couldn’t handle you
You yelled and you nagged
Trying to be a good mom

But you never knew how to parent
You never saw me when I was young
You tried to protect me
But it turned sour
Because you didn’t protect me from you

I found out about them
Look at us now
I understand my siblings are not close at all
But it wasn’t right for you to hide them
I haven’t met them at all

Now that I’m older
And moved a little away
You’ve tried to be a parent
And changed your ways

I know you hate my lifestyle
Because I’ll never be the same
But at least I’m finding my happy place
Even though you lost yours awhile ago

I pray every night you go to bed safe
You’re still my mom
And I’ll love you anyways

On a sunny day in July
I met one pretty awesome guy
I will never forget that day
So will you stay strong ‘til May?

I consider you my best friend
There may be some fights to mend
You know how to make life real rad
I could even say I am glad

You have saved me from the bad times
I might even say you are mine
I haven't seen you since summer
I guess that's quite a ******

I may not have a lot to write
But you make my life oh so bright
I guess this is goodbye for now
All I can say now is meow

I love you...
Please stay

It's been awhile
A long time coming
A couple moons have passed
Time has came and gone
But you knew that
And that's why I'm here
Stuck.
No motivation for writing
But finally gained motivation to live
Pros vs. Cons
Who will win?

‘Twas the night before Warped Tour, When all through the mosh pit.
Every creature was stirring, and even the dumb twits.
The outfits were hung by the door with care.
In hopes that All Time Low will play there.
The emo and scene queens all scrolling through Tumblr in bed.
While visions of band members sung in their head.
And my Bestie in her beanie and I in my flannel.
Waiting and waiting for the Panel.
When on the stage there arose such a noise.
Then there was abundant amount of joy.
Away from the stage, just far enough to see.
The crowd went into a spree.
The band members enter the newly built stage .
We couldn’t believe that one day this will be the golden age.
What we dreamed was finally here.
It seemed like we were going to disappear.
With my best friend, Panda, by my side.
Before we knew it the stage was occupied.
“Now Flannel, Now Beanie, Now skinny jeans and Band tee.
On Andy, On Gerard, on Vik and Mikey.”
To the top of the stage! To the top of the charts!
Now we all know this was truly beautiful arts.
As Black Veil Brides sang their hearts out.
We were surprised no one blacked out.
Before we knew it they called out the wall of death.
I held my breath.
The teens started to scatter.
We were scared but that didn't matter.
People started to hit and punch.
But all we wanted was lunch.
So we ran away frightened.
But the music left us enlightened.
Next on the stage was the great Pierce The Veil.
But oh look we found a snail.
The music was great.
Even though we were late .
Then we saw on the stage Never Shout Never.
Then in the mosh pit we saw Trevor.
But then we discovered.
He had a gay lover.
We found out his name was Logan.
And Sleeping With Sirens yelled a famous slogan.
“Sometimes you gotta fall before you fly.”
They said with a sigh.
Now that we have a whole group.
It felt like we were stuck in a loop.
It was ever-lasting.
This was happening while the music was blasting.
Soon it was time to go home.
Even though it felt like we were in a dome.
That event now made memories for use to live forever.
We want to go back even though we may never.

Have you ever wondered what its like to be in love?
It feels like a gift from above.
Here's how to know you're heads over heels.
It's kinda ideal
Sparkles in their eyes
Feeling like you won a prize
A dream come true
Your sights are finally in view
A beauty from within
Where you begin
The future awaits
A feeling no one can replace
Wait until you find the one
That lights up your world like the sun
You'll be the happiest person alive
The relationship will thrive
I hope you get as lucky as I
Now all I can do is thank the sky

Why can’t you tell me?
This family is not my own.
Well they may be but they don’t act like it.
I see them everyday.
I see them smile, laugh, cry,
But why don’t they feel like mine?
Why don’t I match with the rest?
I have a different last name,
Not Mom’s or Dad’s.
Where did it come from?
There are some secrets.
Why can’t I know?
I found out about some of them on my own.
Why were you hiding me from them?
Well I guess it's for the best,
But why hide me from my siblings?
I found out about them but…
The one disowned me,
The one doesn’t care,
The one doesn’t know,
Maybe that's why you hid them.
But could you explain some things?
Why don’t I remember my Dad?
How did he have to die?
Why can’t I see him again?
But why do you get mad when I ask?
I just want to know answers.
Why can’t you tell me?

You got hurt.
You said things you didn't mean.
Or maybe you did mean them,
but now you have a reason to say them.
I broke you.
You lost me.
Maybe you'll forgive me.
But you'll never forget.
I'm just another name on the list.

Maybe there is something wrong with me
or maybe I shouldn't listen to you
You hurt me, when I needed you
You told me countless lies
Maybe you were right
There was something wrong with me
It was you

your eyes still light up my life
even if i can see the sparkle in your eye fading
i know it will come back
once the snow disappears
but i miss it for now
sometimes i get to see that smile
when i see it, its pure joy
youre actually happy
i see my future lying there
between your lips
i see happiness and love
i still see you as my prince
i always will
im determined to marry you
whatever we have to go through
no matter what
ill stick by your side
as long as you stick by mine