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S K Anderson Mar 2021
now I am unafraid

I have always been the last to leave
I’m counting down the days

green water rises
pulling me beneath

for a moment, I can see the stars
for a moment, I can breath

now I close my eyes
and see the world and sky collide

here, I find myself falling again
into sorrows, into depths
undiscovered
I wrote this nearing the end of quarantine. The third in a series of three.

All rights are reserved by the writer, S. K. Anderson.
S K Anderson Mar 2021
for fear of feeling full

I’m wondering and wandering
my building’s full of ghosts

I convince myself I like it here
I try I sigh I do

the emptiness still falls
from the walls of my room

I am angry
I am restless
I am lonely
I am “full”
I wrote this in the middle of quarantine. The second in a series of three.

All rights are reserved by the writer, S. K. Anderson.
S K Anderson Mar 2021
and in the dark
hoping that my emptiness
will both set me and tear me apart.

it is not sweet, but it is clean.
a harsh cleanliness only found in extremes.

and I wallow there, like a bird on a stone
watching his brother be cast down

I am afraid, I say.
afraid still
that in all this time I have yet to feel

may god bless you,
and god curse you

though I know he never will
I wrote this at the beginning of quarantine. The first in a series of three.

All rights are reserved by the writer, S. K. Anderson.
S K Anderson Jan 2019
COLLAB. WITH AUSTIN DRAPER

It’s little more than a quiet thought.
The impending feeling that the loneliness
was a creation of my own imploding self-conscious.
I wouldn’t have hurt you voluntarily,
so what outside force could know my mind so well?

It’s little more than a spoken word.
The rumble of the oncoming storm could be felt
from as close as 1.6 miles away,
where the darkness of your room invaded the
not-so secret spots of your heart.

I’m prone, to the truth in your words.
I’m not used to the idea of confronting my thoughts
And sorting them out to you.
Is it that I spoke wrong words? Or I stopped before they meant anything?
You mean so much, and now you are out of my reach.
I did the first two stanzas and Austin did the third. I really like it, it's the first poetry collaboration I've done.
***
Sep 2018 · 290
Those Three Words
S K Anderson Sep 2018
Every first time is first done slowly
and then like it's your last.
And when the words tumble out of my mouth
like a whispered avalanche,
It's all I can do to pray
you'll say it back.

But first you stare.

My mind goes a thousand different places,
revolving around the axis of rejection
strung by your silence.

It must be only seconds but it's stretched into
a quiet forever inside my mind.

And when you kiss me instead,
it doesn't calm my fast-paced heart.
That is, until you pull away with the words
close on your lips.

I love you.
Those three words have never made as much sense as this moment.
I rarely write love poems, but what else can a poet do when their heart is this close to exploding?

***
Aug 2018 · 396
Dream-state
S K Anderson Aug 2018
When the lights begin to look a bit like roses, you know you're in for a trip.

The challenging nature of my bones begins to melt away, leaving only the part of me that wants to paint pictures and tame hearts.

My mind is only occupied by the thought of your hand in mine and my only wish is this moment for the rest of my life.

Maybe it's unusual for me.

But I begin to feel that you're my manifest destiny.

And the soft wind and cool-aid sky only add to the idea that my heart is one moment from exploding.
I swear I wasn't on drugs.
Though the soft summer light is a bit of a drug to me.
***
Jul 2018 · 370
Skeleton
S K Anderson Jul 2018
I'm afraid you're my
skeleton in the closet
because you pulled my hair
and broke my bones
but if only they new
I enjoyed it
Odd thoughts from today.
***
Jun 2018 · 328
Do I?
S K Anderson Jun 2018
Your smile is unfairly noticeable.
Your voice is disrespectfully low.
Your eyes are rudely easy to get lost in.
And yet, I don't.

Do I?
A different boy this time.
He's been a friend for years,
I can't help but ask myself this.
***
May 2018 · 572
Birthplace
S K Anderson May 2018
I let the musty air fill my lungs
as it begs to remind me of
where I'm from

I grew up reciting lines
like I was just acting fine
when really I was just a child
with nothing better to do
with their time

and what was a hobby
became a passion
and what was a passion
became forgotten
I visited my childhood stage today,
from where my performing career began.
I do really love theatre.
***
May 2018 · 634
Not Quite
S K Anderson May 2018
I've almost forgotten how your
other-worldly eyes
peered into my
melancholy soul.

How your
key trained fingers
traced my
summer-kissed skin.

How your
wiser-than-mine words
changed my
impressionable mind.

Almost, but not quite.
Ah, he appears again.
This boy is always showing up in my poetry,
even if he doesn't show up in my life anymore.

***
Apr 2018 · 319
The Second Poet
S K Anderson Apr 2018
She's got a poet's voice.
One that makes sounds
as effortless as the wind,
describing the way
her mind wanders in Nevada.

I wonder if my voice sounds like that,
when the phrases exit my lips.
I doubt it.
If she sounds like the wind,
I sound like a old train horn.
The second poem from the Poetry Reading Trilogy.
A hint of hyperbole makes everything more interesting.
***
Apr 2018 · 379
Plastic Knife
S K Anderson Apr 2018
You ran the knife along your arm
until the plastic cut your paper skin.
As I pulled it from your grasp
you asked why
the pain and guilt
gleaming in your eyes
and I noted as I looked at you,
that plastic knives can cut too.

You never said you were fine.

I mentally compared
your arm to mine
holding back tears because
I was too angry to cry

The half cross you bear now
made me furious
because there was nothing I could do
to change it.
You'd gotten to far along
without intervention.

And I took responsibility.
It felt like my fault.
Like the wound was on my arm,
and I poured in the salt.

I'm sorry.
You deserve more than the faint scar
I've always hated that ending.
***
Apr 2018 · 265
I Heard the Stars
S K Anderson Apr 2018
Her wide rim glasses gave her away.
Long white hair and a soft face,
a wide contrast from the one
I was expecting.
Though they both held the
permanently risen eyebrows,
a sure sign of a poet,
She wasn't the laureate
with the short hair and daring face.

She told stories of trespassing.
She spoke as though
her life was that of an adventurer,
convincing us through
clever thoughts and rhyming words.

I listened,
almost unsure because I was
waiting for Star,
Not realizing I was missing one.
Cheesy ending because the lady I was there to listen to's name was Star.
I love poetry readings.
***
Apr 2018 · 271
A Short Five Minutes
S K Anderson Apr 2018
She likes trains.
I learned this because she was trying to fill up her five minutes.

She seemed unsure
but her stories told otherwise.
She spoke of marble bridges and Finland colours,
Enchanting enough that I didn't learn her name until afterwards.

Margret.

An English teacher
unafraid of rambling,
but terrified of going over time.
I wrote this while attending a poetry reading.
Margret was a lovely poet.
***
Apr 2018 · 246
Insomnia
S K Anderson Apr 2018
The stars mean so much to me because they put the universe in my hands and beg me to alter it.

They're the only company known,
while the world sleeps, and I can't.

What an incredible experience it is to see your world at rest, riddled with the pain of knowing you can't join them.
I thought I was an insomniac as a kid.
Here's how that felt.
***
Apr 2018 · 245
Fighting Soul
S K Anderson Apr 2018
Every step I took was controlled.
I had to resist sprinting,
my life on my tail.
I'd taken a quiet road,
begging something to happen.
Anything.
I knew I couldn't run from this,
(and really I just needed something to run from)
but the road was open
they'd never find me
though it left marks in the air,
they couldn't track my breath
and there was nothing else to track.
I could have left.

I don't care about being famous.
A well-known life isn't necessarily
a better one.
The one thing I do care about,
is lack of normality

I wish this life was enough for me
but it's not

every empty road calls to me
like a lover left behind
every day,
like an opportunity lost

I need adventure so badly it hurts,
and I wonder if I got it,
if I'd stop sitting on cliffs
while I contemplated what it would feel like to fall
what the wind rushing over my silver hair would feel like,
whether or not it would be worth it

I've contemplated death because it holds more potential than my life.

I understand that I shouldn't.
But on more than one occasion,
I've stood with the intention to fall.

I've walked on roads
with an intention to run.

I live every day in dread of having nothing to fight.
I've been cursed with such an easy life, when I was born with a fighting soul.
I got quite a bit of backlash on this poem when I wrote it.
Don't misunderstand, I'm very thankful to have a good life.
Writing this was intended to get those thoughts out of my system.
***
Apr 2018 · 233
Mass Exhaustion
S K Anderson Apr 2018
A wave of sadness
hit the city this week.
For the first time in a while,
everything was unbearable.
It was almost like there was a death
of a person we all knew,
affecting all our lives
and leaving us dead inside.
Like the God of liveliness
gave up on us for a week
leaving us to fight against the
lack of light on our side.
Smiles, real or fake,
never reached our eyes
resulting in quiet empty looks
like we had lost the will to thrive.
Probably because we had.
A different format then most of my work,
a different week than most of my life.
***
Apr 2018 · 294
Letters to Past Lovers
S K Anderson Apr 2018
Out of every one of you
who broke my heart
there was one
where I broke yours
first.

There was a time,
when I would have spent
my last day,
leaving my mark on your
unkissed lips
and tracing every line on your hands
with my own.

There was a time
when every moment of every day,
you were on my mind.

I thought I loved you.
I was wrong.

And I know we're young
and prone to puppy love,
and yet it felt so real.

For a time,
you were my everything.
I thought you were the
spark in my eyes,
and the power behind my words.

I believed the very stars themselves
would seem dim
in comparison to our light,
and the world would bend
in our linked hands.

And then I changed.

I've never told you
what really happened,
And now I probably never will.

I felt,
like my entire purpose in life
was to make other people happy
and I wasn't doing a good job.

This isn't an apology,
I've offered enough of those
and honestly
I'm not sorry anymore.

It's more of a lamenting ballad
Recalling the time
I thought I loved you
The mystery boy in my poems strikes again!
This is one of the last that he's featured in.
Enjoy!
***
S K Anderson Apr 2018
I couldn't care less about
"Inspirational Quotes"
I don't need to be told that
the present is a gift
or what the best thing about
rock bottom is
or that only I can stop forest fires.

If I was to write one myself,
it would have less to do with
landing in the stars,
and more to do with
how much better you could see them
if you had the eyes of an octopus.

See,
Octopi have such phenomenal eyes.
The spectrum of color they see
makes our own look like
the ****** box of crayons
you get at a kids restaurant.
Whereas an octopuses,
would be the beautiful,
64 Crayola pack
I always wanted as a kid.

If I ever went blind,
I think I'd get octopus eye replacements.
And yeah,
I'd probably look weird because
they'd be too big for my head
but can you imagine how
strange and incredible
it would be?
And it wouldn't matter how I look because
how I see things
is more important to me
than how I'm seen.

If there was even the
slightest chance,
of seeing though the
eyes of an octopus,
that's reason enough to be alive.

And if I could take your life
or your perspective,
and change it even a bit,
that's reason enough too.

So look through the
eyes of an octopus.

Can you imagine the stars?
This is one of my very favorite poems that I've ever written.
Can you imagine the stars?
***
Apr 2018 · 284
Say My Name
S K Anderson Apr 2018
Cancer.
Carcinoma.
Unintentional cellular suic*de.
All just different ways to say
I'm dying.

They say we fought a battle.
They say we died valiantly.
And once "they" stop talking,
I'd tell them it's more like
we were drafted into a room
where we were forced to put
guns against our heads
and play Russian Roulette
while doctors say
THESE ARE YOUR ODDS.
BEAT THEM.
We learn it's harder
to shoot a gun
while doctors play darts
on our arms.
We learn there's no such thing
as an
empty gun.

Sometimes I feel like I'd have
a better chance surviving
a car crash.
And I cry with my mom
because we both know she'll
survive the backlash.

Now I know you'll have no reason to.
I'll be another
name on a list
another
body, six feet under.

But of all the things about me,
my name is what I hope you remember the least.
But if that's what tethers you
to my memory,
promise me

you'll say my name

and remember.
So this wasn't intended to offend anyone.
I don't have cancer, I wanted to try writing from that perspective.
I know this is a sensitive topic so again, I'm sorry if I offended anyone.
***
S K Anderson Apr 2018
Dear people-who-think-global-warming-is-not-a-thing,

You have eyes, right?
You're just not using them?
Because I can open your eyes,
but I can't give you new ones.
But either way, you have ears
so listen up
because I'm going to tell you
why you're wrong.

For one,
this is a scientific issue,
not a political one.
It's not something
that can be debated.
Fact
not
Fiction

Now that's out of the way,
here's the numbers:

Throughout the entire human history,
carbon dioxide levels have
NEVER
been above 300 p.p.m.
(parts per million)
What to know where it's at now?
400 p.p.m.
On the scale of things...
Let's just say we're *******.

That's not enough for you?
I'm just getting started.
Sea levels around our lovely planet
have risen 8 inches
In the last hundred years.
Know what else?
NASA says that,
"The rate of the last two decades, however, is nearly double that of the last century."


Also,
You know Stephan Hawking?
The really smart guy?
Yeah, he says you're wrong,
so...

So this is me
begging you
to open your BEAUTIFUL eyes
(I thought maybe flattery would help)
to this disastrous situation.
It's not my imagination,
It's the end of our civilization.



Sincerely, The Environmentalists
I spent so long writing this one.
By so long, I mean about a week since most of my work
is done in minutes.
***
Apr 2018 · 228
The Poetry Effect
S K Anderson Apr 2018
I wish.
More than anything,
I wish.

Because no matter
how hard I work,
how long I love,
how truly I write,

it's not enough.

Because the poet doesn't get a
happily ever after.

We get a tortured existence,
a few words to say about it,
and an end.
Dramatic, isn't it?
But it's alright because it's how I felt at the time.
***
Apr 2018 · 261
Useless Prayer
S K Anderson Apr 2018
She prayed to distance
in hopes that she's be blessed
with a heart grown fonder
though she was aware that
new eyes
wouldn't change the way her
blue eyes
saw him
A poem I'm very proud of.
***
Apr 2018 · 325
In Mourning of Spontaneity
S K Anderson Apr 2018
There's nothing new under the sun.

I don't think I'll ever get over
that phrase.
Because honestly,
I'll always feel like I have
something to contribute.

Born to late to explore the world,
science is all I got left.

please

leave me something
I was feeling hopeless that day.
I wish I could tell myself that it would be ok!
Things get better!
***
Apr 2018 · 274
Funeral Saturday
S K Anderson Apr 2018
The music wasn't all that good.
But I didn't notice it that much
because I was lost in the
metaphorical resonances
of listening to a dead man's
favorite music.

It felt wrong,
holding a book while most others
held only tears and a bag of chips.

I wasn't a friend is his, and no.
We weren't related.
I'd never met him in my life
and yet there I stood,
mourning the loss of a man
with apparent terrible music taste.

Moral of the story:
Don't take a poet to the funeral of a man they've never met.
This was quite the experience to write!
I went to a public funeral with my dad for a man I didn't know because he was from my town.
It's a bit harsh, no?
***
Apr 2018 · 323
Dear Poets Corner
S K Anderson Apr 2018
Quoth the Raven...

I found solace in those words,
every day for the past year.
PC, you have been my solace,
my notebook,
my home,
and I can't bring myself to hide this
in poetic confusion
and metaphors.

You,
and everything that you are,
are sinking into the void
that holds only trolls
and phrases that barely pass
as poetry.

Your colors are fading,
no matter how fast
a select few of us
try to paint them back.

God, I'm so sorry I couldn't do more.
I poured my heart and soul
into you, and yet
it wasn't enough.
Why couldn't I be enough?

...

I know that's not fair.
I know you hold so many
beautiful people with beautiful minds.
People who spin feelings
into such perfect words,
people who are slightly
(or more so) insane
but all the best people are.

This was originally a goodbye letter.

But honestly,
I couldn't make myself do it.

Sincerely,
A girl who found a home
in your insanity
A letter to a favorite writing app of mine.
***
Apr 2018 · 303
Fairy Tree
S K Anderson Apr 2018
You had quite the charm,
pulling yourself into my tree.

Do you really think
every person is unique?

You're not so much like the
character I stated,
other than the romance.

Two years seems longer
than it should be.
A thought after hanging out with a boy.
***
Apr 2018 · 247
He told me Someday
S K Anderson Apr 2018
It began with me and a fence.

I stood near seminary,
with thoughts more important
than any I've ever had inside.

It seemed at that moment,
that the fence was the only thing between me
and everything.
It seemed that if I didn't cross to the other side,
I'd be doomed to a life of normalcy.

I stayed, obviously.
I can't just get up and leave.

It was your response that made me
realize what I'd leave behind.

You didn't tell me to stay,
you responded one word, remember?
You said "someday."
***
Apr 2018 · 572
Pilot 608
S K Anderson Apr 2018
I noticed a lady sitting across from me today.

See, she had a worn face from living hard, and tough hands from working harder.

And her piercing eyes, they screamed five words:

Don't let me be forgotten.
Just a short thought.
***
Apr 2018 · 322
A Penny for Your Thoughts
S K Anderson Apr 2018
Isn't it odd how even in the skies,
you occupy my mind?
Wrote this after flying a plane,
I was distracted by him.
***
Apr 2018 · 274
Proverb
S K Anderson Apr 2018
I have a reason to be happy with
my bad poetry.
The best poetry comes from the
worst of times.
So many throwbacks today, we're not even nearing the end.
Enjoy!
***
Apr 2018 · 276
Yeah, me too.
S K Anderson Apr 2018
"I'm sorry."
Sorry for what?
Sorry for not caring?
Sorry for all the times you were
forced to say it?
Sorry for every time
you weren't?
Cause yeah.
Me too.
A note to my sister that will never pass my lips
***
Apr 2018 · 380
In Loving Memory
S K Anderson Apr 2018
It hurts, you know.
That I wasn't there, to save you.
I wouldn't have been able to anyway,
but I would have tried.
So I will remember you,
Everyday.
I'll see you in your brothers,
And hear you in every piece.
And I'd like to dedicate this writing,
In loving memory.




Dedicated to Edgar.
Edgar was a cello, not a person.
But a cello that I loved dearly.
This was written the day that I found him broken on the floor.
***
Apr 2018 · 487
Bit Much
S K Anderson Apr 2018
Do you know what I want
more than anything?

I want to understand why it takes
so much pain to be able to
describe in detail
how the sky bends.

I want to understand why you caused me to see your eyes as pale instead of piercing.

I want to understand why a pretty face and slim waist is valued over a higher understanding and a way with words.

I want to understand why something is considered beautifully written, just because it hurts to write.

I want to understand the world, but that's asking a bit much, so I'll settle for this:

I want to understand you.
I'd like credit Shane Koyzcan on the sky line, as it's a reference to one of his poems (To This Day).
Enjoy!
***
Apr 2018 · 487
Hotel Cassiopeia
S K Anderson Apr 2018
We watched
With shells in our bags
Dominoes in boxes,
Marionette distractions
Letter passing
Pure manipulation
Colors of our childhoods
A brother through window pain
And learned to see beauty
Without having to understand
A poem I wrote after watching a beautiful play titled Hotel Cassiopeia.
If you ever get the chance to watch it
take it
***
Apr 2018 · 297
Definition
S K Anderson Apr 2018
I've listened to the same song
For weeks

I cut my hair short cause I was feeling edgy

I wrote a screen play about abuse ****** and insanity

You want to know why I stay anonymous?

Because if you don't know my name, age, religion or position,

You can't believe my name is the definition of innocence.
This was my first piece ever published!
Yay for that milestone.
***
Apr 2018 · 369
Teacher's Lounge
S K Anderson Apr 2018
You
My best friend
Layed out your heart
Fears, tears and vulnerability
In a room
That should have been locked
Laughed at a donut left behind
Described your depression
A terrifying look inside
And we sat there
Emotionally exhausted
Broken
But broken together.
A present to an old friend of mine.
I was a bit dramatic, but it makes for good writing.
Enjoy.
***
Apr 2018 · 256
Note to England
S K Anderson Apr 2018
Learn to drive.
Something that I jotted down while traveling England two years ago.
Strange to think it was so long ago.
***
Apr 2018 · 314
Truer Words
S K Anderson Apr 2018
My poems don't rhyme
Because I
Like it better
This way
Simply rhyming words
Doesn't make a poem
It needs meaning
Not just the
Teaming
Of words that sound
Alike.
A response to people who ask why my poems don't rhyme.
I wrote this a long time ago, just posting old things.
***
Apr 2018 · 702
The Ranger Man+Poetry
S K Anderson Apr 2018
So they showed us the trees,
And told us to write.
Beauty and
overly-accurate descriptions
Expected.
Write about trees, they said,
But not about trees.
Write about roots,
And families,
And graves,
And anything you can stretch to
Relate to a tree.
But that's not my thing,
So I'm going to write about
Something else.

The people are staring at me.
Glaring, almost.
They don't want the teenager
On her phone.
Oh no, she should be
LISTENING.
They don't know
I'm writing poetry,
While they look for faults
In the tulip tree.
They nod their heads in agreement
To infections of the olive tree.
I'm on the ground,
So I look at their shoes.
You can tell a lot about a person
By the shoes they wear.
So they learn about trees,
While I learn about them.
I play Sherlock Holmes
And try to guess their
Personalities by their appearances,
Not really listening to the
Ranger man
Tell us about the
Growing process of a Ginkgo Tree
He talks about a Smerf,
And I absentmindedly ignore him
As I stare at the eyes
of my favorite type of tree.
I give him credit for trying,
Because while he doesn't have
My attention,
He appears to have everyone else's.
Soon, we gather around another tree.
He calls it 70 ft.
I call it big.
The sprinklers turn on,
And we laugh and move,
And we watch the squirrels
Play in the trees.
He makes a joke, and we laugh again.
It was a good time.

So I learned a lot today.
And while I came here
To learn about the trees,
I learned a whole lot more
About the people.
This is a very old poem of mine, one of my favorites though. Please enjoy :)
Apr 2018 · 227
Low on Space
S K Anderson Apr 2018
What do you mean,
you're low on space?
Your want me to
delete some of the thing
on your memory
and intentionally give you
technological amnesia?

— The End —