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Mar 26 · 63
The Step
Nic Mac Mar 26
It’s where I want to be,
That place I cannot reach.
And if I dare to look ahead,
it will taunt me, Warn me.
Go back a step instead!

“I’ll never get there!”
My vision starts to blur.
Reaching out with fuzzy hands,
To hold something steadier than my nerve.

But dense is the air and the fear, that wears me like a cloak.
They picked me up like this, they saw that I had broke.
How to step forward, when these shoulders are my home?
Looking back is easier, if you kid yourself you’ve grown.
Mar 6 · 234
Nic Mac Mar 6
Let the dust settle
be patient
as you watch
and trust,
that gravity,
will coax it down

allow 'time'
to assemble its own fate

a silent audience
we must sometime be
to observe all things
bad and great
Mar 6 · 247
Nic Mac Mar 6
may the gust of air, remind you that the world is spinning.
let it not instil worry,
let it not instil stress.
let it teach you instead....
to be anything BUT 'still'
bless this ground with your dance if you are able,
and if today you are not?
let it inspire tomorrows mind...
Mar 6 · 146
Nic Mac Mar 6
As with flowers and with bone,
the life you lead will be sewn.
and under flesh and weeds,
will lie a soul filled with deeds.
and I hope, upon the greatest descend,
with no-more hearts left to mend,
Before the tears and the dirt,
you'll Smile, for all life is worth.
So when the rain falls and the sun sets,
you'd have loved it all with not one regret.
Sep 2019 · 365
Nic Mac Sep 2019
There’s an ocean, collected on the other side of the world.
Away from those that taught her destruction.

Learning from the land what it feels like to sink.
What else can she do but weep?
and slowly flood as we sleep...
Jul 2019 · 612
Nic Mac Jul 2019
You said it ‘would be a ride’
and as you took my hand,
and dragged me along the tracks,
I felt, what you meant.
Nic Mac
Jan 2019 · 309
You see...
Nic Mac Jan 2019
When you loose a love,
It wasn’t love that you lost,
For it couldn’t have been.
Nov 2018 · 383
The Mask Slips
Nic Mac Nov 2018
This mask, so engrained in my mind,
that I forget it resides on the surface of my skin, rather than sunken in.
It slowly, and is, slipping.
Every touch,
Every time,
Loves loving eyes locked on mine.

My curse loosens it’s bind,
As it’s dissolved between us,
surrendering to your affections,
It can’t take loves weight.

Unveiling my colours,
It’s you that pulled the tapestry.
I forgot, of what, I was capable.
Of what, so long, had been hid.

This mask,
Dismantled at my feet.
Lowering my gaze to a shattered past,
Until my chin is met by kind fingertips...

Upwards, my scarred skin, tips,
to face you,
Nov 2018 · 172
Nic Mac Nov 2018
There is a space between us,
One that I did not make.
It was crafted by your hands,
But you may not recall, my dear.

Perhaps when teary eyes grew tired,
You built it in your dreams,
Whilst I was holding you.
And now we wake,
to a distance we can’t explain.

Air falls differently here,
The heaviness of a space,
You may not truly want,
But may truly need.

Helplessness lays another brick,
A slave to this magnificent structure,
Ever successful piece by piece,
To house the beast that haunts you.

Tear them down with me
Tear them down without me,
Just please my love,
Don’t add a single brick more.
Jul 2018 · 650
Falling in Silence
Nic Mac Jul 2018
Here is where you want to be,
where it is dark and quiet.
So eyes are not to witness,
this uncontrolled curiosity.

You want to face a feeling,
that until now had been unknown.
You cannot plan how far you’d go,
feeling the pull, only when it tugged.

Forward or backward is up to stars to tell.
Fate is shrugged off skeptical shoulders,
as curious steps seeked reasons,
before the earths solemn shadow fell.

did you?
Jul 2018 · 1.7k
hearts hardest beat
Nic Mac Jul 2018
love the person whom it isn't easy to,
where we find hearts hardest beat.
past pain holds us back from bloom
don’t hang that heart in defeat.
Petals will still spring buds anew,
love is closer than you think.

for ‘Love’ is,
to love the ‘you’ you’re offering.

grow strength from within, to reach out.
the way roots spread, to hold longer branches,
and fall short, when watered with doubt.
turning trust into lust and torn into ashes.
loves whisper can’t be heard if we shout,

for time, is worth it’s weight,
and to find yourself amoungst it.

As the wiser stars above will say,
if you love yourself little,
so will be your love and what you own.
so love yourself a great deal,
and grow colours you’d forgot you’ve sewn.
Jun 2018 · 314
Liquid Amber
Nic Mac Jun 2018
from the tears,
to the gold.
to the years you hold...
or 'held'.
so easy I forget...
or 'forgot'

Amber, Amber you,
now and forever,
folded into gold.
earthly embrace,
ground must fold...

rest my dear
the years were great.
for now though,
those Amber dreams await...
the tree we buried with you, for you.
Jun 2018 · 5.5k
Your Night, My Day
Nic Mac Jun 2018
Distance, is this air around me that is vacant of you.
Your heart, so far from mine, though I can hear it’s music.
Patience, is the belief that time without you is bearable.
Seconds slowly scrape along the line I drew to wake.
Nothing matches this ache.

of opening eyes to mornings, without your laughter.
Closing them is redundant,
it does not permit me back, to revisit the dream I had left you in.
Eyes instead reluctantly greet the sunrise,
whilst yours are still dancing, flickering, in the gift sleep brings.
I wonder if your searching for me.

Impatient hands long to pull you prematurely out of slumber. Reaching across this border in vain, restless mind teasing me,
as it thinks of holding you, kissing you, here. now.
Dare I soften the white peaks of the mountains that part us?
I mustn’t, thinks the patient witness of time I’ll wait for you on the other side my dear...join me, soon, I wait eagerly.
the wait for wakefulness as they sleep still....

By Nic Mac
May 2018 · 132
_ _ _ E
Nic Mac May 2018
Finding you, has been a gift.
As the journeys past falls behind.
Time was but a mear suggestion.
Endings start with you...
May 2018 · 288
Nic Mac May 2018
why do i stop?
why do i look away?
to the wall, to the lamp,
to anything, to refocus, to look.
to not roll back my eyes into dreams with you.
why not let myself lose my mind?
just yet.
no matter how much i want to fall and forget,
forget myself and how i stand,
or even once had stood,
to let knees bend back and forget their place.
just so,
the way they wish,
the way they should.
why do i stop?
why do i wait?
no doubt in my mind, do not mistake me.
nothing of this is an apprehensive state,
i do not wish to hesitate,
but my past precipitates, integrates and forces me to be sure,
to hold you an inch apart.
wanting more.
i’m so close to drowning,
all i have to do is breath and i’ll be lost in you.
i want more.
an inch away from you,
just and inch,
right now,
needing this,
today an inch,
forever i could miss.
May 2018 · 4.2k
love letters unsent
Nic Mac May 2018
love letters Unsent
because for you? they’re not meant.
though written in this language inspired by you.
this place discovered, with your hand, as it led me to.

but further, we were not to tread.
and some of these words, are not to be read.
thankyou's, are to be sent instead


for opening this door,  I could not find,
illuminating what lay behind
i to be seeing with eyes for the first time
that had not, and did not, see
what had been within my capacity
with shackles shook free.

this rusty heart begun to speak
within the flow of my ink
as paper below allowed words to sink,

but to send..was not on the agenda
you cannot hear what I shout
as past fears on ears pound
it’s not meant for you and me
not to be truly or deeply,
was it not the reason fate had written?
our stars were those, that would simply, find each other,
to find ourselves.
May 2018 · 1.7k
business man running
Nic Mac May 2018
We run stiffly,
in tailored suits.
Shiny, but firm,
leather boots.
Never again?
to be free and loose with our feet?
like we did when we were kids?
We run as much as our capacity and tolerance allow..
but straight.
with restraint .
As to not shake, at our dignity
By Nic Mac

Makes me smile when I see, what only can be described as - the restrained running of grown men and women, in their business suits. Often seen at train stations
Apr 2018 · 256
Nic Mac Apr 2018
no one
would say
to peace
if asked.
so why
have we
not said
or made
it last
Written By Nic Mac
Apr 2018 · 1.0k
parted ways
Nic Mac Apr 2018
if it was meant,
that you could walk away?
then it was meant
that I could not make you stay.
it does not hurt me, I trust it.
goodbye my dear, departed
Apr 2018 · 272
you ask, I say
Nic Mac Apr 2018
I willingly say the words you need,
again and again without question.
Allowing them to slit through my heart,
If to hear them, is what you need most.
The price to keep yours close.
You split down the length of my bones.

May they cut me, as I speak them.
and burn me, as I feel them leave.
You'll take them,
And thank you,
as you watch me bleed.
By Nic Mac
Apr 2018 · 238
dance with the dark
Nic Mac Apr 2018
Half the globe shrouded in
Not all lie to sleep and join loops
of dreams.

Some widen their eyes to the backs of
their minds,
And dance with the shadows
they keep.
by Nic Mac
Apr 2018 · 461
know me, you don't
Nic Mac Apr 2018
hear me
i will speak clearly,
or clearer still.
you don't
know me,
go about this day.
as i remind.
as you read,
from my own voice,
i am a girl you never met,
or mustn't have.
i've learnt this now.
and so think of me,
what you will,
or what you have,
or what you feel.
hear me.
hear the truth,
regretfully discovered.
you're wrong about me
or was,
and will be.
By Nic Mac
Apr 2018 · 245
Nic Mac Apr 2018
Speaking honestly, finally
Naming them, in their multiples.
Listing deceits,
that had sat,
as my obstacles.
Hitting me, as I ran.
Stopping me, so I’d fall
Over the emptyness you placed there.
How cruel it is, to cover my eyes,
while the image is screamed at me
I can still hear it,
I will always hear it.
But, there’s a reason the phrase
“You have to see it to beleive it” exists
with more  prominence.

I had enough dark,
It surrounded everyday,
Illuminate this mistake.
I don’t care if it hurts your head to bow,
is ‘shame’ really that unfamiliar?
Show me, tell me.

finally you let it,
let them.
Some of it, enough, of it.
What was hidden, now basked in truth
I see it now, for all that I knew,
but now of which I can be certain.

Your hands, it seems,
still around my throat.
With this “thankyou”
This “thankyou” I say
to the most ironic of gestures.

Speaking with honesty
about how profoundly you had lied.
Apr 2018 · 561
weak neck
Nic Mac Apr 2018
head down.
low gaze.
weak neck,
thats why.
broken down.
lesson learnt.
weak neck,
can't forget.
night comes,
i cry.

weak neck,
low gaze.

head down.

strong hand.

cards up,
face up,

read me.
By Nic Mac
Mar 2018 · 194
Nic Mac Mar 2018
let the dust settle.
it doesn't take long.
it never does.
gravity calls it.
It's weight decides.

be patient my dear.
air will become clearer
if you promise to be still
as I do too with you.
let us stand
staring into eyes, gazing.
we'll communicate in wordless sighs
moving eyes hesitantly across the landscape
that 'dust settling' decides.
By Nic Mac
Mar 2018 · 487
Nic Mac Mar 2018
An ability we can't explain,
the ability to feel our love.
To feel it still even through pain,
what a gift it is, or so it was.

Before we forgot and squandered,
loosing it to the infinite.
Before we rationed and excluded,
basking it in pride.
Before we took the reins and pulled too tight,
what once was out of sight.
Our greatest gift, that we can use to cure so much and so many, but rather reserve for a select few.
Does this make it more precious? or does it close our hearts from the infinite love we could share.

By Nic Mac
Mar 2018 · 187
Strength is....
Nic Mac Mar 2018
To identify,
upon reflection,
a weakness.
By Nic Mac
Mar 2018 · 1.1k
Nic Mac Mar 2018
is all effort denied.
It clasps you, at your base.
Shame, lives here,
Nothing. To erase.

is to not find yourself,
once you've searched eternities.
Amongst the blades of grass,
where the blood fell.

Whether you walk,
Whether you run,
Whether your fingers will it so.
To be undone,
To lose,
To go.

You cannot outrun, what followed you here.
You've held the rope too tightly,
Don't blame the blunt knife.
For what you'd never sever.

are those of waste,
as the anxious heart, keeps it laced.
It knows your face, it made it.
is the pain you make it,
Dragged here. In this place. To shake it.
safe to do so,
to let it go,
you are one.

Cut off this limb
but had tied, to the soles of your feet.
By Nic Mac
Mar 2018 · 8.0k
White Flag
Nic Mac Mar 2018
I don't want to shoot,
I don't want to win
I don't want to 'fight' the way we were trained,
I'll fight with my heart and a can of white paint.

Wounded flags fatefully fall.
Under the spell your command.
But watch me you will, I'll make them true,
Watch me you will, as I make them free.
We don't belong to you.

I'll brush them clean, with the truth of our tears,
Unwilling participants of the sick game,
We never wanted to play.

I don't want to shoot,
I don't want to win
I don't want to 'fight' the way we were trained,
I'll fight with my heart and not with your aims.
I'll fight for us all,
For we all die the same.
To go with an illustration I did of a dying solider who, In his last moments, painted a flag white, aswell as the emblem on his arm...

By Nic Mac

Written by Nic Mac

— The End —