Sometimes,
you just have to,
dance naked,
in your room,
cuz no one else,
wants to.

Goodbye has become a simple phrase,
One I share with one too many.

I'm anxiously waiting,
For someone who makes saying goodbye not so easy.
For someone who makes saying goodbye impossible.

I'm hoping that on the other side of a goodbye,
There may come a hello,
That doesn't end the same way all the others have.

A picture is worth a thousand words.
What I find most impressive,
is how with one sentence,
you can paint a thousand different pictures,
in a thousand different minds.

I’ve never seen lights so bright in my life.
I bet people don’t even notice when it goes dark.
I can’t help but wonder … what else they don't notice.

Everybody needs to run around,
But I'm stuck on third,
And all I want to do is run home.
So I fill my days with mindless games hoping I can forget how I felt,
But saying goodbye was the worst I've cried and all I want to be is back in your arms.

I need you like a bad habit.
Like, biting my nails,
Or, telling far-fetched tales.  
I make sad attempts to stop but,
I can’t stop biting,
My fingers are bleeding.
I can’t stop lying,
What is this animal I’m breeding?
I can’t seem to quit,
You’re all I think about.
Trying to stop is like
Not craving rain,
In the middle of a drought.

Sometimes
tragedy
can be a kind of
twisted beauty
making us crave pain.
Don’t let that take away
from the beauty you can find
in good fortune.

I've never felt so happy
or so alone
the ones beside me drifted by me
and sung me a sweet song I grew tired of singing
so hum me a melody so sweet I can see
the good in a heart again
so I can wake up again
to light in the sky again
to light in my eyes again
erase these dark scars that line my skin like a road map
leading you to the secrets that lay silent in my skull
wanting to break free
needing to be set free
release my clenched fists for me and close my eyes shut
fingers intwined,
touch your lips to mine
breathe life into me.

I waited for you for as long as I could hold my breath,
And on the verge of death,
I had to let go.

Spit in my face then tell me you love me.

I wanted you to cut me open,
drink every ounce of the blood I was selling you.
I wanted you to look into my eyes,
see what no one else saw.
I just wanted to rip all your clothes off,
to lay with you, naked.
I didn't even want to touch really,
I just wanted to know what it felt like,
to be vulnerable again.

From thousands of miles away,
I can still feel you breathe.
From thousands of miles away,
I wish you thought of me.
From thousands of miles away,
I want you right here.
From thousands of miles away,
**I hate you even more than when you left.

I look around and all I see are unhappy people living unhappy lives.

Maybe we write to create worlds where people don't let us down,
where we don't let ourselves down.
Maybe we write to create relationships that last,
To create courage and honesty.
Trust.
Real love,
what this world once had that is slipping away.
I want to catch these things before they fall,
I want to collect every single piece of what I think love is and
swallow them whole,
just to show the world it still exists.
We're not lost forever,
We might just be for now.

I don't know how I got here,
But suddenly I am here.
I don't know where these thoughts came from,
But suddenly they're here too.
I don't know where I left myself,
But suddenly I'm nowhere in sight.
I don't know how to get it all back to how it used to be,
But I'm scared I'll have to accept that this is my life now.
Maybe what I remember of myself is gone,
And maybe,
I'm not coming back.

If I reach out,
hold my hand,
and don't let go.

I looked up at the night sky
Every single star exploded at once
A storm of dust surrounded me.
I couldn't move,
I couldn't scream,
All I could do was stand there in silence staring,
Wondering if it would ever end.

two dead bodies buried in sheets
wrapped in white blankets
wondering, withering
no room for clean air
all has gone stale
I listened for your heart beat
couldn't hear a single sound
locked in your arms now
death sounded scarier
before I knew
loving and dying both feel the same

The world does not belong to you,
Nor do I,
So get your eyes off my heart,
And your hand off my thigh.

You're a mess,
And I'm obsessed,
Just kiss me when you go.

when I told you
how much it hurt
when you said you couldn't be with me
you said
you couldn't understand
thats when I knew
it wasn't that you couldn't be with me
handle my baggage
or anything else
it was more simple than that
you just didn't love me.

Tell me you love me
then tell me you don't,
Play a game with me,
Hold my hand,
Break my heart.
Thing is,
You can do all
the ****** up ****
you want,
But I was the one
standing in the front,
Of all of the lines
that waited for you
to be done fooling around.
You picked the girl who
skipped the line.
Do you ever wonder,
If she's going to cheat
your heart like she does
the rest of the world?
I guess that's what
this life calls karma.

when you walked away you forgot to let go of my hand
and you took me with you
but I was not beside you,
I was behind you, begging to be seen
I was forgotten
the worst feeling isn't being left behind
it's being left along the way
when you're sitting right beside someone and they can't see you
they never saw you
you're yelling at him to let go
but he can't hear you,
he never heard you.
he only listens to himself
and he wonders why the only people who surround him
are those who only like him
for the shallow things
floating at the top of his throat
there's his answer.
you wanted to dive into his soul and latch to his lung
pinching whatever breath he had in him
reminding him that sometimes
it's easier to breathe with someone beside you,
someone inside you
he coughed and spat you out
but kept your taste a memory
for when he was craving something sweet
and now all you hear from him are whispers in the dark
when he's lonely
and has a craving
you know that cravings don't last
you know that neither will you
but something inside you,
wanted him to be happy
because if you could just make one person happy,
maybe you would be too
but this is the hard way
to learn that isn't true.

If only I had learnt the patience.
Maybe then we could have worked out.
Maybe, just maybe then I could have realized that everything isn't meant to be perfect at once,
That perfect comes in pieces and will never be something complete.
That searching for happiness is the only way to never get it and
That two people will never be entirely right, or wrong.
That accepting this is the key,
the key to just being.

The place you are is just a place,
It means no more or less for face.
It doesn't give you status or rank,
All it provides is your own place to think.
Hopefully that place feels like your little home,
But if it's doesn't you'll feel this never ending urge to roam.

Go out,
explore,
be curious.

That's the only way you will be able to find,
the place that's always been,
But you never knew,
At the back of your mind.

If I told you I loved you
You would look at me crazy
If I told you I loved you
You would run away as fast as you could
If I told you I love you
You would tell me to take it back
So we could go back
Because if I told you I love you
Everything would change
We wouldn't just be having fun
Or messing around
This would be real
And it would hurt if one of us left
If I told you I love you
You would have to meet my family
And to us
That's just baggage
If I told you I love you
You would remember when she said those words
And the moment when she took them back
But what you dont know
Is when I look at you
I tell you I love you with every blink in my eye
And when I kiss you
I kiss you with one thousand I love yous
Tingling between us
I might not say it out loud
But I've said it to you
In a whole bunch of different ways
Every.single.day.
And you haven't run away
So I'll wait and be patient
For the right time to tell you
But just know from the moment I saw you
I already knew that I loved you
And unlike her,
I'm not going anywhere.

I found it today in the birds and the trees,
In the ocean breeze,
I found it in the smile from a stranger,
In the lick of the dog,
In the hands held by couples walking by,
In the blink of the eye.
I found what I thought was lost,
I found love,
Or it found me.
Whichever the case,
It isn't gone,
It's just hiding in all the places we forget to look.

If you leave
dream of me,
I hope you always think of me.
I'm lost without you,
Don't you see?
I'm constantly reminded.

And if you don't
believe me,
And when you left you forgot me,
I hope you always dream of me,
In night terrors and lions.

I always pick the broken ones, cuz I am broken too.*

I look to the ones with damaged bones,
beat down,
broke down,
weathered.
Hoping where our pieces broke that they might fit together.

When you only have two halves of hearts,
You'd assume they'd make a whole,
But lying in bed next to you,
I've never felt less of my soul.

I guess you have to try and find,
Your other half all on your own.
Because you know it started out with you,
But then you gave it out on loan.

You can't seem to remember,
Who now has it in their hands.
There were a lot of faceless broken ones,
And they all look the same in the stands.

But you learn how to make a house a home,
Even when you aren't there.
To surround yourself with greatness,
And only those who care.

It's harder than it seems to sound,
But you'll get there,
You'll find a way.
And you'll wish the best for the broken ones,
Because you were just them yesterday.

The day you said you could have loved me,
I ran as fast as I could.
Today I ran out of breath,
And I'm alone.
I'm sorry.

I wish for the day we find someone who doesn't have to play pretend,
who sees my scars,
and softly presses their lips to every single one,
not to erase them,
but to simply accept the parts of me I am not proud of,
as they are,
as I am,
and then last they will take their lips and rest them on mine,
not to erase me,
but to colour me for the rest of time.

We had no warning,
no nothing.
I remember our last hug,
I thought it was a see you soon,
but part of me missed you already.  
I didn't know you wouldn't be there for my graduation, my wedding,
my life and all of the steps in whichever way I was heading.
I wanted you there, every inch of the way,
instead I have to imagine you, every single **** day.

I'm scared of missing anyone but you,
I'm scared the holes in my heart will just get bigger,
I'm scared the more people I miss the air that I breathe will just get thinner.
I'm scared the more people that leave, the more I will have to try,
and the less I will remember of you, still wishing you were nigh.

I want my brain to be bigger,
I want to keep every memory like they happened yesterday.
I want to bring back every piece of you and hide you like a stowaway.

I'm slowly forgetting you,
and as hard as I try, you just keep getting further and further
and further awry.

I've been in a car for the past three years,
watching you out the back window,
waving.
I remember our last hug.
I remember the day we left your house,
I thought it was a see you soon.
We've been slowly driving away for the past three years,
moving a tiny.bit.each.day.
The second I noticed you becoming smaller I started to panic,
I'm sitting here, manic,
watching you get smaller, and smaller, and smaller.
I'm just ******* sitting here.
I want to press the brake but it's broken,
I want to rip the keys out of the ignition but it's like they are super glued in.
I'm trying to open a door to jump out but there aren't any handles.
What kind of a door doesn't have any ******* handles?
I'm scratching at the door, screaming to get out,
hoping a god hears me,
praying that a god hears me shout.
I'm gasping for air between my pitiful attempts for help,
gasping for anything that remains of you.
Gasping,
hoping I can breathe the pieces left of you in and hold my breath until I pass out.
I'm pounding at the door.
My knuckles are bleeding but no pain is worse than that of slowly forgetting you.  
I'm trapped and the only thing I'm being told I can do is accept it.
Accept that you're gone.
"Accept it, and move on"
You left us, but every single day I feel like I'm leaving you.
It's like losing you all over again,
slowly forgetting you.

As my feet sunk into the mud,
I could feel spring coming,
Not just the season,
But a new beginning,
For all of us.

I kept the tiniest nook in my heart open for the idea you had changed from the caterpillar you were into the butterfly I knew you could be.
The eagle I saw soaring from your armslength exposed to the elements never holding you back but throwing you forward into the fire of the earth.
The fire that sparked a million and one reasons you could be better than you are.
I kept that space there for the instance you came back into my life without asking to prove to me you could be something more, something meaningful and something that grew in others growth.
That space was filled up with the black soot you collected from the sewers that housed you and have been housing you.
The rats have been your company, chewing at your arms I saw as wings, gnawing at your cocoon.
I hope one day you have the courage to turn into the smoke that shoots out of the grates in the middle of the road and stop traffic with how blinding your build is.
I hope you shine in the darkness of the underground and realize you don't belong there, soaking in the garbage and waste.
I will never be the branch you weave your nest on, or the seeds in your feeder, however I'll always be the invisible wind at your back and the silent whispers in your dreams at night.
We can never go back, but know I wish you well, that's all I've ever wished.

I would have waited for you
if you had said
something.
I would have waited for you
if you had said
anything
other than
nothing.

When you said forever
I told myself I'd never
Trust something I couldn't reach.

So when you left
I wasn't surprised
I was prepared for what history taught me to be.

Call me jaded
But you're the one who left
So maybe next time
don't prove me right.

Some nights you just have to spend alone with your thoughts.
Breathing them in and out.
Feeling them all come, and feeling them all go.
Sometimes it’s the easiest thing to do, and sometimes it’s the hardest.

Tonight it’s hard.
Tonight I can’t get you out of my mind.
Tonight I want to scream and hold my breath so long that your feeling will never leave me.
I know once I exhale, you will leave my body,
and slowly, I will forget what you felt like.

As each breath gets more pure, you will be washed away in the little air particles that float around my room.
You will make your way out of the door, and into the streets where you will fill the night sky with your wonder.
I will fall asleep in sadness just hoping,
that maybe when I wake up tomorrow,
I will step outside and the wind will have brought you back to me.

Maybe you will find a nice corner to wait,
and then one day, without me noticing,
You will re-enter my soul and I will feel life again.

I can only hope that as the time passes in between,
I grow numb to feeling the pain that this emptiness has caused.
So that I can feel like you never left me at all.
So that when I do breathe you in again, we can forget about the hurt and the pain that led me to walk away.
So that we can be in eternal bliss.
So that I never have to hold my breath again to try and keep you.
So that we can breathe the same air.
So that you can hold me and whisper sweet nothings into my ear.
I will be basking in your breath, in a sea of you.

I don’t even know how to swim,
but I’m not afraid of drowning.

I met you and we started playing,
I didn't care for games much,
but something about you,
wasn't like the others who had asked before.

I didn't ask the rules,
I blindly followed your lead.
I closed my eyes tight,
rolled the dice,
and took my steps.

Foolishly I didn't realize,
your eyes were wide open,
and whenever I would take one step,
you were ten steps behind.

I guess this is what I deserve,
for loving you like you were my prize,
when at the end of the day,
I was your pawn,
only used to get you closer to your Queen.

You were my demise.

Once you've had it, you know your life isn't and will never be the same and your entire being becomes a quest to find it again.
If mine entails running the country's length in the dessert,
starving, parched,
I would sprint the rest of my days,
for even the mere chance to
end up with you.

I** know it’s going to take another life for you to heal,
but I want you to know,
I like your broken soul.

Flowers surround my life.
Beautiful flowers.
So why can I only find beauty in the weeds?

I sat and listened
wondering if it was
the music,
the lyrics,
or you giving it to me,
that made it my favourite.
I can't recite a line or note,
so maybe that's my answer.

Sometimes I think I’m over you.
Then it’s 3am, I’m somewhere between awake and asleep and it hits me like a tonne of bricks followed by my insecurities laughing uncontrollably and I realize,
I’m not.

It’s funny because in the morning, I seem to forget,
slip into a blissful ignorance,
and go about my days.

But at some point,
3am will hit again, and being in that moment scares me more than you know.
More than I even knew.

My unmade bed reminds me of my unmade head before you left and now all I see are stars and reasons why I can instead of why I can't and what love truly means and why when I fell asleep last night I was happy to wake up and I noticed the beauty in my breathing and how I want to laugh forever. I stretched and felt the cold tile on my toes and it tickled and I wanted to dance to music I hadn't heard before strings and drums and guitars and maybe I could learn the guitar and I could play music for someone else that didn't end in tears from locked up fears instead that just ended in a long melody that never truly ended and just played in the background reminding you to smile. I saw colours I hadn't seen before blues reds bright whites luminescent lights shining so bright I had to blink one two three times to not see spots but I had my eyes open and for the first time I wasn't tired and I wanted to keep them open for as long as I could soaking in everything I couldn't see until now. The world looked so clear outside, I felt for the first time like I was real and someone somewhere could reach out and touch me. If this is life I get it now I get why writers write why birds fly and why bunnies hop and dogs bark and why the sun rises and the moon talks and why clouds look like the most comfortable space in the entire universe. I get why you had to break my heart. I was already broken my whole life before you, and only now I feel complete, after being shattered.

Maybe if you liked yourself a little less,
You could have liked me.

I'm smiling everyday,
There's a twinkle in my eye,
At least to the outside world,
I look fine.
No one sees
What happens when I close my eyes
Except for me
So I don't sleep
And I hope my bloodshot eyes
Don't give it away
And I hope they don't notice,
The muscles in my face start to tremble.
On the outside,
I hope I look fine.

other people can't fix
the hole inside my heart
because other people can't fix
what was broken from the start.

meeting
you was
waiting feeling
anxious and
nervous then
let down and
disappointed.

And all of a sudden he was gone,
or maybe,
he was never really there.

When did the monsters
Living in my bed
Become the monsters
Living in my head?

Sitting here
Biting my lip
Eyes glazed over
Half awake
I miss you