Homework piling up
Deadlines all right ahead
Overdue assignments needed
All I can feel is absolute dread

I have so much to do
Yet so little time
But you know what I'll do
I'll simply wait to the deadline

Let's write some poetry
Scroll through Facebook
Watch a movie
Maybe read a book?

Let's talk to friends
Play some games
Finally clean my room
Leaving my future in flames

I should get around to that
I should probably start
Oh hey look!
Here's my old works of art

Let's look through a photo album
Do some online shopping
Maybe I'll even bake some sweets
I'm showing no signs of stopping

I've got a SAC tomorrow
Exams are around the corner
How is it 3am already!?
I'm surely a goner

I'm so lost
What are we studying?
We had homework?
What does it all mean!!!

But after all these years
Countless days of procrastination
I still haven't learnt my lesson
Spending each day in complete frustration

I'll leave it all to the night before
Ah, I love throwing myself into a panic
Freak out, Cry and repeat
My mindset is satanic

Even right now
As I write this poem
Avoiding my priorities
My stress is forever ongoing

I should probably get onto that

Staring into the mirror
Thats reflecting a face
But a void of emotion
An empty space

A hand upon the glass
As if this is really me
I'm not at all convinced
These eyes are screaming a plea

From deep within
This empty shell
This smiling mask
My own personal hell

I remember happiness
That once shone so bright
No traces have been left
No evidence of that light

Gazing back
At this hopeless form
This helpless girl
Lost within the storm

This storm that was brewed
A creation of my own
To which I blatantly accepted
Within it my loneiless has grown

Cold stream running down
The edge of my cheeks
A ghostly pale complexion
My resistance is at its peak

Hold the cool metal to a wrist
Desperatly finding a vein
Looking back at this pitiful girl
Perfect eye contact is made

Shaking with fear
Inhaling a deep breath
The blood trickling down
This girl can finally be at rest

Mirrored within the reflection
A young girl looking back
A smile etched upon her face
She had finally made her crack

Reflection

I remember the days where we ruled the world
I remember the moment you first said hello
I remember the start and the soon coming end
And I watch how quickly my heart has becomes dead
The words and the sayings that once filled my mind
The broken pieces all starting to collide
The Once perfect boy that we all knew
Has fallen from his pedestal and has now become taboo
The scars in my soul will remain unseen
Until its finally time to que the final scene
Like fragments of a memory that just past us by
My love for you stands until I die.

Remember the sun as it blazed from above
Remember the stars as we talked about love
Remember the time when you stood up and said I am dying without her so I stayed in her stead
My chest grew tight as more time moved on
Always thinking about her and the things that you did
The treasured memories that I hold dear
Mean nothing to you, so I must shed a tear
Holding on tight like I have nothing to lose
I threw away everything to side by you
But why is it now that life has passed us by
That I stay here in silence as you live on just fine

Do you remember me running my fingers through your hair?
Do you remember me humming sweet tunes into your ear?
Do you remember me holding you gently in my arms as you cried about her and the things you did wrong
Drinking only dulls the pain
A temporary solution I would always explain
As I listened to your woes time and time again
I could surely feel my stomach filling up with dread
Slowly over time I became your number one
Only for that to falter as soon as she became undone
I loved you with my body soul and heart to rest
But why is there still a sinking feeling inside my chest.

I remember all the days that past us by
I remember all the simple things that made you cry
I remember all the nights that I lay awake, talking to you and making sure you were okay
The fun times, the dark times and all the in between
Nothing came between us until the later scene
A offer was made and you took your chance to run
Leaving me behind with nothing left but my love
Desperately clawing and trying to hold you close
Trying to express the words that I forever left unspoke

Sharp and Cold
Those glass like eyes
Once you fall under their gaze
There is no way to resist.

I run.

I always seem to run away.

I felt the urge rise up again,

I ******* my sneakers,

Started to stretch,

As I walked to the starting line, I realised.

This time, I want to be caught.

Screams of pain can't be heard in a storm
Nor tears of sadness within in the Rain

Like how writing poetry won't heal our broken hearts
Though they sure as hell prevent us from falling Apart

Slicing our wrists till we bleed and cry
Wont stop this Terrifying pain inside

Putting on a mask filled with beautiful creations
Even if everyone knows its merely an Illustration

Alcohol and spirits only dull our inner feelings
Its a temporary solutions that prevents us from healing

Hardening our shell and pushing people away
Only sets ourselves up to be Betrayed

Relying on drugs and substances unknown
Burdens us down to the very bone

Though we know that these things wont help
We desperately try everything in an attempt to save ourselves

Though some survive and others move on
There are still many fighting, struggling to stay Strong

And so whatever pushes you through the day
The good the bad or whatever comes your way

Get through till the dawn of the morning
That way we won't leave anyone behind Mourning

So through the screams in the storms and the tears in the rain
Just do your best to ignite your Flame

#

My heart beats to a rhythm only made for you,
A strung together ensemble, only made for your view
To a song so beautifully crafted, so delicate and sweet
The notes reverberating to an angelic feat

To your melody, your tune
Shining brightly as the moon
Sung from the first moments of light
till the lates hours of the night

My heart dances along to the song called you

Grace me with your presence
Hold me tightly in your hand
The sweetly tempered rhythm surrounds us
Flooding us with these feelings so grand

Let the music of our hearts guide us
Leading us through this dance of me and you
Without a moment of hesitation
This time we will see this through

Our heart synchronise in beat

~

I'm a fool who's rage is written on a page
Flickering with fire, fueled by a painful desire
Unruly and unjust it burns without control
Till its content with its remains of dark ash and coal
Seeking no shelter, though it must be contained
She screams as she cries trapped in a cage
Walls adoring her, only growing stronger with age
Dreading the knocking that echos so loud
Fumbling with the keys, throwing them to the ground
Huddling into one's self, as the world grows c o l d
Yearning for somebody who can allow her to be whole
As she kicks and she screams, pushing them away
It's difficult to get past this tremendous facade
That holds so well, ingrained into her being
Disregarding the world and others well-being
How heartless and cold
How selfish and bold
Pitiful you are
with that narcissist mask, you hold
Dance me another dance
Within that ballroom of yours
Filled with the most beautiful flowers
And those demons that taunt at all hours
Its cold deep within, even with fires set aflame
As she continues burning within her own stone-cold cage.

Here we are again,
Square one.


~

I talk too much or not at all
As I'm afraid to sound self-centered
Talking about my insecurities and woe
Just end up making me feel so low

I open my mouth and words pour out
Trying hard not to sound like a victim
But the more I explain, the more in vain
As the worry and fear grows heavier

Communication is key

I understand this to be true
But to capture the full extent
Of my mind at bay is difficult
As words barely make a dent

As I hold my tongue
And the voices they plague me
It's selfish to talk about my own
I fear you take my words as pleas

Framing myself as incapable
Needy and attention-seeking
I can't speak on behalf of my own
As these feelings keep creeping

All these words getting caught in my throat
Leaving me with poor explanations
And them with no ability to understand


~

Do you ever make a decision?
Something you regret
The moment you say it
As soon as those words pass through your lips
And they are free to all to hear

You Feel so stupid .

Full of Guilt
The person reacts
In a way you should have expected
But you were too naive to realize
Triggering everything they accomplished
Breaking it all down to shreds

You feel so stupid

You opened the flood gates
Everything that they locked up just broke
They are drowning
They can't see anything
All they feel is the water that surronds them

You feel so stupid

They don't care that you are at risk
All that is on their mind is that person
Revenge is all that they know
The water pressure is too strong
It silences your cries and screams
It drowns you out completely
There is nothing you can do

And you realize then and there
Just how stupid you are.

Hell is loving you in my sleep
Filling my dreams and mind with only you
Your very existence bringing me overwhelming happiness
Loving you with all my might
And when I finally have you in my arms
I'll wake up all alone.

Grasping my arms
Digging nails into my wrist
Feel the blood trickling down
Its warm... proof that I exist

Biting my lip
Its starting to turn white
Metallic taste lingers
I'm losing my light

Blade to my stomach
Its cold and smooth
To gain some control
I dont plan to leave so soon

Its something about
The blood that flows in my veins
Full of warmth and comfort
Its an odd sensation that keeps me sane

Under pressure and stress
Anxiety and depression
My self isolation adores me
Conjuring my regression

Though the world that is cold
That is scary and dark
This deep crimsons liquid
Staining my skin, leaving its mark

Reassuring me
That my heart still beats
That I'm alive and well
Even if the world is ever so bittersweet

I wonder if I'll ever know the answer
Will I ever find the unspoken words between the lines
Racing through the never ending days
Driving past all these glaring stop signs

Will I ever truly feel free?
Will my heart race and soul yearn?
Will it ever beat steady and strong?
Will it grow hotter and burn?

I wonder how long I have left?
Is my forever the here and now?
Is stability and contentment the goal?
Is this the final scene when I take a bow?

When did being healthy and happy grow so loud
Like a broken alarm clock refusing to switch off
Blaring and screaming unwaveringly proud.
Younger me would roll my eyes and scoff

Its as if I'm waiting for that other shoe
That supposed one thats meant to drop
The first is on the floor awaiting
The other held high at the top

Holding my breath and waiting.
Times passing, and I can't help but anticipate
The inevitable feeling of dread,
But maybe its all in my head.

They say love finds you
The moment you look away
But I dont believe that nonsense
Still I'll wait every single day

They say that true beauty
Cannot be seen
But I'll still sit here changing
Myself seam by seam

They say that friends
Will simple come and go
But that won't stop me
From refusing to let them go

They say that memories
They are the sweetest things
But they aren't as pleasant
As spreading your own wings

They say that life
Is what you make of it
To keep working till the end
We can't simply quit

Thats what they say
To you each and everyday
But the question is
What do you say?