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10.9k · Aug 2018
I'm scared
Nyx Aug 2018
I'm scared to see
What lies beyond these doors
The gate to my future
Whats in store?

I'm scared to let go
Of my high school freedom
Graduation is near
Times passing like the seasons

I'm scared to know
What reality has to offer
I'm not at all prepared
I'm like a lamb to the slaughter

I'm scared to find out
Which of my friends will stay
Who are the real ones
And which ones will fade

I'm scared to hold
All the power of my life
Making such a crucial choice
Cutting through me like a knife

I dont want to be scared
Of what I have now
I want to enjoy life
I'm not exactly sure how

I'll think about my future
And all that is to come
When reality comes knocking
By then I'll be done

Change will happen
Slowly throughout time
I'll take it as it comes
Dont stress in the meantime

I won't be scared.
3.8k · Jul 2018
I wish you luck
Nyx Jul 2018
I'll pay you a visit
Once a week
Don't worry about it
I'll be your relief

We can watch movies
Dance, sing without a care
We can act like the queens
Sassy and full of flare

We can bake cookies
Eat ice cream, Play a game or two
We can pig out on junk food
There is no need to feel so blue

This is your life
The pathway you have chosen
This is your future
Don't allow yourself to feel broken

You never liked them much anyway
The drama and those people
So dont allow your dreams to sway
When you feel isolated and alone

Stand up straight, Meditate
I know you can pull through
You are my best friend after all
There isn't anything you can't do.

So raise your head to the sky
Feel the nice cool breeze
This is the first step, its one of many
Its okay though just be at ease

Its a new world for both of us
One not many may choose
We may rarely see each other now
But you will still forever be my muse

Don't let loneliness swallow you whole
Don't fall down that rabbit hole
Because I will forever be around
Just do your best and reach your goal

Good luck my love
I wish you the best

- Your best Friend.
It will all work out eventually
I'm sure of it
Just do your best
2.9k · Mar 2018
A Girl that I know
Nyx Mar 2018

A girl that I know is brighter then the rest
She has golden highlights dyed into her hair
She's got pale blue eyes that reflect the world
And she's got a gorgeous smile that makes her glow

The girl that I know is quite small
She's around 5'3 which is like nothing at all
She likes to state that This way im closer to hell
But I laugh it off and it's all quite swell

The girl that I know is fairly easy going
She's quiet and sweet and somehow outgoing
She sarcastic, witty and a bit of a flirt
But in all honesty she is secretly hurt

She's got a few boys that she strings along for fun
But that's all platonic to all except one
It was her little secret, at least for awhile
Until her best friend told everyone within a mile

In a split instant the whole country knew
People knew her business and her reputation grew
People began to think that she was surely a ****
But you dont know her at all so keep your mouth shut

Her best friends a hypocrite and we all knew that well
Without realizing it, she had made her life hell
Telling her boyfriend everything is good and all
But there comes a certain point where there is a line to draw

This girl that I knew had no more secrets, none at all
As she told me this, her tears fell like a waterfall
how ******* dare she!
she's your best friend I exclaim
How could she do this, Has she no shame

The girl that I know isint like the stories
She's overreacts about little things and gets quite worried
she's bright, brave and fairly clever
She's a black belt, a sensei, she's so much better
She complains about her three buttons while everyone else has four  
And she talks about her life and about the simple things she adores
So how is it that people still call her a *****?

We go to the gym and then eat pizza instead
We watch barbie movies and fall asleep in her bed
We talk about life on an old rooftop
While eating buckets of ice cream till we have to stop

I know the girl better then she knows herself
I know the stories better then anyone else
I know the scars hidden deep within her eyes
And I know and have seen the tears that she has cried

So how can the world be so cruel?
When all that's she's done is just gone to school
She talked and became friends with some guys
So how can people create such lies?

All people think its their right to judge
But what right does it give you to hold such a grudge?
You say its just a joke everyone spread rumors
Let's me hear you say it again, when its your turn as the loser
So tell me then, is that to your humor?     .
2.8k · Dec 2018
Stubborn little prince
Nyx Dec 2018
Stubborn little prince
With his pride so high
I'm really not okay
With the fact that you lied

Lying through your teeth
Taking it to your grave
Thinking your the mastermind
Just shut up and behave

Enough with the act
Double edged sword
Two faces are far too many
Don't do it cause your bored

That's no excuse

Your wax wings are melting
Due to all the things you've done
I'm friends with an icarus it seems
He's flown to close to the sun

You're falling again

Failing to see what's happening
Ignoring all warnings
He'll fall down very soon
He won't see the next morning

I won't be there to catch you

Go on keep talking
As you think your quite sly
You are beginning to **** me off
You should know exactly why

Your words don't match up
Nor do your actions it seems
What is your game?
Do tell me by all means

Though I don't think it'll matter
As my minds set in stone
Continue playing your game
Wouldn't want your motives to be shown

Don't fly too high
Stubborn little prince



-
2.6k · Aug 2018
You told me
Nyx Aug 2018

You told me
Take my hand
Close my eyes and jump
Taking a leap of pure faith
Landing with a gentle thump

You told me
I'll teach you how to fly
Soaring high above the clouds
Far away from this little town
To a place you can stand proud

You told me
I will love you forever
Building a life of just us two
A fabricated lie so sweet
But from the beginning I always knew

You told me
Trust in me
I would never betray you
Oh how I wish those words were true
I held such hope but you never seemed to come through

You told me
I will give you the world
Every single piece of you too
But clearly the world you speak of
Is a creation of pure taboo

You promised me
So very many things
But all I ever wanted
Was to spread my own wings

I wanted to fly
With you by my side
Just as you promised
But its okay that you lied

You gave me hope
Where all seemed dim
You were my light
No matter how grim

And so I told you
Goodbye my friend
Through a roaring storm
Casting away the skies
This is where our tragic love
Dies.
2.1k · Sep 2018
That Smile Drenched in Honey
Nyx Sep 2018
That smile of his
Held the beauty of the world
It was ever so charming and undeniably sweet
Entrancing all those who lay eyes upon it
There was a time where I once imaged
I could even sell my soul if need be
Whenever I saw his precious smile

Then I came to see
The true colours behind that smile
Twas like a poisonous flower
Blooming and vibrant
Luring in its fragile prey
Bewitching it within its spell
Intoxicated by the nectar
Unable to ever leave

Upon revealing the truth
That lay so evidently to preying eyes
He had already long abandoned me
leaving nothing but a memory of what was
And a forever lingering taste of honey
A sweetness upon my tongue

Though it is best to end this longing
This yearning for that man
Who's smile warmed my heart
halting my breath but for a moment
As if encased within a time
When my entire world was composed of
Only him and that devious smile













Yet my mind refuses to forget....


.
2.0k · Jul 2018
Lil Ravioli boy
Nyx Jul 2018

Piercing blue eyes
As though you can see the truth
A wide boyish smile
Barely at the prime of youth

Brown freckles that cover your face
I could trace the constellation
A void of stars coating the night sky
Creating whats deemed a wonderful sensation

On your 18th birthday
A year away from now
We shall cook ravioli together
You said you would teach me how

You wear fingerless gloves
Each and everyday
They double up as mittens
"I love them"
I would always say

Warm and cozy
Far to large for my hands
But they fit yours perfectly
Then again they are made for a man's

I'll still call you Smol boy
Even though you tower over me
I'm sure your use to it by now
After all I'm pretty crazy

Pure black coffee
With no sugar at all
A little bit of milk though
8-10 teaspoons if I recall

Too bitter for my liking
I'll have enough sugar for the both of us


You're an insomniac
Barely 2-3 hours a night
Its quite concerning
But you say your alright

I know your a lil over the edge
you're a fair bit mental
But your a dear friend of mine now
I'm sure you're actually quite gentle

I'll support you still
Even though I've barely skimmed the surface
There is still much more to uncover
And sure I'm a little nervous

Even maybe a little scared
But you're my Lil ravioli boy
So there is no reason to fear
Try not to be coy

I'll be there for all your sketchy antics
And all the mental breakdowns
And I hope you will be there for me
When my heart occasionally hits the ground

Though whatever happened through this
All the highs and the lows
I'll stand by you through it
No matter how steep the road

Lil Ravioli Boy
2.0k · Nov 2018
It's been awhile...
Nyx Nov 2018
It's been awhile since you've crossed my mind
Since I felt those memories and our lives entwined
Our film playing silently in the back
While our lives continue swiftly, steadily on track

And it's been awhile since I've heard your voice
That obnoxious laugh and those playful jokes
Your music that you so passionately create
Those songs you wrote, beautifully defined fate

And that smile of yours that gleamed like the sun
Paired with deep blue eyes like the raging rivers that run
Those dark brown locks that curled ever so slightly around
And for a moment everything ceases to make a sound

It's been awhile since I walked down our path
Since I entered those classrooms, since we were those outcasts
I haven't listened to our songs or read through our texts
I haven't talked about you or gone to such depths

As I remember more then anything they said
I knew you like non of them ever would
Define toxic, manipulative and wrong
But even if it's so, you're still my favourite song

And I loved you my dear, with a sincerest heart
But from the very beginning it was destine to fall apart
I miss you, and everything that we were
Even if now that period of contentment is only a b l u r

We talked for awhile, only moments ago
And it was as if for a second, time would slow
We talked about your girlfriend and for that I'm truly happy
I'm glad you found somebody perfect for you I say
As I attempt not to be too sappy

No matter the past, present and future
I'm glad you were a key part of my life
You gave me the world even if it were just a night
As in a world that is dark you were my light
And for that I'm eternally grateful

It's been awhile
Even so
I still love you all the same



~
Out of the entire world I live in
You were truly one of the only people I ever loved
And for that all I have to say is
Thank you, for being such an important person in my life
Nyx Oct 2018
Photographs of naked bodies
Positioned across a bed
Seducing one other
By the gleam in our eyes
Dressed with the desirable color of red
Our lips dripping with pure lust
Forever but a mere inch away
Eternally unreachable
As pretend is what we like to play
Trace the outline of my body
Feel the softness of my skin
Dine upon the devils wishes
Give in to this lustful sin
Embrace the coldness of the night
Be intoxicated by our heat
Eyes glazed over from this dream
Slowly lose your willingness to fight
Taste the sweetness upon your tongue
Allow us to quench your thirst
But once you taste heaven gates
You will eternally be cursed
Drunken off the beating sound
Of our hearts within perfect synch
Pleasure induced by feeling Pain
Holding on tighter to that chain
Bruises and bite marks
Littering the skin
Relinquish your demons
Fall captive to that sinners grin
Harsh whispers in the dark
Lips pressed against your neck
Tempt me with such sins
my darling

My dear the night has only begun
Decipher what you truly want
As it seems our game of play is done
Both lost within an ecstatic dream
It appears that neither of us have won
Dirtied souls are all that are left
Without meaning or for reason
What have we done?
an echoing question
The devil replies with a taunting voice
My darling you have become undone
With a sly grin he walks away
Eroding into the dark of night
While the tainted souls
Together with their hands holding tight
A game that they were destined to lose
We have danced with the devil tonight
And it appears he has won.



~
It was a late night and the words were just coming to mind
So I ended up stringing this odd piece together
1.9k · Sep 2018
Don't be fooled by her.....
Nyx Sep 2018

Don't be fooled

By the smile that seems graced by the sun
The aurora around her glow with radiance and flare
Behind it she hides lies that will send you on the run
She's cunning, malevolent and bitter
She will not be outdone

Don't be fooled

She's warm and kind
Loving and affectionate
She walks on broken glass
Till her feet begin to bleed
She'll hold back the tears as the pain kicks in
But look within her eyes and they are as deadly as sin

Don't be fooled

She plays games with your mind
What's the truth? What's the lie?
Nobody knows the reality
As she is especially sly
Is she putting on an act
Await those to fall in
Or she simple alone
Faking that diabolical grin

Don't be fooled

Her reality is different from you and I
Mind a scatter, broke pieces they lay
Destroyed by self or others
We'll never know
As this place is secured away
Like the land underneath the snow

Don't be fooled

Warm hands and cold hearts
Wreak havoc together
Destined to heal others while tearing them apart
love her, hate her and everything inbetween
She will find your stitching and undo each and every seam

Don't be fooled

Each line holds some truths and fair few lies
But the talent of distinguish which is which
I've seen many people who have tried
The truth is that not even she knows herself
So how is it possible for anybody else to know her true self

Don't be fooled

I can hear her voice quietly
whispers falling to deaf ears
You are a fool
but there is nobody here
1.4k · Aug 2018
Time heals all
Nyx Aug 2018
Time heals all
That we know is true
But its also has been found
That it doesn't heal all wounds

Some may be buried deeply
Hidden within our minds
Forced upon smiling faces
While people secretly die inside

Some have been printed
Like a brand upon our skin
Stained and burnt
Stopping us from letting people in

Some are renewed
On a day to day basis
Fresh cuts and bruises
Covering hands and faces

We hurt, We cry
Feeling helpless and gone
But some feel in control
The longer the act goes on

These wounds that litter us
Forced upon or not
They don't define who we are
Its proof that we fought

We fought a battle within ourselves
It was near impossible to defeat
But look at us now
We are still standing tall on our feet

And for most the fight
It'll be forever ongoing
I can't say when it will end
Its scary not knowing

But as long as we push through
Make it to the end of each day
We will eventually find peace
And our lives will no longer be grey

If time heals all
That all we have to do is wait
Because when the time comes
That will surely be our fate

Until then
Fight.
1.3k · Dec 2018
It's Simple
Nyx Dec 2018
-

I like you

-
Nothing more and nothing less
1.3k · Mar 2018
Perfect Girl
Nyx Mar 2018

The Perfect Girl
As most would describe her
Quite, sweet a lovely delight
but be weary boys the perfect girl bites

Short brown hair
with a strange splash of colour
Light blue eyes
that couldn't get any duller

The girl was once pure
An absolute saint
she went to church weekly
Till he covered her with a fresh coat of paint

Warm cardigans and jeans
that was her fashion
until the boy on the pedestal
came into her life crashing  

A girl so perfect
was doomed from the start
She fell instantly for him
but he had no heart

Changing her style
and the way that she looked
trying to gain his attention
and surely he was hooked  

Low cut shirts
and extremely short shorts
forgetting her bra
and fixing her looks
dropping her grades
and breaking the rules
she became a new girl
but her reputation stood

She was just another game
but only at the start
For somehow pedestal boy
had suddenly grown a heart

A relationship grew
and they both were obsessed
A static connection
that was somehow messed

The tables had turned
and so had her heart
Perfect girl made a choice
Lets be apart.
1.2k · Mar 2019
Troublemaker
Nyx Mar 2019
We use to wreak havoc together
At a small little school
With characters and phrases
Making the teacher look like a tool

Our Chinese school was hell
But ever Saturday we still went
Our partnership was one of destruction
Causing even the principal to vent

We sat at the back of the class
While all the proper students sat at the front
Determination in their eyes
Asian tiger parents forcing them to survive

While ours were much the same
Except a little more lenient
We passed everything so good enough
Our ways more devious

A team effort it was
We all passed with flying colours
Not without full blow hatred from others
Though we weren't bothered

And years have past us by
No longer do we speak
At most we have a snap record
But we only ever sent streaks

Though your basic asian look
closely matching with mine
except for you being a guy
and having black pitched eyes

We were close once before
We were a childish endeavour
Now reduced to nothing
Without a single word ever

And write as I will
About that old forgotten letter
and the missing you with my heart
but I can't get any better

As my will to talk to you is broke
I'm scared of the words I once spoke
With the shattered picture frame on the floor
I dare not defy those laws

Until you flash by my life again
For a moment, for a single memory or sight
I'll remember you in my heart
As meaningless as that is
For you will never know

I'll miss you forever
My little Troublemaker
Be happy and stay safe
- T
1.2k · Sep 2018
Good and Bad people
Nyx Sep 2018
They say that good people
Are meant to stay away from people who are "bad"
They learn that their pity towards those people get them nowhere
They come to know that they should push those who are bad away
Those people who are outcasts, Who are loners
The players, delinquents and rebels
The people who spit venom when approached
That talk or dress in a particular way, who have this "look"
That say hateful things, and do things that hurt others
Destroying every piece of happiness that dares enter their lives
The 'Good' learn to avoid these types of people
and many times its for good reason

Though I believe that there is a reason behind every action
When a person is driven to hurt others
its because somebody has hurt them too
Those people who seem cold and push people away
Those people that say hateful things in a spur of a moment
The people who act in irregular ways from a 'normal' person
Its to those people that we should be kind
Though through your kindness you must be sincere
As merely fake kindness will only hurt them more

I believe that the people who do bad things
They know what they doing is wrong
But I believe that there is a reasoning behind them
That many people don't seem to want to understand
Its something that they don't want to see
As much as those people don't want to believe that people can be truly kind
Forcing themselves to believe that the world is truly so cold and cruel
And that there is not a trace of anything beautiful

Be kind to them
please,

Sincerely An outsider
I'm not too sure where I was going with this one
I just had the thought on my mind and wanted to get it out
Apologies if it doesn't make much sense ahah
1.2k · Jul 2018
The best night of my life
Nyx Jul 2018
White dresses of purity
Gently gracing the floor
The couples sway gracefully
As the crowds adore

The families and friends
Filling the whole room with glee
Their stare with amazement
With pride and esprit

The lights shining down
So softly and bright
We all knew then
This would be a splendid night

As the final dance commenced
And they stared into each others eyes
Smiles and grins filled their faces
These smiles of happiness told no lies

The song came to an end
And the dancers parted, reluctantly
The audience running wild
Cheering and laughing, exultantly

Rushing to my friends
Giving each a warm embrace
Showering them with praises
You could see the enthusiasm on their faces

All of us were dressed up
Everybody has cleaned up real nice
Dresses and tucks adored us
A sweet slice of paradise

Taking a million photos
To remember this very night
We took the dance floor by storm
As we were all filled with such delight

If only this night would never end
And we could all remain this happy
Reality seemed to melt away
It was just us

The friends, the music
The connection we all had
For a moment our hearts all beat as one
Not a moment did we feel sad

But things like this can't last forever
Like a firework upon the night
Beautiful and filled with color
But then the spark fades out of sight

But not without burning a memory
So vividly into our minds
We enjoyed ourselves within the moment
In that instant we could all unwind

Thank you to the people I love
For inviting me to such a night
As I had such a wonderful time
It was one of the best nights of my life
One of the best nights I've ever had
1.2k · Dec 2018
Silent E
Nyx Dec 2018
Silent little boy
With those piercing blue eyes
Gorgeous and vibrant
As if I'm staring at the sky's

Dark brown locks
Curly and now dyed black
For a cosplay of kaneki ken
Now that was a throw back

Tall and lanky
Like most of my friends
The new student of the year
Fresh from New Zealand

Though you're longing to go home
As this place isint really your style
Homesickness I would call it
You've been feeling it for awhile

And to a girl you caught feelings
One that used you as a past time
While the other was genuine
Until she changed her mind

Silent around most people
But we have some good conversation
Sheep go meow I say with a smirk
You're a problem you say
While laughing at your declaration

You don't drink carbonated drinks
As you hate the bubbly fuzz
Its quite strange I think
Cause everybody else kinda does

And you're a good kid I reckon
Though you need to voice yourself more
As you dont allow people to know you
And so they think you a bore

But I know there's something more
Then the silence and those stares
As you can laugh and smile with me
I can feel that you truly care

But I won't fault you for your choices
Cause you may not want people around
But at least for another year
You're stuck on Australian ground

So make the most of your stay my boy
Have fun and open up a little
As you've done with me
that way everybody can see

That you're a good kid
Just a tad anti social
Thats why I call you
Silent E
E short for Ethan
Idk why it kinda just stuck
1.2k · Aug 2018
Who do you love?
Nyx Aug 2018

You once asked me

Why won't you tell me who you loved?

I responded gently
As if speaking to a child

When you love somebody
So closely and dear
Its a moment in your heart
Where your mind becomes clear
Painted so vividly within your thoughts
The ones that you love stands bright and tall

The moments we spend together
They were special
Nobody knows about it
The more people who know
The less special it becomes


I smiled to myself
As I dazed off about that time
To which you countered with

How do you know if he felt the same?

Silence filled the air
As I thought for a moment

Quite frankly I dont know
I have no solid proof
It was unspoken between us
It was a breif time of our youth


Then why is it so special?

Because I loved him
No matter if those feelings
Were returned or not


1.2k · Oct 2018
Play and Repeat
Nyx Oct 2018
Take my heart
Break it in two
Crumble it to pieces
Its okay I want you too

Tell me pretty lies
Syrup dipped candy
You're words have such sweetness
Keep on drinking that brandy

Beat around the bush
Play you're little games
Run wild and free
Be sure to fasten my chains

Kiss that other girl
Play me like an upright base
Feed me those excuses
Let the tears pour down my face

Allow me to feel the love
Thats as plastic as that grin
False sense of security
Call it my original sin

Take another trophy
Place it upon your shelf
Right next to the rest of them
I'm sure your proud of yourself

Throw me away once at the end
Once you've had your fill
Just like the rest of them
I'll tumble downhill

I'll cry out my heart
Desperately want you back
But just like the rest of them
I was just another past time snack

I'm stupid I know
But hit play
I'm stuck on repeat







Help me.....


~
1.1k · Oct 2018
Don't Touch the Artwork
Nyx Oct 2018
Admire her
From behind the glass
Look on closely
She's holding her mask

Don't step to close
You mustn't touch the exhibit
She may break into pieces
As she is fragile and timid

Look upon her
With starry filled eyes
That innocent and purity
Its that trust which causes her cries

See the elegantly placed roses
Vines that surround her skin
Peer a little bit closer
The thorns are piercing in

She smiles so beautifully
Its gentle and bright
Its a wonder why her eyes
Hold such little light

Take a step back
You're in far too close
You're scaring her away
And there she goes

Back into her shell
Made of mirrored crystal glass
Look upon the surface and see
Your true self reflected
Try not to be brass

You will only see yourself
The longer you stare
And soon you'll believe
That's the only thing there

Hidden away
Behind the illusions of the mind
Its tucked away safely
Within her own elaborate design

Her own personal prison
Eternally trapped
Within an art gallery of foes
What secrets are hidden underneath that mask?
Unfortunately not even the artist seems to knows

Dont touch the Artwork




~
1.1k · Nov 2018
Caged Bird
Nyx Nov 2018
I've lost my sense of happiness
I've lost my point in life
As I stare upon my phone screen
Not a single message lights
And I cry and I cry
Dont stop me
From attempting to fill this void
I smile and I smile
Dont fault me
For letting myself be destroyed
I'm alone right now
Watching it all pass me by
As people change and move on
I stand idoly to the side
Its tearing me apart
Demon clawing at my soul
Dragging me down into the abyss
Buried deep below
These chains tightening
Its harder to breath
Don't try and save me
Its pointless as I have the key
Its comforting these shackles
As at least I have a place I belong
When the world around give me no purpose
Its me that has to somehow live on
Even when all the friends I have leave
And I've been beaten and deceived
I've always been alone
There is no one I can trust
A mere passing fancy blinded by lust
And it appears to me I've grown too reliant
On the birds that perch upon my window
Keeping me company but only for awhile
Before flying away back into the sky
Where they belong
Unlike the caged bird with her wings clipped off
Singing softly to those who listen
while the owner merely sits back and watch
In the cage she is happy
As she knows no other life
Unlike the free birds
Who know how to fly
Nyx Aug 2018
I would like to write a poem
Just to scare you so
Cause you said you were weary
Of the poems that we sow

You're afraid of being immortalized
Within the scriptures that we write
You're afraid of the things we'll say
Scared it will leave a nasty bite

The words that we pour out
Are the retellings of our soul
The life that we have created
Our personal bible that makes us whole

You're slightly disturbed that we write
But also partially flattered
Though you would prefer to be left out
In case we leave you in tatters

You told me as you read through
A poem about yourself
"I have to be weary of what I say"
Relax, dont get too full of yourself

We write from the heart
unleashing monsters of all Kinds
Through we gain a sense of control
Control of the insanity of ones mind

Through poems of endless words
Letters strung together by string
A silver tongue out to express
A mind field of eternal sins

Beautiful phases of our love
Cut out from our still beating hearts
Each poem carefully crafted
As the world begins tearing us apart

Dont fault us for our creations
For this is our escape
eternalized within this site
Filling our voids
Its the Perfect shape
C.H
Its kinda hypocritical considering I did write a poem about a Convo we had
1.1k · Mar 2019
The Morrow
Nyx Mar 2019
My heart pounds eagerly
Awaiting the outcomes of the morrow
What is awaiting me
Love, hatred or sorrow?

Fear and anticipation
All wrapped into one
Securely tied with a ribbon
Now we wait for the sun

Marching on to the time
Allowing fate to lead the way
My heartbeat is all I can hear
Let's see what's awaiting me today.
952 · Oct 2018
Mr Whiteside
Nyx Oct 2018
~

Nobody Loves me
Nobody really cares


But I do my darling
Just take a look into my eyes
I've been through hell and back with you
Together we have touched the skies

From the beginning to the end
We've seen each other through it
The lies and deceit, heart stopping truths
Where others would have split
We made it through our youth

When we first met you were smol
Barely even my height
A friendship made through stripper jokes
And you being my favourite white

Casual racism erupted
A classic joke among our friends
During a time where we were once happy
Innocent even, before that bitter end

Slowly you grew taller
Quite frankly you have changed
No longer that touchy goofball
Reasoning for that we leave unexplained

Though I still love you dearly
No matter what kind of person you become
Even if you turned into a vile beast
I would still act like your mum

From your oddly perfectly shaped eyebrows
Those glistening endless voids you call your eyes
Hair roughly pushed to the side
Matched with a cheeky grin that people seem to idolise

3 Years I would say its been
Though clearly its the wrong number
Knowing all about your weird life
Sharing memories from past summers

An ungodly collection of hats
littered throughout your room
The ugly ones shoved above the closet
That black one with green splats I presume

We went to that amazing concert together
Rocking it out within the mosh pit
I'll never forget that amazing day
As we reconnected even if it was just a bit

Your escape through street fighting
A dark time for both of us I remember
But it looks like we stuck it out
We made it past that December

Even if we wanted to end it all
The depression still hitting us in waves
The relaps of that fateful period
Still echoes within my brain

But like I've said once
And will say a million times over
I love you my dear boy
Even if you feel like a complete loner

I'll continue holding my hand out
Incase you slip and fall
Even if you don't need it
Just don't forget its there is all


I want you to know
I love you
Remember that Riy



~
Cheer up darl
I'll always be here for you
As you were one of the first
And forever one of the special people in my life
Love you
926 · May 2018
Best way to die
Nyx May 2018
Hey Mr, Could you tell me
Whats the best way to die?
There are so many different reasons
I don't know which one to try

Should I, Slit my wrists in a vertical direction
Watch the blood drip down, As a desperate need for affection
The blood draining from my body to surround me in a crimson red, would I finally then feel happiness spread

Should I, Overdose on drugs? Illegal or Prescription?
Feel the nausea and vomiting decay my body, As nobody ever listened.

Should I, Drown myself in the bathtub? Or the pool to make it public
The crushing pressure of my lungs collapsing, As if i am absolutely nothing. A burning feeling will spread through my chest as if I am to burst
But dont look down into the depth cause surely you'll feel worse

Should I, Step onto the highway? With all the cars at top speed
Allow the pain of my bones breaking, As I only wanted to be needed
The impact could still render me alive, But in a world of agonising pain, then everything I had done will surely be in vain

Should I, Light myself on fire? Or torch me and my home
Let the searing flesh melt off of me, As I was always left alone
They will hear my screams for miles to come, but know that it was me
As my charred corpse will remain, forever left unseen

Should I, Hang myself in the closet? Let my mother find me dead
Feel the tightening rope cut short my breath, As nobody heard what I said. My limp blue body will dangle down with a note left by my bed

Should I, Jump off a high building? A tall place with strong winds
For a moment I can fly away, before I splatter across the ground leaving nothing but my outline and some red

Should I, Shoot myself in the head? Allow myself to pull the trigger
A gunshot will echo, I'll fall to the ground, Then I would finally be dead.
I wouldn't feel a single thing just the hurt of those before me
It would be instant and over in a second, that way their tears wont bore me

So Mr, Could you tell me
The best way that I can die?
You've played this game before
So hurry there is no need to lie

Hey Mr,
Its not like you actually care
Whether I personally live or die
So hurry up and tell me
As he's waiting for me in the afterlife
What is the best way to die?
910 · Aug 2018
On the pole
Nyx Aug 2018
On the pole
I dance
Wild and free
Doing flips
And tricks
For all to see

On the pole
I forget
The harsh reality
Embraced in music
I can truly be
Carefree

On the pole
I can pretend
To be anybody at all
Elegantly entwined
Both body and soul
This Persona of mine
Who's not afraid to fall

On the pole
I dance
My wildest dreams
Feeling the lyrics
Of a song
Synching my Heart
To each beat

On the pole
I Dance
Within a room
Filled by stars
Gleaming with light
Portraying the beauty
Of the night

On the Ground
I land
Perfectly safe and sound
No applause but silence
Littered all around
Looking into the mirror
I'm standing there proud
There's nobody but me
Outterly spellbound

On the pole

#
I've started pole dancing just for fun
There's a beautiful room thats glowing with fairy Lights!
Anyway I just feel so happy and free dancing now
So I decided to write bout it
895 · May 2018
We are Terrifying Monsters
Nyx May 2018

Hold your tongue
Don't make a scene
You don't want to lose it
Keep your record clean
I want you to watch
Merely observe
What is it you see?
Is this what they deserve
These fleeting creatures
You call them friends
Yet you hesitate to trust them
You won't let them understand
Don't let them in
For they will see
The insecure monster
That you've made yourself out to be
S t o p.
Right there
You almost let it slip
Silence your voice
Hush now
You must get a Grip
They are just going to hurt you
Like the ones that fell before
no matter how kind
Darkness is hidden in their core
Much like the rest
We are terrifying monsters
But unlike the rest
We fear ourselves so much more.
Tbh idk where i was going with this
884 · Mar 2018
Eh
Nyx Mar 2018
Eh
The warmth spreads across my body like a feverish dream
Leaning into my chest, laying there
Her head upon my shoulder
Silently day dreaming
The slow, gentle rise and fall of her breath
Earphones in as we sit and await
The bus traveling to our final destination
attempting not to be late
My tired eyes glance to the girl by side
Her worn black shoes
Her pale pink socks, dyed from the past wash
Lightly Tanned legs leading up to the navy blue dress
Her matching year 12 jacket resting gentle on her chest
Her short golden and brown locks fall gracefully in front of her glowing blue eyes
A tired look adoring her face as she thinks of the day to come
Clutching onto my arm
That lay over here own shoulder
I wonder what will happen to us when we get so much older
Will the peaceful days of silence be as they are now?
Or will there be heavy conflict that will bring us so much closer?
Will there come a time where we both become loners?
A thought of a moment, a life we have lived up till now
Just close your eyes tight, We can think about it when the days over.
Just random thoughts about my best friend as we were on the bus one morning
868 · Sep 2018
Unable to resist
Nyx Sep 2018
Why now?
Out all these months, All this time
Why is it now that you think its okay to jump back into my life?
You vanish, I cut off everything for you
I left my heart behind in the dirt
I buried my love six feet underground
To forget you, like you forgot me
But here you are again
Acting as if nothing has changed
My phone gleaming with your messages
And I respond to you in a heartbeat
I have no self control
You're stirring up a storm
Though you don't know the effect
This intoxicating feeling you give to me
With a single word or a call
It sends my heart into flutters
I love you
No, I did love you
I need to stop this now

I can't fall back in again not after everything
Not after what I went through to get out
It hurts too much to try again
but everything about you draws me in
Your striking blue eyes that seem to mirror the sky
Long wavy hair, in a Carmel brown
Soft to the touch, gently running through my fingers
It sends a shiver down my spin to think
But its forbidden to return to that place
To that state of mind and time
We removed that memory
Along with our existence
So why is it now
Why now have you come back?


Please don't come back
because I am still
Unable to Resist

#
Nyx Aug 2019
It’s the way she talks, the way she walks
It’s how her hair flows in the wind
There are so many things I don’t know where to begin

Her smile, saying it’ll be worth while
Her eyes that glisten with mischief
Her body and curves
It’s how she acts that gets on my nerves

And of all the people of the world
You are the one I fear the most
I’m so afraid you will take everything
Then unconsciously you’ll boast

It riddles me with fear
You spark a harsh light in my heart
Pitting holes within my stomach
Tearing me apart

And all because I’m jealous
Jealous of only you in this world
And whenever I look at you I think
I’ll never be enough

Poem after poem I write
Trying to extinguish this fright
But my insecurities keep me company
You set me on fire with your “light”

I’ll never get over this complex
This deep rooted thing of you
Feeling Inferior and worthless
No matter how many say it’s not true

Because thinking of it always makes me feel blue
All on top with the fact that I’m losing you

What a pitiful mess
Just lay me to rest.



-
I’ll never measure up to her
No matter how hard I try
All I do is meaningless
When in a moment she can ****** it away
Just like all the rest, over and over again
and the more she takes the more I break
Until I simply can't handle it anymore
Nyx Sep 2018
Grasping my arms
Digging nails into my wrist
Feel the blood trickling down
Its warm... proof that I exist

Biting my lip
Its starting to turn white
Metallic taste lingers
I'm losing my light

Blade to my stomach
Its cold and smooth
To gain some control
I dont plan to leave so soon

Its something about
The blood that flows in my veins
Full of warmth and comfort
Its an odd sensation that keeps me sane

Under pressure and stress
Anxiety and depression
My self isolation adores me
Conjuring my regression

Though the world that is cold
That is scary and dark
This deep crimsons liquid
Staining my skin, leaving its mark

Reassuring me
That my heart still beats
That I'm alive and well
Even if the world is ever so bittersweet
776 · Dec 2018
He understood
Nyx Dec 2018
In the silence of the night
Through a few words uttered out
He somehow unveiled everything
Understood everything without doubt

With his head on my shoulder
Concern and sincerity in his voice
How could he know everything?
Should I be fearful or rejoice?

And how I wish to hear his words
Granting me comfort and safety
At last one understood me
Even if we haven't spoken lately

How can he be so kind
Even when he's broken to the core
Where insecurities creep and self deprivation roars

Yet he's so precious and perfect
In his own special way
He deserves the world
Though his happiness refuses to stay

Oh how I wish I could help him
In the ways he helped me
To find comfort in my presence
And to set his mind free
751 · May 2018
It was only a movie
Nyx May 2018

A room of pure darkness
Lit only by the silver screen
Rows of people sit
All watching the same scene

In the final row we sat
A boy to my right
A Girl to my left
holding my hands tight

The movie begins, all at the edge of our seats
As the movie proceeds, Our happiness deceased
As we reach the end, With the conclusion drawing near
We all sit there shocked, Completely in tears

Our hands tightening, As another disappears
Sweat forming between our palms, As we feel more fear
Knees tucked up tight, You look like an idiot
A sobbing mess you were, But to you this was serious

Your hand covering your mouth, As the salty streams run down your cheeks
Attempting to hold back the sobs that were echoing throughout the cinema
The front few rows all turning around to look, You could hear them giggling
The most heartbreaking scene, Their amused stares were belittling

When the credits begin to roll, You were still shaken up
I also teared up, But I wasn't nearly as bad as you
Rubbing your back to sooth you, To help you relax
While laughing at you, Because you cried to the max

Giving you a hug, You buried your head into my shoulder
This was really quite amusing, As you were so much older
You then throwing a fit, yelling
How can the film makers do this!
At this point we were all laughing at you
Calm down
It was only a movie
Went to see infinity war and by the end of it my friend was gripping my hand and full on sobbing, He was so upset by the ending.
As sad as it was, Just remembering his reaction makes me laugh
Nyx Aug 2018
I like to play myself
Pretend that I'm evil
Create a whole facade
Cunning and lethal

I like to pretend I'm somebody else
A cold manipulative snake
Armed with fatal venom
Conjuring up much heartache

I like to throw myself in harms way
To achieve somebody else goal
A weapon of mass destruction
Its as if I have no soul

I like to act as the fuel to hatred
Target of their raging fury
Vent and break me with all your might
Tho I warn you the end is quite unsavoury

I like to be the victim of the blame
Go on and paint me as the villain
Justify your actions controlled by pain
That way it won't all be in vain

I like to be the madman behind the mess
The *****, Mastermind, The Monster
Where sins of others pale in comparison
Allowing them to feel far more arrogant

let them be excused for their actions
Which cause them such pains
Allow them to rest at last
Without those heavy chains

By allowing them to believe
That everything was truly my fault
It allows them to sleep peacefully
Securing their truths within a vault

I like to take responsibility of their actions
Pity them and follow them
Become their true friend
All while hating me to the bitter end

They need support more then I
So blame me instead
Don't show me such sorrow filled eyes
I would rather off be dead

I like to play the villain
To lighten their burdens of guilt
I'm a mean selfish witch
No different from a common *****

By taking pleasure out of such things
That are so incredibly vile
maybe I am the one who needs help
every once in awhile

Maybe I am truly evil
Its not an act


#
Nyx Sep 2018
The bushland calls
Of my childhood dreams
Amongst the wild
My soul it, sings

The gentle breeze
light upon the skin
Sun upon my face
it welcomes me in

To the lands of summers
Though now long gone

Memories of the heats haze
With a white juvenile horse
Within a closed off field it lay
But young and free it was born

Birds flying high above
Shielding the rays of the sky
Perfectly clear a crystal bright blue
Not a single cloud in sight

Fields filled with nothing
But the dirt beneath our feet
Dull patches of green and yellow
Amongst cattle it feeds

A rooster it crows loud
The chooks begin to run
As bruce, a little staffy
Chases them about

Work shed full of tools
Covered by a rusted tin roof
Parked beside it old barrols
And a broken down ute

Stone walls of the house
To keep it cool inside
Spread across the cold floors
A reddish brown cowhide

Worn down leather couch
Out upon the front porch
An eski filled with stubbies
Where the boys had their "talks"

I feel the memories flooding back
This peacefulness, this sense of home
Hours pass by within seconds
Losing myself in the zone

My footsteps have long faded with time
As has my name once carved upon the gumtrees
The white stallion no longer grazes near by
Nor do the same cattle dwell in that field

Worn down by time and way of the land
Though I do intend to return again
To share the beauty of this place
Drawn back by the old fate

The day melts away like the snow
And I hear my parent calling my name
This place will forever be my second home
Because I know here, I'll never be alone
Barmah
The only place I can feel truly free
Under the hot glaze of the sun
Nyx Aug 2018
You're poking at my wounds
Causing them to bleed
Leaving bruises upon my skin
All due to your greed

Bending me till I break
Revealing my true sin
Tear away at my mask
You're standing there with a grin

Watching me as I cry
Laughing as I beg
I'm screaming out so many pleas
But your preoccupied by a keg

Crumbling to the ground
I'm in a desperate need of an escape
I still love you with all my heart
But how much more of this can I take?

You say you love me so desperately
The moment I turn to leave
But as soon as I am within your arms
You somehow cause me to grieve

I'm trapped within a loop
Of love, hatred and abuse
Wanting to leave but then to stay
Maybe I'm just tying my own noose

You act all high and mighty
But really you're being immature
I know in truth you have cheated
But you always make me feel unsure

I refused to be lied to
It kills me inside
Yet here you stand
So ideally by

Abuse me, Use me
Beat me till I'm blue
As long as in the end
I can be of some use to you

So here I am willingly
Standing before you
Except this time I'm sure
That you will be the one to lose
659 · Oct 2018
Peacekeepers Verdict
Nyx Oct 2018
I watched it all happened
I watched it all burn down
And yet I stood there watching
Without uttering a single sound

I knew all their secrests
I knew all their lies
I knew the real stories
All from each side

Trusted by all
They told me all things
But I stood there in silence
As they played a game of kings

Doing nothing at all
Even though i held the power
I just let them fall
Withering like a flower

Times have moved on
They are all no longer friends
I'm the last connection
There is no chance they will make amends

People fall apart
All rundown to different ends
Hatred and recentment burns
Though cast away by the winds

I see them all now
And even I've lost that spark
The one I once held
When the whole world seemed dark

As I stand upon the ashes
Of the loving people I once knew
That time gone and forgotten now
The very thought to which is taboo

Yet here I stand
At what was the foundation of the past
Holding the matchbox in hand
Crying, I thought it would last

I did nothing to stop it
I myself set it ablaze
So much for the peacekeeper
all she could do was gaze

And try and act innocent
Attempting not to get burnt
You would think after such tragedy
That I would have learnt

But its a burden I'll carry
Right down to my grave
Knowing I destroyed them
When they could have been saved

I let them burn
What kind of a monster does that?
*******...

I'm Guilty


~
Nyx Jul 2018
You're name still echoes within my mind
The possible meaningless things that makes me question my life
I swore to forget you
To remove you
Stop
Break
Release

Yet you so easily walk back in
Its as if you see through me
Every wall and facade
You have the key to each lock
That stands in your way
Though the others struggle
Attempting to fill your place
You simply won't let them
Stopping them from filling that empty space
My hearts opened to you
Again once more
But the question is
Do I still love you the same as before?
Am I missing you
Or do I just miss the idea of you
The sweet gentleman touch
Is causing quite a fuss
I care for you though
I can say that with pure honestly
Though my love for you has changed
Faded into void of endless possibility
Somewhere within I still long for your touch
The Affection is intoxicating
Those sweet words are pure bliss
Though theses things leave me contemplating
Contemplating why you left me like this
Though my heart is still riddled
Screaming at me why
I know I shouldn't let you back in
I shouldn't let you waste anymore of my time
through the silence that speaks louder then any words could
I still care for you
But never again will I feel anything more
Because I refuse to be broken
Broken like I was once before
610 · Apr 2018
Bonfire
Nyx Apr 2018
Staring into the fire
As the flames crackle and pop
The elegant dance of light
That seems unable to stop

Unleash your deepest secrets
As you sit around the flames
For those who shall surround you
Will soon forget your name

Alcohol and spirits
Fill your body and mind
Though around the bonfire
You will feel yourself unwind

The people here will listen
Strangely they will care
And for some odd reason
Everybody else will share

A peculiar bonding moment
With strangers you just met
What is it about this fire
That makes nobody seem like a threat

No faces to be matched
With the words that they pour out
No contact info exchanged
For this moment will be blacked out

So come sit around the bonfire
And begin to pour out your soul
Because for this fragile moment
Your story can finally be told
What is about bonfire that makes people have such deep talks and feel so calm?
586 · Oct 2018
He's an Old Friend
Nyx Oct 2018
Time passes over quickly
Within the blink of an eye
Seasons are changing
Its summer again, I sigh

It brings back things
That I thought I had forgotten
Bottled up emotions
Forever left unspoken

I see the beauty of the sky
Crystal clear and blue
The yellow Daisy's return
How did it all come so soon?

People fading in and out
Some of them have left
Though thoughts of him
Have my heart beating out of my chest

Anxiety always flushes through me
At every mention of his name
The memories and feelings
Everything remains untamed

We talk briefly of a boy
Who was once here
That stood high on a pedestal
There are many rumours you'll hear

He abused his girlfriend
He used her for her body
He never loved her
He is a heartless *******


I can tell you as a fact
That he loved her more then life
When she broke up with him
It ripped through him like a knife

He played the bad guy to the world
Let the friends he had think he was evil
He doesn't care at all
I learnt that people can be quite lethal

Within me he found sanctuary
A place where his heart could rest
He cried a million tears each day
A side nobody would have guessed

A story that remains a secret
My love for him stays untold
Happiest I've ever been
Even if I was bring controlled

As I walk down the path
Certain area flooded by him
I can't replace his memory
He was my light when all was dim

Occasionally when his name comes up
Many have ask me of the boy
Who was he to you?
Trying not to be coy

Painting on that smile of mine
To which has been perfected over the years
A longing pain erupting within me
Pain I've kept hidden from all my peers

He's an old friend

I would tell them
As I glance over to the tree
Him and I laying in peace
Filling myself with bitter sweet glee

But its better for the both of us
Now we are both free
My precious summer love
Just another devotee

My old friend
and secret love
581 · Aug 2018
He held my hand
Nyx Aug 2018
He held my hand gently
Though as tightly as can be
Hidden in the background
Where nobody else could see

I remember not noticing
Until the photo was finally done
He was unwilling to let go
Emotions on his face showed none

Holding on so desperately
As if with all of his might
I was unable to pry my hand away
Thought it was but for a moment in that night

His face was a void
Showing little to no emotion
I've no idea what it was
Luckily there wasnt a big commotion

Maybe it was for balance
As we were in skates
But he didnt have any on
Maybe its because we're mates?

Either way he felt so distant
Throughout the entire night
I'm convinced that our love is dead
Though that did spark a little light

I've left it in the dark
Let the flame burn itself out
That way I won't live my life
Filling it with such doubt

Though him holding my hand
Sometimes makes me thinks
What exactly was the point
Was he trying to rekindle our link

Forget it, never mind
I dont want to think about it
Those words that fill our void
Were so incredible slow
And somewhat dead

Though my last memory will be this
Him holding on so tightly
while i gently pulled away
That after all this i was finally the one
The one who didnt decide to stay
573 · Mar 2018
You sold me a lie
Nyx Mar 2018

The Two of us had a interesting start
It began in a peculiar way
Our gazes met from across the class
A stupid look glued on my face
An amused grin took over you
As I realised my fatal mistake
My best friend was sitting next to me
Laughing and beginning to shake

Walking out of class together
You still thinking it was great
Don't tell anybody what you saw today
I tried to keep a straight face

Imitating that dumb look
That you saw upon that day
Every time we glanced at each other
You would pull that ******* face

Weeks pasted by and you continued
Playing the same old game
But slowly we talked to one another
and eventually a friendship came

You had walls that I smashed down
Breaking down each one
At first you knocked me back
And you were an absolute ****
Insulting me and pushing away
as if a child who didn't want to play  

But eventually you grew close
And slowly opened up
It made me so **** happy
As if I were a playful pup

A year flew by quite quickly
And we had a strong bond of trust
Telling each other everything
and I helping with your crush

But there came a day where it stopped
And things began to change
You began to ignore me completely
And i found it particularly strange

I saw that I was replaced
I saw that look on your face
This one you treated differently
and my whole world began to change

Through now I know better
You sold me a lie
A lie that you attempt to keep
You're still trying to act quite sly

But now I've left you within the past
The boy who use to make me day
I've found people who love me dear
I'm no longer willing to be your prey
536 · Aug 2018
Half of the same blood
Nyx Aug 2018

Dear Older brother
You're never around
My Dear older brother
it's seemed you've dropped your crown

I've grown up knowing you merely by name
I didn't grow up with you
I haven't seen your bad days
Thou I do know somethings to be true

I know of a niece of mine
She a daughter of yours
Her name is Brianna
I still remember after all these years

She's kind and sweet
very loud and obnoxious
though you neglected her
She's always been quite cautious

You're the ghost of the family
The so called black sheep
Disappearing from existence
though nobody seemed to weep

In the past you were quite the rebel
  You grew **** in pots
Shoved them high in the trees
But that was a terrible hiding spot

I heard father tell me
You were part of the wrong crowd
You became a well known drug dealer
Going around this old town

I called you awhile ago
To inform you grandma died
But you didn't know who i was
Don't worry about it I replied

Half the same blood
We hold in our bodies
But clearly nothing alike
We aren't carbon copies

I wish though sometimes within the night
That you could have been a real brother
And a real father to your daughter
Instead of a stranger like any other

But time passes like everything else
There is no point hoping for the impossible
So to my so called dear older brother
I hope you can care for somebody
If thats even possible

Nick

523 · Dec 2018
Reap what you Sow
Nyx Dec 2018
When emotions well up
Annoyance and anger hits me
Recentment burns
Yearning to be set free

And reluctantly I let it
Slowly seep its way through the cracks
Waiting for the perfect moment
Where it can launch its final attack

Silently it brews
Subtly it shows it way
Be attentive and pick it up
As then we can begin our play

Where we act so innocent
Oblivious to what surrounds
Hands over our eyes
Refusing to make a sound

Let's see what you can do
Tho your actions won't go unanswered
In the end you'll reap what you sow
But until then nobody has to know

Except for me my dear

When the flames around you roar
And you scream out to the sky
There will be nobody left around
Who will listen to your cries

Its funny how things change people
Into beings they use to resent
And when their time comes
Its their turn to repent

And you hear the little whispers
Amongst the friends that you hold dear
No longer knowing the reason
They refused to keep you near

You never could see it though
You were always searching for more
Taking for granted everything you had
There is nobody left to adore

I hold no sympathy
As this was your doing

You reap what you sow


-
518 · May 2018
Thrill of the night
Nyx May 2018
Stadium overflowing
voices echoing throughout
Music reverberates around us
The intensity of our body heat
Each heart beating in perfect synch
Chants and screams
The lyrics of the songs
Confetti shooting out from above
Surrounding us with a blur of colour
Softly gently drifting down upon us
Jumping and swaying to the rythem
Flashing bright lights
The camera panning across the crowd
The smiles and the laughter
Pure happiness spread across their faces
Losing ourself within the masses
Surrendering our very soul
To the artists that through their songs
Helps us to stand up
Allowed us to feel needed
Gave us hope
The passion and the fury of the night
Where everyone was connected as one
An arena full of strangers
But through this music
Freedom and Happiness is born
The thrill of the night
This is what I live for
I've never felt more happy or excited in my life
493 · Mar 2018
Mask
Nyx Mar 2018

We all wear a mask
To hide whats beneath
locking away our true selves
Setting it in place, with hard concrete

Painting and decorating
It becomes colourful and bright
Our own unique mask
That we work on each night

Enhancing the features
Till its just perfect and right
It hides away our feelings
So everything will be alright.

Our souls are ugly and broke
Boring. Ghastly. Shameful.
Don't allow them to be uncloaked
Everyone else will surely revoke

Everyone will hate you
Everyone will lie
Nobody will love you
So don't even try

Is it really everyone else who made you this way?
From the way that I see it
Its you,
who lead yourself astray

I've been betrayed and forgotten
Thats what we say
Blaming everyone else
As we carry on with our childish play

A life so caught up on the outer appearance
just leaves you feeling empty
And you forget your own existence

Don't allow yourself to live this way
Because surely there will come a day
You're mask will become forgotten
And your hard work will be undone

Where your mask will slip
and crash to the ground
The decorations will shatter
and be scattered all around

And at this certain point you will come to learn
You worked on your mask so everyone could see
But you forgot that you're true self will always break free
You never allowed anyone to love you from the start
And yet you expected them to learn what was  hidden under your Beautiful Mask.
487 · Apr 2018
Thats what hell is
Nyx Apr 2018
Hell is loving you in my sleep
Filling my dreams and mind with only you
Your very existence bringing me overwhelming happiness
Loving you with all my might
And when I finally have you in my arms
I'll wake up all alone.
Nyx Sep 2018
I'm suffocating again
Gasping for breath
Unable to inhaul the air
That I so desperately need
I feel my lungs burning bright
A flame roaring in my chest
Desperate to escape
I have to leave.

I need to spread my wings
I need to feel the cool breeze
Rushing through my hair
I need to have the clear view of the sky
To fly to where I want to be
I can't be held down by chains again
This isint where I belong

I can't breath

Run.
I'm too close to the edge
Push me now and I'll fall
Pulling my feathers one by one
I'm slowly losing my ability of flight
Please let me go
I'm losing my will to fight

Stop it

Dont hold me in your embrace
Its not love and warmth that I'm searching for
Its the freedom that sets my heart ablaze
Not to continue to see the same face

Let me go

Dont ask me what's wrong
Dont tell me the words that you think will persuade me
Just silently stand by
And allow me to be free

I want to be alone
I want to be with me
I need time to think
I need to recover

I can't keep doing this...

I CANT
I CANT
I CANT
I CANT


I just can't anymore...

Just let me breath the air that I so desperately desire
Just let me be me

I'm going to disappear again
Me just screaming and freaking the **** because im a mess and life is just getting to a crashing point
I NEED TO BREATH
473 · Jul 2018
What we have is dead
Nyx Jul 2018

What we have is dead
An emotionless attachment
A void of meaningless reasons
A life of broken fragments

Touching you doesn't feel the same
Your touch, It's Cold. Empty.
Your movement no longer sync with mine
We have lost our flow of rhythm

Our hearts no longer beat the same
We have vanished from our own existence
Your hair isint as soft as before
Maybe its due to our distance

You no longer melt under my touch
You no longer smile with glee
Your actions no longer match your words
Maybe this is the truth I finally needed to see

You came all this way it must count for something
But I know its because you think you owe me
Standing by your side through it all
You feel like you had to do this for me

Though I can feel the tension in the air
We aren't the people we use to be
7 months can really change a person
You leaving was what set me free

Now your voice is empty
And so are your words
Dead end lies
Coated with sugar


What we have is dead
We are clingying to who we were
What we had, what we did
Even though now its all but a blur

what's dead is meant to be buried
Deep within the ground
Leave it there, locked away
Where it can no longer can be found.

Let's not try and resurrect the dead
Because what's gone is gone
And quite frankly
Its never coming back.

When something dies there is no way to bring it back
So what good will it bring trying again
Nyx Apr 2019
You've hurt me greatly
Though your desperate needs,
You yearned for affection
Detesting the weight of your words
leading my heart on the run
False propositions of a title
Lies slandering our names
Associated with whats fake
Clearly it was all give and no take
I was always just a maybe
Always unsure

To you I was never a certain
Dare not define the word love
More the need to fill the void
With a heart that seemed to care
Take it carefully within your hands
Though without warning you begin to tear
Piece. by. piece.
The parts begin to fall
Blood dripping from within your palms
Before discarding it on the floor
Staining you with a rich crimson red
As you vanish off into the night
I dare not gaze upon your face again
Knowing the truth I would rather not fight
Settling the pain within me
Thats conjured up a storm
Swallow my pride and my despair
I'll let it go and move on
Though never again will I feel
The same gentle patient care
For dear sir, you have hurt me greatly
And on the second time round
I refuse to fight fair.

Not a single tear will fall for you again
I shall not waste myself on you



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