Stadium overflowing
voices echoing throughout
Music reverberates around us
The intensity of our body heat
Each heart beating in perfect synch
Chants and screams
The lyrics of the songs
Confetti shooting out from above
Surrounding us with a blur of colour
Softly gently drifting down upon us
Jumping and swaying to the rythem
Flashing bright lights
The camera panning across the crowd
The smiles and the laughter
Pure happiness spread across their faces
Losing ourself within the masses
Surrendering our very soul
To the artists that through their songs
Helps us to stand up
Allowed us to feel needed
Gave us hope
The passion and the fury of the night
Where everyone was connected as one
An arena full of strangers
But through this music
Freedom and Happiness is born
The thrill of the night
This is what I live for

Free your spirt
Free your mind
Through a dance
Let your soul entwine
Through movements fast
And movement slow
Let the rhythm of the music flow
Feel each beat
From the tip of your fingers
To the end of your feet
Take a step, a leap
And gracefully fall
But don't forget
To catch yourself after all
Stand on your toes
Take a deep breath
Within these moments
You are able to forget
Release your troubles
Unveil your mask
As this is where
Your story starts

They say that the only way to heal a broken heart is with time

That always sounded stupid to me

The only cure for a painfilled heart and mind

Is with time.

The sun will continues to rise, it still shines as bright

The moon and stars still align and glisten in the night

The Season still change, and we too will change

As father time waits for no man

Its all part of Gods plan

Today I woke up.

And you know,
I think I'm starting to believe them



-

Time heals all
That we know is true
But its also has been found
That it doesn't heal all wounds

Some may be buried deeply
Hidden within our minds
Forced upon smiling faces
While people secretly die inside

Some have been printed
Like a brand upon our skin
Stained and burnt
Stopping us from letting people in

Some are renewed
On a day to day basis
Fresh cuts and bruises
Covering hands and faces

We hurt, We cry
Feeling helpless and gone
But some feel in control
The longer the act goes on

These wounds that litter us
Forced upon or not
They don't define who we are
Its proof that we fought

We fought a battle within ourselves
It was near impossible to defeat
But look at us now
We are still standing tall on our feet

And for most the fight
It'll be forever ongoing
I can't say when it will end
Its scary not knowing

But as long as we push through
Make it to the end of each day
We will eventually find peace
And our lives will no longer be grey

If time heals all
That all we have to do is wait
Because when the time comes
That will surely be our fate

Until then
Fight.

To be honest
I'm happy
I'm content with my life
I wouldn't change a thing
From the past to the present
All the people I loved
I'll never regret
And all the things that I've done
Even the things that leave holes in my chest
To all the mistakes I've made
And to all the people I've hurt
Each thing made me who I am
All the love and the pain
I wish for nothing more
Except for everything to stay in its place
But even when things stay
They still ever so slightly change
Changing in colour, in feeling and shape
To wish for the inevitable
That is part of my fate
There is no stopping time
I know this one well
But it still won't stop me hoping
Upon it I'll eternally dwell
To all the people in my life
And all those gone
I loved each moment spent with you
From the dusk to the dawn

Today I gave up
Gave up on you
Forgot the things that we did
Forgot the people we were

Today I thought
For a moment too soon
You don't need me in your life
I thought I don't need you

Today I wore
Wore the necklace meant for you
Gave the keychain away
Put the shirt somewhere safe

Today I felt
Felt that you lost your place
No room left within my heart
Not after all this time apart

Today I knew
That I had past a point
A point of no return
Its time to start a new

Today is the last day
The last day that I think of you
My heart no longer racing
no longer aching for you

Today I'm Free
I can finally be me
I'm my very own person
As I finally found the key

At last I can say
G o o d b y e

Wandering outside
The fresh air caresses my skin
Music blaring from the shed
The celebration in full swing

Intoxicated teens dancing about
TONIGHT WE ARE YOUNG
You can hear them all shout

Roaming towards the bonfire
The flames dimly glow
I sit down quietly
Completely on my own

Warm arms wrap around me
Enclosed from both sides
who could this be?
I feel a calming vibe

I recognise his voice
Musky and deep
He whispers sweet nothings
My heart skips a beat

He speaks with a hushed tone
Lips brushing against my neck
Each word that is spoken
I've got to keep myself in check

The coarse stubble of his chin
Sends shivers down my spine
As the words become kisses
I wanted him to be mine

Holding myself back
As I wanted to kiss him right there
I couldn't betray my friend
And he began to stare

Exchanging a few more words
We spoke softly with each other
Trapped in his embrace
My cheeks filled with colour

Contentment fell over us
As we sat in peaceful silence
You Deserve at least this
He said, with a tender kiss

Dancing away the night
Still thinking about that kiss
We were both far too sober
To be making mistakes such as this.

To the boy who's heart i broke
I apologies in advance
I know I shouldn't have done what i did
I shouldn't have taken that chance

To that same boy who now hates me
With such you have every right
I do apologies that you will never see this
You will never see me in the same light

I was intrigue by you
That I won't lie
and i thought maybe
I could give this a try

I lead you on, I admit
It wasn't the best thing to do
But for the first few days
I was genuinely interested in you

You were funny and sweet
I was completely and utterly flattered
But then four factors came in
Which lead your heart to be shattered

I have my reasons for doing that
Reasons you'll never hear
Its all pointless now
As all you want is for me to disappear

My first reason which lead me to stress
Was that i couldn't handle the commitment
I panicked and I freaked, I cried for a week
You couldn't understand, I'm sorry for being weak

The second reason was that I noticed my true feelings
I realised far to late that I only saw you as a friend
I asked and begged my friend to hold off your confession
But in the end she wouldn't which lead to our digression

The third reason plays into the second
As my true feelings told me so,  I was in love with another
I was too naive to see, I only saw you as a brother
Once i discovered my feelings, I had to play it off
If you ever read this, to all of this you would scoff

My fourth and final reason was one that hit me hard
I noticed that my best friend, the one who got us together
Was secretly in love with you, And just did it to get closer
So I hurt you, and told you it was all over

I left you broken and hurt
I know, But I could see it her eyes
She wanted me to let you go
I never told you the real reasons i left you for dead
I mean how could I? When all you would see is red

Its a ****** explanation, Trust me I know
But I'm now playing the villain, a demon at most
Because I want her happiness, I want her to boast
So I'm willing to be painted as evil and cruel
All for a friend, No matter how brutal

To that boy who will never see this
For he will never know, the truth remains hidden
Buried deep below, I wish you could know
that I am truly sorry

So to the boy who once loved me
I wish you the best
Be happy and carefree
So I can finally rest.

We use to wreak havoc together
At a small little school
With characters and phrases
Making the teacher look like a tool

Our Chinese school was hell
But ever Saturday we still went
Our partnership was one of destruction
Causing even the principal to vent

We sat at the back of the class
While all the proper students sat at the front
Determination in their eyes
Asian tiger parents forcing them to survive

While ours were much the same
Except a little more lenient
We passed everything so good enough
Our ways more devious

A team effort it was
We all passed with flying colours
Not without full blow hatred from others
Though we weren't bothered

And years have past us by
No longer do we speak
At most we have a snap record
But we only ever sent streaks

Though your basic asian look
closely matching with mine
except for you being a guy
and having black pitched eyes

We were close once before
We were a childish endeavour
Now reduced to nothing
Without a single word ever

And write as I will
About that old forgotten letter
and the missing you with my heart
but I can't get any better

As my will to talk to you is broke
I'm scared of the words I once spoke
With the shattered picture frame on the floor
I dare not defy those laws

Until you flash by my life again
For a moment, for a single memory or sight
I'll remember you in my heart
As meaningless as that is
For you will never know

I'll miss you forever
My little Troublemaker
Be happy and stay safe

It will workout.























surely...

The moment I turned
and walked away
I felt my heart break a little
He didn't chase

Slowly taking steps
Without looking back
I couldn't hear his footsteps
But I couldn't backtrack

I felt my feet getting heavy
dragging them along
Desperately wanting to run
Back to where I belong

Within his arms safely
Standing side by side
Contently drifting along
As gentle waves by the seaside

The happiest they've ever seen me
Most carefree I've ever been
I was completely in love
A world consisting of just me and him

Though a raging river stood
Between our hearts
And in the end I was
The one left behind in the dark

As I raised my head high
Marching along to a beat
I've learnt to smile yet again
At last I can feel complete

Time has passed over
And not once did he chase
But the moment he did
It was already to late

I grew tired of running
Trailing after him
Was it really to much effort
To try and run after me too?

When I got up
Letting go of his hand
he didn't try to stop me
I guess this was where he stands

I knew then
He doesn't love me
And he never will

We have reached our limits
He no longer needs me
I've given all that I can give
So no matter what happens now

I'm not turning back


~

Why now?
Out all these months, All this time
Why is it now that you think its okay to jump back into my life?
You vanish, I cut off everything for you
I left my heart behind in the dirt
I buried my love six feet underground
To forget you, like you forgot me
But here you are again
Acting as if nothing has changed
My phone gleaming with your messages
And I respond to you in a heartbeat
I have no self control
You're stirring up a storm
Though you don't know the effect
This intoxicating feeling you give to me
With a single word or a call
It sends my heart into flutters
I love you
No, I did love you
I need to stop this now
I can't fall back in again not after everything
Not after what I went through to get out
It hurts too much to try again
but everything about you draws me in
Your striking blue eyes that seem to mirror the sky
Long wavy hair, in a Carmel brown
Soft to the touch, gently running through my fingers
It sends a shiver down my spin to think
But its forbidden to return to that place
To that state of mind and time
We removed that memory
Along with our existence
So why is it now
Why now have you come back?


Please don't come back
because I am still
Unable to Resist

#

I don't want to live in a world
where I am unable to feel loved

You know
its really stupid
but after all this time
my heart still beats for you
What a silly little heart
He doesn't want you
and he never will.

Do I miss you?
Or
Do I miss the Idea of you? .

My heart has become hateful
As jealousy burns
&
Self hated prevails
Blame all others for their deeds
After being lulled into false security

What has happened?
They ask, Is everything okay?
My Egotistical soul reply
Its your fault
While my facade says
I'm fine.


-

Maybe it is
Different for everyone,
It's ambiguous.
It's not something
You can describe with words properly.
If you can feel it
In your own heart, then
Surely,
That must be love.

~

I'm not good with emotions
Things like love or like
I'm incapable of handling situations
Boys and Girls alike

I question is something wrong with me?
Am I sick, incapable of love
Or am I just afraid of commitment
Maybe I just need a shove

The heat of the moment lights a spark
A wonderful night, of pure unadulterated fun
Then the next day and week
My heart begins to freak

I
Avoid him
Freak out
I'll have
Panic attacks
Breakdowns
Be Afraid
Feel fear
Want to Disappear
Break down in tears

I hurt them
Break them
Destroy their hearts and souls
I pretend that I'm the weak one
But i'm really in control

Well aside the panic and fear
I try to make things clear
Please forget about me
I'm not someone that can be held dear

Why do I feel this way?
So afraid of the world
Fearful of everything
Scared of everyone

Am I just broke?
Corrupted inside
Maybe somewhere along the way
My heart seemed to die

I dont understand
Because I'm usually calm and composed
Yet as soon as somebody likes me
That goes out the window

What is this?
I cant comprehend
Can I find somewhere out there
That i can come to love more than a friend

Can somebody please tell me
Shout out a cry
Tell me please
Can somebody explain why

What right do I have to hurt?
Must I lock up my feelings and abstain
What right do I have to say out loud
That I'm in so much P A I N

When a breakup happens, what do you do?
You jump on to the latest gossip
Who dumped who, and who shed tears and cried
And you choose a side along with that too

One side receives pity and comfort
Support for what their going through
The other is hated by all who hear the story
But little do they know the complete truth

Snickers, insults and glares line the halls
its like everybody is watching you
You haven't seen the person in weeks
But still they are all especially rude

Once you make a choice to leave
You no longer get to play the "victim"
A villain who shattered another heart  
Is not allowed to feel afflicted

What right do I have to feel upset
As the other hates me, rightfully so
What right do I have to cry myself to sleep
As my friends watch as if this is a game show

What right do I have to want to forget
To not want to hear of that person
Nobody will believe or hear the reasons
They won't look beyond the surface

But I'm not entitled to that right
The right to speak these feelings aloud
So I'll plaster on this cheerful smile
Let's just hope I don't breakdown.

What we have is dead
An emotionless attachment
A void of meaningless reasons
A life of broken fragments

Touching you doesn't feel the same
Your touch, It's Cold. Empty.
Your movement no longer sync with mine
We have lost our flow of rhythm

Our hearts no longer beat the same
We have vanished from our own existence
Your hair isint as soft as before
Maybe its due to our distance

You no longer melt under my touch
You no longer smile with glee
Your actions no longer match your words
Maybe this is the truth I finally needed to see

You came all this way it must count for something
But I know its because you think you owe me
Standing by your side through it all
You feel like you had to do this for me

Though I can feel the tension in the air
We aren't the people we use to be
7 months can really change a person
You leaving was what set me free

Now your voice is empty
And so are your words
Dead end lies
Coated with sugar

What we have is dead
We are clingying to who we were
What we had, what we did
Even though now its all but a blur

what's dead is meant to be buried
Deep within the ground
Leave it there, locked away
Where it can no longer can be found.

Let's not try and resurrect the dead
Because what's gone is gone
And quite frankly
Its never coming back.

The blisters formed and bubbled, Your skin began to burn,
Desperately trying to extinguish all light,
While feigning such concern.

Smothering out the flame, cutting off the air,
the charring smell is making me sick.
No, It's pretending that you care.

Your hands once so soft, have now grown callus,
harden from the "home" you built around me,
Each brick tainted with malice.

Gasping tightly around my ever failing, feeble form,
Looking around frantically,
only to be met with your cloudy eyes filled with scorn.

I lay there in the ashes, the remnants of me,
Darkened sky of smoke surrounding my vision,
All thats left is seared debris

And that is where you left me.






But that's where I refuse to stay.

~

You once asked me

Why won't you tell me who you loved?

I responded gently
As if speaking to a child

When you love somebody
So closely and dear
Its a moment in your heart
Where your mind becomes clear
Painted so vividly within your thoughts
The ones that you love stands bright and tall

The moments we spend together
They were special
Nobody knows about it
The more people who know
The less special it becomes

I smiled to myself
As I dazed off about that time
To which you countered with

How do you know if he felt the same?

Silence filled the air
As I thought for a moment

Quite frankly I dont know
I have no solid proof
It was unspoken between us
It was a breif time of our youth

Then why is it so special?

Because I loved him
No matter if those feelings
Were returned or not

~

Why...

Why is it always her

Why is she always the best

Why is she always so much better

So much prettier, smarter, funnier

Why does she get everything

Why can she take away everything I have

Why must she invade my life

Only to steal away the things that bring me happiness

W H Y

Just...Why couldn't it ever had been me?

Why is it always her

That gets to have everything

Why is she the only one that can be happy

~