What was it like before
Before we fell
Before we ended up here
In this darkened place
That feels like hell
Can you tell me please
I don't remember
Maybe I shouldn't
It would just add to it
Was we happy
Was skies blue
What was it like before
Before we fell

Did you think you was gonna pull the wolf over my eyes

Why do you talk stupid?


To make you undersand!
Dont you know it's a dog eat dog world out there, it's survival of the fattest

There you go talking stupid again!!


And there you go understanding again

Weak is my will
Missing is my skill
Aim not straight enough to ****

I'm a wounded animal with a dangerous bite
No where to hide I must fight
Backed into a corner, what a sight

Better watch out I've gone feral, I've gone madd
I've lost what little sanity I had
To the marrow, to the core, my souls gone bad

Talking to a God that's gone MIA
He never listened anyway
That why I stoped, now I never pray

Been driven over the edge with all the pain
Now agony is what reigns
I'm tired of this ****** up game

I'm sick of a life that fosters
Only Demons in my roster
With my mask, I feel like an impostor

So this skin I'm gonna slice right through
I'll pay my dues
I'll leave a blood stained hue

Then I'll slink back from where I came
Heaven or Hell it's all the same
They both play the same vicious game

With bullet like words I'll let it rain
So everyone can ******* pain
Let them crumble under my strain

Someone needs to ring the bell
I already fell
All my life I've tasted the flames of hell

Hit after hit, bout after bout
No ones there to help me out
With deafened ears they hear my shouts

I've ran out of options, ran out of luck
Now I'm being ****** in, I'm stuck
Will no one brave the quicksand and pull me up

Look at the mess they made
Not helping a friend that could've been saved
I hope they never come to my grave

Slice it up, make it quick
It'll be done with just one flick
Cut it deep
I want it to do more than weep
Cut out the bad
Oops that's all I had
rivers of blood from me pour
Now I'm in pieces on the floor
I just couldn't take it any more!!

I'll be greeting my own insanity
Before this this life is done with me

I live with many diseases, my life is not simple
I don't know which is worse the physical or the mental
It depends on the day
As to what I will say
And on very bad day's it is both
Those day's I loathe
I stay in my bed
And pull the covers over my head
And wish that I was dead
That being said
I just trudge along
Wishing I was strong
Strong enough to at lest kick one diseases ***
Strong enough that I don't relive the past
But that is impossible when the past visits you
He comes by every year or two
And if your wondering how I am today
Well ....in my bed I stayed

Why all the scars, please let me explain
I've been through Hell, I've been licked by the flames
I've trudged through the white hot coals
I've been where know one should have to go

And I will not hide the scars
That on my body mars
I wear them proudly
For they speak loudly
Of the agony I've endured
And of my madness that can't be cured
But also that I'm a survivor
A real bad *** fighter

But my heart did not grow cold
Like many people that I know
Instead I know true empathy
Which is so much more than sympathy

It's the knowing of pain and what it can do
Those without gut wrenching agony haven't a clue
So if you find your self in sorrows fiery land
Just streach out your hand
I'll grab ahold
And not let go
I'll not lose my grip
I won't let you slip

Somewhere beneath the ****
Of what they tried to make you become
They try to make you wear the face of despair
To where you no longer care
They try to make you despise
But I see past the disguise
I've heard your cries
I know above this you can rise
They can not keep you down
Even as they still try to bury you in the ground
You'll see there is still hope to be found
They will not be your demise
I know where your gloden heart lies

Your connection is unstable
Is how my life should be labeled

I wrote you this note
So you could cope
I ended my life
With a sharpened knife
It was selfish I admit
But I don't regret it

You tried to make me belive that lie
Things would get better....(sigh)
I've lived many years
And everyday i fear
More bad days than good
So I did what I should

I will love you all forever
Please never dobut that whatsoever
I leave you my love and our memories
And everywhere you go you'll find pennies

The body count is high
If you piled them up they'd reach the sky
Of all the men that scorched me
But they where the last to plea
They made me cry
They hurt me, so they had to die

It was the only way
I left their bodies lay
I destroyed their worlds
I made it all come unfurled
They made my darkness
I made them heartless

I'm going out to face the monster
She has hollow eyes and drool on her lip
I summons up all the courage I can foster
I'll stand tall and shoot straight from the hip

It stares at me with a snarl on it's snout
It's teeth are sharp they mean to pierce
I can't help but wonder what this farce is all about
Because this beast is looking mighty fierce

I slowly edge my way to the bag
It stares at me intensely
I'm hoping my steps don't lag
It's appetite is immensely

I pour the food into the bowl
Her tail starts waging like hell
I had reached my goal
Now my dog will have to wait for the next dinner bell

Swimming in the sea of ecstasy
Is where I want to be
Just you and me
And when the storms blow
There's no need for fear to grow
We'll just drift with the flow

We can float on our backs
There will be nothing we lack
And when the sharks attack
You'll just pull out your blade
That with your own hands you have made
I won't be affraid

I will cherish these days
You set my soul a blaze
Into your eye's I'll deeply gaze
My icy cold heart will start to drip
As I kiss your soft lips
And we tighten our grip

The waves will carry us along
As our hearts beat out a lovers song
Because I know in your arms I belong
For it's you I adore
And there will be so much more in store
When we wash up on that sandy shore

There once was a tiny Dragon
The biggest anyone could fathom
He was the fiercest in all the land
And always willing to lend a helping hand
He could breath fire so you better take stock
He turns everyone into ice blocks
In this land the sun always shines
But it will stop raining at the drop of a dime
It's the land of contradiction
Every thing is fiction

Or is it???

I'm trying to break the norm
I'm trying to break through the storm
I'm trying to discard the dread
I'm trying to find happiness instead
I'm trying to escape the doom
I'm trying to save what it consumes

Try though I might, I'm failing
Try though I might in my bailing
Try though I might, my ships not sailing
Try though I might it's hard to keep caring
Try though I might, I keep on sinking
Try though I might I keep on weeping

Maybe I should just let go
Maybe there is something I don't know
Maybe I should let things be
Maybe there's something I can't see
Maybe things will be just fine
Maybe this is my sublime

Maybe things won't get much worse
Maybe I really don't live under a curse
Maybe this sadness is my way
Maybe I'm supposed to fight for each day
Maybe I'm supposed to live with catastrophe being the norm
Maybe I'm supposed to dance in the storms

You look surprised that you were gorged
By that little beast, that *****
All along you knew she was a *****
Hell, on her back it's plainly stamped

So now your stuck upon her horns
In her clutches of sharpened thorns
As piece by piece, she'll take you apart
You'll know when she's done, you'll be missing your heart

You put physically beauty, before the beauty in the heart
So you got exactly what you sought

I watch and I snicker
Because your cranium was thicker
Than the words that I said
Not a syllable reached a brain cell in that head

I don't feel a twinge of guilt
You can live in what you built
I'll watch it crumble down
With a smile on my lips, as you are forced to wear that crown

Maybe I should of ran, and dashed
Grabbed your gun, when I had the chance
I'm trying to keep the burning tears behind my eyes
Trying desperately to maintain my disguise
I know you don't see what I really could be
Or loaded guns you wouldn't have left with me

My actions where becoming feral
As I put in my mouth the cold steel barrel
But this being your gun, and the blind trust you showed
You seeing me with the back of my head blowed
Pieces of me
All over the trees
Well.....I couldn't let that be
So I removed the gun from my mouth, put it away
When you came back I smiled like it was just any other day

I have a glimpse of happiness
It's chasing away the blackness
But I'm scared and apprehensive
Because these feelings are so intensive

These feelings have grown in such a few days
And I am so use to things not going my way
But he is the sweets most honest man I've ever found
But I'm worried my sadness will bring him down

But for now I am floating feet not on the ground
And I'm begging to God there will not be that splattering sound
Of falling off this cloud that I'm on
I couldn't bear to turn around and him to be gone

So for now I'm gonna enjoy this feeling of hope
That someone has found me and with my darkness they can cope
This might be a turning point after all of these years
It just awful that I have all of these fears

I'm just so use to good times turning into nightmares
And hope always turning into despair
So I pray he just gives some time
Because my darkened thoughts can't turn on a dime

And even though we are miles apart
I can still feel the beat of his heart
My pulse quickens when we talk
His words always hit their mark
And he has so definitely started a spark
In a fire that so long ago had turned to ashes
But boy, does that man give me hot flashes

Blood is what connects us all
So why do we make each other fall
Blood is life
Even in the middle of all our strife
Blood is pain
That is why some of us let it drain
Blood is death
It spills out, with our last breath

If I've sparked your interest
And you wonder why I'm diffrent
I won't let you wonder in vain
Let me take just a minute to explain

I've been shadow kissed
This fact can not be dismissed
I've passed through death's door, and returned again
Now the spirit in this skin is hard to contain
It's left a mark on my soul that is so plain

That's why I don't wear a mask
I'm not afraid of the feelings that I in bask
I lay it all out, my anger, my sorrow, my anguish
And in silence I no longer wanted to languish

The day I died my tiny world shook
And now I'm an open book

She's a demon with red glowing blood shot eye's
If you catch a glimpse you'll want to die
There is a fire that reside deep inside
Smoke just rolls from up from her lips and nose
And setting on her shoulders is the blackest crows
In her hands she carries the deadest rose
She always lays it on the stoop
Of the nexts victim that she's gonna scoop
Everyday she gets more wise
By feeding on the children's cries
For wisdom God did forsake
For once upon a time she was just a snake
But she grew into human form to make us quake
But with the wailing and sorrow she inflicts
Her knowledge grows and children is what she picks
For their innocents is so pure
It leaves them with scars that for the rest of their lifes they must endure
And leaves them marked there is no cure
Her scars leave them shining like a beacon
And on their souls the other demons will be eaten

There was a witch in the woods
No one thought was good
She wore a shirt tie dyed in hippies blood
She smoked lots and lots of bud
She had a pet nightingale
And at night it would not sing but yell

One day she decided to pay homage it mother earth
For nature to her powers had given birth
She thought that a picnic might do
So she went around setting the mood
She gathered the wolfsbane and some food
Lit the candles and the fire
Making it climb higher and higher
She stared her naked dance you could hear her wicked laughter
But there was an important thing she forgot to factor

The villagers really hated her so the tracked her down
And tackled her down to the ground
Tied her up and on one of her wrists was a big bruise
That was the final straw, it lit her fuse
And she sent them all
To the gates of hell for the fall
So no longer could they visit or call

Iphone, laptops, and the internet is to make us all smarter
But it makes us all dumber, and life alot harder
Microwaves, bread makers, electric can openers so we can save time
To help us make supper on less of a dime
We no longer talk to friends we text
Ment to bring us closer but it's more like a hex
Want to see a sunset just look on a screen
Don't go outside that would be obscene
We spend all our time at work to buy possessions
It's like an obsession
This material world perplexes me
It's all around me, you see
Ment to bring us closer, save us money, and time
But we are always working so much it's more like a crime
No time for family, friend or mother nature
In this material world we've fallen into a crater
Wouldn't it be funny if the plug was pulled
And we would have to go back to using hand tools
I think we all would turn into drooling fools

Beats me
Why it seems I'm thrown into the sea

Beats me
Why my life has no glee

Beats me
Why no one hears my plea

Beats me
Why no one can see

Beats me
I'm just try to be

You sit there and tell me all of your thoughts
Of how she always leaves you ******* in knots
How you really love her, besides she's so hot
Then you tell me how you all fought
She's marrying another, it's leaving you so wrought
But still when she calls, you run like hell
So why do you keep complaining, please do tell
I am your friend
And will be to the end
But if your looking to me for some Validation
I'm sorry but my train doesn't stop at that station

Texting someone and waiting on a reply
It's taking so long I just might die
I'll be a pile of bones
Before they get to their phone

On nights like tonight
I take my knife
And whittle
Just a little
And you can make sure
It all just becomes a blur
But I am so numb
I let the blood come
I know I'll survive
I just need to know I'm alive

There once was a man
That thought his member was grand
He called it the best in all of the land

He went from woman to woman
He said he was just checking their fluid

If your thinking he's a stud you couldn't be wronger
He's what my my grandpa would call a whoremonger

Day after day everything I try is undone
Like a black cat I am shunned
They act like a backhoe, and I am just dirt
Pressure on me they like to exert
So I go along in life like the ghost that I am
They just look through me never giving a ****
This life of mine is nothing but splatter
Who cares if I leave a little brain matter

There once was a man named Jake
He thought he could swim in the crystal clear lake
He striped down to his birthday suit,for heavens sake
The water was so clear everyone could see his little snake
He was embarrassed and started to shake
It felt like a big earth quake
Luckily along came his friend named Drake
That pulled up in his truck and set the hand brake
His friendship to Jake he wouldn't forsake
He wrapped Jake in a towel knowing what was at stake
For you see Jake's snake was an implant, a fake

And that's when Jake became awake

To wise for this world, they have it all backwards
Am I the only one that can see it's headed for disaster
I don't want to be here when they set the world on fire
I know this situation is very dire
Before it gets worse I want my life to expire
To get out of this hell, this awful quagmire
They all worship their possessions
Never seeing the great deception
That all that really matters is love and compassion
Soon the world will burn with their hatred and greed
The warning signs they don't heed
And soon the earth it's self will bleed

Time stands still again
Then rewinds from within us
As we reminisce

Sometimes depression hits me like a ton of bricks
And when that happens the blood runs thick
I'm trying to find reasons for my life story to go on
Maybe this will be my final song
Think I'll just take the razor and bleed along
I'm tired of the darkness
This might be my catalyst

Driving to work today
This is what I saw along my way
Vultures sitting on top of utility poles
As I traveled down the hot dusty road
Kinda makes me worried how todays gonna go
Not one, not two, but four I spied
Makes me want to turn tail and hide
They did not fly but had that look in their eyes
Patiently waiting for a great demise
But on I pressed with great foreboding
Wondering what the futures holding
Made it to work, everyone here is still alive
Thank God,because the old man is eighty five
Maybe the vultures are for me insteed
Maybe today is the day I'll end up dead

When the moon comes full circle
The change rips through me like a power circuit
It starts in my toes
Far away from my heel they grow
My knees now bend backward
My bones all feel fractured
Still on two feet I stand
As I go out and survey my land

There is a hunger inside me that stirs
And my blood lust all will incur
As I run swiftly through the woods
To meet my pack, my hood
I am the alpha female the leader of this brood
In the bright moonlight we go in pursue of food

We stalk the campers in their tents
They never had a single hint
Inside their canvas shell the blood did spray
They had become our prey

We shredded the skin to make it tender
So savoury sweet as I remember
With blood dripping off our jowls
We soon go back on the prowl

I am the alpha female I am the leader of my pack
If you see us coming, you better not look back
Better yet when the moon is full and bright
Don't go wondering in the woods at night

It's like being on the edge of having ten ideas at once
But my little pills make me dunce
It tries to chases the thoughts away
At lest it keeps them all at bay
It gives me rest from my whizzing mind
Sometimes I don't want to look, and find
The monsters that breed in my head
Some day's they don't need feed

Awake all night
Till the morning light
Touches the morning sky
Guess I'll open my shades
Thoughts in my head heavily weighed
And I'm afraid I picked up the blade
The voices in my brain did shout
Cut it out, cut it out

And so I tried
I almost died
The blade I swung
Boold it flung

But again it faild
It was all to no avail
I did all thats was curtailed
But it still derailed
And I'm still here to inhale
And it's still inside..... exhale

To foreign lands I want to roam
Where Kings and Queens sit upon their throne
And big cats prowl, and wild dogs howl
And there's every kind of fowl
Where mighty elephants trumpet
And with tea they serve crumpets
I want to see the very old creations of man
I know I'd be their biggest fan
To walk the ground that Jesus tread
And feed the masses with seven loaves of bread
I would love to see the foreign sands
To get homesick and return to my home land

Mister Sun light my way
You've been away to long
In the dark is where I've stay
Sorrow is my only song
I could use some fun today
But I fear soon I'll be gone

I'm so tired of the tears
I'm so tired of the lies
I'm so tired of the fears
I'm so tired of all the sighs
I'm so tired of all these years

I just want to lay down and quit
I don't want to stay here
I just want to exist
Life is what I fear
It only gives me ****

Cut my wrist, make them bleed
Throw this shity live aside
Swallow these pills so I no longer breath
I just so very much want to die

Love lies bleeding on the floor
I'm not gonna pick it up any more
I done everything I can do
Even took your demons from you

I'm tired of your dead set eyes
And you reply
Ok
I feel like I'm in your way
You don't want me to stay
You don't want me to say
I LOVE YOU!!
So I'll go away like you want me to

But don't look for me, I won't be there
You couldn't show me you care
Your to caught up in your self
And I'm not gonna just sit on your shelf
Just for you to take down and play with
Maybe you will get the drift

I'll always care
But this was more than I could bear

The limbs grow, cover and cradle me
Like the arms of a forgotten lover
The maggots give me love bits as they slowly consume
The worms slither round about, in and out
Never again will my face wear a frown
Never again will I worry about zen
Or about how's and when's
This moss is my bed
Where I lay my weary head
Off to rest for eternity
Where the animal and insects show me love

Finally LOVE

All I crave is a human's touch
Is that asking to much
I don't mean ***
I'm not trying to vex
A touch on the hand
In passing you don't have to stand
A small little hug
My shoulders a rub
In touch in passing
Nothing that's lasting
I just won't to feel normal
As I rock in the corner

Will up pick me up when I fall
Or just sit there looking
Making me feel small
Will you roll your eyes
Then laugh at my pain
Your disgust you can't disguise
What has turned you so heartless
I'm forever begging your forgiveness
Although I've done nothing wrong
Take your knife and stick it in
Twist it round and round, up and down
All the while with that stupid grinn
**** me over make it hurt
I don't care
Kick me like dirt
It's only me you hurt
And what am I to you
Nothing, nothing at all
All I do is make you feel blue
And all you can say
is....ok

I'm a cutter can't you see the scars all in their lines
Can't you see the signs
It just means my life is less than bliss
And happiness is what I miss
I don't want your sympathy
It's more like let me be
I'm not gonna cover them
Much to your chagrin
If you don't want to see, don't look
But I won't dangle from your hook
I won't set upon your shelf like a book
I am who I am
Hope you understand

Demons coming near
They whisper in my ear fear
Fight for me please dear

I beg you please enter and leave your place of wonder
Come to me I call all darkness
In here you will be safe from the light

We have a new carcass
It will be so easy
We were invited
We can do what we want
We can not be cited

So here we will stay
Even though with all these demons we are cramped
You.can do anything
On her forehead she is stamped

If friendship is now where we might be able to stand
Know I am sorrow, please take my hand

I didn't know how deep your loved flowed
A short love story is all I let be told

I kneel on your shore, a great part of me ripped out
It was my fualt, so I'll just bow my head and cry and pout

Please don't take your friendship too
Because then there'll be nothing left, I'll be hollow and blue

I'll never know the depths of pain I put you through
I never ment for my darkness to scar you up too

And I'm afraid to ask for friendship, because there seems to be something my soul lacks.
And the void has been filled in with the darkness and the black

Plaese remember and never doubt, I Love you!!!
Because even though you tried to rip it away
My love for you still stayed

If this is the last we are to communicate
At lest I'll stand here and shout from the gate

I LOVE YOU!!!!♥♥♥♥

There was a young girl that her mom was always broke
At school she was the **** of all their jokes
Their words where so stark
It harrowed in the dark
Much to her chagrin
The words all sunk in
With her feelings on her sleeves
She did her best to please

Her mom loved her so
But with all her worries it didn't show
And she was working hard so they would have a place
She didn't notice the sadness of her daughters face
Or the cuts all lined up in their space

The kids at school thought it was fun
To ridicule her about how she was dumb
She felt so alone, so shunned
They made jokes about her hair
And the clothes she had to wear

They had one last ploy
I wonder if they knew it was her final joy
It was just the catalyst
On her very long list
It was her last hope to find true love, and some bliss
Instead of always feeling so lifeless
He asked her out, but stood her up
And that sorrow over followed her cup

On that night she made a choice
And decided to listen to that little voice
She cut up her wrist, and made a sad face on her throat
She wore that final red coat

They just keep gnawing on my bones
They're glassy eyed they look like drons
With a persistent chewing grinding away
It goes on all night and day
Teeth scraping on bone the sounds unnerving
They think my bones they are deserving
They just keep gnawing, and bitting through
But this is nothing very new
Teeth on bone, crunch crunch, crunch
Gnawing on me again for lunch