"i'm watching you, stupid *****." Madison pointed at pyper as the girls made there way out of the dining room. "thats enough madison." Cordelia scolded. Nan followed pyper up the stairs  into her bedroom. "why are you following me?" pyper asked, looking at nan in disgust. rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "you have madisons money." nan crossed her arms and smiled. "excuse me??" pyper replied as if she were offended by Nans accusation. "mhm, and you have zoeys sunglasses.., cassies ipod, and 25 dollars you stole from emilys purse. along with her art pencils." nan replied. "wow, you're A cleptomaniac." Nan laughed. "okay, how do you know all of this???" Pyper asked, her cheeks red from embarissment, and her head lowered in shame. "i'm psychic. i can read minds." nan explained. suddenly cassie walked past pypers room in search of her stolen ipod. "has anyone seen my pink ipod???" Cassie questioned, it was sitting on my bed, and now i can't find it anywhere. " she looked around hopelessly. "well then look in your room cassie. give me 5 minutes and i'll help you look." pyper shouted. "wow, you're a real piece of work arent you?" nan rolled her eyes and chuckled. "what is your angle, nan?" Pyper questioned, rolling her eyes aswell. saying names name as if she were mocking the whole idea of her. "my angle, PYPER. is this, you give everyone there **** back or i'm telling cordelia and you're out of here." Nan smerked. "you're not going to tell on me anyway?" pyper asked sadly. "no, not onless you do it again." nan sighed, "we stick together here, we're a family, we don't steele eachother down thats not what we're about." nan explained sympatheticly. "wow, thats funny because that's all my real family ever did." pyper replied with big sad puppy dog eyes. nan nodded, "i'm not here to listen to your ******* excuses or your sob stories. if saying that you've had a hard life, and never had anything given to you. and the world owes you.  helps you get to sleep at night then fine, cool beans. but i'm not buying that ****.  and these girls don't owe you anything. now, i expect everyone to have there **** back by the morning, or i will tell cordelia." nan sighed and rolled her eyes. "okay." pyper nodded with a wounded look upon her face. Cassie stood outside of the door, still listening. her eyebrows raised in anger. and then made her way up the stairs and into madisons room. "what are you doing here pipsquick. im NOT in the mood." Madison sobbed. "oh i think you're in the mood for this, i know who took your money." Cassie smiled.

fall was in the air and it was a very dreary october day. the halls of the old victorian house had been filled with new arivals and lots of noise.

"i can barely hear myself think." Madison sneered, a  cigarette in her hand  as she stood next to zoey and nan in the hallway. looking at the new girls with disguist. "and none of these new ******* better step on my toes. this isnt ******* hogwarts." she rolled her eyes. "hogwarts." zoey laughed, making nan laugh aswell. "if this were hogwarts, you would be draco malfoy" nan joked. "hardy har har." Madison snickered. "and you would be harry potters fat cousin because your ugly and nobody loves you." madison smiled. "well, i think it's great." zoey said cheerfully. "all of these girls would feel lost and alone and now they have somewhere to belong.". "you would say that." Madison rolled her eyes. suddenly a slightly younger girl with big green eyes and long brown hair and freckles rushed up to the three of them with a gleam in her eye. "oh my god it is you! you're madison montgomery!" the girl explained. " i love you! will you sign my back pack?" the girl turned around and Madison pulled a pink highlighter out of the side of her floral backpack. her face lit up as she wrote her name on the backpack making zoey and nan smile aswell. "thank you! thank you! thank you! you're my idol." the girl blushed. "my name is Cassie motts, i've seen all of your movies, i love you! i love you! i love you!" the girl giggled. "alright.." Madison had been taken back a step. "have a great day you little ******." she smiled, a look of confusion hung upon her face. "thank you.. you dont know how much this means to me." the girl explained cheerfully and walked away. "well ladies it looks like we're the head honchoes around this **** show." Madison sighed, still slightly smiling. "i was always the head honchoe." nan replied. "yeah, okay, right." zoey rolled her eyes and smiled at nan as the three made there way down the hall together.

the girls had been chattering and laughing in the dining room when suddenly nan, zoey, and madison charged in the room. making everyone stop and look at them. "Alright *******." Madison stood with her arms crossed and an enraged look in her dark brown eyes. "who the **** stole my money???" she questioned. the girls just sat there and looked at her quietly. "okay, none of you broke *** hos want to fess up? you're ballsy enough to take my **** but you're not ballsy enough to stand up to me? i see" Madison shouted. sadness and hostility in her eyes and voice.
"who took Madisons money? i wanna know right now!" Cassie stood up in anger. quickly rushing to Madisons aid. Madison nudged her alittle and rolled her eyes. Cassie folded her arms, mimicking exactly what Madison had been doing. "BROKE ***!!! HOESSSS!" Cassie screamed, pointing at all the girls. Pyper rolled her big blue eyes and flipped her long crimson red hair laughing, "nobody stole your money you idiot, you probably just misplaced it." she laughed, fearlessly looking madison straight in the eyes. which made nan look at  pyper very suspiciously as she read her mind. "hold my earrings please." Madison began to put her hair up in a bun. "what is going on in here?" Cordelia stormed in the room with her arms folded. "put your shoes on Madison." Cordelia looked at Madison in confusion. "nothing, Madisons spazing out because she thinks that someone took her money. and now she's getting all 'ghetto' and bent out of shape about it. taking her payless heels off like she's actually going to do something." pyper rolled her eyes and joked, making the rest of the girls laugh aswell. "payless? i only wear chanel." Madison flipped her hair. Nan looked Pyper in the eyes suspiciously, shaking her head from side to side. "i'm going to say this once and once only." cordelia shouted. "i will not have any fighting or steeling in this house. and if anyone is caught fighting or steeling, you will be expelled. it's a big bad world out there girls, up until now you've all lived very sheltered lives and i'd hate to send you out in it to fend for yourselves." Cordelia sighed. pyper got a very sad look in her eyes. "sheltered" she snickered, "right."
Nan looked at pyper sadly, still reading her mind.
"what are you looking at?" Pyper shouted at nan viciously.
"i'm not sure yet." Nan replied curiously.

evan peters,
your so fine.
i've seen your behind, atleast 4 times.
i think you should know that you're a dime.
will you be my valentine?

evan peters,
is one hell of a man,
he can even pull off lobster hands.
evan peters i am your  biggest fan.
i would love to tell you this over a can of spam.
but ****.
you're emmas man.

evan peters,
you're so fly,
you're bootylicious,i can't denie, to hell with shakira,
your hips do not lie,
american horror story, until the day i die!

here i sit, qlone and broken,
finaly my eyes are wide open,
it seems that i've been living in a dream.
my worst nightmare has come true.
the gleam in your eye is not for me,
but the destain in mine is for you.

you who con damsils in distress
with your fast talking lies, and your puppy dog eyes.
you, souless animal, monster in my disguise,
you are the one, i will forever despise.

as long as my heart goes on beating,
i will never open the doors for you,
i gave that key to somebody new,
after you toar my heart in two.

somebody amazing, who loves me,
cause i saw the light, you're nowher near a dark knight.
just an imposter, with a heart cold dark and ugly.

it seems that you
always have an excuse, for all of your lies,
neglect and abuse. there is a sob story behind
every mistake, you're turning me, into a pitaful catastrophe.
i dont know how much more this heavy heart can take.

does it help you get to sleep at night?
while its keeping me awake.
im slowly crumbling, i'm begining to break.

a gun to the head would be more merciful ,
then what you've done to me, a rusty dagger in
my back, and an aching in my heart.
you're killing me softly but slowly.

ottis ottis
with his nose up his ****,
just a low life bumb, an all american chump.
ottis ottis
he aint nothin but a punk.
he acts like a human and he smells like funk.

i just want to close my tired eyes,
and fly away.
dazed, amazed, i peacefuly gaze into space.
getting lost in purple haze,
i dream of better days.

floating on air,
nomore pain, or dispaire.
i dont care at all.
i just want to smile for a little while.
and blissfuly bounce off of these four walls.

¨oh cinderella¨ the prince called out cinderellas name lovingly filling her heart with fear. his call used to make her feel safe and secure. ¨what a fool i was¨she thought.  ¨now im going to die hereº ¨hello my dear¨ the prince sadisticly smiled. ¨hello.¨cinderella rolled her blue eyes coldly. ¨why the aditude cinderella? you know i don't like that. we're not going to get anywhere if you keep pushing me away like this. ¨ the prince raised his eyebrows sympathetically. cinderella shook her head in aggravation ¨dont you get it? i dont want to get anywhere with you. you are everything i hate about this god forsaken world.¨
the prince chuckled ¨it's so adorable when you try to act like you're smar cinderella. do you even know what the word godforsaken means??? he laughed. ¨your lack of wit is so very comical¨ he smiled as he began to walk away. ¨where are you going¨ cinderella called out. ¨into town. now dont you go anywhere.¨ he laughed. ¨i have to find a doctor who will come to the palace re–break your arm and put it in a cast for me.¨
¨break my arm?¨ cinderella jumped. ¨yes my dear it's not going to heal correctly that way now is it? see how difficult you make things cinderella? if you would have just stayed instead of trying to leave me with a broken heart then i wouldn't have had to break your arm and we wouldnt be in this situation. why? why cant you just let me love you?¨ the prince looked at cinderella sympathetocly as he turned away and slowly dissapeared into the darkness of the dungeon. cinderella wept uncontrolably.

i wish i may, i wish i might,
get high as a kite tonight. ♥♡♥♪

me and you,
we're sisters,
in more ways than one,
though, no one would would ever know.
when all is said and done.

maybe it was all of the damage,
that made everything so hard to manage.
& made it so easy for me to run.

sorry, it's not easy for me to forgive you,
and to have a better relationship with you,
but i love you deep down inside,
andwe've both made alot of mistakes through the years,
but i know that you tried.

maybe someday,
we'l be, just like the sisters on tv,
and you'l call me just to see how i am,
and we'l be closser you and me,
just like jackie and roseanne.

apreciate the world for all of its beauty,
& please dont dwell on all of the negativity,
eventhough society is cruel and ugly,
please remember my love, that you are lovely.

you're too young, to be so broken down and sad.
dont let bad people, make you feel so bad.

& i know, you have a million scars on your broken
heart, but its time to let it go, dont let toxic people tair you apart, its time to move on, be strong and let yourself grow.

lifes too short and too precious,
time flys by far too fast, dont destroy your
future, dwelling on your troublesome past.
hug more, fight less.
relax, and dont stress.
live every day like its going to be your last.

if i had a time machiene.
these are the things that i would tell myself.
at the age of seventeen.

"hey." kyle walked up and sat next to zoey on the front steps of the old house. the wind blowing through her long blonde hair. the sun shining on her face. her brown eyes shining. "hey" she grinned. "hows life as the butler treating you?" she smerked jokingly. "meh you know, it has its ups and downs... mostly downs. but i'm just glad i'm working for cordelia and not fiona. that way i can keep my tongue." kyle stuck his tongue out and licked zoeys face. "ew, you're so gross." zoey laughed, trying to get away from kyle. "pfft, whatever, you liked it." kyle rolled his eyes and nudged zoey. "hey." zoey nudged kyle back and smiled. "you know, i'm really happy i met you zoey. even if i did have to die and be sewn back together with parts that didn't belong to me. i would go through it all again just to be with you." kyle looked zoey in the eyes very seriously. zoey laughed "you're a *******." she blushed.
"no i'm serious, i love you." he smiled, blushing. "i love you too." zoey melted. "what was with all the drama in the dining room this morning?" Kyle asked. "oh just madison being madison." zoey laughed. "oh, i hate it when she does that." kyle smiled and joked. "yeah, me too." zoey agreed and smiled.  

"alright, lets do this." cassie walked into madisons room with a skie mask and gloves on. the ski mask had a creepy mouth on it, that resembled an evil clowns mouth. "really you're wearing a ski mask? this isn't mission impossible." Madison shook her head. "yeah, but i liked the creepy clown mouth. and, i havent gotten to wear this yet." cassie explained. "well i can't be seen with you wearing that weird ugly thing." Madison pulled the ski mask off, making her hair stand on the top of her head. "sorry madison, you're right." cassie quickly patted her hair down. "this is so ugly and weird, i don't know what i was thinking." cassie threw the ski mask down on madisons bed. "can i have a ciggarette?" cassie questioned. "you smoke ciggarettes?" madison asked. "pfft, ya. all the time. i'm a big smoker." Cassie replied as madison handed her a ciggarette and a lighter. cassie lit the ciggarette and as soon as she inhaled she began to cough. "there is nothing like." cassie coughed "a good cigarette." she coughed again. "alright, bleach ready.. pepper spray ready, itching powder ready, and nair ready." Madison smiled as she held up a bottle of nair. "you know she deserves much more than this, we're really doing her a favor. she should be thanking us for this" cassie replied with a ciggarette in one hand, and her hand on her hip, trying to mock madisons posture once again. "this is true, now go downstairs and see if the coast is clear." madison replied. "no problem." cassie put her thumb up and coughed once again, looking back sadly at the clown ski mask as she exited the room with a cigarette in hand.

i was far too kind,
i was far too blind,
insignificant in your eyes,
and it didn't register at all
in my mind.

you're so pretentious and cold,
you think that you're so deep.
you say that i sold you out,
& that i'm just a brainwashed
sheep.

you're only compassionate
when it's convenient for you,
if anyone knows that, it's me.
just a selfish *****, a low life ****,
with a **** personality,
no integrity, or originality.


you will never be kurt cobain,
or layne staley..., sorry to crush your dreams....
but you're just another clone,
in a flannel jacket,  and ripped jeans...

you rant on and on
about what's right and wrong,
please give me a break,
and no, you're not edgar allen poe...
you're just a ******, with an over inflated ego...
you're so low, and fake.

Cassie walked up the stairs and into her new room, her new roomate sitting on the bed and writing in her journal. her long black hair in a side braid, wearing a purple flannel jacket and ripped jeans. "guess who i just met? you're not gonna believe it." cassie said, almost singing. "who?" Emily rolled her eyes. "madison montgomery, she gave me her autography and everything." cassie joyfuly explained. "madison montgomery? isn't she like some grade d lifetime movie actress or something? what is she doing here?" Emily shook her head and rolled her eyes as she doodled a picture on the notepad. "that cuts me deeply that you would say that about madison, she's my friend you know." Cassie touched her cheast, as if she had been cut by this very deeply. "okay?" Emily shook her head "she is a witch like us and is most certainly NOT  a grade d actress." cassie explained.  "i really like it here, you know? i never really had friends at my old highschool.. everyone thought i was weird or annoying." Cassie sighed. "did they?" emily replied sarcasticly. "well yea, thats why i had to get rid of all of them. " cassie sighed once again, shaking her head and staring into space. " sometimes i lay awake and i can still hear them." Emilys eyes and mouth widened as she looked up from her notebook very slowly. "what do you mean, you got rid of them?" Emily asked. "ohhh nevermind..! it's a really long story and i come out looking pretty bad in it" Cassie giggled, making emilys stomache turn.  her eyes still wide and filled with fear.

Cassie walked down the stairs and imediently ran into pyper "oh dang" she spoke nervously. almost bumping into her. "how are you doing this evening pyper?" she tried to keep her cool. "i'm good." pyper replied. "i went into your room and found your ipod." pyper handed cassie over the pink ipod. "you did?" cassie smiled. "well that was really sweet of you to go out of your way like that." cassie grinned. "what a kind person you are." she added. "yeah, i guess." pyper nodded and sighed. "got any plans for the night?" cassie asked in a friendly tone. "well i was going to go out walking for awhile." pyper sighed. "i'll be back in about a half an hour."
"perfect!" cassie grinned.
"what?" pyper asked in confusion and agravation.
"i'm just saying your perfect, i wish i looked like you. you're like an american dream." cassie lied.
"um, ok? cya around cassie." pyper sulked down the hallway. she looked very tired and sad and her hands were shaking. and she had her hands in the pocket of her leather jacket like she had been cold. "cya around pyper." cassie patted pyper on the back and smiled."
"don't touch me!" pyper snapped.
"alright." cassie backed away cautiously with her hands up.

cinderella layed in a dark and cold prison. awaiting her husband, her tormentor, and her captures return, tears rapidly falling down her rosie red cheeks as she looked at her broken arm. ¨
why would you run away from me like that? now look at you... your arm is broken.¨ she remembered him shouting. ¨you're pathetic.¨ staring at the rusty bars she began to feel hopeless. on the outside she had been silently broken but on the inside she felt as if she were screaming. screaming from the pain, screaming from the betrayal and deceit. screaming because what she had believed to be her dream come true had become nothing but a complete and absolute nightmare. screaming because she had fallen in love with a fairytale. a lie, a predator, a munipulator, a monster. how could i let myself fall in love with someone so incredibly evil? she thought. maybe i wanted to believe in him. maybe i felt as if i needed too. to believe in someone or something. to be rescued. i think that he sinced that  about me. that i wanted to be saved by someone or something so he descised himself as my savior.. and i believed in him. and now here i am. maybe he was right, maybe i was pathetic and naive. maybe i just hoped that i had finaly found what i had been waiting so long for and that all of my years of crushing lonliness and longing for something more had finaly been over. but it was all a lie. and now im going to have to find a way to save myself.

Madison and cassie snuck down the steps and into pypers room, quietly closing the door and locking it. "what happens if someone knocks?" cassie asked. "like anybody would even knock on her door"  Madison rolled her eyes as she opened Pypers closet. "this is cute." she grabbed a black hoodie with a lepard printed skull on the front. ill take this she grabed a white frilly vintage dress with a brown belt on it. "the rest of these clothes are more than likely from the free store." Madison poured bleach all over the clothes & pink bed spread while cassie poured pepper spray into her perfumes and face wash. Madison smiled as she lifted pypers matress. "syringes." Madison picked the two syringes up along with a black belt that had been hidden underneath pypers matress and smiled. "guess whos not getting high tonight *****." she placed them in a ******* bag she had across her shoulder. cassie then put itching powder in pypers bras and her pillow cases. then putting nair in her shampoo. "alright, lets get out of here." Madison whuspered and the too of them unlocked the door then locked it back and quickly snuck back to there rooms. 25 minutes laighter the too laughed as they heard a pounding coming from downstairs. "what the ****?" pyper screamed. "my door is locked." she slambed her fist into the door. "seriously." she turned the **** multiple times. "whats going on? did you lock yourself out pyper?" Cassie asked as if she had been confused. "no i didnt locked myself out you spastic ******." Pyper hissed. cordelia then rushed down the stairs in a panic. "it is 11 0clock at night what is going on?" she asked with concern and worry. "someone locked me out of my room thats whats going on. like an immature 12 year old MADISON!" Pyper shouted. which only made Madison laugh as she listened from upstairs in her bedroom. "i have an extra key, we'l talk about this is the morning. i had a dream that i had been having dinner with kurt cobain and ryan gossling and then ryan gossling opened his mouth and your screams came out pyper.... sorry, i'm half asleep." cordelia tried to  explain as she made her way up the steps and into her office . "what happened to your key pyper?" cordelia asked, sounding concerned and worried, and still in a bit of a fog. "it's locked in my room." pyper smiled sarcasticly.  "well don't lose this one." cordelia handed the key over to pyper and walked back to her room. "dumb *****" she sighed and yawned as she closed the door. "just pure dumb *****." pyper could still hear cordelia from outside of the door.

cinderella looked out of a tiny window covered with steele bars. the sun brightly shining through, the sky a beautiful pinkish purple. she wondered if she would ever feel the warmth of the sunlight again as she touched the window. she looked down at what used to be a gorgeous blue gown, now tattered and toarn. she touched the fabric softly remembering how her eyes shined when she first saw it. & the struggle that ruined it. her eyes began to swell up with tears. ¨i cant take this much more¨ she thought. ¨i wont...¨ she decided, her sad eyes and broken heart now filled with rage and hostility. her shaking hands now clinched in fists. ¨i will be just as mad, limitless, and unhumane as he is. i will be decieving, cold and cruel. and i won't feel anything about it. ill treat him like a doormat instead of a person just like he treated me. the only difference will be that i will not allow him to live.¨

¨we will see who is dim witted.¨

you're aching, and tragicly breaking.
living your life in dispair.
your praying, and you're waiting,
for someone who doesnt care,
he was never really there.

you're burning, and you're yearning,
for him to come through,
stop wasting all your time on him,
and just start loving you.

"what are you drawing?" Cassie asked curiously as she leaned over to try and look at Emilys notebook. emily quickly picked the notebook up and held it to her cheast. "it's private, sorry."  
"oh thats okay i understand." Cassie nodded.
"can i ask you a question emily?" Cassie questioned, a sad look in her eyes.
"yeah, sure." Emily replied nervously.
"you... don't think i'm 'weird' or 'annoying' or anything do you?" Cassie looked Emily in the eyes filling her with chills.
"oh of course not." Emily nervously lied.
"thats great." cassie grinned from ear to ear. "because i'd hate to think that, i know that my personality can be a bit much sometimes but thats just me, i'm just kinda OUT THERE." Cassie explained, her eyes wide and her hands up in the air.
"yes, you are." Emily replied, gulping.
"well, i'm going to breakfast. cya." Casssie skipped away cheerfully.
Emily took a deep breath and sighed, looking down at the picture in her notepad. it had been a picture of Cassie talking and Emily tying a noose to hang herself with.

crackheads crackheads
gonna rob your house,
gonna sneak into your bedroom
as quiet as a mouse,
gonna steele all your jewlery,
your dog and your blouse

crackheads crackheads
twerkin in a thong
u should have locked your door u *****,
now your computers gone

wide eyed and skinny
high without a penny


run for the hills..
hide all your dollar bills and your
perscription pills
cause theyre out to steele
they've started to get the chills

you see everything as gray, while i see black and white.
a cherade you play, pretending to be some kind of crusador for what is right. whatever helps you sleep at night.
while i'm being kept awake by bad dreams, ripping at the seams it seems
you've stolen my only light, you act like you're some kind of saint but i know thats far from true, you're only kind and sincere when it's convienient for you.

my scarred and broken heart, is surrounded by barbed wire.
tell me that you love me, and ill swear that you're a liar.
ive been wounded so many times, that my trust has been destroyed.
along with my sanity. so cynical, and paranoid. 
 
i walk through this cold and crooked world, with anger in my tired eyes,
my hand clinched in a fist, i live a sad and lonely life, in your eyes i barely even exist, i feel like a shell-shocked soldier, just waiting, and praying for the battle to be over, but it all just feels so hopeless. constantly weighed down by this chip on my shoulder.
always keeping you at bay, please dont blame me, it's society, that has tragicly taught me to be this way, please stay.

"yeah... i know who took my money too. that ***** pyper, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure it out she jumped up to defend herself as soon as i said something." Madison replied tiredly, taking a ciggarette out and lighting it as she sat on the her black canopy bed. a picture of marilyn monroe and kurt cobain hanging on her bedroom wall. "so, what are your plans for revenge?" Cassie raised an eyebrow. "i'm debating on whether i should put raid in her perfume bottle, or nair in her shampoo." Madison replied casualy as she stared out of her bedroom window. "isnt raid poisonus?" cassie questioned.
"yep." Madison shook her head and grinned.
"she is a cockroach, seems pretty fitting to me..." she continued.
"hmmm... what about, pepper spray in her face wash?" Cassie replied with her hand upon her chin.
"i think i like the way you think cassandra motts." Madison smiled sadisticly, an evil twinkle in her eye.

.
we were meant to be soldiers in a dark army,
we were meant to write poetry and get lost in sad melodies,
we were meant to start contraversy, you and me. we were
meant to be wild and free you see.

we were meant to think,       when other minds go blank.
we were meant to have strong opinions and beautiful visions.
we were meant to be empathetic, crazy, chaotic, and poetic.
and maybe they dont understand you,
but wherever you may roam, just know that you are beautiful,
and you are not alone.

i like nintendo, and i like bud,
i like music, and paul rudd.

i don't need your judgements,
i can't stand this place,
& the next person that rubs me the wrong way,
is gonna get punched in the face,
oh you''re just a waste of time and space,
same person, different face, sometimes i think
i hate the human race.

i don't need your ego,
i don't need your lies,
and i don't need your approval,
see, it's you that i despise.

shallow and hollow, ignorant and weak,,
i'd rather live in silence then listen to you speak,
arguing with you is like screaming at a brick wall,
you look at us like we're freaks, you don't understand
us at all...

so closed minded and cruel, just a bunch of brainwashed clones,
i will not follow the herd, mark my words, i would rather walk alone.

"charlotte, are you ok?" my father questions. i'm looking up at the television, still stunned. it cant be. she was found dead on the scene, she had a severe lung infection, and inhaled far too much of the smoke from the fire. she didn't make it out of that apartment building alive, but i saw her... "um..i'm fine, just rediculously clumsy thats all." i nervously lie, quickly grabbing a broom and sweeping up the glass. and my father looks at me like i'm some kind of alien from outer space that he can no longer reach anymore. and somes i wonder if there is anything to reach for. maybe i'm just a mouse going through a maze that never ends, always hoping my piece of cheese will be around the corner but only finding another berrier or a path way that is going to lead me absolutely nowhere.

paranoid chapter 1


Charlottes p.o.v

i cry until im sick, coughing and short of breath. i cry hysterically. i feel like i have been hit in the chest with a stray bullet. and i dont look up until i can't feel him there anymore. eventhough i know deep inside that the illousion of charlie will come back, it always comes back... nomatter where i am. busses, street corners, asylums. mom and dad think that if we move far away that everything will change. that i'll stop seeing charlie. that i'll be 'miraculously cured'. that they'l finaly have there daughter back. and that they will finaly be able to move on, and stop grieving the loss of their only son. i don't blame them, everything in the old house reminds me of charlie, too. but i know that when we move that nothing will change, that theres no hope for me, that i'm just as dead as he is. but thats not what hurts the most. what hurts the most is knowing that i'm going to let them down, and destroy any little bit of hope that they might have had for me. i am nothing but a burden. and there is nothing that i can do about it. i cry until im tired, and i slip into a deep sleep.

she searched for him in crowded cafes,
a man who would love her for the rest of her days.
he would be a poet, honest and wise.
she thought that she had found him, behind sad
brown eyes, but all of this guys, poetry and promises,
they were nothing but awful lies...,

she went through hell, searching for him.
so many imposters standing in the way,
they told her that she was the one, but none,
had seemed to stay. and when she finally found
him. she was sure that he would leave.
and when he told her that he loved her,
she did not believe,
at first. she didn't think that they would stay
together, she was so sure that he would find
someone to replace her, someone that he liked
much better,
because she was always second best.
because nothing ever lasts forever...

but summer turned to fall, and he broke down all her walls.
he wasn't a poet, but he was brave and beautiful.
his big brown eyes  they weren't sad at all.., they gleamed
like moon beams. they were the two most beautiful eyes that
she had ever saw...
and those eyes put the light back in hers,
he never filled them with sorrow, he helped her grow.
he didn't weigh her down with negativity, you see, he loved her
and he always let her know

finally finding a heart to call home,
she would no longer suffer,
because she didn;t just find him,
the two had found one another.

Bailey sat at the kitchen table. stiring her coffee and staring out of a ***** bay window at an old apple tree covered in snow. "i guess that all of the birds have flown south for the winter." she sighed, hugging herself as the cold wind blew through her. "who cares about those disgusting rats with wings anways?" jacob rolled his eyes and guzzled his coffee down, finishing it all with one big gulp. "i do, they're beautiful." bailey argued. "you used to love birds." she continued. "i used to love birds... before you started feeding them all of the bread." jacob complained with a playful smile. "besides i love voltures and falcons." he smiled. "i feed the birds old bread that nobody wants... and of course you do." B ailey shook her head, grinning from ear to ear.

i sit in the passenger side of my dads old beat up chevy. it's early october and the rain is pooring down hard, i will be 18 soon. my fathers eyes widen and he stretches out his neck as we stumble upon a burning building. "looks like there must have been some kind of accident." he says sympatheticly. there are fire trucks and ambulances. people surround the building in tears, some wrapped up in blankets, and some hugging one another. but there is one woman who looks very lost, and out of place. she stares up at the building in confusion. her hair is very long and itlooks as if she hasnt brushed it in weeks. her skin is very pail and she wears a pink nightgown, covered in flowers. she looks very feeble and fragile, and as if she might be in her laight 80s. "she didnt make it" someone in the crowd crys out.  the woman stands out, like she's in a fog. and the crowd doesnt even notice her presence as they console one another. the woman turns and looks at me and my father as we slowly drive by. her stare is eerie and unsettling. something about her presence makes my heart feel heavy. and i can't seem to shake the feeling even after she is nolonger in sight. i look back at her, and she's still watching me.  i raise an eyebrow and turn my head back around and sigh. "how terrible."

chapter one. moving on and moving in.

Charlottes long crimson red hair hung over her face as she wrote in her journal. sitting on her queen sized bed infront of her bedroom window. a cold gust of wind blew through her long locks, sending chills up and down her spine. then she saw him.. sitting in an old apple tree infront of the house. the same apple tree that they had played in together as children, with the old tire swing hanging from it. charlie sitting there, and staring at her sympatheticly, with a dull wave. like nothing ever happened. like he hadn't been dead for 2 years. as she stared out of the window, her heart pounding, her hands trembling , to paralysed with fear to even scream, or run. she watched him mouth the words "i'm sorry." as he hung his head in shame, nervously kicking his feet back and fourth. Charlotte gasped and quickly slambed the window shut. her big green eyes swelling up with tears she placed her head in her trembling hands and began to sob uncontrollably. suddenly she felt a presence in the room and a cold finger tapping her shoulder. too terrified to look up, she closed her crying eyes and burried her head in her hands as she felt a cold hand pat her on the shoulder. and then she heard a very faint voice cry out  "i'm sorry."

it's not right,
it's not okay,
the way you judge, and hate,
the awful things you do and say...
you look down on me, with no sympathy,
but i would never treat someone the way you
treat me, its absurd. & i could never be that way...

i would never go, to the lengths that you will go.
i could never stoop so low. could never stoop so low.
and i dont know, where you get off having such a big ego,
maybe you're just tripping from the blow.

he is my adiction.
he makes me feel so high.
i feel like im on morphine,
when i look into his eyes.

just to feel his embrace, and
touch his face, makes me feel
like i, can touch the sky.
he has changed my life,
and ill love him until the day i die.

he is the light in the darkness.
with all of the love and wisdom that he shares.
he is the reason why i keep on breathing, and
believing, hes the anwser to my prayers.

hes the twinkle in my eyes.
my shelter, from the rain,
he is the love of my life,
and that will never change.

no we're not married,
but i'll love you untill i'm dead and buried.
just us against the world, no one can tair us apart.
you brought me out of the dark.

i love you in the rain, i love you in the sun,
i love you in a hurricane, you are the only one.
your smile is like a sunset, your laugh is like a song,
your heart feels just like home to me,
your kiss is like a symphony,
in your arms is where i belong.

your touch makes me blush, sometimes i feel like i cant breathe,
your love is the best gift i will ever recieve.

my father sighs "it is terrible, all of those people have lost their homes now... we should be thankful that we have a roof over our heads and clothes to put on our backs, im sure that all of rheir belongins were damaged in that fire." i nod sadly. he has a devistated look in his eyes, my father cares deeply for others. hes very sensitive and things effect him alot more than others. i guess thats where me and charlie got it from, because now i have the same devistated look in my eyes. "did you see the little old woman with the pink nightgown on?" i question. "she looked so lost."
"no, i didn't see an old woman." my father replys with a look of confusion, devistation, and concern. "how could you not see her? she stuck out like a sore thumb." i sadly reply. "she kept watching us..."
"charlotte." my father turns and looks into my eyes, his voice is calm but very serious and stern and he looks shocked and bewildered "there was no little old woman."

go on and walk away, there is noting more that i can say,
i never mattered to you anyway.

treat me like a stranger, treat me like a joke,
when my heart is in danger, and all my dreams
gone up in smoke.
make me feel like a fool for ever believing in you,
oh how you laugh and you poke.

i remember when i was your bestfriend,
although it was long ago, when you said
that i became someone that you didn't wish to  know.
i remember all the screaming and the sorrow
that happened after, smoking on the train tracks,
the long phone calls and the laughter,
you were the whole book to me, but to you
i was just a chapter, i remember when you left
me, a broken disaster.

i remember when you told me that i would
see you soon, you crying in the car, when my heart
bursted like a baloon. i still remember all the talks we
had, the friendship, the madness and regret, but that
friendship was lost a long time ago.
i just hadn't grasped it yet.
i guess that i didn't realise that i was so
easy for you to just forget.
all this time i thought you cared,
because of all of the things that we shared,
i guess i should have known, and should have
gotten it through my head, when you let them taunt me
on the phone, and said you wouldn't care if i were dead.

when i was lost, looking for an anwser,
restless and unsure,
i had never felt more insecure.
maybe this person that i'm remembering
was never, who you really were.

ok i started this short story called paranoid? in october, i didnt like the turn i made it take and i decided to rewrite some of it. it's about this girl who can see the paranormal, but everyone thinks that she is insane including herself. her twin brother died at a young age and they were very closs, he needs to move on to the other side but in order to do this he needs her to move on and find herself so he visits her frequently and she thinks that it is all an illusion. i know that this is not ever going to be a best seller or anything but i decided that i want to keep writing it because i reall enjoy writing stories. so if you want to read any of my stories i'm going to put them in the collections. Any feedback would be very apreciated, thank you.

what has the world come to?
people nowadays are so shameless and sadistic,
im not trying to be negative, im just being realilistic.
it seems like humans are losing there humanity,
what have we become?
nothing but abunch of animals. with no heart, soul, or integrity, and no boundries, not a single one.

it seems no place is safe anymore,
and the future is very bleak,
society, your so
blissfuly ignorant, makes me feel so
hopeless, that theres no way that i can control this, makes me feel so angry, sad, and weak.

sometimes i just want to throw in the towel and give in,
this is not the world, that i want my future children to live in.

drunk with power.
he shot his gun, hit the
pavement, and began to run.
shouting lies. another unarmed man dies.
now his family grieves and cries,
look at all of the damage you have done.

he knew his rights, he didn't want to fight,
or follow your commands, he didn't deserve to die.
so tell me why,  his  blood is  on your hands..

he didn't even get to say goodbye,
he didn't know that that would be his last car ride.
he will never see another day.
all because you couldn't just let him drive away.

I'M PRETTY HIGH YOU GUYS,
I'M NOT TELLING LIES, OR
CRACKING WISE.
I'M STARTING TO GET STARS IN
MY DIALATED EYES.

I'M GOING TO TAKE A WALK OUTSIDE
BUT I COULDN'T WALK A STRAIGHT LINE,
HOPE NO ONE NOTICES I SMELL LIKE ****,
INDEED, I'M FEELING PRETTY FINE.
AND IF YOU WANT TO BRING ME DOWN,
I'LL SAY 'NICE TRY TO SWINE.'
BECAUSE YOU CAN FALL IN LINE,
I'M FLOATING ON CLOUD NINE.

i love the freckles on your back,
the way you smile and just stare,
making me feel like i'm walking on air,
i love that goofy way you laugh.

driving around with you and acting stupid,
losing track of time, the amazing feeling that i get,
when your lips touch mine.

lying next to you,
feeling safe in your embrace,
i feel like my heart has finaly found a home,
blissfuly lost in time and space.

you, are the sid to my nancy.
the glen to my maggie.
you're the david to my darlene.
the ***** in my soda
the peanut butter to my jelly.
you came into my life like a beautiful sunset
after a tornado, and you never cease to amaze me.

& you're better than anything i've ever ever dreamed of my love,
it's our 2 year aniversary, and i've never felt so passionate, safe,
beautiful or happy. then i do, dancing & laughing with you. bullshitting and being lazy, smiling from ear to ear, shouting at random peole,
acting dumb having fun and being crazy, ane i pray that it's this way for an eternity, because nothing is better than when you and i are together,
or the way those big brown eyes light up when you look at me. i'm so happy that you're my baby.

i took a handfull of pills one day
hoping i would fly away,
and see jesus face to face,
escaping this god forsaken place.
i thought that it would set me free,
from being a living tragedy.
but i began to feel very sick.
i felt as if i had been hit in the head with a brick.
my stomache turned, and i began to cry.
i never really wanted to die. but now im gone.
and im never coming back.
daddys at my funeral, all toarn up and dressed in black. 
mom is busy crying, she would give the world, anything to get back her dear baby girl.
and i rot away, and all of my hopes anddreams they do too..., because i made a big mistake, thatno one could undo.
all of the plans that god had made for me, tragicly erased.all of my potential, has now gone to waste.
i never really wanted to die, i just wanted to end this pain, i guess that i thought that life, was nothing but a game.

when your heart is filled with fright,
but you scream with delight,
you know that it must be halloween night!