"i'm watching you, stupid *****." Madison pointed at pyper as the girls made there way out of the dining room. "thats enough madison." Cordelia scolded. Nan followed pyper up the stairs  into her bedroom. "why are you following me?" pyper asked, looking at nan in disgust. rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "you have madisons money." nan crossed her arms and smiled. "excuse me??" pyper replied as if she were offended by Nans accusation. "mhm, and you have zoeys sunglasses.., cassies ipod, and 25 dollars you stole from emilys purse. along with her art pencils." nan replied. "wow, you're A cleptomaniac." Nan laughed. "okay, how do you know all of this???" Pyper asked, her cheeks red from embarissment, and her head lowered in shame. "i'm psychic. i can read minds." nan explained. suddenly cassie walked past pypers room in search of her stolen ipod. "has anyone seen my pink ipod???" Cassie questioned, it was sitting on my bed, and now i can't find it anywhere. " she looked around hopelessly. "well then look in your room cassie. give me 5 minutes and i'll help you look." pyper shouted. "wow, you're a real piece of work arent you?" nan rolled her eyes and chuckled. "what is your angle, nan?" Pyper questioned, rolling her eyes aswell. saying names name as if she were mocking the whole idea of her. "my angle, PYPER. is this, you give everyone there **** back or i'm telling cordelia and you're out of here." Nan smerked. "you're not going to tell on me anyway?" pyper asked sadly. "no, not onless you do it again." nan sighed, "we stick together here, we're a family, we don't steele eachother down thats not what we're about." nan explained sympatheticly. "wow, thats funny because that's all my real family ever did." pyper replied with big sad puppy dog eyes. nan nodded, "i'm not here to listen to your ******* excuses or your sob stories. if saying that you've had a hard life, and never had anything given to you. and the world owes you.  helps you get to sleep at night then fine, cool beans. but i'm not buying that ****.  and these girls don't owe you anything. now, i expect everyone to have there **** back by the morning, or i will tell cordelia." nan sighed and rolled her eyes. "okay." pyper nodded with a wounded look upon her face. Cassie stood outside of the door, still listening. her eyebrows raised in anger. and then made her way up the stairs and into madisons room. "what are you doing here pipsquick. im NOT in the mood." Madison sobbed. "oh i think you're in the mood for this, i know who took your money." Cassie smiled.

Madison and cassie snuck down the steps and into pypers room, quietly closing the door and locking it. "what happens if someone knocks?" cassie asked. "like anybody would even knock on her door"  Madison rolled her eyes as she opened Pypers closet. "this is cute." she grabbed a black hoodie with a lepard printed skull on the front. ill take this she grabed a white frilly vintage dress with a brown belt on it. "the rest of these clothes are more than likely from the free store." Madison poured bleach all over the clothes & pink bed spread while cassie poured pepper spray into her perfumes and face wash. Madison smiled as she lifted pypers matress. "syringes." Madison picked the two syringes up along with a black belt that had been hidden underneath pypers matress and smiled. "guess whos not getting high tonight *****." she placed them in a ******* bag she had across her shoulder. cassie then put itching powder in pypers bras and her pillow cases. then putting nair in her shampoo. "alright, lets get out of here." Madison whuspered and the too of them unlocked the door then locked it back and quickly snuck back to there rooms. 25 minutes laighter the too laughed as they heard a pounding coming from downstairs. "what the ****?" pyper screamed. "my door is locked." she slambed her fist into the door. "seriously." she turned the **** multiple times. "whats going on? did you lock yourself out pyper?" Cassie asked as if she had been confused. "no i didnt locked myself out you spastic ******." Pyper hissed. cordelia then rushed down the stairs in a panic. "it is 11 0clock at night what is going on?" she asked with concern and worry. "someone locked me out of my room thats whats going on. like an immature 12 year old MADISON!" Pyper shouted. which only made Madison laugh as she listened from upstairs in her bedroom. "i have an extra key, we'l talk about this is the morning. i had a dream that i had been having dinner with kurt cobain and ryan gossling and then ryan gossling opened his mouth and your screams came out pyper.... sorry, i'm half asleep." cordelia tried to  explain as she made her way up the steps and into her office . "what happened to your key pyper?" cordelia asked, sounding concerned and worried, and still in a bit of a fog. "it's locked in my room." pyper smiled sarcasticly.  "well don't lose this one." cordelia handed the key over to pyper and walked back to her room. "dumb *****" she sighed and yawned as she closed the door. "just pure dumb *****." pyper could still hear cordelia from outside of the door.

"yeah... i know who took my money too. that ***** pyper, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure it out she jumped up to defend herself as soon as i said something." Madison replied tiredly, taking a ciggarette out and lighting it as she sat on the her black canopy bed. a picture of marilyn monroe and kurt cobain hanging on her bedroom wall. "so, what are your plans for revenge?" Cassie raised an eyebrow. "i'm debating on whether i should put raid in her perfume bottle, or nair in her shampoo." Madison replied casualy as she stared out of her bedroom window. "isnt raid poisonus?" cassie questioned.
"yep." Madison shook her head and grinned.
"she is a cockroach, seems pretty fitting to me..." she continued.
"hmmm... what about, pepper spray in her face wash?" Cassie replied with her hand upon her chin.
"i think i like the way you think cassandra motts." Madison smiled sadisticly, an evil twinkle in her eye.

"hey." kyle walked up and sat next to zoey on the front steps of the old house. the wind blowing through her long blonde hair. the sun shining on her face. her brown eyes shining. "hey" she grinned. "hows life as the butler treating you?" she smerked jokingly. "meh you know, it has its ups and downs... mostly downs. but i'm just glad i'm working for cordelia and not fiona. that way i can keep my tongue." kyle stuck his tongue out and licked zoeys face. "ew, you're so gross." zoey laughed, trying to get away from kyle. "pfft, whatever, you liked it." kyle rolled his eyes and nudged zoey. "hey." zoey nudged kyle back and smiled. "you know, i'm really happy i met you zoey. even if i did have to die and be sewn back together with parts that didn't belong to me. i would go through it all again just to be with you." kyle looked zoey in the eyes very seriously. zoey laughed "you're a *******." she blushed.
"no i'm serious, i love you." he smiled, blushing. "i love you too." zoey melted. "what was with all the drama in the dining room this morning?" Kyle asked. "oh just madison being madison." zoey laughed. "oh, i hate it when she does that." kyle smiled and joked. "yeah, me too." zoey agreed and smiled.  

"alright, lets do this." cassie walked into madisons room with a skie mask and gloves on. the ski mask had a creepy mouth on it, that resembled an evil clowns mouth. "really you're wearing a ski mask? this isn't mission impossible." Madison shook her head. "yeah, but i liked the creepy clown mouth. and, i havent gotten to wear this yet." cassie explained. "well i can't be seen with you wearing that weird ugly thing." Madison pulled the ski mask off, making her hair stand on the top of her head. "sorry madison, you're right." cassie quickly patted her hair down. "this is so ugly and weird, i don't know what i was thinking." cassie threw the ski mask down on madisons bed. "can i have a ciggarette?" cassie questioned. "you smoke ciggarettes?" madison asked. "pfft, ya. all the time. i'm a big smoker." Cassie replied as madison handed her a ciggarette and a lighter. cassie lit the ciggarette and as soon as she inhaled she began to cough. "there is nothing like." cassie coughed "a good cigarette." she coughed again. "alright, bleach ready.. pepper spray ready, itching powder ready, and nair ready." Madison smiled as she held up a bottle of nair. "you know she deserves much more than this, we're really doing her a favor. she should be thanking us for this" cassie replied with a ciggarette in one hand, and her hand on her hip, trying to mock madisons posture once again. "this is true, now go downstairs and see if the coast is clear." madison replied. "no problem." cassie put her thumb up and coughed once again, looking back sadly at the clown ski mask as she exited the room with a cigarette in hand.

Cassie walked down the stairs and imediently ran into pyper "oh dang" she spoke nervously. almost bumping into her. "how are you doing this evening pyper?" she tried to keep her cool. "i'm good." pyper replied. "i went into your room and found your ipod." pyper handed cassie over the pink ipod. "you did?" cassie smiled. "well that was really sweet of you to go out of your way like that." cassie grinned. "what a kind person you are." she added. "yeah, i guess." pyper nodded and sighed. "got any plans for the night?" cassie asked in a friendly tone. "well i was going to go out walking for awhile." pyper sighed. "i'll be back in about a half an hour."
"perfect!" cassie grinned.
"what?" pyper asked in confusion and agravation.
"i'm just saying your perfect, i wish i looked like you. you're like an american dream." cassie lied.
"um, ok? cya around cassie." pyper sulked down the hallway. she looked very tired and sad and her hands were shaking. and she had her hands in the pocket of her leather jacket like she had been cold. "cya around pyper." cassie patted pyper on the back and smiled."
"don't touch me!" pyper snapped.
"alright." cassie backed away cautiously with her hands up.

evan peters,
your so fine.
i've seen your behind, atleast 4 times.
i think you should know that you're a dime.
will you be my valentine?

evan peters,
is one hell of a man,
he can even pull off lobster hands.
evan peters i am your  biggest fan.
i would love to tell you this over a can of spam.
but ****.
you're emmas man.

evan peters,
you're so fly,
you're bootylicious,i can't denie, to hell with shakira,
your hips do not lie,
american horror story, until the day i die!

hold on, be strong.
dry your tears my dear.
this is not where you belong.

and all along they had you all wrong.
all along they had you all wrong.

you say it's getting hard just to cope,
you've lost all hope and you're at the end of your rope,
you can't put the broken pieces back together,
and you don't think that it will ever get better.
all your dreams gone up in smoke.

don't let go, don't give in to the sorrow,
there is hope for a better tomorrow,
please don't cry, i hear you say your
ugly, but you know that your lovely,
and that it's an ugly lie.

just keep your head up, and you will
get through, don't let other people get to you,
i know they do, just breathe and believe,
don't give up, just let go, there is so much more
for you, but if you walk away, you'l never know.

what has the world come to?
people nowadays are so shameless and sadistic,
im not trying to be negative, im just being realilistic.
it seems like humans are losing there humanity,
what have we become?
nothing but abunch of animals. with no heart, soul, or integrity, and no boundries, not a single one.

it seems no place is safe anymore,
and the future is very bleak,
society, your so
blissfuly ignorant, makes me feel so
hopeless, that theres no way that i can control this, makes me feel so angry, sad, and weak.

sometimes i just want to throw in the towel and give in,
this is not the world, that i want my future children to live in.

i was stupid, for giving you the benefit of the doubt.
turned out that you were someone, we were better off without.
& all along. i thought you had good intentions, but my suspicians were all wrong.

and none of your motives,
were at all kind, i was so naive to believe in you,
guess i just wanted to. look at you with blind eyes.
i must have been out of my mind. guess i was just hoping,
that there was something more to find. behind those sunken eyes.
but oh well, , what the hell, whatever, nevermind.

next time you choose to critasize,
i hope you  think aboutwhat you say,
im not the dumb one, you ****,
i believed in you, i was the only one. and you made me walk away.

good music, good coffee.
the flame in your heart that burns for me.
blue birds, blue skys, your warmth, and your brown eyes.
just some of the things that are keeping me alive.

just a smile from you and i know i will survive.

cinderella layed in a dark and cold prison. awaiting her husband, her tormentor, and her captures return, tears rapidly falling down her rosie red cheeks as she looked at her broken arm. ¨
why would you run away from me like that? now look at you... your arm is broken.¨ she remembered him shouting. ¨you're pathetic.¨ staring at the rusty bars she began to feel hopeless. on the outside she had been silently broken but on the inside she felt as if she were screaming. screaming from the pain, screaming from the betrayal and deceit. screaming because what she had believed to be her dream come true had become nothing but a complete and absolute nightmare. screaming because she had fallen in love with a fairytale. a lie, a predator, a munipulator, a monster. how could i let myself fall in love with someone so incredibly evil? she thought. maybe i wanted to believe in him. maybe i felt as if i needed too. to believe in someone or something. to be rescued. i think that he sinced that  about me. that i wanted to be saved by someone or something so he descised himself as my savior.. and i believed in him. and now here i am. maybe he was right, maybe i was pathetic and naive. maybe i just hoped that i had finaly found what i had been waiting so long for and that all of my years of crushing lonliness and longing for something more had finaly been over. but it was all a lie. and now im going to have to find a way to save myself.

¨oh cinderella¨ the prince called out cinderellas name lovingly filling her heart with fear. his call used to make her feel safe and secure. ¨what a fool i was¨she thought.  ¨now im going to die hereº ¨hello my dear¨ the prince sadisticly smiled. ¨hello.¨cinderella rolled her blue eyes coldly. ¨why the aditude cinderella? you know i don't like that. we're not going to get anywhere if you keep pushing me away like this. ¨ the prince raised his eyebrows sympathetically. cinderella shook her head in aggravation ¨dont you get it? i dont want to get anywhere with you. you are everything i hate about this god forsaken world.¨
the prince chuckled ¨it's so adorable when you try to act like you're smar cinderella. do you even know what the word godforsaken means??? he laughed. ¨your lack of wit is so very comical¨ he smiled as he began to walk away. ¨where are you going¨ cinderella called out. ¨into town. now dont you go anywhere.¨ he laughed. ¨i have to find a doctor who will come to the palace re–break your arm and put it in a cast for me.¨
¨break my arm?¨ cinderella jumped. ¨yes my dear it's not going to heal correctly that way now is it? see how difficult you make things cinderella? if you would have just stayed instead of trying to leave me with a broken heart then i wouldn't have had to break your arm and we wouldnt be in this situation. why? why cant you just let me love you?¨ the prince looked at cinderella sympathetocly as he turned away and slowly dissapeared into the darkness of the dungeon. cinderella wept uncontrolably.

cinderella looked out of a tiny window covered with steele bars. the sun brightly shining through, the sky a beautiful pinkish purple. she wondered if she would ever feel the warmth of the sunlight again as she touched the window. she looked down at what used to be a gorgeous blue gown, now tattered and toarn. she touched the fabric softly remembering how her eyes shined when she first saw it. & the struggle that ruined it. her eyes began to swell up with tears. ¨i cant take this much more¨ she thought. ¨i wont...¨ she decided, her sad eyes and broken heart now filled with rage and hostility. her shaking hands now clinched in fists. ¨i will be just as mad, limitless, and unhumane as he is. i will be decieving, cold and cruel. and i won't feel anything about it. ill treat him like a doormat instead of a person just like he treated me. the only difference will be that i will not allow him to live.¨

¨we will see who is dim witted.¨

Cassie walked up the stairs and into her new room, her new roomate sitting on the bed and writing in her journal. her long black hair in a side braid, wearing a purple flannel jacket and ripped jeans. "guess who i just met? you're not gonna believe it." cassie said, almost singing. "who?" Emily rolled her eyes. "madison montgomery, she gave me her autography and everything." cassie joyfuly explained. "madison montgomery? isn't she like some grade d lifetime movie actress or something? what is she doing here?" Emily shook her head and rolled her eyes as she doodled a picture on the notepad. "that cuts me deeply that you would say that about madison, she's my friend you know." Cassie touched her cheast, as if she had been cut by this very deeply. "okay?" Emily shook her head "she is a witch like us and is most certainly NOT  a grade d actress." cassie explained.  "i really like it here, you know? i never really had friends at my old highschool.. everyone thought i was weird or annoying." Cassie sighed. "did they?" emily replied sarcasticly. "well yea, thats why i had to get rid of all of them. " cassie sighed once again, shaking her head and staring into space. " sometimes i lay awake and i can still hear them." Emilys eyes and mouth widened as she looked up from her notebook very slowly. "what do you mean, you got rid of them?" Emily asked. "ohhh nevermind..! it's a really long story and i come out looking pretty bad in it" Cassie giggled, making emilys stomache turn.  her eyes still wide and filled with fear.

"what are you drawing?" Cassie asked curiously as she leaned over to try and look at Emilys notebook. emily quickly picked the notebook up and held it to her cheast. "it's private, sorry."  
"oh thats okay i understand." Cassie nodded.
"can i ask you a question emily?" Cassie questioned, a sad look in her eyes.
"yeah, sure." Emily replied nervously.
"you... don't think i'm 'weird' or 'annoying' or anything do you?" Cassie looked Emily in the eyes filling her with chills.
"oh of course not." Emily nervously lied.
"thats great." cassie grinned from ear to ear. "because i'd hate to think that, i know that my personality can be a bit much sometimes but thats just me, i'm just kinda OUT THERE." Cassie explained, her eyes wide and her hands up in the air.
"yes, you are." Emily replied, gulping.
"well, i'm going to breakfast. cya." Casssie skipped away cheerfully.
Emily took a deep breath and sighed, looking down at the picture in her notepad. it had been a picture of Cassie talking and Emily tying a noose to hang herself with.

the girls had been chattering and laughing in the dining room when suddenly nan, zoey, and madison charged in the room. making everyone stop and look at them. "Alright *******." Madison stood with her arms crossed and an enraged look in her dark brown eyes. "who the **** stole my money???" she questioned. the girls just sat there and looked at her quietly. "okay, none of you broke *** hos want to fess up? you're ballsy enough to take my **** but you're not ballsy enough to stand up to me? i see" Madison shouted. sadness and hostility in her eyes and voice.
"who took Madisons money? i wanna know right now!" Cassie stood up in anger. quickly rushing to Madisons aid. Madison nudged her alittle and rolled her eyes. Cassie folded her arms, mimicking exactly what Madison had been doing. "BROKE ***!!! HOESSSS!" Cassie screamed, pointing at all the girls. Pyper rolled her big blue eyes and flipped her long crimson red hair laughing, "nobody stole your money you idiot, you probably just misplaced it." she laughed, fearlessly looking madison straight in the eyes. which made nan look at  pyper very suspiciously as she read her mind. "hold my earrings please." Madison began to put her hair up in a bun. "what is going on in here?" Cordelia stormed in the room with her arms folded. "put your shoes on Madison." Cordelia looked at Madison in confusion. "nothing, Madisons spazing out because she thinks that someone took her money. and now she's getting all 'ghetto' and bent out of shape about it. taking her payless heels off like she's actually going to do something." pyper rolled her eyes and joked, making the rest of the girls laugh aswell. "payless? i only wear chanel." Madison flipped her hair. Nan looked Pyper in the eyes suspiciously, shaking her head from side to side. "i'm going to say this once and once only." cordelia shouted. "i will not have any fighting or steeling in this house. and if anyone is caught fighting or steeling, you will be expelled. it's a big bad world out there girls, up until now you've all lived very sheltered lives and i'd hate to send you out in it to fend for yourselves." Cordelia sighed. pyper got a very sad look in her eyes. "sheltered" she snickered, "right."
Nan looked at pyper sadly, still reading her mind.
"what are you looking at?" Pyper shouted at nan viciously.
"i'm not sure yet." Nan replied curiously.

crackheads crackheads
gonna rob your house,
gonna sneak into your bedroom
as quiet as a mouse,
gonna steele all your jewlery,
your dog and your blouse

crackheads crackheads
twerkin in a thong
u should have locked your door u *****,
now your computers gone

wide eyed and skinny
high without a penny


run for the hills..
hide all your dollar bills and your
perscription pills
cause theyre out to steele
they've started to get the chills

dear cerrupted angel, you've been through far too much,
i see the barbed wire your tangled and mangled, in. you're so lost and out
of touch. you awkwardly stand with sad blue eyes and shaking hands, and no one understands how you feel, your so striken with fear, that parts of you dissapear, underneath your shield made of steele .

there are ghosts from my past, shamelesly they build a wall, a wall around my broken heart, atleast a billion feet tall.
like zombies in the night, chasing me as i burn, running for my life, finding them at every turn.
relentlessly taunted, sadisticly haunted, changing the way that i see, i see no light, only darkness, my heart it has been hardened. are they making a ghost out of me?

ottis ottis
with his nose up his ****,
just a low life bumb, an all american chump.
ottis ottis
he aint nothin but a punk.
he acts like a human and he smells like funk.

i just want to close my tired eyes,
and fly away.
dazed, amazed, i peacefuly gaze into space.
getting lost in purple haze,
i dream of better days.

floating on air,
nomore pain, or dispaire.
i dont care at all.
i just want to smile for a little while.
and blissfuly bounce off of these four walls.

i just hope
that someday when i reach my final rope.
that i will be remembered as more than just a joke.
& that my words dont go unheard. as they so often do.
so i've decided that when i die, ill leave all of my poems for you.

so maybe someday, when i dissapear.
you'l be able to see the girl, hidden underneath
all of this fear.

i just hope someday that when
i waste away into nothing,
that you'l read all of the things that i'm too afraid to say,
and i pray that it means something.

shattered, my mind scattered, and permanently bruised,
i have come to this conclusion, i refuse, to be abused, or
used, if you want to walk away, i will not run after you,
i refuse to follow, i will not weep, i will not woe, i will not
live in sorrow.

i will not forgive, i will not forget, all of your harsh words, all of the struggle and regret, i will not be a door mat, you've added to this tremendous  weight on my shoulder, making it colder, weighing me down like a boulder, and as i grow older, i've become too wise to take it, i've realised my self worth, and this not what i deserve, i will enjoy my time on this earth, i now know life is what you make it.


i had love for you, but you betrayed my trust, turning it to ashes and down, filling me with insecurity, making me feel worthless, and unworthy, but i know now that i don't deserve this, and the harsh reality is that you don't deserve me.

it's not right,
it's not okay,
the way you judge, and hate,
the awful things you do and say...
you look down on me, with no sympathy,
but i would never treat someone the way you
treat me, its absurd. & i could never be that way...

i would never go, to the lengths that you will go.
i could never stoop so low. could never stoop so low.
and i dont know, where you get off having such a big ego,
maybe you're just tripping from the blow.

you came into my life during a rain storm
i thought that i needed you, nothing else mattered,
my self esteem was shattered, i just wanted to be with you.
i fell for your lies about sunsets and beautiful skys,
but you left me like a hurricane,
and i should have never believed in you.

here i sit, qlone and broken,
finaly my eyes are wide open,
it seems that i've been living in a dream.
my worst nightmare has come true.
the gleam in your eye is not for me,
but the destain in mine is for you.

you who con damsils in distress
with your fast talking lies, and your puppy dog eyes.
you, souless animal, monster in my disguise,
you are the one, i will forever despise.

as long as my heart goes on beating,
i will never open the doors for you,
i gave that key to somebody new,
after you toar my heart in two.

somebody amazing, who loves me,
cause i saw the light, you're nowher near a dark knight.
just an imposter, with a heart cold dark and ugly.

please dont run away,
everybody does...
please dont go astray...
i'm not who i once was.
but i'm willing to try because,
i know that this is true love.

i'm no stranger to torture,
i could use alot of change,
been waiting forever,
for you to come and stop the rain.

like a rainbow,
or a sunset after a tornado,
i love you more than you will ever know,
please dont let me go...

i need you're rough hands, and your brown eyes,
you're like a beautiful work of art.
you've turned my black hole into blue skys.
you've stolen my heart.

you see everything as gray, while i see black and white.
a cherade you play, pretending to be some kind of crusador for what is right. whatever helps you sleep at night.
while i'm being kept awake by bad dreams, ripping at the seams it seems
you've stolen my only light, you act like you're some kind of saint but i know thats far from true, you're only kind and sincere when it's convienient for you.

i took a handfull of pills one day
hoping i would fly away,
and see jesus face to face,
escaping this god forsaken place.
i thought that it would set me free,
from being a living tragedy.
but i began to feel very sick.
i felt as if i had been hit in the head with a brick.
my stomache turned, and i began to cry.
i never really wanted to die. but now im gone.
and im never coming back.
daddys at my funeral, all toarn up and dressed in black. 
mom is busy crying, she would give the world, anything to get back her dear baby girl.
and i rot away, and all of my hopes anddreams they do too..., because i made a big mistake, thatno one could undo.
all of the plans that god had made for me, tragicly erased.all of my potential, has now gone to waste.
i never really wanted to die, i just wanted to end this pain, i guess that i thought that life, was nothing but a game.

if i die and do not wake, please know that i nolonger ache,
a problem child, your biggest mistake, fading away with every
breath i take, i am unheard scream, a broken dream, nothing is
alright, and no one is ever quite what they seem. what do you see?
when you look at me? i'm so twisted and toarn from fighting
this war, now i'm alone and theres nobody home, i've got nothing
left to fight for. for i am so broken, by the path that i've chosen,
these wounds have gotten far too deep... so now i'm just hoping that my eyes will never open, every time i go to sleep.

when your heart is filled with fright,
but you scream with delight,
you know that it must be halloween night!

i've married you in my mind, atleast a million times,
and in this dream of mine, you wear a black suit and boe tye.

last night i couldnt sleep so i turned on the tv, but just counted
the freckles on your back, and drifted off into fantasy.

i wanted to tell you how you look like an angel when you sleep,
lying next to you my kneese get weak, i'm in so deep. head above water.

and just so you know, i'll never let go, come what may you'l always be my favorite hello.

you're my partner in crime, you're my favorite addiction, you are the love of my life, forever you'l be my  one and only, just stay by my side, i know that this life is like a rollar coaster ride, but as long as 'm alive, you dont have to be lonely. and i'll be okay as long as you're here to hold me.

this fear, this hurt, it over powers me, it devours me, baby.
tell me that it's all not just a waste, that i'm the only one who
holds your heart, that i can't be replaced.

tonight i'll get high, & fly out into outerspace,
trying to erase all of your mistakes.

i'm breaking down again, & where are you?
i can't trust a single word you say,
are you falling for someone new?
& what will take this pain away?

i sew my mouth shut, troubled by all of these unspoken
words, all of these questions without anwsers, eating me
alive like cancer. just be honest & real, is it really that hard
of a task?, because i'm so toarn by all of these questions,
that i shouldn't feel the need to ask.

just tell me that you're the anwser.

that gleam in your eyes, makes me terrified,
what lyes beneath them?, & how much do you hide?
oh how i love those eyes, but have they left mine blind?
because of all of these anwsers that i can't find, to the
questions that take away my piece of mind?

it is her, who makes me an insecure monster,
should i just give up & let go? because i'm so
restless & unsure, it's torture, so if it's too laight,
please just let me know.

they say that theres no place like home,
but i have never felt more terrified or alone.

if i could find a deserted island,
and bring my lover with me,
bathe in the ocean, and live off of
the fishes in the sea,
i would, leave this place for good,
if only i could.

i dont believe i would even
need the ciggarettes and coffee then.
but oh,where do i begin?
the madness never ends.

if only i could escape
the drugs,
the hate,
and all of the chaos that you create.

i never wanted this war that you started,
i just wanted to feel safe,
but that seems impossible in this god forsaken place,
ran by drugs, wannabe thugs, & toxic wastes of space.

i am
unvaluble,
vunerable, easily replacable,
broken, scarred,
and damaged,this is too hard.
i can not manage.

i am
a mess, a tragedy, a living breathing catastrophe,
and nobody can save me, maybe i should **** myself,
i dont think that anyone would blame me.

i am
a ghost of the happy girl i used to be,
i lost all of my friends, and somehow i
cant stop making enemys.
i have been destroyed by stress and insecurity.

http://youtu.be/tA1Y5mDf1u0?list=UU-FknAV2u4kdfHyCB75_2jw

fall was in the air and it was a very dreary october day. the halls of the old victorian house had been filled with new arivals and lots of noise.

"i can barely hear myself think." Madison sneered, a  cigarette in her hand  as she stood next to zoey and nan in the hallway. looking at the new girls with disguist. "and none of these new ******* better step on my toes. this isnt ******* hogwarts." she rolled her eyes. "hogwarts." zoey laughed, making nan laugh aswell. "if this were hogwarts, you would be draco malfoy" nan joked. "hardy har har." Madison snickered. "and you would be harry potters fat cousin because your ugly and nobody loves you." madison smiled. "well, i think it's great." zoey said cheerfully. "all of these girls would feel lost and alone and now they have somewhere to belong.". "you would say that." Madison rolled her eyes. suddenly a slightly younger girl with big green eyes and long brown hair and freckles rushed up to the three of them with a gleam in her eye. "oh my god it is you! you're madison montgomery!" the girl explained. " i love you! will you sign my back pack?" the girl turned around and Madison pulled a pink highlighter out of the side of her floral backpack. her face lit up as she wrote her name on the backpack making zoey and nan smile aswell. "thank you! thank you! thank you! you're my idol." the girl blushed. "my name is Cassie motts, i've seen all of your movies, i love you! i love you! i love you!" the girl giggled. "alright.." Madison had been taken back a step. "have a great day you little ******." she smiled, a look of confusion hung upon her face. "thank you.. you dont know how much this means to me." the girl explained cheerfully and walked away. "well ladies it looks like we're the head honchoes around this **** show." Madison sighed, still slightly smiling. "i was always the head honchoe." nan replied. "yeah, okay, right." zoey rolled her eyes and smiled at nan as the three made there way down the hall together.

my dear, i'm just nervously standing here,
waiting for the fog to clear, overwhelmed
with sadness and fear.

confusion & anxiety, becoming a part
of my every day, i know that i'm negative & moody,
but trust me, i never wanted it to be this way.

i look out my window, at a world so dark & ugly,
a heartless society that tells me i'm unworthy,
i walk alone & stare down at the ground, while people stop &
stare, wanting to be found, but no one seems to care.
all of there acusations & these hopeless situations,
it's almost more than i can bare.
isolated, wounded & hated, it's just my reality,
everywhere i look, there is negativity.
& all they say as they sneere and look away
is "life is unfair." well trust me, i'm well aware.

go on and walk away, there is noting more that i can say,
i never mattered to you anyway.

treat me like a stranger, treat me like a joke,
when my heart is in danger, and all my dreams
gone up in smoke.
make me feel like a fool for ever believing in you,
oh how you laugh and you poke.

i remember when i was your bestfriend,
although it was long ago, when you said
that i became someone that you didn't wish to  know.
i remember all the screaming and the sorrow
that happened after, smoking on the train tracks,
the long phone calls and the laughter,
you were the whole book to me, but to you
i was just a chapter, i remember when you left
me, a broken disaster.

i remember when you told me that i would
see you soon, you crying in the car, when my heart
bursted like a baloon. i still remember all the talks we
had, the friendship, the madness and regret, but that
friendship was lost a long time ago.
i just hadn't grasped it yet.
i guess that i didn't realise that i was so
easy for you to just forget.
all this time i thought you cared,
because of all of the things that we shared,
i guess i should have known, and should have
gotten it through my head, when you let them taunt me
on the phone, and said you wouldn't care if i were dead.

when i was lost, looking for an anwser,
restless and unsure,
i had never felt more insecure.
maybe this person that i'm remembering
was never, who you really were.

drunk with power.
he shot his gun, hit the
pavement, and began to run.
shouting lies. another unarmed man dies.
now his family grieves and cries,
look at all of the damage you have done.

he knew his rights, he didn't want to fight,
or follow your commands, he didn't deserve to die.
so tell me why,  his  blood is  on your hands..

he didn't even get to say goodbye,
he didn't know that that would be his last car ride.
he will never see another day.
all because you couldn't just let him drive away.

what do you do, when someone you find irreplaceable,
walks away and just replaces you? when you lose your
bestfriend, when all your worst nightmares come true.
when someone you used to rely on, is nolonger a shoulder
to cry on, just a cold shoulder that makes you cry,
and forever becomes never, and u cant seem to put the pieces back together,
because everything you believed in was just a lie.

here we go again,
another disaster,
my hope is fading, heart is breaking,
it's excruciating, my mind is racing,
faster and faster, tears are falling down,
like rain in a hurricane, i've been betrayed by my master.

here we go again,
i've discovered, another secret, hidden by my lover.
my superman is a liar, now it feels like i'm going crazy,
nothing and no one can save me, and all i do is suffer.

here we go again, praying to my savior,
descending into madness, turning to self destructive behavior.
here we go again, i feel like this will never end,
i just want to give in, again, my life is in danger.
staring into those eyes,
i wonder just how many times you've lied,
i wonder if i've been living with a stranger.

here we go again, another wound that refuses to mend,
and another reason not to trust you again,
my faith is wearing thin, but i pretend like i'm just fine,
but i promise you, i'm leaving,
if you cross the line one more time.

let it out, the fear and the doubt.
you've been trying to stay strong, you've been fighting this battle for far too long. pretending that everythings alright, while everything is going wrong. it's taking its toll on your heart and soul, and it's getting really old.
shows over, go home, i just want to be alone, the world is so dark and cold. i just need to rest for a long long while, i feel too depressed, to try to look on the bright side, there is too much pain inside to smile. i don't want to try, i don;t want to fight, sometimes i want to die, & somtimes i feel like i just might. i'm just holding on by a very thin thread, everyday i wake up, i'm filled with pain and dread, won't somebody tell me, whats going on in my head?

it seems that you
always have an excuse, for all of your lies,
neglect and abuse. there is a sob story behind
every mistake, you're turning me, into a pitaful catastrophe.
i dont know how much more this heavy heart can take.

does it help you get to sleep at night?
while its keeping me awake.
im slowly crumbling, i'm begining to break.

a gun to the head would be more merciful ,
then what you've done to me, a rusty dagger in
my back, and an aching in my heart.
you're killing me softly but slowly.

i wish i may, i wish i might,
get high as a kite tonight. ♥♡♥♪

no we're not married,
but i'll love you untill i'm dead and buried.
just us against the world, no one can tair us apart.
you brought me out of the dark.

i love you in the rain, i love you in the sun,
i love you in a hurricane, you are the only one.
your smile is like a sunset, your laugh is like a song,
your heart feels just like home to me,
your kiss is like a symphony,
in your arms is where i belong.

your touch makes me blush, sometimes i feel like i cant breathe,
your love is the best gift i will ever recieve.

sorry im not here right now
im on my way to another maze.
i dont know if ill get through, but if i do.
it might take me years, maybe all of my days.
it's dark and cloudy where i am
so sorry i cant be here
i've lost my mind, and i cant seem to find myself,,
lost underneath all of this fear.

i am losing faith, feel like a disgrace,
always so quickly replaced, by a pretty face.
i'm a basketcase, everythings a waste.
tell me this is not my faight?
heart full of pain, eyes full of hate.




tell me its not too laight, after the damage that has been done.
i know she lurks in the shadows, hoping youl tell her shes the one.
i am full of insecuritys, and now its hard just to live,
my love and these lyrics, are all that i have to give.

the green eyed monster takes over, im a disaster.
my hope is fading, faster and faster.

and she creeps in the shadows like a volture,
and i could not feel smaller. just waiting for a
chance to take you away. i hope this love is enough,
i pray that my baby will stay.

take me back to the start
where we were a fairytale, just you and me.
when i didnt have to live in fear, pain and misery.

when the trust wasnt broken, we have so much history,
but now i feel like im lost in all of this agony.