you drag me along on an adventure
not explaining where we’ll go
when i ask you what we’re doing
you grin and say you don’t know
we drive forever on endless roads
i stop questioning after a while
you sing to the radio with such enthusiasm
i can’t help but smile
we stop at a garage to fill up the truck
a faded sign says “ice cream this way”
i shrug and help you find the freezer
we argue, you relent, i pay
i’m barely awake when the trip finally ends
and you’re pulling me out of the door
you’re filling the truck bed with blankets
while i can’t figure out what for
you helped me in and shifted the blankets
then wrapped your arms around me too
you wanted to look at the stars
i just wanted to stare at you

being the unimportant friend ******* hurts

never being the first choice ******* hurts

having someone laugh in your face ******* hurts

desperately wanting to be loved ******* hurts

sobbing into your pillow alone at night ******* hurts

feeling unwanted ******* hurts

An eclipse of emotions
Disastrous devotions
A fleeting feeling of remorse
Taste of sorrow, sour and coarse
Trembling hands beyond the glass
I guess peace is too much to ask
Throwing fists up at the sky
Screaming “why, *******, why?”
But there’s no answer from above
This is all I get from love

from tragedy
comes poetry
so thanks
i guess
for hurting me

emotional confusion
are you feeling the delusion
of our sentimental fusion
there’s a lie between the eyes
and a crack in the disguise
ignorant in our demise
but now the heat of the illusion
is obscuring the conclusion
now is that what makes us human?
keep us staring at the stars
throw our hopes and dreams in jars
i guess that’s just who we are.

alive, but only barely
awake, but not for long
each day a repetition
i’m so tired of this song

Maybe we’ll be fine
Pretending it’s okay now
Turning a blind eye.

I’m not stupid
Honestly, I promise
I think it might be
You making me nervous

I’m bad with speaking
You might think me a fool
I stutter and stumble
Trying to keep my cool

Not much time
To think it through
But I have to analyze
What each word will mean to you

I think and I think
I know what I want to say
The problem is just
I don’t know which way

My words seem to fail me
Mouth moving like a fish
I want to talk, please
It’s my only wish

Scared of saying it wrong
Confusing you, driving you away
I’m so ******* afraid
That I’ll make it not okay

I’ve found my words
Each and every one
But when I look back up
You’re already gone

It’s a sickness of the mind
Clouding judgements, thoughts, visions
It leaves you utterly blind
To all you leave behind
And quite soon you will find
You made all the wrong decisions

It breaks your every bone
Leaves you crying and alone
It all happened so fast
Your life slipped out of your grasp
Before you could start to say
“Come back, I love you, please stay”

Love is doomed to fail
Of that you must be sure
Sadness will prevail
Your face is going pale
Your heart is oh so frail
Can’t force love to be pure

Hearts break and shatter
So better to keep it hidden
Away from all the chatter
From those you think matter
Ignore the pitter-patter
Or the ache again will begin

It breaks your every bone
Leaves you crying and alone
It all happened so fast
Your life slipped out of your grasp
Before you could start to say
“Come back, I love you, please stay”

There is a haiku
Waiting to be written, but
Never written down.

“Oh, I forgot about you”
There goes a brick.

“You don’t mind if we go without you, right?”
Thud, there’s another.

“Could you just shut up for a second?”
Another.

“I can’t be around you when you’re sad”
Another.

“What’s wrong with you? I have it worse”
And another.

“Honestly, I didn’t notice you were here”
The bricks stack nicely on one another.

“I’d rather hang out with someone else, sorry”
My hands are raw from building.

“You’re a friend, you’re just not a best friend, y’know?”
The wall is getting higher.

“...”
I can’t see anyone anymore.

Mind always scattered
Too many thoughts, all at once
All of them of you.

I would like to know
When I’ll be happy again
Do I deserve it?

I think I might
Have too much to say
Too many thoughts
For my words to portray
I try to speak
My voice is weak
I think I’m giving up for today.

I think I might
Not be that okay
The horror film
In my mind will play
My head is a mess
I should lay it to rest
I think I’m giving up for today.

I think I might
Have gave it away
My demons will not
let me keep them at bay
I don’t want to feel
Why is this real?
I think I’m giving up for today.

I think I might
Be living in grey
I can’t seem to move
From here where I lay
My mind is a thorn
My soul has been torn
I think I’m giving up for today.

I think I might
Have to find a way
To calm my mental
Disarray
Please tell me how
I can fix this now
Maybe I’ll try another day.

The lightbulb on the roof
Is flickering with proof
That the mind is dangerous
It's a poison in our youth

Our thoughts are hazardous
There's war inside of us
How are we still alive?
The abyss is cavernous

That to which we strive
We know will never thrive
We're told we should surrender
We weren't destined to survive

Our wounds are feeling tender
Our hopes are getting slender
We're buying what we're told
From the catastrophe vendor

Our brains fill with mould
Our bodies grow cold
We'll die before we get old.

Have you ever felt
Something so very intense
You wanted to burst?

I want to stop thinking
I want to stop feeling
Stop shrinking
Stop sinking
Stop reeling
Start healing

I can't do this alone
But no one will help me
Progress is slow, so
Come back tomorrow and this is where I'll be

I need to stop falling
I need to stop dying
Stop crawling
Stop stalling
Stop crying
Start trying