i miss the years when i didn’t worry
when i didn’t have to fear
when my body could be trusted
when my mind didn’t twist my words.

all i seem to do these days is tell myself it isn’t real.
and still a part of me thinks “what if”

I want to help, I really do
But I don’t like the thought of dying.
Anxiety keeps me on the ground
Instead of up there flying.

So raise a glass to all those people
Who could do what I could never.
By their constant and certain efforts
They make the world much better.

Everyone says I should just try
But I know that I would fail.
And even if I did agree
For my health I’d have to bail.

So raise a glass to all those people
Who could do what I could never.
Like the astronauts in space who quite
Possibly could stay there forever.

Raise a glass to all those people
Who could do what I could never.
Like the people who study volcanoes
Who could rest there forever.

“There’s always hope”,
she said, as
she turned away
to battle.

“There’s always hope”,
I whisper, now.
Though it doesn’t
Seem like that at all.

“You have no chance”,
They said,
Towering high
Above me.

I know.

But that won’t stop me.

I hear the main road from a distance
A quiet, steady roar.
This part of town is full of people
Who walk the streets no more.

It’s quiet here, and would be peaceful
If I didn’t know why.
For every hour there’s one less person
But one more mournful cry.

Tämä yksinäisen tytön tarina
On pitkä ja surullinen
Se aika usein loppuu siihen
Että tyttö itkee itsensä uneen.

Where has time gone?

Yesterday I was with you.
We were at the beach, skipping rocks.
The sky was blue.

Where has time gone?

Today, it seems I am alone.
All these miles between us two.
Here the sky is gray.

Kissa oli musta.
Kokonaan, myös silmät.
Sen nimi oli Lunta,
Vaik’ se oli musta.

Tiedä mä en
Haluanko jatkaa.
Mä en tiedä
Haluanko enempää?
Minua sattuu ja
Minua haittaa.
Haluun pois
Tästä maailmasta.

No tears left to cry
Yet you still want to say goodbye
To all the happy memories
To all the things that brought us peace.

It’s time for the countdown,
We’re close enough now.
Waiting for this moment when
I take my final bow.

I exit stage left
After a long speech.
Now it’ll be over
In one, two, three...

“She’s fearless”
They might say.
But I shake
My head because



One cannot be brave who has no fear.

We had hope in the beginning
Before things went wrong.  
But life was short as a movie,
Happiness a song.

We took those memories for granted,
Those moments long ago.
Now we only have each other
And time moves by so slow.

I shiver
With the cold
That comes with winter

You’re gone
But I’m here
And I’ll see you again soon

it might be cringy to be so melodramatic.


but my, what fun it is.

If I were to say something
You’d tell me to stop.
If I were to tell the truth
You’d say “can you not?”

But somehow you’re jealous
Because I tell her things.
I guess you don’t understand
What friendship means.

We’ve come full circle

Started with me
Where you are now.

Ei voi muuttuu että
Aika menee nopeasti.
Mutta menikö päivän
Sekunnissa tähän asti?

Se pitää minusta kiinni aina.
Yöllä en saa untaa.
Päivällä en nauraa.
Harmi että huomaan sitä vieläkin.

I don’t have a place I would call my hometown
My family was restless, always moving around.
In general I wouldn’t say it’s at all bad
But sometimes alone, I think it’s kind of sad.

Joskus oli kamalaa
Siis joskus kauan sitten.
Mut nyt mul on nää runoja.
En enää herää itkien.

A few minutes after
You chose to leave,
I forgot to breath.
I forget to breath.
I forget to.
I forget.
I.
.
.
.
—

It’s not your fault.
It’s mine.
It’s sad that until today
Everything was fine.

And....
  


                         Broken
I’m.                  Breaking
  



            What

Ok, I might be jealous
But not without a reason.
You stay home just for fun
And meanwhile I’m here alone. Um.

You once said that
You loved me and
I believed you
Can’t you see?

I said it back
And meant it too
But that was before
I was betrayed by you.

I miss the good days but I
Can’t remember when they were.
I miss the feeling I got
But how I got it, I’m not sure.

I don’t know why I feel sad
But I know this feeling’s new.
The old days were much better
But why they were, I have no clue.

Our
Friendship is
One hundred percent
Toxic but it’s more
Fun that way
Because we
Always
Come
Back

Something is wrong
You could’ve stayed
But you chose to leave

A childhood returns
For a day.
For a moment.

Laughter fills the room
Like before
They first left.

It went unspoken;
It couldn’t work out.
Not without hate
And not without doubt.

It went unspoken;
We were bound to fail.
We had too much energy;
We’d drive our carts off the rail.

Skyscrapers broke
And the oceans drained away.
Mountains crumbled
And night never turned to day.

It’s the time of year
When you need extra lotion
Your hands are always cold.
The one time that children
Will do as they’re told.

Writing a haiku
Is very hard to do. I
Don’t know how this works?

I’m fine during the daytime;
The problems come at night.
My thoughts come out to haunt me
Sometimes they make me cry in fright.

I lie awake for hours
My face is wet with tears.
Sleep seems so far away,
Though my nightmares seem so near.

I didn’t sign up for this;
Crying myself to sleep.
Who could’ve known that now it is
A burden to be able to think?

A crying child stood
In the cold, winter air;
Until the winds whispered
“Come, do not despair”

She followed the voice
Into a place warm,
The winds told her “Rest,
Here you’ll come to no harm.”

For once in her life
She was safe, she was loved.
And the winds watched her grow
To be pretty as a dove.

Joskus mietin

the younger me was less afraid
and infinitely more competent.

A movie with a plot twist;
I didn’t see it coming
It shocked me somehow even though
You were always cunning.

A ballad with a key change;
You could’ve stayed the same
But you left me with a hole in my life
And you left me here to pay.

The last time
I saw you
Was when we
Decided
That we were

Over.


But now that
You’re gone I
Don’t know what
To do now
Because you

Are dead.

My thoughts crowd my head
It's too noisy.
It’s basically a mix of
A never ending song
Poems
Words I read
A thousand thoughts yearning to speak
It should be an introverts nightmare and yet somehow I love it.
But I can get tired of it sometimes.

In the end it’s love
That will save us from ourselves.
An instinct greater than us
Makes us think of someone else.

Is it weird that I can write
About some things I’ve never experienced?
People tell me I’m good with feelings

But I have only my empathy to thank.