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2.5k · Feb 2019
cingulomania
mary liles Feb 2019
love was never so terrifying
til i met you

cause i never realized
how much i needed it

and now i cant let go
cingulomania: a strong desire to hold someone in your arms
1.4k · Aug 2021
an empty roommate
mary liles Aug 2021
i have never had to share
not a room
not a bathroom
not clothes
i have never had to share
and now i cannot share my heart
1.3k · Aug 2021
painted on my eyelids
mary liles Aug 2021
never once have i paid attention
to the way your eyelashes,
long and dainty,
brush your skin.
never once have i thought of how
that scar is oh so visible on your lip.
never once have i considered
the way your eyes pierce mine.

yet if i have not though of these,
how can i picture you so clearly?
1.0k · Mar 2021
time
mary liles Mar 2021
time
time
time
it’s slipping away
why won’t it stop?
why won’t it stay?
time
time
time
please wait.
I don’t have enough
903 · Aug 2021
reminder
mary liles Aug 2021
you remind me of the leaves
and the way they crunch underfoot
and the way they smell
and the color.

the pure, bright color that overwhelms
everything around the source.

nothing can compare.
888 · Aug 2020
until when?
mary liles Aug 2020
in november i stopped dancing
december, singing
january, laughing
february, smiling
and so i shall continue
for you left me in october
and i’ve never been the same
878 · May 2021
dissociation
mary liles May 2021
who are you
who am i
what is this
where am i

my hand is no longer my own
my heart is too much my own
my forehead feels tight
the lights too bright

who am i
what is this
where am i

the movements i make seem odd
i am no longer in control
yet who is this typing
if not me

what is this
where am i

my jaw aches and my head throbs
i recognize myself yet i do not
i stare at a wall
it moves?

where am i

the back of my mind is my home
i feel trapped inside it
i strain against the bars
there is no one to hear me
happens way too often
827 · Oct 2021
weighed down.
mary liles Oct 2021
there was a time when i could wrap my arms
around your neck
and put all of my weight on you
i think to myself
as i hold you
and make sure you don’t fall

did i feel as light as you do now?
for jasper: never, ever, ever forgotten <3
784 · May 2021
lypophrenia
mary liles May 2021
washing
over me.
I feel tears
building up.

I sit with you and laugh.

as I turn,
the feeling
grows
deeper.

my heart aches.
lypophrenia: a vague feeling of sadness seemingly without any cause
754 · Aug 2021
drowning thoughts
mary liles Aug 2021
i am consumed.
by water
and fire
and
you.
679 · Aug 2021
cannot
mary liles Aug 2021
i wish to know
yet i cannot.
i wish to be,
yet i cannot.
such is my life,
my destiny.
i cannot be as close to you
as i wish.
there is a divide.
it will never be overcome.
i do not know if you care
but i do.
please help me.
670 · Feb 2019
Two Left Feet
mary liles Feb 2019
I may have two left feet
And always miss the beat,
But you’ve got two right feet,
So I think that makes us
Quite complete
643 · May 2019
11:12 p.m.
mary liles May 2019
my wish came true
i think to myself as i look at you
you're staring out the window
but i know you feel it too
583 · May 2021
family life
mary liles May 2021
two brothers and a sister.
she is destined
never to know
them.
they are friends
(of course)
and close.
but he knows him
better than she
ever will.
:)
569 · Jan 2019
stars
mary liles Jan 2019
i loved you so much
that I took the stars from my eyes
and laid them at your feet

but you used them for your path to reach heaven
and i was left alone to wait
for you
563 · Jan 2019
him
mary liles Jan 2019
him
he came to her in spring
with bright flowers in his hands
and a song on his lips

he smiled at her in summer
with the radiant sun shining on his hair
and ice cream melting on his fingers

he held her close in autumn
with leaves dropping all around him
and warm hands in the cold breeze

but he was gone when winter came
with no goodbye, he vanished
and she was left alone to watch the snow fall
just as she had fallen for him
540 · May 2019
7:27 a.m.
mary liles May 2019
i look at you
you look at me
i have never felt more alive
524 · May 2020
hiraeth
mary liles May 2020
my heart aches.
what could have been?
memories flood.
who would I be?
tears fall.
why did I go?
hiraeth: a homesickness for a home that you cannot return to; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past
506 · Feb 2019
Lament: the Rose
mary liles Feb 2019
Our garden was bare til you came,
And its sad land was suddenly filled
With life and light, and happiness through,
You pushed away the chill.

The day you showed was wondrous,
As a little green sprout you took your place,
And fought the weeds that tried
To choke your beauty and grace.

The clouds had been dreary,
The sky too grey and dull,
But when you came things took a turn,
And suddenly our lives were full!

The sun broke through and oh!-
Little rose, you grew and grew!
But now the sun is gone,
And so are you.
418 · Aug 2021
my bleeding heart
mary liles Aug 2021
how is it that you stand there
speaking and smiling?
every word is a dagger
in my heart.
you rip and tear the walls.
my heart constricts and i am not safe.
who are you to do this?
be silent;
though it pains me still.
396 · Dec 2019
promises
mary liles Dec 2019
you
     promised
           me

but
313 · Jan 2019
gravity
mary liles Jan 2019
i feel like a star
in a galaxy of darkness

let me fly
and never come down

because the gravity
of the pain
hurts too much
223 · Nov 2019
talks at the dinner table
mary liles Nov 2019
the tracks have left me.
i am no longer guided.
i'm derailed again.
188 · Aug 2020
a night like this
mary liles Aug 2020
on a night like this
i kissed your lips goodbye
for you were headed into tomorrow
and i to the sweet summer sky
140 · Jan 2020
I’m upset
mary liles Jan 2020
I thought I could handle it
I really thought I could
But then you walked in
And all I could think was,
“Oh shoot. I’m *******.”
115 · Apr 2020
lost
mary liles Apr 2020
like the sky without stars,
like a tree without roots,
like a dog without its owner,
like an ocean without water,
i'm lost without you.
110 · Feb 2020
why does my heart want you?
mary liles Feb 2020
i’m drawn to you like
a meteor to the earth
burning in the sky

but who will it hurt?
and if it leaves a crater
whose heart will it burn?
100 · Nov 2020
sail
mary liles Nov 2020
ocean blue eyes
come take me away
but my soft sighs
aren't heard today

— The End —