Who has missed the boat?
The ancient mariner's futile gloat,
He lost the albatross,
In his own wilderness,
Nostalgia has its limits,
For one old hypocrite,
His gathering gloom,
Sleeping alone in his room,
He needs a change of outlook,
Maybe a new nonsense book,
He makes his sharing an artform,
Spam his mindset does deform,
His bluster and BS does float,
Yes, the ancient mariner's missed the boat!

I listened to promises from a drunk,
"Bourbon Talking," I should have thunk,
The day passed, the weeks concluded,
I tried to work out who was deluded,
Waiting for red herrings,
The months and years were ending,
Decades rolled by, one day,
I realised he should be at AA,
Not so comical,
The vocab. was lyrical,
Centuries passed, millennia concluded,
The world exploded, universe imploded,
Worked out who was deluded,
Now for tradies, through phone books, I go walking,
So, girls, never listen when it' s "bourbon talking!!!"

What makes the world a better place?
Okay, healing hands of grace,
And people with a smiling face,
Maybe, if you want to go that way,
A humble community of Faith,
A simple life, no extras today,
A helping hand along the way,
A life of harmony and grace,
"No hard feelings" and walk away,
Each one of us today,
Can make our world a better place!

This is one joy of teaching,
Which is really like lay preaching,
That lucid clarity moment,
When, "Now I get it!" is an event,
It's called their comprehension,
Light has dawned, they never struggle again,
You can call that satisfaction,
Yes, it's like lay preaching,
The real joy of teaching!

This is an ode about boys,
Of any age, we're the toys,
The meat market boys make,
They're all a mad as snakes!

Is Google a gift for global giving?
Viral solidarity, new way of living,
We're all the winners,
If we become grinners,
It's a chic computer show,
Virtual voyage around the globe,
At home, or  even on a phone,
Yes, viral solidarity,
Gift, or Big Brother, for humanity...?????

Our Synaesthesia is for free,
Music is the muse for me,
In my blood, you see,
Images imaginary,
Elvira Madigan wakes to see,
Mozart play Mozart lucidly,
Swooner songs sound so silly,
Old rockers croon so vividly,
Funny lyrics in my brain,
Sounding a little deranged,
(It is hereditary
In my family)
Yes, Synaesthesia is for free,
Smurfette's songs, so silly.

It was a dark and stormy day,
Cooking tea in the usual way,
This was my mother long ago,
"Don't touch the pressure cooker, no!"
Subtly, she left the scene,
Forgot the cooker, its head of steam,
Bang! Did that curry explode,
Mum's response, implode!
"Why didn't you check that stove?"
"You told me not to touch it, no!"
All I can say on this, fifty years later,
Don't use pressure to cook my curry or taters!

Here in parochial Melbourne town,
Football causes many a frown,
Folk say, "Who do ya barrack for?"
I think, "What do ya wanna know for?"
Then I say, "Right back at ya!
I barrack for Jesus and Mahatma!!"
Yes, let's barrack for our princes of Peace,
In our hearts, their .dear  souls to keep,
It might make our world a better place,
If we  all had a serene smiling face,
To barrack for Jesus and Mahatma,
"There you go, right back at ya!"

Happy New Year's Eve, fireworks and grog,
A night of terror for cats and dogs,
Up the creek without a paddle,
Dogs running away, quite addled,
A night of terror for cats and dogs,
Happy New Year! Fireworks and grog.....

The café named a sandwich after me,
"World's greatest doormat", prithee,
A people-pleasing syncophant, you see,
So, here's the new sandwich for thee,
"The world's greatest doormat", just like me!

This is a symbol,
Of life's gamble,
Our eternal optimism,
Symbolic  of symbolism,
The sun arose anyway,
My wish for you today,
For now and always,
"May all your troubles be little ones,"
Smiles on dials, make your own fun!

Long ago, way back when,
I was teaching five year olds then,
The funniest things happen to me,
One day I had different coloured shoes, you see,
One brown, one blue, gross, prithee,
Preps said very loudly to me,
"You're the silliest teacher we've ever seen."
So much for teaching them literacy,
The joke was on me, quite definitely,
Still, I guess I can survive anything,
It's called my worst day of teaching.......

Beware, ambition!
So-called politicians,
Have you got enough super yet?
You'll never get poverty, by heck!
What are you doing today?
Like job creation, let's say?
Beware, ambition,
So-called politicians,
We all get to  vote,
We'll cast aside your yoke,
Beware, ambition,
And fear oppressions,
So-called politicians.....

I guess I am stoic,
And tolerant, is that heroic?
Is stoicism a good trait?
Or maybe I am stubborn, okay,
No one has to believe B.S.,
So stoicism is a virtue, I guess.....

I can close my eyes and see you again,
Drifting aboard a dream catcher's train,
Even if I never see you again,
You still weave the dreams in my brain,
Oh, dream catcher,
Can we make it through the night?
I still glimpse you in the morning light,
Across realms of fantasy,
Are  you the dream catcher for me......

A burning fire, intense,
Loving you is my intent,
Still a magic of intensity,
A laugh, and chemistry,
We love to finish our days,
In burning, intense love haze......

I wrote an ode like a song,
About a town called Poowong,
I wrote it in a song,
Then I went to Geelong,
I had egg fong in Poowong,
I knew a sheila in Geelong!

This is a little everyday tale,
A warning for women, without fail,
Yes, it's Easter time again,
Your old man's got camping on his brain,
So, you load up the caravan and car,
This camping site is miles too far,
You set off in a golden glow,
Seven hours of traffic jams on the road,
You are having fun! you grin,
You are listening to your family whinge,
Your old man has a bad back,
You unload the stuff, the kids do clap,
But, the primus stove does not work,
Then the fridge throws a spanner in the works,
Now the milk is off,
Your old man tells you to "*******!"
You are having fun!
Shame you haven't got a gun!
You all collapse into bed,
By 5 am, it's raining, enough said,
The dog has left you a doggy surprise,
And for breakfast, only frozen pies,
You are having fun!
His moans have just begun.
You wish you'd brought a gun!
Yes, girls, camping is a defence,
God gave you a home, not tents!
Happy Holidays!!!!!!!!**######

I, Angelus, bring you Good News this day,
Joyous the world, one blessed day,
Infant King born on Christmas Day,
Now we only see the Nativity in a play,
While commercialising Christmas Day,
Good excuse for a holiday,
Celebrated in diverse ways,
Too much cant in Christmas Day?
Baby Jesus still blesses us,
As the world turns, spake I, Angelus,
Let' s worship our Infant King with giving,
Life is, indeed, for the living,
The future is for the young,
Their world has now begun,
Jesus spreads His healing love,
Let's bless our lives like peaceful doves,
I, Angelus, bring you Good News this day,
Every day National Peace and Happiness day,
We ain't dead yet, I, Angelus, does say,
From bad shall come good one day,
God blesses us on this Holy day,
This, the true meaning of Christ on Christmas Day,
I, Angelus, bring you Hope and Good News this day.

I touch your skin,
It keeps your insides in,
I touch your face,
Your smile of grace,
A touch of love,
Your blessing as a dove,
I touch your hand,
You're a pearl of a man,
You touch my heart,
I hope we never part,
The power of touch,
Can we ever love enough?

I guess this is a funny tale,
I still reflect, silent wail,
There I was, giving birth,
Snicker for what it's worth,
"Excuse me, sister, I'm having a contraction!"
Did that cause a nurse reaction!
They must have thought I was a dipstick,
Laughing away in their lipsticks!

DIY DISASTERS!
Once upon a lifetime,
I knitted a disaster line,
My sister was expecting,
So, I thought I'd be creating,
That first ****** looked beautiful,
Second, third and fourth not so dutiful,
They turned into footy boots size,
So I bought socks in Kmart--surprise!
I never found a baby with four different feet,
For DIY disasters, booties can't be beat.......

Let's give tribute to our vets,
Best diagnosticians yet,
Can they mend a broken wing?
Yes, and most other animal things,
The pets don't know what's wrong,
Vets say, "It won't take long,"
Animal healers are the best,
Mute animals get healing yet!

Here, I dwell in no man's land,
On the flip side, there's men unwomanned,
They can be  a miserable band,
Desperately seeking a hand,
I read their profiles, for online dating,
Is this pulp fiction they are creating?
"Honest, sensuous, sincere men here,
Tactile and reliable," Great, my dears,
All searching for affection,
BUT, I want your ex's true opinion!
Can I have her phone number, please?
What do you mean she's overseas,
Like forever and permanently?
Oh, really, really, really,
What does your ex say about you, please?
Why complain about her to me?
Honestly, why are you unwomanned?
While, here I dwell in no man's land........

I gaze at every human face,
We have all been touched by grace,
How do you use your abilities,
To max out your capabilities?
If we all smiled with our human face,
The world would be a better place,
So we'd all be touched by grace.

Hail, Hail, ole Chuck Berry,
I'll write you an obituary,
Baby boomers not so merry,
Hail, Hail, ole Chuck Berry,
His rock'n'roll shall never die,
The legends rock on in the sky,
Now none of us are quite so merry,
Goodbye, bon chance, to ole Chuck Berry,
God speed, you made us all feel merry,
Hail, Hail, ole Chuck Berry....

A verse from an ******* girl,
How not to save the world,
We all know the answers to this,
Industry leaders give it a miss,
The finance sector us to hector,
Is our nation to be beggars?
Division between the plebs, not grots,
Too much 'have' and 'have not',
We all know how not to save the world,
Verse to read from an ******* girl....

A strong smell memory,
What do lilacs smell like to me?
It's like a childhood prompt,
of a garden long gone,
Sweet fragrances divine,
Lilacs in old gardens, time
passed, scent memory,
What do lilacs smell like to me?

DIY DISASTERS!
Once upon a lifetime,
I knitted a disaster line,
My sister was expecting,
So, I thought I'd be creating,
That first ****** looked beautiful,
Second, third and fourth not so dutiful,
They turned into footy boots size,
So I bought socks in Kmart--surprise!
I never found a baby with four different feet,
For DIY disasters, booties can't be beat.......

An ode to Cosmology,
where does the universe get its energy?
.Billions of humans with their synergy,
.Does this ode belong in a trilogy?
Let's play our love infinitely,
Give our eternal love a serve,
The big bang at the end of the Universe,
Now we collapse into entropy,
Stardust clusters in cosmology,
Universal loving energy!

What is a genuine love?
Is it the boy-girl stuff?
Or love in a divine glove?
Like blessings from above,
Or blessings all around,
From Heaven to the ground,
So, is this genuine love?
Love in a divine glove.......

Men have great ideas in bed,
Including when they're duly wed,
Why is that, do you ask?
Plugging into a genius is the task!
The woman of the day of course,
Love is an incredible force,
Inspiration, creation,
Can lead to innovation,
Plugging into a genius is the quest,
Women can handle it the best!

Let's hear it for vaccines, my dears,
The 'anti' movement's  in full sway here,
Now there's measles in Melbourne, no cheers,
Summer epidemics, the parents' fears,
Let's hear it for vaccines, my dears!

A member of the dating scene,
Only online, giggles it seems,
Today a man did 'wink' at me,
Can you imagine, hilarity,
He lives 3000 miles away, by the sea,
****** fungus covers he,
He has more than slight obesity,
Should I wink at the walrus? Tee hee,
I'llpack up my gear and get out of here,
You'll manage without me, non-dear,
I'm off to a walrus by the sea,
You'll learn to cook your lunch and tea,
Byeee! Yeah, well in reality,
I've got cellulite and jocularity!

Fantasies can be futile, but fun,
Better than fixations for some,
Fantasies are great for everyone,
When company at your side there's none,
Let's fantasise,
And visualise---
Impossible dreams my brain ran,
All over some intangible man,
Must believe in the invisible,
So not really credible,
But better than fixations for some,
Fantasies can be futile, but fun.

A perfect world would be Paradise,
Global peace, bliss more than nice,
Collective communion of one human soul,
A garden of Eden, as in days of old,
Elysian Fields would be Heaven on Earth,
True Shangri-la, for what it's worth,
Equitable Peace, one human hand,
Friendly faces, our true dream land,
A perfect world would be Paradise,
Global Peace, bliss more than nice.

Let's raise a bitter glass,
Football's here at last,
And that's not all,
Teams do crowds enthrall,
From a victory,
****** defeat, you see,
No flag again this year,
Bitter glass, my dears,
Football's finally a'loose,
Pour that glass of bitter juice!

I'm passing hours, pondering ectoplasm,
Ethereal ghosts float over time's dark chasms,
I'm musing on ectoplasm, so pensive,
Would a shade of Jesus be God's missive?
Glimmer of wraiths, sight unseen,
Are they the long gone racing team?
Ectoplasm, I wonder at spirits and souls,
Angels appear in dreams, faces of old,
This side of midnight, not too far away,
Loved ones guiding us every day,
Life changing old souls, in a collective,
Maybe a shade of Jesus would be a missive,

I'm pondering ectoplasm, bemused and pensive.

We love our sunburnt Christmas,
Hot for Christmas Day, no less,
Maybe a hint of eucalyptus,
Good old Australian Christmas,
We pray for a peaceful day,
The slow news Christmas way,
Encircle the world in a Christmas embrace,
Hot for Christmas, no less,
Yes, we do  love our sunburnt Christmas!

We work-to-rule, we're molls,
We are not unfeeling dolls,
Molls don't make extra cuppas for you,
We write our own rules to suit,
It's up to you to not be rude,
I say, "Pappa don't preach!" to you,
Molls write lots of rules,
They've got their own cooking school,
We cook when we want to,
The world is not run for you,
Yes, molls now have  work-to-rules.

It's romance versus the future, chicks,
What sort of guy makes you click?
Is he a loveable kind of dude?
What makes him think he's right for you?
And what do you think about him?
Is it all about that wedding ring?
Is he really such a handsome prince?
Is it more than skin deep, thick?
It's romance versus the future, chicks,
What sort of guy makes you click?

In Oz, we don't like political jokes,
Here, they all get elected, folks,
Pollies sell their souls for money,
Their salaries aren't even funny,
Then they get super to retire,
Better candidates we should hire,
Different from our oldies and veterans,
They're on measly financial plans,
Yes, that's why we don't like political jokes,
Here,  they all get elected, folks.

Yes, it's Christmas, you know,
We'll all buy Easter eggs tomorrow,
Let's have a peaceful Christmas,
Easter eggs tomorrow, no fuss!
No need to commercialise, I guess,
Have a great day, no less,
Yes, it's Christmas, no woe,
We'll all buy Easter eggs tomorrow!

Is true religion,
Facing extinction?
Amazing  true love,\
Brotherhood from above,
Hands across the miles,
Smiles to last a while,
Oh, that was the intention.....
Is true religion,
Facing extinction?

There is a river of life and time,
I celebrate it in this rhyme,
A vast, flowing broad waterway,
We're swept along in a tide of days,
People floating far and near,
Ships in the nights, close and dear,
Then we all sort of float in lines,
There is a river of life and times.........

So, a usual Melbourne summer,
We chat to anyone about the weather,
Very safe subject in Melbourne town,
Raining, then bushfires to cause a frown,
It's either stinking hot, then freezing cold,
Droughts and mists, or scorchers of old,
Four seasons in one day, to ring the changes,
Tomorrow, there'll be bushfires in the ranges,
But today, it's cold and rain,
Good drinking water down the drain,
Yes, a  usual Melbourne summer,
I even wrote a verse  about the weather......

What bores you?
Do you accept BS too?
Yawn! Can't you get anyone better, grot,
Whining is so tiring, boring, I've got
so 'over' your whinging, you see,
I'm sure you can get someone better than me!

It's have an opposite day,
You write, I'll draw, let's say,
Or I'll write a one act play,
Whoops! Write a verse anyway,
So much for opposites day.........

Note well, all you New Year's mad hatters,
It's the future that really matters,
With all your joyous bevies and beers,
Blazing fireworks and raucous cheers,
What does really matter,
All you party hearty mad hatters?
What's our New Year's resolutions,
As we commence our anticipation?
What about peace as liberation?
Or making extinct extinction,
For all our human population,
And our animal populations?
Can we think of any new solutions,
Beyond reafforestation?
How can we end terrorism?
Which masks the real perdition--
Running the world on munitions....
Very unpopular thoughts, my dears,
One of my muse's strange ideas,
How can we create a better place,
For everyone in the human race?
So, all you New Year's mad hatters,
It's all our futures that matter.