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Emily Rene Sep 2013
“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -
And sore must be the storm -
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -
And on the strangest Sea -
Yet - never - in Extremity,
It asked a crumb - of me.
This is one of my favorite poems , & it has helped me through a lot of things in my life.
I thought that maybe , just maybe , it could help one of you too...
Emily Rene Oct 2013
The first time I actually met you,
your name was all I knew.
But as we got to know each other,
daydreaming was all I could ever do.

You were taken by another girl,
& as was I with another man.
But not so deep down within me,
I'd rather have been holding your hand.

Thinking about us taking long walks,
or holding hands as we could talk.
All these thoughts were such a bliss,
when all I wanted was a simple kiss.

Thinking about you holding me tight,
wondering & hoping you just might.
Those bright blue eyes staring down at me,
finally thinking that it was meant to be.
Emily Rene Nov 2014
I wrote down what you
meant to me today
*Everything
Emily Rene Oct 2014
Ronnie told me to write a poem
but I am very intoxicated.
So.
This is my poem.
You're welcome Ronnie.
You are welcome.
Emily Rene Nov 2014
He was ******
in my veins &
I just couldn't
get enough of him.
I was completely
stuck in his trance
from the first moment
he laid eyes on me.

I was his property
& he knew it.

He took advantage,
& I let him because
what is a drug addict
without its drug?

*Nothing.
Emily Rene Nov 2014
I'm so incredibly jealous of
anyone who speaks to you
Emily Rene May 2015
So I'll lay in bed at 3:00 AM
& think about that one picture
I left on my instagram of you
Not because you're in it,
but because it's my favorite
You can see the way your
eyes sparkle in my direction
& how perfect our hands look
interlocked with one anothers
It's a great ******* picture
& there could have been more
had I not seen the picture of
*you & her
Emily Rene May 2015
There would be a riot
Breakin' of my heart,
I'd try to fight it
I could go out every night,
but I'd be lying
if I said I couldn't
live & breath
without you
There'd be a lot of lonely
Wishin' & prayin'
that you would hold me
I would do most anything, baby,
if only you'd come back to me
Come back to me,
there would be a riot
Rascal Flatts
Emily Rene May 2015
I've been staring at this
****
blinking
cursor
for about forty-five minutes
& still have absolutely nothing
to write about
Maybe I'll write
about him or the
way he makes me
feel inside my
awkward stomach,
or maybe I'll go
a different route
& write about
the way it
feels in my
chest to
think
about
him
.


Like a dagger to my heart
First attempt at making a picture
Emily Rene Jun 2015
I cannot stand to be
continuously touched
It makes me anxious
& sick to my stomach
He was the one who
understood my struggle
He accepted it &
respected my boundaries

Why couldn't you?

I'm not asking much
when I'd rather sleep alone
It is not because I'm
not interested, but because
it makes me physically ill
You're touch is comforting,
don't get me wrong,
but cuddling gives me anxiety

When we're in public
& you kiss me,
I want to get in a ball
& roll away from the scene
He understood this
& would hold my hand
He accepted that PDA
made me uncomfortable

Why couldn't you?

When you kiss me in front
of all of our friends
& sometimes strangers,
I get nervous & shakey
It's not their business
& they don't need to see
cause PDA gives me anxiety

When I see a door ****,
I refuse to touch it
I will use any excuse to
have someone open the door
or open it myself with no contact
He understood this &
would never let a door close
He accepted it & carried
around GermX at all times

Why couldn't you?

I'm not asking much of you
to open a door for me
You are not my slave,
it's just called kindness,
cause germs give me anxiety

I lose people I love
because of my anxiety
I try to make up for it
in little things I do,
but usually it's not enough
But if I'm uncomfortable
& seriously unhappy,
what's the loss?
I'll find another him
that accepts me for me

You just couldn't
Emily Rene May 2015
Baby
we were born with
fire & gold
in our
eyes
Lightning in a
bottle
Hand on the
throttle
Even in the
dust
We shine
With fire & gold
in our
eyes
Bea Miller
Emily Rene May 2015
My mama always told me
everything can be fixed
with a little duct tape
& a lot of easy lovin'

Maybe I can do the same
thing, but with your heart
Emily Rene May 2015
We were matched
Brought together
because obviously
we found each other
attractive on tinder
That's all I saw was
your face, I didn't
even read your bio
I don't think I ever do
Tinder is a joke
I use it for my
entertainment when
I'm bored & lonely

But you...
changed my mind
in a simple hello

I'm meeting you
tonight & I'm
completely & utterly
terrified that maybe
you aren't real &
I'm just too naive
to realize quick enough

But I'm taking the chance
I might die tonight. XD
Emily Rene May 2015
I remember our first kiss
It was an accident & you
wouldn't stop apologizing
because you had one past
too many to drink

     You were broken like a
     shattered glass bowl filled
     with your favorite kind of
     cereal & way too much milk
          As it fell to the floor, your
          heart dropped just as fast,
          immediately realizing that
          this couldn't be undone
     You'd have to clean up all
     of the glass & soggy bits of
     sugary flakes from the floor
     all by yourself with no help
          You cursed to yourself through
          clenched teeth & a closed jaw,
          tears daring to escape your eyes
          like the milk pouring & dripping
          over the sides of the broken bowl
                    You swore off cereal all together
                    because the agony of possibly
                    breaking another bowl had
                    your head & heart in a whirl
                    of confusion & annoyance
               Slowly as you began to pick the
               broken pieces of glass from the floor,
               piece after piece being thrown away,
               this task you found a chore
               becomes more of a necessity
               that you didn't realize until
               the big mess was already created
          Wiping up the chunks of sugar
          & tossing them in the trash,
          a small smile curls at the
          corners of your mouth
     Pain runs through your veins,
     but relief washes over your core
     as you realize the worst is over

The kiss that I remember
was not of regret, but beauty
I'm on this sugar high &
I'm not sure I can come down

     But you don't want cereal anymore
           so I'll eat this bowl alone
Emily Rene May 2015
Maybe I'm broken
past any repair
Don't bother stopping,
cause nobody's there
I'm falling to the ground,
scared to look down
I'm not afraid of heights,
I'm afraid I might drown
Original song in the making.
Emily Rene May 2015
Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight,
I know she's there &
you're probably hanging out & making eyes,
while across the room she stares
I'll bet she gets the nerve to walk the floor,
& ask my man to dance & he'll say yes
Because these words were never easier
for me to say or him to second guess
But I guess
that I can live without you but
without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all that I hoped to find
in every single way
& everything I would give
is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home,
you're a thousand miles away
& the hardest part of living
is just taking breaths to stay
Cause I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet, but I need it

& this'll be the first time in a week
that I'll talk to you & I can't speak
It's been three whole days since I've had sleep
Cause I dream of her lips on your cheek
& I got the point that I should leave you alone,
but we both know that I'm not that strong
& I miss the lips that made me fly

But I guess
that I can live without you but
without you I'll be miserable at best
Mayday Parade
Emily Rene Jun 2014
She comes to the bed slowly,
my eyes grazing at the beauty
of her naked flesh,
believing that this is a dream,
but it isn't.
We are both here
ready to do what we have wanted
for so long.
Dreamed of it,
talked about it so much,
but always postponed the moment.
Her actions shows that she is nervous,
which makes me feel relieved
for I thought I would be the only one.
We stand in front of each other,
gazing into each others eyes
as I tell her,
we can go as far as she wants to,
that I don't want to force her.
She smiles and says,
that she knows & that she trusts me.
As she moves her body closer to mine,
we kiss tenderly.
The yearning desire burning white hot
as I carefully lead her to the bed while we embrace.
Not knowing what to do,
we let instinct take over,
as that which we longed for comes true.
Flesh rubbing against flesh,
our bodies joined as one,
thrusting to the rhythm of our heartbeat.
Such pleasure fills us, thrills us with such desire.
More intense than we had imagined.
For the moment, we become one body,
one soul,
that two hearts are beating for
till we explode & I drain my essence into her
as she holds me tight.
Limbs entwined, we kiss,
not moving,
while we are enveloped in the passion
that we shared with each other.
Then I whisper, I love you,
so softly in her ear.
Before sleep comes
& drifts us off into a dream,
but none could be as pleasant
as the moment we just shared.
Written as a character from a story I am writing.
Emily Rene Mar 2015
You're the direction
I follow to get home
When I feel like I can't go on,
you tell me to go
& it's like I can't feel a thing
without you around
& don't mind me if I
get weak in the knees
'cause you have that
effect on me, you do

Everything you say,
everything time we kiss,
I can't think straight,
but I'm okay
& I can't think anybody else
who I hate to miss as much
as I hate missing you

Months going strong now,
& no goodbye
Unconditional, unoriginal,
always by my side
Meant to be together,
meant for no one but each other
You love me,
I love you harder so

So please, give me your hands
So please, give me a lesson
on how to steal, steal my heart
as fast as you stole mine, as you stole mine

Oh, & everything you say,
every time we kiss,
I can't think straight,
but I'm okay
& I can't think of anybody else
who I hate to miss as much
as I hate missing you

So please, give me your hands
So please, just take my hand
Hey Monday
Emily Rene Mar 2015
Do not love me yet, for I
     am still a teenager
          A scimitar about the heart,
                too sharp to touch too soon
                      Before I'm touched, I need to grow
                more full in golden light;
          I need to smile upon my life
     & rule some path of the night
          I need to know what roads & fields
                lie in my domain
                      & dull my brand new ecstasies
                              with sophomoric pain
                                     I need the love of some clueless boy
                              as smart & wicked as me,
                      that we might ***** in ignorance
                             & fear of what might be
                                    & then when I'm all grown up,
                                           & know what I can hold,
                                     Then, perhaps, we could try love,
                               if you're not too old
Emily Rene Feb 2015
You broke my heart in two
& took me like a bet
with all you put me through,
I have so many regrets
To lose you was worth it,
although I wasn't sure
It seemed to make me happy,
but still so insecure
We always said forever,
we would take it to the end,
never give it up,
but this time my heart couldn't mend
It cut so deep into me,
I guess it hurt you too,
but when you did it, then you lied
I had to say "we're through"
I gave you all I had,
I tried to make it last,
but now all we have
are memories from the past
You broke my heart in two
And took me like a bet,
with all you put me through
I have so many regrets.
So look me in the eye
& tell me what you see,
a girl so broke inside,
who's been through misery
& now I'm moving on
with the pain that kills inside,
but I'm starting to forget
by reminding myself how you lied
I have somebody new,
someone to treat me right,
to talk to lovingly
& to hold me all night
He's there for me when I need him,
to give me love & support,
to hold me close & wipe away
all my signs of hurt
To kiss me softly every night
& let me know he's there
To call me just because,
just to tell me that he cares
Emily Rene Apr 2015
You bring out this weird thing inside me
      Something I haven't experienced before
            It bubbles up like dish soap in a sink
     & then it pours over the sides every time
            I hear your laugh

             When you tell me something nice,
                    you don't understand how little I get it
             & it makes me smile for more than seconds,
       but minutes, hours, days, every time
             I hear your voice

             You held my hand differently than others
      Like you had something to say with your fingers,
maybe a story about how well they fit entangled
      with one another's or a short love story every time
            I feel your touch

"So will you go to prom with me," you asked me,
       so casually, but I didn't need anything big or more
              like I thought I wanted because that all changed
       as soon as I met you & fell for your charm every time
             *I see you
Why did I have to meet you...
Emily Rene Feb 2015
I wish I wasn't so doG danm dyslexic
Emily Rene Mar 2015
"I've worked too hard & long to let
anything stand in the way of my happiness...
I love you, Emily."
-His Senior Quote 2014

"Bet."
-My Senior Quote 2015
Emily Rene Mar 2015
We were victims of the night,
the chemical, physical, kryptonite
Helpless to the bass & faded light
Oh, we were bound to get together,
bound to get together
She took my arm,
I don't know how it happened
We took the floor and she said,

"Oh, don't you dare look back
Just keep your eyes on me"
I said, "You're holding back"
She said, "Shut up & dance with me"
This woman is my destiny
She said, "Oh, oh, oh,
shut up & dance with me"

A backless dress & some beat up sneaks,
my discotheque, Juliet teenage dream
I felt it in my chest as she looked at me
I knew we were bound to be together,
bound to be together

Deep in her eyes,
I think I see the future
I realize this is my last chance
She took my arm,
I don't know how it happened
We took the floor & she said,

"Oh, don't you dare look back
Just keep your eyes on me"
I said, "You're holding back"
She said, "Shut up & dance with me"
This woman is my destiny
She said, "Oh, oh, oh,
shut up & dance with me"
Walk the Moon
Emily Rene Feb 2015
I am absolutely terrified
because I know this feeling
inside me is exactly what
I didn't want to experience
*Love
Emily Rene Feb 2015
What the eye does not see,
the heart does not grieve for
But when the truth comes out,
it will always hurt more
Blinded by love, I failed to see
how much of an ******* you were to me
Perhaps too young, too crazy, & free,
but I'll never understand why you did that to me
They say if you love somebody,
then you should set them free
As you never came back,
I think it was meant to be
I am not bitter or angry anymore,
in fact my life has been better
since you walked out the door
I thank you for the gift in which you gave to me
A very special treasure, it truly is a pleasure
I gave you a chance,
in fact I gave you so many
But you couldn't be bothered
to even spend a penny
The door was still open, but nobody came
I should have known it would still be the same
It is not my place to play God with life,
but if you don't make the effort,
you're not worth the strife
Perhaps one day you might make the call,
to make the wrongs right, & not start a fight
I hope by then it's not too late,
but I suppose I can't change fate
I would like to think we are at peace with each other
At one point in time, you were my finest lover
Some people just aren't meant to be together,
but that doesn't mean you are lonely forever
Somewhere there is someone who dreams of your smile
& finds in your presence that life is worthwhile
So when you are lonely, remember it's true,
somebody somewhere is thinking of you

*& that someone is not me
Emily Rene Feb 2015
What if I went out every night
& kept my phone on silent
so that every time you called
it would keep ringing & ringing
until my annoying voicemail
flooded your ears over & over
about three dozen times or more

Call again

What if I said I had too much going on
& that my grandparents or father
needed my assistance for something
far more important than wasting
any of my time on you or your family
even though plans were nonexistent

Try again

What if I was late to school almost
two times a week because I knew
I could get away with sneaking to
her house while you woke your
mom up so that she could take you
to school because I was "oversleeping"

Late again

What if I held your hand everyday
down the hallways of this hell hole
& kissed you goodbye before each
& every bell, but found my seat
next to her in the back of the room
where no one would suspect a thing

Goodbye again

What if you started to notice that
I was slowly starting to fade away
& thought I was talking with her
& I yelled at you for accusing me
& thinking I was untrustworthy
& maybe I forgot the real truth myself

Yell again

What if I got caught in her bed
one early morning by her father
& he called & told my mother
& she threatened to kick me out
if I didn't tell you so I lied again
& promised that I had told you,
but I wasn't telling you anything

Lie again

What if someone else told you
& I ran out of lies to tell you,
but I still continued with my streak
& tried lying my way out of losing you,
but you were done with my *******

Done again

What if she wasn't my only lover on the side
What if I had lost count of all of them
What if I promised to change
What if

*You can't
Emily Rene Nov 2013
L
Le
Let
Let M
Let Me
Let Me E
Let Me Ex
Let Me Exp
Let Me Expl
Let Me Expla
Let Me Explai
Let Me Explain
Let Me Explai
Let Me Expla
Let Me Expl
Let Me Exp
Let Me Ex
Let Me E
Let Me
Let M
Let
Le
L
no
Y
Yo
You
You C
You Ca
You Can'
You Can't
You Can't E
You Can't Ex
You Can't Exp
You Can't Expl
You Can't Expla
You Can't Explai
You Can't Explain
You Can't Explai
You Can't Expla
You Can't Expl
You Can't Exp
You Can't Ex
You Can't E
You Can't
You Can'
You Ca
You C
You
Yo
Y
*I don't want
an explanation
Emily Rene Nov 2014
Remember when we
were best friends
& we called on each
other when in need
& we would sit right
next to each other
in every class that
we could because
that's how close we
we were to one another
& everyone asked
if we were dating
because it's apparently
not normal for a boy
& a girl to be just friends
But that was the case,
wasn't it?
That was why our
friendship ended
so abrubtly,
so suddenly,
so out of the blue
Maybe not
You found out I
didn't like you back,
so you did the
number one thing
you do best
You ran away,
you left me,
you abandoned
everything we had
because I like him
& not you
So I'm very sorry
that I don't love you,
but I am not at fault here
*You are
Emily Rene Oct 2013
The flyest chick that I will ever know,
she be cooler than winter, cooler than snow.
Her name is Hannah, but thats doesn't matter,
she's even better than the ******* Mad Hatter.

'Imperfection is Beauty,' is her favorite motto.
What the hell in the world rhymes with motto...
I'm definitely not perfect when it comes to poetry,
But I'm sure my Hannah-Kins still loves me.

I may have met her recently in this school year,
but she's an amazing & rad girl, I'd share my beer.
I just wanted my best friend Hannah to know,
I love her & I'll never let her go...
(Not in a creepy stalker kinda way... eh. Maybe)
Emily Rene Jul 2013
Can no one see this smile I'm faking,
See how, inside, I'm constantly shaking?
There people all claim they know me so well,
Yet no one can see through my crumbling shell?

"I'm fine," I whisper, my sadness unknown,
They leave me to deal with this anguish alone.
I've hidden behind this wall most of my life,
I've managed so far, I've dealt with my strife.

Watching as, slowly, my blood leaks away,
It helps to keep life's true horrors at bay.
I pull down my sleeve to cover my hurt,
For approaching footsteps, I'm on the alert.

I guess my pretense is just all too real,
No one has to know of the pain that I feel.
The real me inside, where no one can see,
I can fool everyone else, why can't I fool me?
Emily Rene Jul 2013
I have a boyfriend, you should know,
even though no one knows.
I only have this boyfriend for a day,
our dates consist of FatDaySunday.
I buy her an ice cream from BurgerKing,
not McDonalds, that tastes like DING.
I'm sorry for my words of profanity,
But I'm known to drive with insanity.
Oh, no, my ice cream is out the door,
I must turn around & get some more.
Time to start thriftshopping because we're el' cheapo,
yell out the window, maybe something like "BURRITO!"
FatDaySunday always has to come to an end,
I can't wait to see my boyfriend again.
Emily Rene Nov 2014
When did promises
become temporary?
Emily Rene Nov 2014
I took you at your word,
when you said you would
steal my heart
This might sound absurd,
but would be my thief
take all of me, every part

Love, love, love is my crime
So baby, come catch me
& let's do the time

I think we might be outlaws,
I think I might be in love
Cause I'm all out of reasons,
like seasons, winter, summer, fall,
they're all washed up
& you're still way over there,
maybe slide on in by my side
cause I'm just an outlaw
wanted if you want me

I love you every day & every night

Lock me up for good
Right here in your arms
You vandalize my neighborhood
with your piercing eyes
& devilish charm

Love, love, love is my crime
So baby, come catch me
& let's do the time

I think we might be outlaws,
I think I might be in love
cause I'm all out of reasons,
like seasons, winter, summer, fall,
they're all washed up
& you're still way over there
maybe slide on in by my side
cause I'm just an outlaw
wanted if you want me

Love, love, love is my crime
So baby, come catch me
& let's do the time

I love you every day & every night
David Lambert
Emily Rene Oct 2013
Depression
is
not
just
sadness.
Its
an
emotion
of
lonely
&
inner
madness.
Emily Rene Jul 2013
I took a walk around the neighborhood today,
just to try to pass the time away.
I saw lots of people walking too,
I stepped right in a pile of doggy doo.
I thought for a moment just what could be done,
to clean up the streets of doggie dung.
Maybe I'll invent something really super,
even finer than a pooper scooper.
A port a ***** for out four legged friends,
on every street corner where every road bends.
Then I'll become famous for this awesome invention,
at the monthly town meetings, my name will be mentioned.
They'll throw a big party and dance in the streets,
because never again will there be **** on our feet.
Emily Rene Oct 2014
Across the way
I see you there
standing hunched
with lanky hair.

Shoulders slouched,
reet drag behind,
despair clings to you,
no happiness of any kind.

Life seems grim,
no hope to be found.
Eyes bloodshot,
spirit soul bound.

Tied to a path
you don't wanna take.
There is nothing you can do
to escape your fate.

But what if I told you
that I had a way,
a way to be you,
to help you break away?

Would you give me a chance,
listen to what I say,
or is your spirit too broken
to believe I have a way?

So there you will stay
in your empty little shell.
I have tried to save you,
but you have already fell.

Fell into that deep hole
where depression sets in
& you don't even care,
you chose to sink, not swim.

A pity, you choose to stay
in your world of dark despair
until someone pulls you out
by showing that they care.

This is what I want,
want to do for you.
We've only just met,
yet I know that this is true.

Love at first sight
is what they'll say this is,
but I say it's something else,
not just wanting a kiss.

It's wanting to show a person
that someone is out there,
someone to cherish
to show that they care.

If you let me,
you will be my treasure.
I'll pull you from depression,
show you a life with no measure.
Emily Rene Nov 2014
It begins as a noise in the background,
keeping a steady beat as it makes its round
It can be found at any time of day,
it's so simple, just push play

It creates a story for everyone's life
as if it understands your struggles & strife
It's impossible to stop, it's purpose will be served
as if not to judge on whether or not you deserve

Of complete reality & worry filled days,
when life gets too real, there's something that says
I'll be with you through the happy & sad,
the really great days and even the bad

It lingers as if ready at any possible time
to life you off your feet & begin to fly
away from all the grief, sorrow, & pain
to tell your mind that it's free again

No judging or casting a nasty glare
Just to let you know that it's always there
as the shoulder to cry on when no one else care
& casts you alone to face all your scares

It will give you a feeling that no one else can
& open your eyes to the ever growing span
of opportunity & dare & even the strength
to end it all or just shoot blanks

It tends to all of our daily needs
not for us, but with us so we really can see
the magic of you when in a crowd,
nothing else will sound as loud

As the beats, bells, & whistles that are in your head,
revealing to you a new path to tread
For you will follow no one your path will be your own
because you are lead by something that can't be owned

To be there for whenever you desire
is its one purpose, to light your fire
It can't be stopped if the will is steady
It can be unleashed, it's always ready

To light up your day or slow down the time,
to yell at the world, or even to cry
To help you with whatever you may need
or just to be there for whenever you please

It will live until the end of time,
serving its purpose, to let its light shine
Remember family, friends, & even pets,
but most of all music, never forget
Emily Rene Oct 2014
Would you care if we quit talking?
Would you care if I went walking?
I need to know how you feel,
so I that I know how to deal.
I like it when you're by my side,
I hate it when you try to hide.
All the cheating & the lies,
brings me one step closer to saying goodbye.
I know the cheating is a fact
because I've caught you in the act.
I wish I had more trust in you,
but it's hard since I busted you.
Seems to me you wouldn't care,
even if I wasn't there.
I always wonder who you're with,
hoping it's not another chick.
I'm not saying I don't believe you,
it's just too many people want me to leave you.
But you are everything to me,
which is why I want us to always be.
Believing you may be a mistake,
but it's a risk I'm willing to take.
I really love you, always know I do,
& remember there will always be a me & you.
Emily Rene Oct 2014
What does forever mean to you?
When you couldn't even keep it true.
You said you'd forever be there,
but were those just words from thin air?
Did you actually love me?
Did you really see the feelings I see?
The truth, the love, the loyal tears,
the betrayal, the hate, the fears.
I thought you felt the same,
that you would cover me in the rain.
I thought forever & always was forever,
but now there's not an us, not ever.
You said you'd always be there for me,
but now I truly see.
That you never saw the feelings in my soul,
now you've pierced my heart with a hole.
But my heart will heal,
now I have friends that are real.
& You're gone out of my life,
unable to pierce me with the heartbreaking knives.
I thought forever was forever, not just a word,
but I guess that's not what I heard...
Emily Rene Nov 2014
The truth is
I don't know
what I want
& I probably
never will
because I'm
far too
indecisive
on everything
that could or
will be
important to
me in the
long run

It absolutely
terrifies me
to think about
who I might
end up with
& I know that
it shouldn't
because I
should be
happy with
whatever I
decide is
best for me

He was best
for me, but
everything
changed for
the worst in
a matter of
weak moments
when he didn't
think about
his actions &
****** up
because he
didn't get what
he wanted

He got what
he needed &
he realized too
late as I walked
far away,
leaving him
in the dust
as I left behind
a trail of tears
that he tried
to follow,
but couldn't
because I was
too far gone

Too far gone
in more interesting
thoughts as I
tried to ignore
every thought of
you that tried
to enter my mind
because I wasted
way too much
time with you
in my head as
it was when we
were happy,
that I didn't want
to possibly waste
even more time
on someone
that didn't
appreciate mine
Emily Rene Oct 2017
She has a pretty smile,
That goes on for a while
Her teeth are really white,
Some might say what a sight
She is always quick to hug & kiss,
When she's away, I really miss
When I am hurt, she cares so much
She always has that special touch
She quit her job when I was a baby,
So she could play & watch me daily
Brownies, cookies, candy, & cakes,
My Nana really loves to bake
For her job, homes she cleans,
Her clients love her so much they scream!
There really is no test,
My Nana is the very best
I found an old poem I wrote in the second grade & couldn't help but light up at the younger days.
Emily Rene Apr 2017
The truth I hold, took years to unfold,
locked up & never told
Now I speak, for I am done being weak
about the man I said was a one night stand
'Cause I wrapped a cast around my damaged heart
& signed it, "I wasn't *****"

It's strange how a few short seconds
Can lead you in a whole new direction
It alters how you think & act,
& see your own reflection
From a single moment on,
My life was forever changed
Like everything I previously knew,
Had suddenly been rearranged
I can go to psychiatrists
& spill out all my thoughts,
They can prescribe me pills
& say that I've been taught

But I still think about that night,
When I couldn't find the light
In the bathroom so I peed in the dark
Cause I was too drunk to figure out a light switch
Little light shined through the cracked door
Cause of a pair of boxer shorts on the floor,
But I still heard the creaking of the door
As someone behind it pushed it forward

I pulled my jeans up & flushed my bladder,
My foggy eyes looked up, his mouth watered
I reached for the door, but his hands wandered
For my waistline until he pushed me against the washer
His other hand slid up my shirt
& I thought I had stopped breathing
I pushed my hands against his chest,
& his mouth crashed against mine too fast
My mouth started bleeding as I pulled
My lip from the metal braces of his lower teeth,
Tears stained my cheeks before his fun was over
His strong hand forced my head below his zipper,
As the other ripped the button free

I envy that button
October 23, 2014 @ a stupid college party
Emily Rene Oct 2016
I will always love you,
remember that
You can push me away,
but I'll always come back
You can deny your desire,
& say it can't be,
but I won't let the walls
come between you & me
You're afraid of your dark side,
the harm you could cause,
I have never feared your hands,
or their sharp pointy claws
I love them, I love you,
I love all that you are
Protest all you like,
but you will not get far
You can never change my mind,
my heart will stay true
I'll do everything I can
to get closer to you
I will wait for you forever,
so get used to that fact
I will always love you,
remember that...
Emily Rene Aug 2015
I'm done writing poems about you

Who am I kidding?
Emily Rene Nov 2017
I miss how we used to be,
So vibrant, so honest, so wild & free

I miss the way you would understand,
Listen carefully, & be there when I needed a hand

I miss our long, random talks at night,
Our private conversations, our silly little fights

I miss the way you could read my mind,
Know what to say, when words are hard to find

I miss the way you could brighten my day,
Make me forget the mistakes, make the pain go away

I miss how you made me laugh,
I hate how you make me cry

Loved how you said you'd always be there & so did I,
But to you, everything that I say is just a lie
I ****** up, but what's new?
Emily Rene Sep 2015
I still think about you all the time
& I've wondered the same of you
Do you think back at our first kiss,
the way your stare was alcoholic
& you were way past intoxicated
Your lips were soft & rememberable,
I couldn't get the taste off my tongue,
& now when I taste fireball whiskey,
the only thought on my mind is you

& how much I've grown to hate whiskey
Emily Rene Sep 2017
You never turn the lights off
When we get ready for bed
You play the sounds of the rain
As loudly as you can
It helps you sleep,
So I shouldn’t complain
Cause at least now I don’t
Have to worry about what I say
You can smoke without me,
But if I do, it’s like I’m cheating
You can have a good time,
But would **** me for breathing
You make me feel little,
& you make me feel dumb
When I state my opinion,
It’s the wrong one
Everything I say is another battle
Of you being angry
& me just being sad
This poem has no ******* rhythm,
Cause I can’t see my screen
I’m too busy crying at
What you said to me
I’ve typed out a hundred
Different honest replies,
But backspace them all,
Too scared, I’d rather lie
I know I deserve better,
But you always play victim
I just want to be happy,
But I’ve lost all my freedom
Emily Rene Sep 2017
I'm tired of dreaming,
I'm through with trying
Tired of living,
yet scared of dying
Maybe things are good for you,
but look at all that I've been through
Look at all the pain I've won,
I bet you think that it's been fun
You never thought I'd turn away,
you never believed you'd see this day
Look again, cause here I go,
leaving behind all that I know
Changing it all as I must do,
not daring to stop & think things through
Wanting to run as fast as I can,
not stopping until I understand
Like why did I let things get this way?
Why didn't I leave, like, yesterday?
How are things going to be,
when there is no more you & me?
Emily Rene Jun 2016
The feeling of missing you
makes my head spin &
at times I feel queasy
because I used to be able
to write about my pain
& how I'm feeling on paper
or in a poem on this site
so easily as if it were writing
my name on the top of an
all nighter essay that was
due first thing the next morning,
but because of how much I miss you,

I've forgotten how to spell it
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