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10.7k · May 2015
Fifty . Sugar High Friendzone
Emily Rene May 2015
I remember our first kiss
It was an accident & you
wouldn't stop apologizing
because you had one past
too many to drink

     You were broken like a
     shattered glass bowl filled
     with your favorite kind of
     cereal & way too much milk
          As it fell to the floor, your
          heart dropped just as fast,
          immediately realizing that
          this couldn't be undone
     You'd have to clean up all
     of the glass & soggy bits of
     sugary flakes from the floor
     all by yourself with no help
          You cursed to yourself through
          clenched teeth & a closed jaw,
          tears daring to escape your eyes
          like the milk pouring & dripping
          over the sides of the broken bowl
                    You swore off cereal all together
                    because the agony of possibly
                    breaking another bowl had
                    your head & heart in a whirl
                    of confusion & annoyance
               Slowly as you began to pick the
               broken pieces of glass from the floor,
               piece after piece being thrown away,
               this task you found a chore
               becomes more of a necessity
               that you didn't realize until
               the big mess was already created
          Wiping up the chunks of sugar
          & tossing them in the trash,
          a small smile curls at the
          corners of your mouth
     Pain runs through your veins,
     but relief washes over your core
     as you realize the worst is over

The kiss that I remember
was not of regret, but beauty
I'm on this sugar high &
I'm not sure I can come down

     But you don't want cereal anymore
           so I'll eat this bowl alone
6.4k · Mar 2015
Forty Seven . Bet
Emily Rene Mar 2015
"I've worked too hard & long to let
anything stand in the way of my happiness...
I love you, Emily."
-His Senior Quote 2014

"Bet."
-My Senior Quote 2015
5.5k · Apr 2015
Forty Nine . Prom?
Emily Rene Apr 2015
You bring out this weird thing inside me
      Something I haven't experienced before
            It bubbles up like dish soap in a sink
     & then it pours over the sides every time
            I hear your laugh

             When you tell me something nice,
                    you don't understand how little I get it
             & it makes me smile for more than seconds,
       but minutes, hours, days, every time
             I hear your voice

             You held my hand differently than others
      Like you had something to say with your fingers,
maybe a story about how well they fit entangled
      with one another's or a short love story every time
            I feel your touch

"So will you go to prom with me," you asked me,
       so casually, but I didn't need anything big or more
              like I thought I wanted because that all changed
       as soon as I met you & fell for your charm every time
             *I see you
Why did I have to meet you...
Emily Rene May 2015
We were matched
Brought together
because obviously
we found each other
attractive on tinder
That's all I saw was
your face, I didn't
even read your bio
I don't think I ever do
Tinder is a joke
I use it for my
entertainment when
I'm bored & lonely

But you...
changed my mind
in a simple hello

I'm meeting you
tonight & I'm
completely & utterly
terrified that maybe
you aren't real &
I'm just too naive
to realize quick enough

But I'm taking the chance
I might die tonight. XD
5.0k · Sep 2015
Sixty Two . Asshole
Emily Rene Sep 2015
Because of you,
I cannot love anyone,
*******
2.8k · Oct 2013
Hannah
Emily Rene Oct 2013
The flyest chick that I will ever know,
she be cooler than winter, cooler than snow.
Her name is Hannah, but thats doesn't matter,
she's even better than the ******* Mad Hatter.

'Imperfection is Beauty,' is her favorite motto.
What the hell in the world rhymes with motto...
I'm definitely not perfect when it comes to poetry,
But I'm sure my Hannah-Kins still loves me.

I may have met her recently in this school year,
but she's an amazing & rad girl, I'd share my beer.
I just wanted my best friend Hannah to know,
I love her & I'll never let her go...
(Not in a creepy stalker kinda way... eh. Maybe)
2.7k · Dec 2014
Twenty Four . I Am the Joker
Emily Rene Dec 2014
A sinister crimson smile spreads across my lips,
thinking wicked thoughts while weapons I equip
My inky eyes narrow as I step into the street,
I have a dark night ahead & a hero to beat
I feel it's time for a new villain to grow,
one whose not afraid to watch the blood freely flow
I'm going to show them all whose really chief,
& never will I suffer any of their grief
I ask before I **** them, one last query,
"Why so serious?" I laugh viciously, their eyes get teary
Then as the blood pours from a fresh cut, I go insane,
merely a part of my psychopathic game
So here I am, carving smiles into their faces,
dicing their flesh into ribbons & laces
Waiting for the hero to try & save the day,
anticipating a new game for me to play
Because around here, you can't just be mediocre
They'll see, I'll show them, I am the Joker
My new friend & I became friends over a silly little discussion about the Joker, & it inspired me to write about the Clown Prince of Crime himself.
2.2k · Nov 2013
To This Day - Shane Koyczan
Emily Rene Nov 2013
When I was a kid
I used to think that pork chops & karate chops
were the same thing
I thought they were both pork chops
& because my grandmother thought it was cute
& because they were my favorite,
she let me keep doing it

Not really a big deal

One day,
before I realized fat kids are not designed to climb trees
I fell out of a tree
& bruised the right side of my body

I didn't want to tell my grandmother about it
because I was afraid I'd get in trouble
for playing somewhere that I shouldn't have been

A few days later,
the gym teacher noticed the bruise
& I got sent to the principals office
From there I was sent to another small room
with a really nice lady
who asked me all kinds of questions
about my life at home

I saw no reason to lie
As far as I was concerned,
life was pretty good
I told her, "Whenever I'm sad,
my grandmother gives me karate chops!"

This led to a full scale investigation
& I was removed from the house for three days
until they finally decided to ask how I got the bruise

News of this silly little story quickly spread through the school
& I earned my first nickname

Pork Chop

To this day
I hate pork chops

I'm not the only kid
who grew up this way
Surrounded by people who used to say
that rhyme about sticks & stones
as if broken bones
hurt more than the names we got called
& we got called them all
So we grew up believing no one
would ever fall in love with us
That we'd be lonely forever
That we'd never meet someone
to make us feel like the sun
was something they built for us
in their tool shed
so broken heart strings bled the blues
as we tried to empty ourselves
so we would feel nothing
Don't tell me that hurts less than a broken bone
That an ingrown life
is something surgeons can cut away
That there's no way for it to metastasize

It does

She was eight years old
our first day of grade three
when she got called ugly
We both got moved to the back of the class
so we would stop getting bombarded by spit *****
but the school halls were a battleground
where we found ourselves outnumbered day after wretched day
We used to stay inside for recess
because outside was worse
Outside we'd have to rehearse running away
or learn to stay still like statues giving no clues that we were there
In grade five,
they taped a sign to her desk that read
Beware Of Dog

To this day,
despite a loving husband,
she doesn't think she's beautiful
because of a birthmark
that takes up a little less than half of her face
Kids used to say she looks like a wrong answer
that someone tried to erase
but couldn't quite get the job done
& they'll never understand
that she's raising two kids
whose definition of beauty
begins with the word mom
because they see her heart
before they see her skin
because she's only ever always been amazing

He
was a broken branch
grafted onto a different family tree
Adopted
Not because his parents opted for a different destiny
He was three when he became a mixed drink
of one part left alone
& two parts tragedy
Started therapy in 8th grade
Had a personality made up of tests & pills.
Lived like the uphills were moutains
& the downhills were cliffs
Four fifths suicidal
A tidal wave of anti depressants
& an adolescence of being called Popper
One part because of the pills,
ninety nine parts because of the cruelty
He tried to **** himself in grade ten
when a kid who could still go home to mom & dad
had the audacity to tell him "Get over it," as if depression
is something that can be remedied
by any of the contents fround in a first aid kit

To this day
he is a stick of TNT lit from both ends
Could describe to you in detail the way the sky bends
in the moments before it's about to fall
& despite an army of friends
who all call him an inspiration,
he remains a conversation piece between people
who can't understand
Sometimes becoming drug free
has less to do with addiction
& more to do with sanity

We weren't the only kids who grew up this way

To this day
kids are still being called names
The classics were
hey stupid
hey spaz
Seems like each school has an arsenal of names
getting updated every year
& if a kid breaks in a school
& no one around chooses to hear,
do they make a sound?
Are they just the background noise
of a soundtrack stuck on repeat
when people say things like
kids can be cruel?
Every school was a big top circus tent
& the pecking order went
from acrobats to lion tamers
from clowns to carnies
All of these were miles ahead of who we were
We were freaks
Lobster claw boys & bearded ladies
Oddities
juggling depression & loneliness playing solitaire, spin the bottle
trying to kiss the wounded parts of ourselves & heal
But at night
while the others slept
we kept walking the tightrope
It was practice
& yes
some of us fell

But I want to tell them
that all of this ****
is just debris
leftover when we finally decide to smash all the things we thought
we used to be
& if you can't see anything beautiful about yourself,
get a better mirror
look a little closer
stare a little longer
because there's something inside you
that made you keep trying
Despite everyone who told you to quit
you built a cast around your broken heart
& signed it yourself
You signed it,
"They were wrong!"
because maybe you didn't belong to a group or a clique
Maybe they decided to pick you last for basketball or everything
Maybe you used to bring bruises & broken teeth
to show & tell but never told
because how can you hold your ground
if everyone around you wants to bury you beneath it
You have to believe that they were wrong

They have to be wrong

Why else would we still be here?
We grew up learning to cheer on the underdog
because we see ourselves in them
We stem from a root planted in the belief
that we are not what we were called
We are not abandoned cars stalled out &
sitting empty on a highway
& if in some way we are
don't worry
We only got out to walk & get gas
We are graduating members from the class of
we made it
Not the faded echoes of voices crying out
Names will never hurt me

Of course
they did

But our lives will only ever always
continue to be
a balancing act
that has less to do with pain
& more to do with *beauty
To This Day , I continue reading this poem to myself every time I feel used or unworthy.
1.7k · May 2015
Fifty One . Fire & Gold
Emily Rene May 2015
Baby
we were born with
fire & gold
in our
eyes
Lightning in a
bottle
Hand on the
throttle
Even in the
dust
We shine
With fire & gold
in our
eyes
Bea Miller
1.7k · May 2015
Fifty Eight . Insta-Slut
Emily Rene May 2015
So I'll lay in bed at 3:00 AM
& think about that one picture
I left on my instagram of you
Not because you're in it,
but because it's my favorite
You can see the way your
eyes sparkle in my direction
& how perfect our hands look
interlocked with one anothers
It's a great ******* picture
& there could have been more
had I not seen the picture of
*you & her
1.5k · Sep 2015
Sixty One . Whiskey Kisses
Emily Rene Sep 2015
I still think about you all the time
& I've wondered the same of you
Do you think back at our first kiss,
the way your stare was alcoholic
& you were way past intoxicated
Your lips were soft & rememberable,
I couldn't get the taste off my tongue,
& now when I taste fireball whiskey,
the only thought on my mind is you

& how much I've grown to hate whiskey
1.4k · Mar 2015
Forty Six . Shut Up & Dance
Emily Rene Mar 2015
We were victims of the night,
the chemical, physical, kryptonite
Helpless to the bass & faded light
Oh, we were bound to get together,
bound to get together
She took my arm,
I don't know how it happened
We took the floor and she said,

"Oh, don't you dare look back
Just keep your eyes on me"
I said, "You're holding back"
She said, "Shut up & dance with me"
This woman is my destiny
She said, "Oh, oh, oh,
shut up & dance with me"

A backless dress & some beat up sneaks,
my discotheque, Juliet teenage dream
I felt it in my chest as she looked at me
I knew we were bound to be together,
bound to be together

Deep in her eyes,
I think I see the future
I realize this is my last chance
She took my arm,
I don't know how it happened
We took the floor & she said,

"Oh, don't you dare look back
Just keep your eyes on me"
I said, "You're holding back"
She said, "Shut up & dance with me"
This woman is my destiny
She said, "Oh, oh, oh,
shut up & dance with me"
Walk the Moon
1.4k · May 2015
Fifty Seven . Duct Tape
Emily Rene May 2015
My mama always told me
everything can be fixed
with a little duct tape
& a lot of easy lovin'

Maybe I can do the same
thing, but with your heart
1.3k · Nov 2014
Eighteen . (10w)
Emily Rene Nov 2014
I wrote down what you
meant to me today
*Everything
1.3k · Feb 2015
Forty One . Dyslexia
Emily Rene Feb 2015
I wish I wasn't so doG danm dyslexic
Emily Rene Dec 2014
In second grade, we did an experiment with static electricity
We rubbed balloons on our heads,
& stuck them to walls
& kissing you is kinda like that
My hair stands on end,
I get shocked when I touch things
& I want to tell you stupid stuff like,
kissing you is a bundle of kittens
colliding with my face at .5 miles an hour
It's like being shot with a dart gun
made of hummingbirds
that shoots darts made of hummingbirds

& your lips are so soft,
I can't actually tell when we are touching,
like braiding hair underwater,
like napping under a blanket filled with rainbows & clouds,
& your favorite books

When you kiss me,
the cartoon devil & angel on my shoulder
climb into my ears,
like all of my neurons,
& start ******* on my brainsteam
If you were a 300 pound professional weight lifter
& if I were a Kia Sorento,
you could drag me anywhere

Kissing you is patient & impossibly slow,
like peeling paint off the wall with glittery stickers,
or cooking a turkey with a lighter
You remind me of the time in second grade
when Bethany Hopkirk
called me a freak face & stabbed me in the arm with a pencil
Cause kissing you is kinda like that,
unhealthy & will probably result in disfigurement
But baby, bring on the ****** scars & lead poisoning
Cause when you kiss me,
you are dangling me off a bridge by a belt
You are the screen door of my childhood,
all taste & swinging
So full of holes you could never keep anything in

You are every black eye,
you're a semitruck & I'm a turtle with two broken legs,
& a broken heart
You are illegal fireworks falling down stairs together,
driving on four flat tires,
playing frisbee at night with a saw blade
Kissing you is like falling out of a 37 story window,
exploding into a cloud of robins
& reappearing on the ground with my mouth full of feathers

& when I can't kiss you,
I try to find the static electricity in my apartment
I dig around in light sockets,
change lightbulbs with my teeth,
& make out with the toaster
& I know we've only been seeing eachother
for a couple of weeks,

But baby, when you kiss me,
I can't remember my middle name,
or which one is my left foot
So come over tonight
We'll shuffle around the apartment in our socks,
& we'll let our lips drift toward each other,
like tectonic plates made...

out of kittens
Neil Hilborn
1.2k · Nov 2017
Sixty Nine . Read Me
Emily Rene Nov 2017
I miss how we used to be,
So vibrant, so honest, so wild & free

I miss the way you would understand,
Listen carefully, & be there when I needed a hand

I miss our long, random talks at night,
Our private conversations, our silly little fights

I miss the way you could read my mind,
Know what to say, when words are hard to find

I miss the way you could brighten my day,
Make me forget the mistakes, make the pain go away

I miss how you made me laugh,
I hate how you make me cry

Loved how you said you'd always be there & so did I,
But to you, everything that I say is just a lie
I ****** up, but what's new?
1.2k · May 2015
Fifty Five . Riot
Emily Rene May 2015
There would be a riot
Breakin' of my heart,
I'd try to fight it
I could go out every night,
but I'd be lying
if I said I couldn't
live & breath
without you
There'd be a lot of lonely
Wishin' & prayin'
that you would hold me
I would do most anything, baby,
if only you'd come back to me
Come back to me,
there would be a riot
Rascal Flatts
Emily Rene Feb 2015
What the eye does not see,
the heart does not grieve for
But when the truth comes out,
it will always hurt more
Blinded by love, I failed to see
how much of an ******* you were to me
Perhaps too young, too crazy, & free,
but I'll never understand why you did that to me
They say if you love somebody,
then you should set them free
As you never came back,
I think it was meant to be
I am not bitter or angry anymore,
in fact my life has been better
since you walked out the door
I thank you for the gift in which you gave to me
A very special treasure, it truly is a pleasure
I gave you a chance,
in fact I gave you so many
But you couldn't be bothered
to even spend a penny
The door was still open, but nobody came
I should have known it would still be the same
It is not my place to play God with life,
but if you don't make the effort,
you're not worth the strife
Perhaps one day you might make the call,
to make the wrongs right, & not start a fight
I hope by then it's not too late,
but I suppose I can't change fate
I would like to think we are at peace with each other
At one point in time, you were my finest lover
Some people just aren't meant to be together,
but that doesn't mean you are lonely forever
Somewhere there is someone who dreams of your smile
& finds in your presence that life is worthwhile
So when you are lonely, remember it's true,
somebody somewhere is thinking of you

*& that someone is not me
1.1k · Jul 2013
Kira
Emily Rene Jul 2013
I have a boyfriend, you should know,
even though no one knows.
I only have this boyfriend for a day,
our dates consist of FatDaySunday.
I buy her an ice cream from BurgerKing,
not McDonalds, that tastes like DING.
I'm sorry for my words of profanity,
But I'm known to drive with insanity.
Oh, no, my ice cream is out the door,
I must turn around & get some more.
Time to start thriftshopping because we're el' cheapo,
yell out the window, maybe something like "BURRITO!"
FatDaySunday always has to come to an end,
I can't wait to see my boyfriend again.
1.1k · Nov 2014
Nineteen . Outlaws .
Emily Rene Nov 2014
I took you at your word,
when you said you would
steal my heart
This might sound absurd,
but would be my thief
take all of me, every part

Love, love, love is my crime
So baby, come catch me
& let's do the time

I think we might be outlaws,
I think I might be in love
Cause I'm all out of reasons,
like seasons, winter, summer, fall,
they're all washed up
& you're still way over there,
maybe slide on in by my side
cause I'm just an outlaw
wanted if you want me

I love you every day & every night

Lock me up for good
Right here in your arms
You vandalize my neighborhood
with your piercing eyes
& devilish charm

Love, love, love is my crime
So baby, come catch me
& let's do the time

I think we might be outlaws,
I think I might be in love
cause I'm all out of reasons,
like seasons, winter, summer, fall,
they're all washed up
& you're still way over there
maybe slide on in by my side
cause I'm just an outlaw
wanted if you want me

Love, love, love is my crime
So baby, come catch me
& let's do the time

I love you every day & every night
David Lambert
1.0k · Oct 2016
Sixty Four . Remember That
Emily Rene Oct 2016
I will always love you,
remember that
You can push me away,
but I'll always come back
You can deny your desire,
& say it can't be,
but I won't let the walls
come between you & me
You're afraid of your dark side,
the harm you could cause,
I have never feared your hands,
or their sharp pointy claws
I love them, I love you,
I love all that you are
Protest all you like,
but you will not get far
You can never change my mind,
my heart will stay true
I'll do everything I can
to get closer to you
I will wait for you forever,
so get used to that fact
I will always love you,
remember that...
922 · Jul 2013
Step by Step
Emily Rene Jul 2013
The first step is towards the door,
Then two steps back this way.
You say you don't feel it anymore,
And you've decided not to stay.

This dance we do has many moves
To master so we are told,
But constantly staying in the grooves
Is getting tired and old.

You dip to dodge reality.
I bend and touch the floor
To pick up my mentality
After it is shaken to its core.

Our dance brings out emotion,
And the fires in our hearts swell.
Our dance requires devotion
And lacks it just as well.
905 · Sep 2013
(314) by Emily Dickinson
Emily Rene Sep 2013
“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -
And sore must be the storm -
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -
And on the strangest Sea -
Yet - never - in Extremity,
It asked a crumb - of me.
This is one of my favorite poems , & it has helped me through a lot of things in my life.
I thought that maybe , just maybe , it could help one of you too...
901 · Dec 2014
Thirty . OCD
Emily Rene Dec 2014
I don't touch doorknobs
with my hands because
it freaks me out
beyond absolutely
no belief
So many germs
& strangers have
touched them with
whatever you might
think of
& if I have no choice
but to open the door,
I wash my hands
three times,
six times if it's a
Friday
But when I went to
your house,
I let myself in
without
washing
my
*hands
881 · Aug 2015
Sixty . Fuck
Emily Rene Aug 2015
I'm done writing poems about you

Who am I kidding?
747 · Oct 2013
Two . Reality
Emily Rene Oct 2013
I thought my parents
were like a fairytale
Turns out not everything
is like disney & pretend
Reality is a thin line
compared to the
imagination of pixar
films & Cinderella
Nothing is real
Nothing is animated
Nothing is all smiles
Everything is a lie
& we're all puppets
on a thin string
We're all players
in a game known as
reality
712 · May 2015
Fifty Four . Stab Me
Emily Rene May 2015
I've been staring at this
****
blinking
cursor
for about forty-five minutes
& still have absolutely nothing
to write about
Maybe I'll write
about him or the
way he makes me
feel inside my
awkward stomach,
or maybe I'll go
a different route
& write about
the way it
feels in my
chest to
think
about
him
.


Like a dagger to my heart
First attempt at making a picture
641 · Jun 2016
Sixty Three . I Miss You
Emily Rene Jun 2016
The feeling of missing you
makes my head spin &
at times I feel queasy
because I used to be able
to write about my pain
& how I'm feeling on paper
or in a poem on this site
so easily as if it were writing
my name on the top of an
all nighter essay that was
due first thing the next morning,
but because of how much I miss you,

I've forgotten how to spell it
627 · Jul 2013
Your Angel
Emily Rene Jul 2013
You don't look out the window,
don't see time going by.
Never know how many hours pass,
while you just lay alone & cry.

Breathing heavily, you whisper,
through a river of cold tears,
"I'm a ******* failure,"
silently, no one hears.

Your heart beats an unsteady rhythm,
pounding in your chest.
With your head in your hands,
there's no time to second guess.

You look at yourself in the mirror,
& blink away the tears that fill your eyes.
You bite your lip & look away,
at the same time, a part of you dies.

You notice a strange emptiness,
one that you've never felt before.
You clench your fist as you realize,
you feel your life is just a chore.

You click your knuckles,
& wipe your eyes.
You're tired of living,
you're tired of lies.

& with a shattered mirror,
& a bleeding fist,
you hold that blade
against your wrist.

As you push it into your flesh,
you ask yourself why.
"Why am I hurting myself?
Why should I die?"


But there's no time for questions,
you find yourself screaming.
The guilt is in your blood,
you wished you were dreaming.

The sound of your blood,
as it drips to the floor.
You're slowly going insane,
sickened by the gore.

But still, you cut deeper,
showing no emotion.
For your killer habit,
you have so much devotion.

You stop yourself for a second,
knowing that you've done enough.
You're bleed out of the anger,
& the life you find so tough.

You reach for your thread,
& stitch up your wrist.
& see that the windows
are shrouded with mist.

You've finally had enough,
you pick up your blade.
You step outside & leave behind
that tortured past you've made.

You run down to the river,
& stare into the freezing stream.
Into it, you throw the blade,
hoping this isn't a dream.

You drop to your knees,
& with your head to the floor,
this is the end of it all,
you've walked out the door.

You stare into the water,
& see a figure approach behind.
You hand quickly covers your wrist,
as thoughts race through your mind.

You turn around to gaze into the eyes of beauty.
The figure, he hold you in his blood stained arm.
You feel so comfortable with the stranger,
you feel so taken by his charm.

He too throws his blade into the river.
"Have you had enough of it too?"
You nod & close your eyes,
wondering if this is really true.

He holds your hand,
& kisses your cheek.
You breathe in deeply,
his touch makes you weak.

You shake your head,
& you're back in your room.
Your wrists have stopped bleeding,
& you hope to dream again soon.

With tears in your eyes,
you wished that you were able,
to go back into those dreams,
to again, *see your angel...
623 · Jul 2013
Port a Potty
Emily Rene Jul 2013
I took a walk around the neighborhood today,
just to try to pass the time away.
I saw lots of people walking too,
I stepped right in a pile of doggy doo.
I thought for a moment just what could be done,
to clean up the streets of doggie dung.
Maybe I'll invent something really super,
even finer than a pooper scooper.
A port a ***** for out four legged friends,
on every street corner where every road bends.
Then I'll become famous for this awesome invention,
at the monthly town meetings, my name will be mentioned.
They'll throw a big party and dance in the streets,
because never again will there be **** on our feet.
621 · Jun 2015
Fifty Nine . Anxiety
Emily Rene Jun 2015
I cannot stand to be
continuously touched
It makes me anxious
& sick to my stomach
He was the one who
understood my struggle
He accepted it &
respected my boundaries

Why couldn't you?

I'm not asking much
when I'd rather sleep alone
It is not because I'm
not interested, but because
it makes me physically ill
You're touch is comforting,
don't get me wrong,
but cuddling gives me anxiety

When we're in public
& you kiss me,
I want to get in a ball
& roll away from the scene
He understood this
& would hold my hand
He accepted that PDA
made me uncomfortable

Why couldn't you?

When you kiss me in front
of all of our friends
& sometimes strangers,
I get nervous & shakey
It's not their business
& they don't need to see
cause PDA gives me anxiety

When I see a door ****,
I refuse to touch it
I will use any excuse to
have someone open the door
or open it myself with no contact
He understood this &
would never let a door close
He accepted it & carried
around GermX at all times

Why couldn't you?

I'm not asking much of you
to open a door for me
You are not my slave,
it's just called kindness,
cause germs give me anxiety

I lose people I love
because of my anxiety
I try to make up for it
in little things I do,
but usually it's not enough
But if I'm uncomfortable
& seriously unhappy,
what's the loss?
I'll find another him
that accepts me for me

You just couldn't
607 · Mar 2015
Forty Five . Please
Emily Rene Mar 2015
Do not love me yet, for I
     am still a teenager
          A scimitar about the heart,
                too sharp to touch too soon
                      Before I'm touched, I need to grow
                more full in golden light;
          I need to smile upon my life
     & rule some path of the night
          I need to know what roads & fields
                lie in my domain
                      & dull my brand new ecstasies
                              with sophomoric pain
                                     I need the love of some clueless boy
                              as smart & wicked as me,
                      that we might ***** in ignorance
                             & fear of what might be
                                    & then when I'm all grown up,
                                           & know what I can hold,
                                     Then, perhaps, we could try love,
                               if you're not too old
Emily Rene Dec 2014
There was a time
I thought that you did
everything right
No lies, no wrong
Boy, I must've been
out of my mind
When I think of the
time that I almost
loved you,
you showed your ***
& I saw the real you
Thank God you blew it,
I thank God I dodged
the bullet
I'm so over you,
so baby, good looking out

So sad, you're hurt
Boo hoo, did you
expect me to care
You don't deserve
my tears
I guess that's why
they ain't there
When I think that
there was a time that
I almost loved you
You showed your ***
& baby, yes, I saw
the real you
Thank God you blew it
I thank God I dodged
the bullet
I'm so over you,
baby, good looking out

I know you
want me back,
it's time to
face the facts
That I'm the one
that's got away
Lord knows that
it would take
another place,
another time,
another world,
another life
Thank God I found
the good in goodbye

I used to want you so bad
I'm so through with that
Cause honestly you
turned out to be the
best thing I never had
You turned out to be the
best thing I never had
& I will always be the
best thing you ever had

It ***** to be you right now
Beyonce Knowles
Emily Rene Mar 2015
You're the direction
I follow to get home
When I feel like I can't go on,
you tell me to go
& it's like I can't feel a thing
without you around
& don't mind me if I
get weak in the knees
'cause you have that
effect on me, you do

Everything you say,
everything time we kiss,
I can't think straight,
but I'm okay
& I can't think anybody else
who I hate to miss as much
as I hate missing you

Months going strong now,
& no goodbye
Unconditional, unoriginal,
always by my side
Meant to be together,
meant for no one but each other
You love me,
I love you harder so

So please, give me your hands
So please, give me a lesson
on how to steal, steal my heart
as fast as you stole mine, as you stole mine

Oh, & everything you say,
every time we kiss,
I can't think straight,
but I'm okay
& I can't think of anybody else
who I hate to miss as much
as I hate missing you

So please, give me your hands
So please, just take my hand
Hey Monday
Emily Rene Oct 2013
The first time I actually met you,
your name was all I knew.
But as we got to know each other,
daydreaming was all I could ever do.

You were taken by another girl,
& as was I with another man.
But not so deep down within me,
I'd rather have been holding your hand.

Thinking about us taking long walks,
or holding hands as we could talk.
All these thoughts were such a bliss,
when all I wanted was a simple kiss.

Thinking about you holding me tight,
wondering & hoping you just might.
Those bright blue eyes staring down at me,
finally thinking that it was meant to be.
540 · May 2015
Fifty Three . Falling
Emily Rene May 2015
Maybe I'm broken
past any repair
Don't bother stopping,
cause nobody's there
I'm falling to the ground,
scared to look down
I'm not afraid of heights,
I'm afraid I might drown
Original song in the making.
534 · Feb 2015
Forty . What If
Emily Rene Feb 2015
What if I went out every night
& kept my phone on silent
so that every time you called
it would keep ringing & ringing
until my annoying voicemail
flooded your ears over & over
about three dozen times or more

Call again

What if I said I had too much going on
& that my grandparents or father
needed my assistance for something
far more important than wasting
any of my time on you or your family
even though plans were nonexistent

Try again

What if I was late to school almost
two times a week because I knew
I could get away with sneaking to
her house while you woke your
mom up so that she could take you
to school because I was "oversleeping"

Late again

What if I held your hand everyday
down the hallways of this hell hole
& kissed you goodbye before each
& every bell, but found my seat
next to her in the back of the room
where no one would suspect a thing

Goodbye again

What if you started to notice that
I was slowly starting to fade away
& thought I was talking with her
& I yelled at you for accusing me
& thinking I was untrustworthy
& maybe I forgot the real truth myself

Yell again

What if I got caught in her bed
one early morning by her father
& he called & told my mother
& she threatened to kick me out
if I didn't tell you so I lied again
& promised that I had told you,
but I wasn't telling you anything

Lie again

What if someone else told you
& I ran out of lies to tell you,
but I still continued with my streak
& tried lying my way out of losing you,
but you were done with my *******

Done again

What if she wasn't my only lover on the side
What if I had lost count of all of them
What if I promised to change
What if

*You can't
508 · Nov 2014
Eleven . Drug Addict
Emily Rene Nov 2014
He was ******
in my veins &
I just couldn't
get enough of him.
I was completely
stuck in his trance
from the first moment
he laid eyes on me.

I was his property
& he knew it.

He took advantage,
& I let him because
what is a drug addict
without its drug?

*Nothing.
Emily Rene Nov 2014
It begins as a noise in the background,
keeping a steady beat as it makes its round
It can be found at any time of day,
it's so simple, just push play

It creates a story for everyone's life
as if it understands your struggles & strife
It's impossible to stop, it's purpose will be served
as if not to judge on whether or not you deserve

Of complete reality & worry filled days,
when life gets too real, there's something that says
I'll be with you through the happy & sad,
the really great days and even the bad

It lingers as if ready at any possible time
to life you off your feet & begin to fly
away from all the grief, sorrow, & pain
to tell your mind that it's free again

No judging or casting a nasty glare
Just to let you know that it's always there
as the shoulder to cry on when no one else care
& casts you alone to face all your scares

It will give you a feeling that no one else can
& open your eyes to the ever growing span
of opportunity & dare & even the strength
to end it all or just shoot blanks

It tends to all of our daily needs
not for us, but with us so we really can see
the magic of you when in a crowd,
nothing else will sound as loud

As the beats, bells, & whistles that are in your head,
revealing to you a new path to tread
For you will follow no one your path will be your own
because you are lead by something that can't be owned

To be there for whenever you desire
is its one purpose, to light your fire
It can't be stopped if the will is steady
It can be unleashed, it's always ready

To light up your day or slow down the time,
to yell at the world, or even to cry
To help you with whatever you may need
or just to be there for whenever you please

It will live until the end of time,
serving its purpose, to let its light shine
Remember family, friends, & even pets,
but most of all music, never forget
493 · Feb 2015
Forty Three . (20w)
Emily Rene Feb 2015
I am absolutely terrified
because I know this feeling
inside me is exactly what
I didn't want to experience
*Love
486 · Oct 2017
Sixty Eight . Beverly
Emily Rene Oct 2017
She has a pretty smile,
That goes on for a while
Her teeth are really white,
Some might say what a sight
She is always quick to hug & kiss,
When she's away, I really miss
When I am hurt, she cares so much
She always has that special touch
She quit her job when I was a baby,
So she could play & watch me daily
Brownies, cookies, candy, & cakes,
My Nana really loves to bake
For her job, homes she cleans,
Her clients love her so much they scream!
There really is no test,
My Nana is the very best
I found an old poem I wrote in the second grade & couldn't help but light up at the younger days.
Emily Rene May 2015
Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight,
I know she's there &
you're probably hanging out & making eyes,
while across the room she stares
I'll bet she gets the nerve to walk the floor,
& ask my man to dance & he'll say yes
Because these words were never easier
for me to say or him to second guess
But I guess
that I can live without you but
without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all that I hoped to find
in every single way
& everything I would give
is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home,
you're a thousand miles away
& the hardest part of living
is just taking breaths to stay
Cause I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet, but I need it

& this'll be the first time in a week
that I'll talk to you & I can't speak
It's been three whole days since I've had sleep
Cause I dream of her lips on your cheek
& I got the point that I should leave you alone,
but we both know that I'm not that strong
& I miss the lips that made me fly

But I guess
that I can live without you but
without you I'll be miserable at best
Mayday Parade
474 · Oct 2013
Three . Drugs
Emily Rene Oct 2013
You are my drug
Your smile is so
inviting & full
of mystery
Your eyes leave
me hallucinating
away from all
the darkness
within me
You hands are
the warmth
that keeps me
from the
coldness I was
left with before
Your lips are
nicotine that
leaves me with
the craving of
always wanting
more & more
You are my drug
Emily Rene Jan 2015
Speaking of perfect, let me tell you about my best friend
Even when she wakes up, she's radiant like the sun
Rarely knows what is best for her because
Really all she cares about is everyone else
A great trait in a person, but very tricky to overcome

Kindness is what is very important to her,
Always say "excuse me" and "please"
I love her like a sister & wish that she were
To be honest, I couldn't ask for a better one
Ladies be jealous of our awesome friendship
You probably heard about her in a story or two
Not a big deal, she's probably in every story of mine

Don't leave her side, I won't until my dying day
Even when we're old & wrinkly, she's my best friend
Quick to her feet when you need a hand or talk
Usually ready to lend a hand & never judge
Intelligent in basically every aspect of life
No one I'd rather turn to when in doubt
Zoo's probably aren't the best birthday present,
I promise that she'll have a better birthday with me
Oh, how I can't wait for more memories with Serra
This is a poem to my best friend. <3
418 · Jul 2013
You Can't Change Me
Emily Rene Jul 2013
They say that we choose the lifestyle we enjoy.
They say that I am sick, or that it's just a phase,
but my love for him & her is eternal,
something I shall forever crave.
They tell me who it's wrong to love.
They say it isn't right,
that I come home from her place each day,
& then kiss him throughout the night.
They say that it is God's decree.
They say that our love is wrong,
But love is something you cannot change,
so please just let us be.
Besides, you can't change me.
414 · Jul 2013
In Hiding
Emily Rene Jul 2013
Can no one see this smile I'm faking,
See how, inside, I'm constantly shaking?
There people all claim they know me so well,
Yet no one can see through my crumbling shell?

"I'm fine," I whisper, my sadness unknown,
They leave me to deal with this anguish alone.
I've hidden behind this wall most of my life,
I've managed so far, I've dealt with my strife.

Watching as, slowly, my blood leaks away,
It helps to keep life's true horrors at bay.
I pull down my sleeve to cover my hurt,
For approaching footsteps, I'm on the alert.

I guess my pretense is just all too real,
No one has to know of the pain that I feel.
The real me inside, where no one can see,
I can fool everyone else, why can't I fool me?
Emily Rene Feb 2015
You broke my heart in two
& took me like a bet
with all you put me through,
I have so many regrets
To lose you was worth it,
although I wasn't sure
It seemed to make me happy,
but still so insecure
We always said forever,
we would take it to the end,
never give it up,
but this time my heart couldn't mend
It cut so deep into me,
I guess it hurt you too,
but when you did it, then you lied
I had to say "we're through"
I gave you all I had,
I tried to make it last,
but now all we have
are memories from the past
You broke my heart in two
And took me like a bet,
with all you put me through
I have so many regrets.
So look me in the eye
& tell me what you see,
a girl so broke inside,
who's been through misery
& now I'm moving on
with the pain that kills inside,
but I'm starting to forget
by reminding myself how you lied
I have somebody new,
someone to treat me right,
to talk to lovingly
& to hold me all night
He's there for me when I need him,
to give me love & support,
to hold me close & wipe away
all my signs of hurt
To kiss me softly every night
& let me know he's there
To call me just because,
just to tell me that he cares
380 · Nov 2013
Four . Don't Explain
Emily Rene Nov 2013
L
Le
Let
Let M
Let Me
Let Me E
Let Me Ex
Let Me Exp
Let Me Expl
Let Me Expla
Let Me Explai
Let Me Explain
Let Me Explai
Let Me Expla
Let Me Expl
Let Me Exp
Let Me Ex
Let Me E
Let Me
Let M
Let
Le
L
no
Y
Yo
You
You C
You Ca
You Can'
You Can't
You Can't E
You Can't Ex
You Can't Exp
You Can't Expl
You Can't Expla
You Can't Explai
You Can't Explain
You Can't Explai
You Can't Expla
You Can't Expl
You Can't Exp
You Can't Ex
You Can't E
You Can't
You Can'
You Ca
You C
You
Yo
Y
*I don't want
an explanation
Emily Rene Dec 2014
The lighter's a trigger,
I load my gun
& swallow the bullets
straight into my lungs

With every drag
& hit I take,
my thoughtless mind
will come awake

No more mother's coming
or more of daddy crying
Just coughing & heaving
& careless flying

I guess it's living,
I guess I'm dying,
& if I'm not,
I'm surely trying
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