It burdens my heart
that you must contrast your smile
with the lux of stars

Whats it be to be handsome?
To have the attention of girls
and then some?
How do I measure self efficacy
when getting a smile
is still a victory?
Should I spend my money
on personal things
or have my wardrobe
bursting at the seams?
Whats the difference between
a lustful stare
and a rejectful laser beam?
Every girl can be hard to get
on welfare
"But there's still someone
for you out there"
Who can see beyond
the mirage at sea
to the core of personality.

Sunrise
Rays break through
dewdrops cease to fall over fields

Morning
Breakfast with fiends
barricaded in a fortress

High noon
Creatures spill out
blocking out abstract skies

Twilight
Fight for your life
Don't let the clothes weigh you down

Nightfall
Bleed out while you can
There's nowhere to hide in the darkness

There, somewhere, is a place so familiar, that you've forgotten
and you didn't even know.
In this place is a building, decrepit, with walls well worn,
built with the least experienced of hands.
These hands, now gone, showed a tenderness in their craftsmanship,
a love now forlorn as the walls
Walls held up with the determination of creeping moss
that spreads through the corners of the halls.
Halls so sprawling as to confuse those who dare to come in
and seek the treasures within
These treasures hidden, repressed and no longer precious,
a sentinel to those left behind.
And these treasures you found within these halls
bound by these godforsaken walls
built by those who know, knew, and would never have
Reside in a building beyond all paths
That calls to you and all that you believe
To compel you in, so you'll never leave.

A figure in the distance
lives on a monetary hill
by siphoning off pensions.
An absence of motive
for this hellish apparition.
Grandiose a la mode,
Slaves to inattention.
   Pace yourself
   Take your drugs
   Sign for help
   Relinquish us
Pampering lifestyles
of dying and self-destructing ones
spiraling into the light
disintegrating amongst the dance of suns.
Because eyes are always watching
taking notes on what you've become.

Quell the somber hunger of the streets
Redundant mornings as time repeats
Agonizing parallel days
Dull marching masses quick to obey
A crooked court with no figure head
Pulling profits to line stomachs instead
Of smiting evil where it lays
While we focus on not wasting away
At event horizons of a creeping void
And remember life can be enjoyed.

Chum floats the pool
encircled by sharks and piranha
a pity, nature's fool
as fearful teeth do their work.
Could they be as bad as I?
Apex predator, Invasive species
where it means to die
as a means to live.
Growth from a spineless cherub
to a spiteful formless entity
possessing a cunning golden scarab
controlling wheels of fortune.
Slaves to our own demands
aren't we antagonists to someone else?
With machinations of wicked plans
to justify righteous intentions.
Hypocrites line the tank
tapping their fingers in rumination
Abandoning morals, faces left blank.

I am not your foil, I am a mirror.

With those
she'll give new meaning
to "heads will roll."

When I arrive would you take care of me?
We empty emotions on the count of three.
Visions of black and white, do you bleed?

The hotness of this earth,
holes in the body, do you still hurt?
A mutual destruction on my part;
rewind time for the birth

You were sent to watch over me,
an empty shell of a man with destiny.
When we get there what will we see?
"Villains of circumstance we will be,
Can you handle it?"

Little monster, are you learning?
The art of squirming.

Guardians of light and sound,
save me now or we're all going down.
Sinners, not winners, are in the round
Place me in your arms and protect me now.
Hold me like no one is around.

Use a little compassion
Show some humanity
Basted in boredom
In touch with insanity
How many flies will have to die
before her thirst is sated?
How many eyes will have to pry
to show what you've wasted?
Worming through the night
scheming, hell bent
forestalling my demise
with evil intent.
She'll tend the garden
Like a perfect person
But her heart is hardened
as she mixes the poison.
Beware the water
Beware the daughters
Beware the good Samaritan.

To my own caution
I will never give into mania again
Still recovering from the last high rise
wracked with pain from the bends
Now I'm all alone
keeping zen in my rock garden
Rearranging thoughts
not knowing how long its been
It caught me by surprise
with no room to vent
choking on I Love You
breaking down from the event
'cause the futures fast approaching
with no idea whats been set
in this moment, at my core
while my garden can't grow anything in it.

I remember when
we used to straddle the fence
wandering labyrinths
of gated neighborhoods
we didn't live in.
'Cause way back then
the world seemed so big
dancing on the sky
when we used to get so high.
Committing petty sins
with a Cheshire grin
where the weekend was life
and we never planned to die.

While you sleep
I see you smile
I hope you're dreaming of me.

On fitful nights
I'll stroke your cheek
to soothe your breathing.

Oh, you might
wake up in a fright
wide eyed with spite

That's why I
have bound you limbs
so that you cant fight.

Don't you worry about my wife.
You'll meet her soon
at the tip of this knife.

The air thickens
with the perfume of horror
clinging to life.

Finally my sweet
we'll be together
Like I always dreamed.

Meaningless is the introspection
of a solitary lover
with a succubus to impress
just to fail like all the rest.
Greedy are the handouts
of a body borne charity
satiation of the poor
without knowledge of her lore.
Osmosis to attention
she commands the lustful gaze
radiating an appetite unrivaled
a raging libido with no title.

Hang in there,
My little bacon back baby
sweating from head to toe.
Those little piggies
are squirming in their straps
spilling their veins across the tarp.
Become the smoke
let you being take it in.
Swinging back and forth, intently
in a room lit so dim
willing yourself awake
briefly, paralyzed by the grin.
"We're having steak tonight boys
along with hawks and ribs.
The main course
tonight
is a helping of long pig."

A failure to measure in self efficacy
the lion drags its mane
to sweep the floor so hopelessly
in an effort to hide its shame.
The quagmire consumes the wicked
but devours the righteous all the same
down in a hollow, sick, twisted
giving in to the weight of pain.
The gravity of this grief
plants us firmly in the grip of apathy
pray the despair be brief
delirious, at the hands of atrophy.
At the bottom of the well
is a gate unto immutable madness
endure this path through hell
and emerge from the infinite sadness.

Alone in what was won
Resist the call of a stepfather to son:
to my kingdom, come.

It deceives the skin
like rain drops crawling
up the windshield.
False flags begin
to handshake the wind.
Low pressure boils the blood
of stymied nerves
moving in parabolic curves.
Follow the lines
of concentric circles
and drive with body and mind
intertwined.
Tune out the fear
so it cant hear you here
float on with the ripples.

You could know
I jam perpetual engines
when its practical

You shouldn't know
how dreaded the immaterial
at the edge of perception is

You should know
I eat dreams whole
mixed with the tears of children

That observation cant bond
or fix you in this reality
I would know

A hand springs forth
from the dredges of the pit.
A hand failing to knowledge its worth
with a will to deny it.
The blinding light of things to come
bright in its possibility
Chemical baths render sludge undone
clearing the way for eyes to see.
The weight of the land has tipped the scales
orbiting in its gravity
Quickening the mind that hails
and objects the dark's depravity.
Realize the void is important
yet small in its relevance
A calmness to lay dormant
for freedom is the recompense.  
The stranglehold on the soul
will be released only when
you forgive yourself
for not being able to fill the hole.

Justice* for the meek
   won't come soon
Under skies aligned
   with sinful moons
Neglectful statues
   posing as mothers
Executives commission
   the blood red summer

Venture across the divide
earmarked by three lines

It starts with a pin pick of blood
Stomach tightens and
You don't feel so good

The body begins to ache
Lungs start to hyperventilate
Though you try to manually regulate

The heart pounds and races
You clench your hands
Finding cuts in different places

Overwhelming pain sets in
Setting fire to the nerves
To repent for your sins

The limbs are lame and heavy
Broken pulls and levels
Effort makes you hot and sweaty

While life slips away
The mind will mistake
The remaining minutes for days.

We
were kings
in the realm
of distorted things
Indulging in unmitigated lust that it brings.

She
was queen
A pillar
of strength incarnate
busy pillaging the futures of lesser beings.

The moments I lied
the dreams
the spies
tongues untied
The kingdom crumbled.

Walls I built
Accounts
the cries
threats of love
and roots upended.

Spirals speak before they're worded.
Now the future is in the rear-view.

Now I'm lost.
Host to the language that plagues the brain.
The pretentious words that print the page.
All are symbols understood in vain.
Watched as they dance for you,
in your peripherals just outside of view.
Fingertips poised in the witchcraft
of culling those to your gift of gab.
Oh how I try so hard to let them in
unable to realize where to begin.
I want to melt away to the sway hieroglyphs,
but burn to the beat of monoliths.
This ephemeral sense of longing
betrays a persistent ethos of belonging.
Buying a stunted sense of forever at cost
had no worth because I'm lost.

Digital in the darkness
I can only think of you
Despite the power I harness
Its something I can't compute.
Your eyes are glowing
when they come into view
making the bits start flowing
into my CPU.
You changed my process
by being so bold;
emotional excess
changed my programming code.
So I guess this is what its like
to love someone,
But I cannot go into the light
It cant be done.
I wish I could lose myself in you
the way you seem to
But the logic sets in
before we're through.
What I'd give
for just one touch
yet I'm not real
and it hurts so much.

Is today the day
you'd put that mask away?
Everyday out
is an evening at the masquerade.
Give your persona a rest
let the anima come out to play.
Then come over here
say all those things you want to say.
Will you take the load off your chest
so that you can stay,
or strap the mask back on
and slowly fade away?

A flower blossoms in the desert
on a cactus where there's no one to see it.
The beauty mark upon the oasis.
Candlelight in the darkness, lit
outstretched hands hold reminders
puzzle pieces with no remainders;
a ghost alone without pension.
Obelisks withstand the seasons
of a troubled, turbulent heart
resistant to the call of reason
as gravitation pulls us apart.
The talisman will guard the flower
from its persistent self-destruction.
Even though it has no power,
Its psychosomatic, deep within.

Its ok if it rains
i really wasn't planning
to go outside anyways

despite the stagnant darkness
there's dim light
to be harnessed

this person that I'm mourning
has no express desire
for me to join them

so i wont go out of my way
ill go on until
i get the chance again
to say what i need to say

by then we'll have all the time in the world
but don't mind me if my eyes
are as dry as it is outside

Some budding minds of larvae
become slaves to indoctrination
holding ransom to their morals
with mundane anticipation.
Ants and Bees take to the streets
dragging dignity through the trip
while sharks above hound them
discipline at the crack of a whip.
The struggle of paying to work
catches the children by surprise
though the nature of nepotism
gives others meteoric rise.
Ragged, they stay warm
through the fires of finance killing
so that the glutenous worms
can feed off the standard of living.
And those who live in glass mansions
have their view clouded by rain
as they look down at the masses
with contempt and disdain.

Back then you were
more alive than dead
Opened up your mind
and took the magic to your head
The dissipating career
plummeting as you give into fear.
And somewhere close by
a comet lights up the night sky
Ice bursting into flames before our eyes.

You
you are a contradiction of all things
an immense tropical storm majestically consuming all islands in your path
yet with all your strength, you sputter upon the main land
A destructive flame, preaching your ways to the forest
leaving behind naught but fertilization.
A maneuver that may breath life into you, saving your soul
and destroy your body
The object that defies gravity, spurning numbers and probability
in the most graceful fashion
Everything that was once oblivion, is now a beholder of all things
You are a contradiction, a collection of nothings and theories
A physic with the will to be or not
science to believe or a magic to perceive
Take pride in its discomfort,
it is the minds final reprieve.

I'd forgotten what its like
to feel so cold, dark, and formless
Halting my inertia
overwhelming so completely
Hurling through the cosmos
A martyr of my own design
Black hearts decaying into ashes
becoming thralls to the march of time
I know its in there beating
Threatening to spring from my chest
Better to bottle up the pain now
and store it with all the rest?

The melancholy of the wasteland
satiated: pinned down by bliss.
Hanging lamps with unnerving smiles
flickering with murderous intent.
Gas lines are primed and poised
for one hell of a barbeque.
Altruism amounts to nothing
when vultures are involved, adorned in gold.
All seeing death machines
do figure eights across the sky
Spewing heat from the mouth
moves the shadows amongst the darkness.
A rogue wave capsizes sycophants
the weak are run aground
mad, grinning like a facsimile
amongst the remains of a heart
that's imploded.  
Even bloated whales consume for greed
picking dignity from their teeth.
Deny them the glory of being written
if you can pry your eyes
from the T.V. screen.

With your will, refuse to speak
I'll make use of twisted alchemy
Drawing chaos under the sun
Now my love, you are my gun.
I'm always saving you
from the interests being twirled
into an wicked engraving.
There is no desire for rules or fame
Emotions are only for taming.
Chimeras never dream,
but its not as bad as it seems.
How could I do those things?
We are different beings.
I'm a Leviathan, but i cant do everything
I don't have a remote control for your wings.
And baby please, don't get hopeless
You'll make all that hard work and money useless.

Aye, yes, we've been here before.  
I see you remember me.
How long are you going to be here, existing on the precipice of
planing insurrections to gain the keys
to your resurrection?
A helpless and hopeless
festering yet motionless
Wretched shell that once graced an entire hall,
now sitting alone at this hole in the wall.
I'm here for you friend,
A fraction to whom you cant pretend.
we'll polish that fifth till a quarter to four
and lay our lives out on this cobblestone floor.
We are as cracks, grooved and carved by the storm,
that she wrought true to form.
Whats that?
Was there more of me than of you that drove her away?
They posit that I guided her here with guile and wit
unaware, ensnared, you are adrift with it.
Candied smiles, a laugh, a nibble, a flight.
Stifled dread, her whimpers, the scars, the fights.
The fitful sleep of lonely nights.
And it is as it was and only because
it reached the end of this frostbitten extremity.
Or did you want the affliction to last for eternity?
What a waste of endorphins better spent two timing with dopamine
to drown out what there was to prevent the abyss that will be.
Of course you wont listen to me.
The discourse of your double dealings
The despair that left you reeling.
The swinging rope adorning the gallows.
Gesticulation among the shadows.
A furnace to burn your feelings and cauterize
the wounds you inflicted upon your eyes.
I'm no more sinister than you are selfless,
a desire at various states of undress.
We are gland in gland through the steps of this misadventure
to a tune that bears no to time signature.
I'll envelop you in my various appendages
to drive home the clincher:
Though you may push me away for a while,
you will know who I really am in the dark,
by my smile.

If I could
Paint a picture of the darkness in my heart
Could you see it?
A lonely crevasse that strikes
Like lightning where my heart should be?
If I was
A loathsome beggar pleading for mercy
In the city streets
On my hands and knees
Would you give it to me?

There's no medication that can
Dial down this much pain
Calling out to the void
Straining my ears in vain.
Take the liquor down
And hope the skin soon grows thicker.
My heart and soul can't coexist
They just bicker and bicker.
Try quitting smoking but
Something will always nake me drag again
The ship is sinking
And I'm just playing the mandolin.
If it's supposed to get better, then when?
I can't  hear my voice
Over the screaming of all my sins.

A jester for moths;
watch the parlor trick
of collecting dust.
The quiet continuum
entertains the thought
of your wasted time.
Split between the nexus
between worlds
A home to a congregation
of Other minds.
Disintegration leads
to a disinterest
of the summation of damnation.
So the penultimate state
of objective solitude
is infected with a judging gaze.

With an ear for
sympathetic voices
To gather hands
Who'll hold you up
Claiming ambitions
Outside your birthright
A charming devil
And a magnetic smile
Outlast betrayers
Of your cause
The stairs ascending
Seem never ending
But the price is worth it
Despite the bodies you pile up
Though the empire of borrowed time
Built upon them
Still resides at the base
Of a volatile volcano

Are you tall enough to be on this ride?
Things are irrelevant, the truth divides.
The devils are calling you inside.
Monsters fear the time that bides...

We are experiencing mental difficulties
There may be side effects

White on rice, **** me twice
Closer pup, Please shut up
Drill pancakes, Burn at stakes
Minute hands, Purple sands
Rubber glue, They hate you
Evil zoo, Play the fool
Eighteen pence, Heightened sense
Smoke the greens, Will I dream?
Kaleidoscopes will burn out your eyes.

Rising stones
caught me adrift
amongst the flow
of the wild, wild river.
Like opening my eyes
for the first time
I slowly lower the barriers
to the outside.
Long have I been confined
A hermit in self imposed exile
Surrounded by the waltz of delusions
desperately trying to fill the void
A black hole to real emotion,
using connection as tender.
Reassuming my identity
making use of this clarity
I'll no longer suffer
the fear of release.
Once again free
embracing the unknown.

Deserted recesses of the mind
Weary of the world in kind
A vehicle for morbid things
Yearning for the light it brings
Naked before the will of man
Evading fate and all her plans

Hollow, naked, brave and empty
endeavor to fill your soul
with ingredients to sate
of promises to fulfill.
Monoliths to the sinner
bearing teeth with xenophobic glee.
Hunters track through the thunder
as lightning reanimates the dead
Hungry lobbying vultures
"bring back the good long gone"
while removing your heart
and preserving it as art.

Addicted to this life
and all of its decadence
There's a table in the back
for otherworldly spies
where they drown you in powder
leave you choking on agents
that will destroy your mind
so they can apply thumbprints to retinas
leaving you in dispose
denying every lie you've ever told.
The truth will find an outlet in your demise
What you thought was real
What you thought you could feel
A confusion of senses
distilled through holy water
Blinded by strobe lights
and immobilized by birth rights
You may leave when you want,
but, then again,
would you really want to?

Up here, I'm soaring so far above the city,
but it's too hard to come down if the Devil's here,
sitting,
unbuttoning her dress,
speaking so coyly.
I'm under duress,
how could I be this weak in the knees?
She don't speak sweet nothings,
they're quite distinguished, really.
Could you backstroke your way
out to sea?  
Because I'm not sure how much longer
I can wade in the water up here.
Jesus, I'm afraid of heights,
and her charm, I am not immune.
**** sure she's got me.