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Feb 1 · 681
three
JW Feb 1
three small words

the first time
i felt sick
could not believe
never heard before
never felt before
called you foolish
but only after
did i understand
your painful truth

people always leave

and so did you
Nov 2020 · 47
hope
JW Nov 2020
i have this picture in my head
unrealistic
of me returning
to the place where it started
breathtaking fall colors
as if i had never left
of me dialing
hands shaking
i hear your voice
have counted the days i didn't
"i'm back"
Nov 2020 · 30
city of warriors
JW Nov 2020
your bullet of hate
shot in our infected heart
as it lay wide open
longing for true compassion

united we stand
bleeding the saltiest tears
crying over those
you have brutally taken from us

you will not win
we will not be divided
we are warriors
our holsters overflowing with love
vienna, my love
Nov 2020 · 38
what i have done
JW Nov 2020
all that i have written
each carefully chosen word
drowned in ethanol
to preserve its exquisit taste

transformed my longing mind
into a beautifully morbid museum
shelves overflowing with jars
in them infinite letters - all dead

what an insult to their existence
swimming gracefully in toxic fluid
deprived of evolving further
oh friend, what have i done?
Nov 2020 · 88
Untitled
JW Nov 2020
they say i must be special to you
they say i must be nothing to you
i wish i knew what i was
i have evidence for both
Sep 2020 · 66
hardcover
JW Sep 2020
i switch to my jeans
i slick back my hair
i take off my shirt
i show off my abs
i slip on my martens
i put on my glasses
i light up my cig

i also come in paperback
Sep 2020 · 68
scary stuff
JW Sep 2020
oh what a fool i was
so scared of who you would be to me
i believed i had seen the dustiest corners of your mind
i was afraid it was all a lie, all a joke  
every door, each window wide open
i was scared you would know me too well,
scared i would love you too much
oh what a fool i was
the only thing i should have truely been afraid of this whole time is being without you
because that is the real scary stuff
Sep 2020 · 239
tree of words
JW Sep 2020
once you were gone i stopped writing
and hand in hand with the words unpoken
left the wholeness you had planted in my heart
when you turned around i could see snowflakes imprinted on your back
staring daringly at the little tree growing in my chest
i tried to protect and nurture the words in my brain
that after all were just the leaves of what had once been a seed in the form of a single look
the cold that filled your absence
froze the river that had watered my mind
and each leaf one by one turned yellow then brown before it sank to the bottom of it all
left naked and vulnerable, the tree, it died as the did the words
while i watched the sun and warmth that you embodied get into a car
and drive away without looking back
Aug 2020 · 334
i am sorry
JW Aug 2020
everything happened so fast
we cried
i left
and just like that
it was all over
like we hadn't meant anything
as if we hadn't loved each other
it was nobody's fault
except for maybe life's
we had promised to stay together
a promise we couldn't keep
i wonder whether i am the villan
you stayed behind waiting
miserable is all you were
i couldn't watch
and he made it so easy
easy to forget
how much i loved you
despite the ocean between us
you saw me being happy
and you hated him for it
and i hated you
for not wanting me to be
you made my life colorful
it all faded without you
i was scared of the dull grey
and he sparked a fire, brought light
it felt like being saved
how unfair to want that
i disgust myself
May 2020 · 123
are you really gone?
JW May 2020
day and night
my thoughts are running in circles around you

at the break of dawn
i recall every minute, every second, every breath, every touch
when the sun sets
my brain conjures new memories
intertwining the real and the imaginery
afraid of letting you go completely
scared i might forget
the pierce of your brown eyes, the intensity of your cologne mixed with the scent of a gin tonic, the food stain on your pink hoodie, the raspiness in your voice
when you told me you needed me too

i know you have left
but does that mean you are really gone?
feels like these words mean nothing
May 2020 · 512
magnolia tree
JW May 2020
right outside our tiny refuge
lives a magnolia tree
strong and beautiful

blossoming only for a handful of days
we find its beauty in pastel colors so brief yet breathtaking
to be adored year after year without fail

only in the perfect spot will a magnolia thrive, your grandma says
how do you know whether you've found it?, i ask
you don't until you plant it, you answer
upon arriving home
i will plant a magnolia tree in a perfect spot
because like our little family's
its merit might be discreet and transient but reliably recurring
May 2020 · 518
twin flames #3
JW May 2020
when the world burst into flames
you saved yourself
watching as i caught fire

i reached for the saving water,
threw it at you without hesitation

thankfully apologizing
you turned around and walked away

left behind a blazing flame,
a tower of smoke in the dark night sky
reaching for the gleaming stars
May 2020 · 770
before the storm
JW May 2020
the storm was audible
before it presented itself in all its destructive glory
swallowing the sounds of their nervously beating hearts.
the approaching noise was unfamiliar;
not just plain thunder
but the anger and frustration of all greek gods.

knowing they should seek saving shelter,
curiosity carved them in sleek marbel
as dark clouds marched to zeus' beating drums.

staring at the beauty of the possibility of chaos,
hypnotized by a mixture of grey and black,
they thought of what comes after:
the calm, the peace, the reconstruction of the destroyed.

lightning crept dangerously close.
their hearts beating so fast, it hurt.
they shared one last passionate look
as they fell to the ground for an infinite second.

struck by the epiphany,
they quietly whispered:

t
       h
                e

         s
     t
o
       r
               m

         i
     s

u
     s
Apr 2020 · 207
the art of words
JW Apr 2020
written were uncountable lines
about the bonds we firmly tie

if only they were imprinted on our skin
visible even to the most ignorant eye

would we finally be less ashamed
of who we truely adore

eventually be able to celebrate
what we feel deep in our core

imagine all our loved ones names
tattooed for everyone to see

never again would we deny
that unconditional love is key

one we carry burried in our chest
protected by walls of shame

we could scream and shout and holler
our one most favorite name

the outside of our bodies
covered in glowing art

showcasing the one true treasure
the words sparked in our heart
Apr 2020 · 760
can i have this dance?
JW Apr 2020
the things i never said
running circles in my head

wanting to throw them at you
shove them into your brain too

i try to dance it out
dance and laugh and shout

scream loud hoping you will hear
but you just hide out of fear

obsessed with your brown eyes
that make up the center of your disguise

come dance with me
dance with joy and ease and glee

those thoughts that make me so alive
take them for a drive

like we used to go
putting on our perfect show

so sick of denying
all the frustrated crying

just keep me steady
until i'm ready

(to let go)
Apr 2020 · 983
an unfinished tale
JW Apr 2020
a story with a beginning so
      ordinary
            unintentional
                  insignificant
we weren't lucky enough to be written a worthy end

i wish we had something to blame for what is missing
      immortality
            infinity
                  ­forever
but we have always taken the road less traveled

compiling to an unfinished tale violently bursting with
      but-what-ifs
            i-wish-i-hads
               ­   maybe-somedays
i will recite the idea of you until your finger prints vanish from my brain

you read me everything yet left me begging in vain for
      explanations
            truths
                  insig­hts
i wonder what beauty we could have created
Apr 2020 · 991
orange juice
JW Apr 2020
i bring an extra cup of orange juice
every morning to keep you healthy
while you take an extra step
to keep me sane during quarantine
all i want is to pay tribute
to you who taught me a million things
but all i bring is orange juice
hoping that it will make you feel a little better
i wish i could give you a flawless world
since you already conquered it as it is
for my friend
Apr 2020 · 55
illusion
JW Apr 2020
writing will keep them close
words make memories alive
i catch myself thinking
throwing up yet another line
Apr 2020 · 173
after secret
JW Apr 2020
the last thing you told me
was your darkest secret
there was no after

no time to react
but only wonder
about not knowing sleeping next to you

when you shared what you did not want to
i stared not wanting to hear
no words escaped so i embraced you

you left in a matter of minutes
postponing to a later that never was
did you think you had scared me away?

a million things i would have said
had we been lucky enough
to meet again

you never heard how much you matter
we did not hug goodbye
i wish you knew: after all, i don't care
to you because the unspoken never rests
Apr 2020 · 451
twin flames #2
JW Apr 2020
i can see it flicker, slowly dying
a fire that burned once brighter than our love

i pour in all my heart
longing for the flames to soar back to life

aggressively i throw wet wood, needing to heal
when rising smoke blinds my senses, cuts open my lungs

all the shining colors are gone - red, yellow, gold
as smothering darkness sits on my chest

accompanied by deafening silence
that swallowed the healthy sizzling noise

i stare at the orange fervor, mesmerized
unaware of the tears desperately watering my desiccated eyes

no matter how beautiful
all fires burn out
and that's okay
Apr 2020 · 383
a colorless green idea
JW Apr 2020
once you told me
i get in the way of your happiness

now, wherever my tired legs carry me
your fading shadow follows

my surroundings, nothing but props
drenched in memories, dripping our worst and best moments

if only i could soak up the residue
of the most breathtaking wave i have ever laid eyes on

remembering every deafening surf
i surrender myself to the cold pouring rain

each hard drop aches to wash off
the draining past from my empty face

once you told me
i get in the way of your happiness

but pure happiness
is just a colorless green idea sleeping furiously in our innocent minds
stay safe everybody!
JW Apr 2020
an itsy bitsy virus
violently stole you
from the gentle embrace
that was never firm
afraid you might feel too loved

when you had slipped away loudly
the gentle embrace felt empty
looking for you
with big longing eyes
wherever it traveled

deep down the gentle embrace knew
nobody could fill
the throbbing whole you had left
nothing would replace
what the itsy bitsy virus had taken
Apr 2020 · 211
everything is nothing
JW Apr 2020
i used to think that
          everything is nothing without you
oh dear
          how wrong i was
after all
          everything is everything with me
you are enough
Mar 2020 · 1.1k
all the little things
JW Mar 2020
can you believe all the little things that had to happen for us to meet?
every step, every breath i took to find you.

i don't believe in fate.

can you believe all the little things that had to happen for us to be torn apart?
it started with a bat and ended in a pandemic.

i don't believe in fate.
Mar 2020 · 120
no matter what
JW Mar 2020
i will not try to change you
i will not fight you
i will not be naive

i will accept you
i will wait for you to come to me
i will love you no matter what

i promise
Mar 2020 · 137
times like these
JW Mar 2020
body hurting
mind wandering
you lie wide awake
cuddled in comforting darkness

you wonder
why and how
while the glistening sun
burns deep wholes into your dark soul

thoughts drizzle
merging into a wild stream
that leads you
into the darkest forrest

beautiful old trees
block your vision
that is clouded to begin with
by a million dry tears

in the far distance
you spy with your redened eye
what might be a blooming glade

                                                 R U N  
                                                 F A S T E R
Mar 2020 · 152
branded
JW Mar 2020
your kiss
burnt my lips
bruised my limbs
set me on fire

your look
shook my core
tore me apart
ignited my desire

i leave
my memory branded
stranded without you
waiting by the shore
Feb 2020 · 165
the linguist
JW Feb 2020
we study lips
yet no sound
can convey
what remains unspoken

we draw trees
for every sentence
then refuse
to paint the leaves

every word
we know how to create
but creators
we are not

the history of language
walks our tongues
we admire
without adding

we analyze
written or spoken
to avoid
our own
Feb 2020 · 213
Untitled
JW Feb 2020
your heart is full of songs
written by the people
that changed you
for the better and the worse

the room is empty
you hear them
deep down in your chest
harmonizing for attention

don't cover your ears
it's okay
Feb 2020 · 77
can you hear me?
JW Feb 2020
just listen to me
listen to me cry
listen to me laugh
listen to me scream
be my ears
for i am deaf to my own sound
Feb 2020 · 301
we are one
JW Feb 2020
i can only be as close to you
as i am to myself
because you are me
and i am you

you can only be as gentle to me
as you are to yourself
because i am you
and you are me

we can only love each other
as much as we love ourselves
because we are one
Feb 2020 · 1.0k
twin flames
JW Feb 2020
you burn me
yet you soothe my wounds with your words

i set you on fire
and then lead you to the river

you are the flame
offering the light to find my way

i burn you
and abandon you in pain

you set me on fire
then hand me the oil

i am the flame
you try to escape

we destory
to build back up

together we burn brighter
our fire shining bloodred

together we create a flame so high
it swallows our surroundings

we stand in the middle of the ashes
and look at each other
a couple of days after writing this i talked to this person (who doesn't know about this) and they said to me: "we tear each other down to build us back up" - and we stood in the middle of the ashes and looked at each other
Feb 2020 · 129
three
JW Feb 2020
you have been awake for three
three breaths
three puffs of your cigarette
three hours
what difference does it make

exhaustion is all you feel
in every fibre of your worn out body

you keep moving
although your legs are lead
lead that has not yet fully hardened
you stumble

smoke fills your lungs
you inhale as if it were your last breath
and take another step
Feb 2020 · 323
wire
JW Feb 2020
you had wondered what it felt like
the hair, it looked liked wire

what was underneath made you question
everything you were, all you had ever been

never before had you met anybody
quite so ordinary yet so all-consuming

you ran your fingers through it
the wire felt like coming home
they cut their hair shortly after i wrote this

— The End —