We will meet again
Excited and worried
These endless thoughts
Bothers me unknowingly
Wondering if I could speak
When you are in-front of me
Those sparkly eyes, and—
That sweetest smile I see
Will I confess or just be silent
Mesmerized by your beauty
That looks like an art—
Can be seen from the gallery
Tears fell on my cheeks
Slowly sinking inside of me
That I will see you again
A moment that requires time
To be repeated once in a while

depression depression depression

Stop it.

Leave.

I is me and
you are you.
Seperate from identity
yet your lies root to my core.
I can't help but listen as
gravity gradually seems heavier
and
heavier.

You can feed on me
that's fine.
Distort my reality
and take my smile.
But you will never take my hope.

The endless source behind the
Truth
Of my soul.
You'll never cease the
I in me.

So form each woe,
but forever is my soul.
Endureth this universe.

Go ahead.

Take me.

depression depression depression

she sits in the dark

a toke to her lips

pain forgotten

she blew rings to the wind

with half moon eyelids

she inhaled a philsosphers dream

lost amongst the stars

-A

the moment a poet
falls in love with you

is the moment
you live

f o r e v e r

We are such            clever creatures to divide
Most everything             into its different sides
With chaos versus             order, dark and light
The stark duality of         wrong and right
We even split the very        world in two
With human versus human,       we and you
But still no matter how much      we divide
Each thing has infinitely many      sides

one more for t.m.

her given name is not woman
but human of the feminine,
the fem in the human mine,
mine...

12:10am 4/16/17

Broken

We bought a broken dog
and took him to our broken home
to live with this broken family.
We tried to fix him with broken
training. I was too broken to get
it right. The more I yelled the more
broke he got. I had a drunken insight
one evening walking him in a full moon.
He reminded me of me in my childhood.
I saw things through his broken eyes
and held him close. I promised I'd fix us.
I'd adopted myself from a dog shelter.

zelle ma belle

(zelle is an interbank system for sending cash in an instant to someone else’s bank account)

sent her an unexpected $250,
at 4:00am, of course,
a check-plus for her life,
because she revel reviews her day at school,
as special person day, teaches them well, and
anointed, appointed unsolicited confirmation by them
“as part of our family”
how they crave her body, her touch, at scary movie parts,
her kitchens diner size menu,
her refusal to ever disappoint,
her candy drawer supreme,
her crayon color visions which they execute,
her zen sense of their moods,
and for me,
for calling them without hesitation
my grandchildren

indeed more here hers than mine
she asks me why the $$ and poet doesn’t lie
but thinks quick at 7:30 am while bed prone,
“you won Nana of the Day award”
the only parent on the floor with two kids in her lap,
for the magic show,
the rest, benched, chattingly adultry things


she thinks on it and says
“ok, I accept!”

p.s. also,  I have yet to inform her of the (my) elimination of a
crystal champagne flute while doing my manly cleanup  from Friday night lights dinner pink champagne celebrating  
le weekend’s arrival


olp

i fell in love
and suddenly the sea breeze separating our fingers brought them together
suddenly winter meant warmth
suddenly the sun didn’t set, it rose
and it rose in my chest
and my cheeks turned the brightest shade of pink
i have never felt rosier
i fell in love
and suddenly the sky echoed back to me in starlight
suddenly i had never seen a sea of stars so poetic in the way they flicker back and forth to one another
light years apart but still wholly aware of how bright each other shines;
light years apart and wholly unaware of their influence and how it makes a sad girl feel a part of something bigger
something full of so much light and then
i fell in love
and you were a star scape
but you weren’t light years away
i have held stardust
because i have held you
and i cannot look at the night sky
without thinking about how it will never resemble the glint in your eyes when you smile
i fell in love
and suddenly my skin was softer,
so was my voice
i fell in love
and suddenly i melted into the stardust that resides in your bones, melted into the way you spell out poetry upon my body, melted into the way your glow beams back to the sun in the morning, sunflower
i fell in love with you
and i can’t remember the universe being this beautiful
until i realised
it resides within you.

Please tell me your lies

How you saw a shooting star and thought of you and I

Because even when you’re pressed against me

All  my fingers ever touch is your skin as cold as ice

You’re running out of love to give

And it is eating me alive

So cover me in dishonesty

Make it sweet like honey -

I’ll allow these falsities to drip all over me

Because I’m not sure if I am strong enough to face the truth

As I know if you do see a shooting star you’ll think of you and -

Nothing makes my heart sink
Faster to the bottom of this chest called ocean
Than a clueless defiance
And disregard for the most basic
The most respectful quiet

<•>
4/10/18 10:55pm ~ 4/22/18 2:02 am

Introduction

a simpler than plain fact,  
deserving reflection beyond the obvious,
containing obverse emotional mine field sonar arrays
floating on an ocean unhidden,
listening for the ocean's bleeping hid-dens,
before surrendering to its suck-sinking power of time/gravity
the better life elsewhere is always someone’s misery

<•>
confetti is just tomorrow’s garbage

someone stood on lower Broadway at 5am
watching the sanitation men sweeping up the aftermath of a super bowl  victor’s celebration, with broom heads borrowed from giants’ moustaches

passage of a single thought,
that the victorious celebrated on the parade should
a posteriori be required to participate
in this flip-side experience as
‘active cleaner uppers,’
re-enacting the famous Persian Sufi adage,

“this is too shall pass”

someone whispers we have blessed lives,
rich in the experiential, free of the dragging boredom
of the daily draining of making it, head well above of the
humanizing periodic regularizing water dunkin’ reminder
of just
or

“we too shall pass”

so even the confetti honorees must have too someone whose
life to aspire, the top of the heap, in chained food chain world

assaying perfection and the luck thereof,
picture perfect lives cannot withstand tsunamis of
waves eroding their shapes, wearing boundaries down,
do not forget the invisible invitation from the riptide
just beneath the calm surgical surficial surfacing disguises

if you face my book, will find in a later chapter prior
the fine sorry lines, the pierced titanium bulletproof vest,
the divorces of mistakes remade, the haunted envisioning,
the obligatory items that keep you awake, those awesome
responsibilities that take many small bites of a soul’s coverlet
that cannot be removed isolated jailed or desperate destroyed

confetti rained interspersed with droplets of sand grains,
this man of constant tomorrows, hopeful Mondays, bad Fridays,
is a man of constant sorrows,
pictures and poems life celebrating a never allowed to forget
lucky runs out like the string from packages saved
when no more packages arrive

when the packages no longer get delivered
oh that started years ago, when came the bile instead
of the blood’s replacement clotting factors

passing is a sometime thing
sometime is a most imprecisely defined terminus
sometime means that today’s confetti is a day away
from soured garbage
and you are forever responsible for the cleanup


a picture worth a thousand words
but in me lives tens of thousands words
including

“this is too shall pass”
<•>
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/2467058/writers-block-kick-the-editor-out-of-the-room/