He was glowing in my eyes
A blazing star that could never die
So bright that he made me cry
This highs gonna crash eventually
I soar higher in the levity
The last dredges of feeling
and ends travel from me so quickly
but the colors are so entertaining
pretty colors and unheard voices
Mutter mutter “go away”
“just take a quick climb and fly”
“they all hate you anyway”
another hit, another ****, pop a little dope
back in the sky, medicating till i can cope
voices receding, mind is deleting
cannot keep this up, next time i crash could be the last
here come the voices again louder, killing me with my past
A poem I wrote a few years ago when I was drowning.
It began on a Despairing Night:
I was the most Depressed Laborer around,
He was the most Fake Delusion.
He was my Friend,
My Fake Friend,
We used to Sleep so well together,
We wanted to Die together,
We wanted it all to end.
But one Night, one Despairing Night,
We decided to Lie too much.
Together we Chased Death.
It was Pathetic, so Pathetic.
From that moment our relationship changed.
He grew so Lonely.
And then it happened:
He Lived Life.
My Friend Lived Life.
The next day I thought my mind had broken,
I thought my Life had burst into flames,
But still, He is in my thoughts.
I think about how it all changed that Night,
That Despairing Night.
When I think of that Fake Delusion,
That Fake Delusion and me.
Your pain, my pain
All the same
Here's rain, here’s Jane
An open flame
Calm the counterpart
Warm my broken heart
A lot on the flat mind
A lot like a flat line
I help you, to help me
Deja Vu, Deja Vu
I hurt you, it hurt me
I used to, follow through
Space without a sun
Race that cant be won
Room without a friend
Event none will attend
I want to help
I care about you
Don’t want to help
Don’t care about me
Absurdity is not real
everything means nothing
and nothing means nothing
nothing nothing nothing
…… hah it aint no thing
Rinse and repeat and take my seat
Cut into the meat my mouth feels heat
Of a bitter treat sickly sweet
Digress and digest when we meet
No duress when you suggest we eat
Over a meal ideas compete without a defeat
I became so strong, after all this time
But its been so long, since I was fine
I don't weep no more
Just sleep a lot more
I faced all my fears, but regret still tries to haunt
After all these years, I have no regrets that daunt
Always reliably confident
Ever the reliable confidant
Trusted by all my peers, trusted by myself
Failure to those peers, will leave me by myself
Weakness I will not permit
A luxury I don't get
Weakness in my past, has left me all alone
Friends never last, when I cant stand on my own
But now I'm so strong
And they all came along
Friends never last, but they all came back
I am steadfast, so stay and don't go back
I wont ask you for support
I can carry my own heart
I can carry mine, and I can carry yours
I'll be just fine, be my friend I'll be yours