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That sun is deceiving.
Faux fluorescence, fickle morning light.
In my eyes
so bright,
on my skin
cold as night.

Conniving contrivance of combustion,
yellow liar in the sky
feeding my hopeful mind
full of summertime delight.

Don't step outside,
lest you find
that sun is deceiving.
False light,
bitterly white,
dancing in the
azure heights.
Learning how to type is hard in your 30s.
****,
I guess learning anything
is hard in your 30s.
I don't know how to type, so
last night
I started taking free lessons.

The learning isn't hard, but
the forgetting
is going to be a struggle.

Twenty five years
of bad habits.

****.
I could apply this
to anything
in my life.
When first we met
I thought that you'd
save me.
Now I know that
you were just sent to
betray me.
Crazy.

When I placed my bet
I never thought
it'd be
another twelve days
spent down in
my basement.
Shame me.

Crazy eyes
blame me,
shame me, please just
don't tell me lies.

When first we met
I told you to
shame me
all the time.

Now these days
just flow by
all the time.

Gotten too proud,
too full of ourselves to
walk that line.

That used to divide us
all the time.
Shame me,
blame me,
baby.
There's a button in my psyche.
It's not big,
It's not red.
It's buried somewhere deep
in the back of my head.

My thoughts reach towards it.

It's unassuming,
almost accidental.
Black in color
and not clearly labeled,
but pleasant to the touch.

A mental finger caresses it in slow,
small circles.

It's a super power,
a curse, a boon, a blight.
It makes my eyes glaze over
with drunken delight.
It turns up time,
and slows my mind.
It turns off the world,
it makes day into night.

It turns me into someone
that you wouldn't like.

It makes everyone who loves me
disappear.

I fear the next time I press it,
I won't know how
to bring
them back.
It's a bit dusty
for years it ain't been pressed
I'm a bit rusty
but sure as hell ain't depressed

I figure this is just how it feels
being sober.
I'll burn for this.
It may not be today,
or tomorrow,
or twenty years from now
but,
trust me.
One day I'll burn.
I'll burn.

Through the flames
I'll gaze
into the tear-brimmed eyes
of everyone who's ever loved me.

They'll be waving
and crying,
but they'll be smiling too,
because they knew.
They all knew.
They always knew.
I never fooled any of them.
Not a single
******* one.

Honestly,
I never even fooled
myself.

Destined for the ashtray.
A charred, black fate.
Fuel for the Lord of the pit,
hotdog on a stick
bobbing and rotating
above my head.





That smells so good..
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