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I beat loud when you see him,
I race when he smiles and laughs,
but I sink when he doesn’t give you attention
and you wish for something other than just a photograph.
I’ve been broken many times,
please don’t let another in,
I’m patiently waiting to heal another crack,
maybe I should already begin.
I told you not to wear me on your sleeve,
when has that been good for you?
you know you care too much,
look at it from my point of view.
you yearn for him to want you,
just like the last,
I’m sorry this keeps happening,
but don’t forget the past.
I asked you to be careful,
and I know you’ve tried,
he makes you giddy & excited,
but most of all tongue-tied.
he’s more than you’ve known,
a good guy for you,
is it the right time?
I wish that I knew.
they always say to follow me,
I never understood why,
I’ve always been fragile,
especially when you have to say goodbye.
take this as a lesson,
the answers will come soon,
maybe as a sign,
like the phases of the moon.
I’ll keep beating,
we’ll get through this together,
I’ve never given up on you,
and I hope he doesn’t either.
april 7, 2019 (2:04 PM)
Ariana Bagley Mar 19
a cry for help
a desperate plea
I need a sign to reassure me
that everything is as it should be.
I wish I was content
I wish I didn’t ache
I still look up with blank stares
as my hope continues to shake.
there isn’t a solution
to cure the cracks in my heart
the wind still blows
and makes me fall back apart.
someday I’ll be better
someday I’ll see the sign
it’ll shine in big bright letters
and remind me that everything will be fine.
February 21, 2019 (11:30 PM)
Ariana Bagley Mar 16
our love,
reminds me of the ocean.
just like the tides, you pull me in
when I need guidance.
your dedication is infinite,
it reminds me of the color blue,
a soft, glistening ocean blue.
your touch is passionate and calming,
like the crash of waves
dancing during a sunset.
take a journey with me.
let’s follow the deep glistening tides
and shimmering blue waves.
relaxing,
safe,
reassuring.
our love,
beautiful,
like the ocean.
March 16, 2019 (4:45 PM)
the prompt: the ocean
Ariana Bagley Feb 26
I’ve been lost in my own head
my thoughts racing every which way
I’m trying to decide what’s best for me
only to end up dazed every waking day.
I hear the words,
“what’s been up with you lately?”
rather than,
“I’m here for you if you need me.”
if a genie gave me a few wishes,
I’d ask him for happiness & clarity
but what I want the most
is to get rid of my hostility
my tears have dropped
my hope has fallen
and as many times as my heart has been broken
it has once again
February 22, 2019 (9:43 PM)
Ariana Bagley Feb 14
4 letters,
2 syllables,
1 simple meaning.
a word that can either,
make you
or break you.
a feeling that can either,
tear you apart
or fix some of the broken pieces.
it’s one of those words
you never believed you’d hear,
but how do you react
when you do?
do you
jump up and down?
or cry out loud?
4 letters
2 syllables
1 simple meaning:
LIES
February 12, 2019 (11:08 PM)
i have paid the fines
of dozens of overdue library
books i never finished reading.
i love reading.
i love curling up
in a big leather armchair
while the sun reaches out
to me through the window
as time slows
and my coffee grows cold.
but tolstoy and fitzgerald
sit on my shelves
or in my purse
carried everywhere
and collecting dust.
i can see the silhouette
of who i would like to be.
the curve of her hips
the stillness of her limbs.
she grows her own herbs
and tries out new recipes
while her husband is at work.
she doesn’t mind driving
for hours alone
and enjoys singing
along to the radio
going five under the speed limit.
she is not in a hurry.
she is proud
and sure
and poised.
she reads books and returns
them on time.
she gave up on dreaming
and hoping
and longing
and finally began
living.
Ariana Bagley Nov 2018
somehow you end up in my dreams
& I’m left wanting more sleep
you, on the other hand
wish I would go away
& stay out of your life
I wish you’d understand that I’ve spent many nights
with my face in my pillow
hoping for a sign to move on
but instead I just hope that someday we’ll be friends again.
yesterday, you proved that that’ll never happen.
the countless hours I’ve spent reminiscing
with tear stained cheeks
& a stomach full of twist & turns
was for nothing.
you’ve made the past few months of my life a constant fear
of rejection & hurt
but I still held onto the,
“he’ll come back. he will.”
you’re not coming back
& I’m done waiting.
november 11, 2018 (9:06 AM)
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