They say
parents are there for you
where were they
when I needed them
I was hurting
I was screaming for help
They didn't hear
I have become numb
To the pain
I have given up
  Dec 5 Ariana Bagley
Why does it always feel like
no one's listening
when I talk?
I'm never loud enough..
Ariana Bagley Nov 11
somehow you end up in my dreams
& I’m left wanting more sleep
you, on the other hand
wish I would go away
& stay out of your life
I wish you’d understand that I’ve spent many nights
with my face in my pillow
hoping for a sign to move on
but instead I just hope that someday we’ll be friends again.
yesterday, you proved that that’ll never happen.
the countless hours I’ve spent reminiscing
with tear stained cheeks
& a stomach full of twist & turns
was for nothing.
you’ve made the past few months of my life a constant fear
of rejection & hurt
but I still held onto the,
“he’ll come back. he will.”
you’re not coming back
& I’m done waiting.
november 11, 2018 (9:06 AM)
I’m surrounded by people I love,
people who cherish me,
their embraces warm me every second
and all I feel is empty.
my mind is scattered,
my heart is scared,
and I spend every waking night
reminiscing on memories shared.
I’m no longer me,
I’ve only been numb,
I wonder when I’ll find her again,
hopefully in days that’ll come.
I miss who she used to be,
when she wasn’t a mess,
not a care in the world,
living without stress.
someone help me find her,
bring her back to me,
so I can study her parts
and be who I’m supposed to be.
october 31, 2018 (10:43 PM)
my heart wasn’t intact when I met you
but you took my pieces
and arranged them into a puzzle I didn’t know could complete me.
you held them close,
cherishing the small details they entailed,
and warmed them when they were bitter.
one day,
you decided my puzzle wasn’t yours anymore,
and you threw away those tiny, curvy fragments.
a few there and a few here,
I will find them.
I’ll piece them back together,
and find my heart again.
looking up at the stars,
I wonder why my heart feels this way,
the same way it did before I met you.
october 1, 2018 (10:57 PM)
Ariana Bagley Sep 22
I miss being vulnerable
the feeling of being open
the ability to be exposed
and pretend I’m not broken
I miss letting people in on my secrets
I miss people wondering my fears
I miss people wanting to know more and more
but all those people have disappeared
those people took parts of me with them
leaving holes inside for me to find
maybe that’s why my heart hums
but I have to keep an open mind
I’ll hide the pieces people have left for me
(I wish people would’ve done the same with mine)
I’ll pick them up and hold them dearly
(oh and I wonder why I’m so confined)
do I really miss being vulnerable?
letting people in?
I can keep telling myself, “people always leave”
but I’ll only regret it in the end.
sept 21, 2018 (7:15 PM)
only time will tell us if you were the best one for me, if I was the best one for you, or if we were never good for each other in the first place.
august 28, 2018 (7:20 AM)
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