Meet me at doorway to the afterlife
Death divides us like a knife
Where grass is greener the moment you walk through
Dream so good
The skies are blue too

Where people pass through the portal
Not looking back
Crossroads
A never-ending railroad track
It is all things this world needs but doesn't own
Meet me there when it's my time to go

I will spend as much time necessary
Whole life if that is how long it takes
Missing out on things while you miss me
You are worth longing
Persistence
Heartaches

My formless fear grows in size each day
It lives inside
Keeping cursed
Moment is coming for you to be taken away
If it was me I have faith you'd stay through the worst

I was glass
You were wood

Picture frame perfect

I found in you the vibrance I was missing to display a beautiful picture

I looked empty before you
Transparent

As we grew older I learned to depend on you more and more

I stood in your stable embrace

Without your arms lack the strength to keep my thin figure upright

We were useless by ourselves

Together captured a moment to remember forever

It seems so pointless without a photo to reserve each priceless memory

This sorrow weighs my weary soul down
I drag it along like a curse
When I am not sad I am filled with anger
I don't know which is worse

Someone deeply in love with once said
I quote
"You like being sad"

Give that thought
Doesn't make sense
Oxymoron at best

Eventually he will realize sometimes sadness sits inside of you and it burns like a flame no amount of laughter or love can extinguish

Some rowing with the current
I'm rowing against it

All in same river

A blanket of snow covers ground
Heart is coated in frost
Pieces of memory are scattered all around
Little reminders of what I have lost

Fold me like paper cranes
I'm teetering on the edge
Inside chest is origami heart
Youï're tearing it to shreds
Emotions weighing down sleeve
"I love you" explicitly displayed
Typed in boldfacefont nonetheless
Permanent ink refusing to fade
My intentions retain their golden hue
Still in place and intact
Not tarnished by savagery of life
Despite good nature being attacked
You hold my hope within hands
Whether realizing or not
Acknowledge presence when convenient
I am simply an afterthought
No happy ending waits in future
It took me way too long to admit
Finally given up on all efforts
To force into a mold we'll never fit
I believed we'd grow old together before
Us to start a family was my dream
Beneath the romantic surface
Story wasn't as meant to be as it seemed
Potential traded for rush of getting high
For the thrill of fortune and speed
If only had known promises of grandeur
Lies and not a chance to succeed
I told myself problems soon would better
Waited patiently for more than awhile
I reached the point eventually
Where could I no longer continue in denial
I lost control of feelings long suppressed
Succumbed to chaos of my mind
Watching our relationship disentegrate helplessly
Crumbling pieces of what once was so perfectly aligned
Despair took ahold of body
No choice but to accept what we became
After eternity in your absence
Still haunted by your name
Skin cold to touch from loneliness
Destined forever to stay incomplete
I am close enough to bathe in your shadow
Yet still too far to ever bask in your heat

Tell me the things you feel
Tell me as we lay torn in
bed
Tell me your wounds to heal
Tell words left unsaid

Tell me why keeping me here
Tell me otherwise I will doubt
Tell me the things you fear
Tell me when time's run out

Tell me why say nice things to me
Tell me what is your hidden motive
Tell me your love is free
Tell me the reason you selflessly give

Tell me you hear my cries
Tell me why hand you hold
Tell me what's seen in my eyes
Tell me you will not leave when I'm old


Tell me when you'll change your mind
Tell me by showing every day
Come
Tell me if you plan on leaving me behind
Tell me how really feeling today

It's a slow road to no place I find myself on
With heavy walking feet
Time sacrificed in the break of indecision
To save myself from inhumane heat

Yet crystallized life I desperately covet
Has drained of all it's shine
Look into the mirror for answers
Every morning there are none to find

A cave of whispers shelters as I rest
The crickets keep me company
Stacked promises like stones in my breath
To dust crushed and tossed into the sea

I didn't enjoy the pain I caused
It wasn't fun to watch Mom cry
Was the perfect angel before the fall
Spiraled downwards without asking why

Stole heart with that type of life
Seemed like a movie scene
Said the word yes before I discovered
What that choice would actually mean

I thought it would taste sweet on tongue
Never guessed it would be sour
Was utterly in control before
Disappeared in the drug's power

Had me bending at slightest breeze
Ground inches from face
Too much for my weak body
Playing at such a fast pace

Always getting forced to aching knees
I am looked at like a zoo
Wrong turns reflected in eyes
Why I stopped sobriety I have no clue

Alone I travel this crooked path
Can't believe I'm here
Everything finished waiting
I waste year after year

Yet with the hype and madness about the Coronavirus
I open window and take a deep breath breath of icy Alaskan air

The glass wearing a frosty negligee
Leaving transparent area just large enough to get a small peek at the natural show of pale snowy scenery on the other side

Eerily quiet
There is a foreboding sensation about the vacant stadium
Lone songbird whistling simple serenades to a pre-apocalyptic invisible audience

I've accepted cold reality
You truly are forever gone
Without your presence I feel empty
Hard to find the strength to go on

It was the last thing I longed to do

He was THE ONE after all

Playful smile
Mischievous eyes
Coming with the tide to wash up on my shore to stay forever

Wanted fairytale to remain intact

And just like that it imploded and all its perfection scattered a dozen different directions with one catastrophic explosion

He was impossible to capture
I should have realized that from the start

I tried pinning him down but maybe when I did that he couldn't breathe
I crushed his lungs AND his spirit...

I feel everybody's eyes trained on my back

Your hand clasping mine

Your lips on my cheek

But all is at stake

Like it is not mine to keep

I do not know where to go from here
Vision blurred by every heavy tear
Helplessly witnessing hope disappear
I am forced to face my greatest fear

Disarmed defenses
Under false pretenses
Deceiving all five senses

The words spilled out my mouth like water
I sit here ashamed
My best shot at communication failed
Tells how badly I aimed

The world morphing you into who it wants to see
Do not let it tear you apart
Only listen to those you aspire to be
First do what you feel in your heart

My head's full
Too much stuff
Wandering
Wondering
I've had enough
Inflating my skull till I have a migraine
One thousand thoughts crowding my brain

I hope you live life to fullest
The image you've always dreamed
Want your plans to work out for the best
If they differ from how you schemed
I pray you realize power you hold
Could fell mountains with one hand
When it counts the most
Do not hesitate to take a stand
I hope you find tranquility
Joy that you deserve
Sure your resilience will get you by
Each time world throws you a curve
If finding yourself in a state of frustration
Take moment to breathe and clear your head
Patience an essential component
Navigating the road ahead
You have integrity and a heart of gold
Two things will take you far
Don't ever doubt that you have the strength
To bounce back from even the deepest scar
If trying your hardest I know you'll triumph
Achieving the peace you desire
Remember when you're feeling your lowest
Forever you'll be someone I admire
Like how you surely speak your mind
If it's not what I want to hear
The way you never fail to strive for excellence
At home as well as in your career
It's time I tell you I am grateful
For constantly being there
From the bottom of my heart
Thanks for showing you care
I am happy for you and Cheyenne
Should be proud as hell
Having a woman who is not only beautiful
Intelligent as well
You both are lucky to have each other
Lean on through thick and thin
To each have an equal partner
Sees beneath surface of skin
I am certain you treat her right
Never let her go
It's rare to find your soul mate
If and when you do you know
So congratulations you lovebirds
Finally tying the knot
In the future if nothing else
At least you cherish each other a lot
So raise our glasses together
I declare another toast
Honor and celebrate Cheyenne and Michael
Couple we all love the most!

Afraid to get hopes up too high
In case you are not feeling the same
Know we are practically strangers
I can't help but smile when I think of your name

I cannot convey how I feel right now

Not computer
Ball-tip pen
No. 2 pencil
Felt-tip marker
Even mental imagery can depict

I hide in creative silence